


Parents (Aren't Always Right)

by ProsperDemeter



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Art, Chats, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Idk what i'm doing, Idk what's going to happen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Irondad, Kinda?, M/M, Norman Osborn's A+ parenting, Other, Parent Tony Stark, Slowish burn?, Texting, Tony Stark Has A Heart, an Avengers chat exists, does anyone, dyslexic!harry, f e b r u a r y, for someone that disses google translate a lot in this story i rely on it a lot, i am a DC fangirl and i project that onto my characters a lot, if you know please tell me, listen these boys love each other a lot, lmao i'm terrible at this, lots of art, my terrible translation skills, no, reverso is a god, this story is wild guys, what is tagging, whoops, you mean tagging isn't a place to just talk to readers?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:26:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 42
Words: 97,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24953752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProsperDemeter/pseuds/ProsperDemeter
Summary: Unknown Number: think anyone would believe this was a mistakePeter: omgPeter: dad would flipPeter: dad will flipUnknown Number: or we could like… not tell our dadsPeter: or that
Relationships: Harley Keener & Nebula & Peter Parker & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Harley Keener & Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Harley Keener/Marco Abreo, Harry Osborn & Peter Parker & Gwen Stacy & Mary Jane Watson, Harry Osborn/Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Harley Keener & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Gwen Stacy, Nebula/Cassandra Madison, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 1301
Kudos: 871





	1. Unknown

**Author's Note:**

> Lmao I'm back on my bullshit, this time with Parksborn!

**_Unknown Number_ **

**Unknown Number:** brb I tripped and fell over my dad's ego 

**Peter:** I 

**Peter** : I honestly don't know what to say in response random number 

**Unknown Number** : Marco? 

**Peter:** p… polo? 

**Unknown Number** : Qui êtes vous?

**Peter** :  _ what _

**Unknown Number:** shit 

**Unknown Number:** désolé

**Peter** :  _ w ha t _

**Unknown Number** : wudjof

**Unknown Number** : just English then? 

**Unknown Number:** sorry 

**Peter** :  _ i am so confused  _

**Peter** : wait 

**Peter:** come back

**Peter** : are you okay

**Unknown Number:** ? 

**Peter** : you tripped over an ego

**Peter:** are you okay? 

**Unknown Number:** no I skinned my knee on his attitude smh

**Peter** : omg 

**Peter:** RIP

**Unknown Number:** lmao thanks 

**Peter** : he sounds like a trip

**Unknown Number:** a trip over dynamite 

**Peter** : I

**Unknown Number:** adios número equivocado

**Peter:** adios stranger! 

**Unknown Number:** why did that sound like a 50 year old white dad said it 

**Peter:** excuse you 

**Unknown Number:** no offense 

**Peter** : full offense

**Unknown Number** : oops 

**Unknown Number:** too bad I'll literally never talk to you again 

**Peter:** you 

**Peter** : you're a little mean aren't you 

**Unknown Number** : why are you still texting me 

**Peter** : idk I'm bored

**Peter** : but you're a little  _ mean _ aren't you

**Unknown Number:** a little 

**Unknown Number:** lmao edit that 

**Unknown Number:** I'm a bitch 

**Peter:** but your dad has the ego

**Unknown Number:** he does

**Unknown Number** : where do you think I got the bitch from

**Unknown Number:** it’s genetic

**Peter:** true true

**Peter:** I’m a little shit and so is my dad cuz

**Peter:** genetics

**Unknown Number:** well there ya go 

**Unknown** **Number:** all genetics fault

**Peter:** that’ll be $5 for the electrons, the neutrons are free of charge

**Unknown Number:** no 

**Unknown Number:** no

**Unknown Number:** we are not continuing this this way

**Peter:** but

**Unknown Number:** NO

**Unknown Number:** i want to go to bed why can’t i go to bed

**Peter:** because it’s 6pm? 

**Unknown Number:** it’s 12am here

**Peter:** oop time zones

**Peter:** WAIT

**Peter:** does this mean

**Peter:** that you have an accent

**Unknown Number:** idk maybe

**Unknown Number:** we all have accents

**Peter:** what languages do you speak? 

**Unknown Number:** english, french, spanish, chinese, korean, japanese, italian

**Peter:** w ha t 

**Unknown Number:** languages are fun

**Peter:** i’m sorry

**Peter:** w h a t 

**Peter:** d… do you ever get them confused

**Unknown Number:** literally all the time

**Unknown Number:** i once asked for the bathroom in a weird spanish and japanese combination it was hilarious to anyone that is not me

**Peter:** lmao I bet

**Peter:** why can’t you sleep? 

**Unknown Number:** the crushing weight of my sins

**Peter:** i

**Peter:** mood

**Peter:** but like

**Peter:** i’m sure you did nothing that bad

**Unknown Number:** you don’t know me

**Unknown Number:** you don’t know my life

**Peter:** well like no

**Peter:** but

**Peter:** idk you seem kinda nice

**Unknown Number:** excuse you

**Unknown Number:** i am a Bitch and I will Never be Nice

**Peter:** liar

**Unknown Number:** what no

**Peter:** l i a r 

**Peter:** say something mean

**Peter:** right now

**Peter:** do it

**Unknown Number:** you’re the single most annoying thing to happen in my life 

**Unknown Number:** literally go play in traffic

**Peter:** omg you did it

**Peter:** i don’t know why i’m surprised

**Peter:** I didn’t think you’d do it

**Unknown Number:** i get a text from you and all i want to do is find you and punch your face

**Peter:** omg please do

**Peter:** i want to punch my face every day too

**Unknown Number:** you

**Unknown Number:** you don’t get to turn this around on me

**Peter:** bitch watch me

**Unknown Number:** no

**Unknown Number:** i demand this stop

**Peter:** i demand you stop

**Unknown Number:** now you’re a little mean 

**Peter:** thank you it feels weird

**Peter:** think you can tell my brother i’m mean

**Unknown Number:** ew there’s two of you

**Peter:** he’s worse

**Unknown Number:** i do not care

**Peter:** you texted ME this time

**Unknown Number:** and i regret it more and more each passing second

**Peter:** so like

**Peter:** idk

**Peter:** stop answering

**Unknown Number:** Senti, devi renderti conto, e lo dico costruttivamente, che mi dai fastidio.

**Peter:** okay i know very little Italian

**Peter:** but my dad is fluent

**Peter:** and did a spit take when I showed him that

**Peter:** how dare you say i’m annoying when YOU texted ME

**Peter:** and then disappear

**Peter:** you really are a bitch huh

**Peter:** wait omg that sounds mean 

**Peter:** you’re not a bitch sdfisdf

**Peter:** you seem weirdly nice? 

**Peter:** just icy

**Peter:** I hope you got some sleep, stranger

**Unknown Number:** 億劫

**Peter:** wha…

**Peter:** how

**Peter:** how do you say that

**Unknown Number:** okkuu

**Peter:** did you

**Peter:** really just

**Peter:** call me annoying

**Peter:** in JapAnEsE

**Unknown Number:** yes

**Peter:** HOW AM I ANNOYING

**Unknown Number:** i regret texting you 

**Peter:** NO REALLY HOW

**Unknown Number:** why do you text the way you do

**Unknown Number:** isn’t it annoying to hit enter between literally every thought

**Peter:** NO!

**Peter:** I am so offended

**Unknown Number:** rip

**Peter:** where are you right now

**Unknown Number:** why 

**Unknown Number:** why is this still happening 

**Peter:** you could just stop answering

**Unknown Number:** or you could stop texting me 

**Peter:** no i’m bored 

**Unknown Number:** where are YOU

**Peter:** school

**Unknown Number:** you should probably pay attention to that, js

**Unknown Number:** maybe you’ll learn a new language or something

**Peter:** was English your first language

**Unknown Number:** no

**Unknown Number:** my first language was Bitch

**Peter:** do you call yourself a bitch to not feel pain when someone else calls you a bitch

**Unknown Number:** it’s like 6am for you why are you psychoanalyzing me 

**Peter:** it’s 7am actually 

**Peter:** and because i already know how to solve irrational equations

**Unknown Number:** i hope you get caught

**Peter:** rude

**Unknown Number:** at least i’m on brand

**Peter:** wait was english really not your first language

**Unknown Number:** omg you ask so many questions

**Unknown Number:** i learned english and french at the same time

**Peter:** ooo 

**Peter:** was that confusing? 

**Peter:** my dad knows like four languages 

**Peter:** i only know passable spanish and like three words in italian 

**Peter:** and they’re all swears

**Unknown Number:** you don’t seem the swearing type

**Peter:** what does that mean? 

**Unknown Number:** idk you seem innocent 

**Peter:** I’m not innocent!

**Unknown Number:** you apologized for calling me a bitch when I call myself a bitch at least five times a day

**Peter:** well 

**Peter:** that’s just

**Peter:** called being nice

**Unknown Number:** sorry I had lab and had to turn off my phone

**Peter:** i thought you didn’t want to talk to me anymore

**Unknown Number:** i don’t

**Peter:** then why did you apologize

**Peter:** or text to start back up the convo

**Unknown Number:** i was raised never to let someone else get the last word in

**Peter:** so 

**Peter:** you were raised

**Peter:** to be petty

**Unknown Number:** yeah it’s part of my dna structure

**Peter:** my brother says little shit is part of mine 

**Unknown Number:** your brother sounds like a dick

**Peter** : i mean 

**Peter:** he's not 

**Unknown Number:** he calls you innocent and a little shit… that’s not nice 

**Peter:** i’ve been told it’s actually normal for siblings

**Unknown Number:** i have none so 

**Peter:** I have too many

**Peter:** uh… there’s my brother Harley

**Unknown Number:** the dick

**Peter:** noooo he’s cool

**Peter:** uhm

**Peter:** Nebula she’s the oldest

**Peter:** and Morgan the littlest

**Unknown Number:** i don’t even like that many people

**Peter:** lmao

**Peter:** we’re all adopted too

**Unknown Number:** so like… is your dad Batman

**Peter:** i mean

**Peter:** you’re not far off

**Unknown Number:** wait so he IS Batman?

**Peter:** lmao nooooo

**Peter:** Batman’s not real

**Peter:** he’s just 

**Peter:** d a d 

**Peter:** similar he’s similar

**Unknown Number:** lmao the only person similar is Tony Stark

**Peter:** ha

**Peter:** if only

**Peter:** that’d be cool

**Unknown Number:** I met him once

**Peter:** oh?

**Unknown Number:** yeah

**Peter:** how was it!

**Peter:** he’s kinda my hero

**Unknown Number:** not that great ngl

**Unknown Number:** i got lost at a gala and accidentally walked into his room. He wasn’t mean or anything but kind of just had me escorted out

**Peter:** you were at a gala

**Unknown Number:** oui

**Peter:** did you find your way back? 

**Unknown Number:** no, I just wandered the hallway until security found me and brought me to my dad

**Peter:** oh no

**Peter:** that must have been terrible

**Unknown Number:** par for the course

**Peter:** that

**Peter:** you never answered me 

**Unknown Number:** ? 

**Peter:** was it confusing

**Peter:** growing up knowing both french and english

**Unknown Number:** not really… when you’re learning both you don’t really think about it

**Unknown Number:** it only got confusing in school but that’s just because it was in Italy and now I had to learn  _ another _ language

**Peter:** w h a t 

**Unknown Number:** boarding school kid 

**Peter:** that sounds

**Peter:** kinda miserable ngl

**Unknown Number:** did you dad adopt you when you were a baby

**Peter:** i

**Peter:** no

**Peter:** i was 13

**Unknown Number:** oh. So you  _ are _ like Robin then. 

**Peter:** what?

**Unknown Number:** look it up

**Peter:** what should i call you

**Unknown Number:** why is this going to keep going

**Peter:** i mean

**Peter:** it doesn’t have to

**Peter:** you can stop at any time

**Peter:** no pressure you know

**Peter:** did you save my number in your phone 

**Unknown Number:** no

**Unknown Number:** why would i

**Peter:** oh

**Peter:** okay

**Peter:** is it

**Peter:** is it okay if i save yours

**Unknown Number:** you do you, Robin

**Peter:** are you secretly a nerd

**Unknown Number:** it’s not a secret

**Unknown Number:** but if you tell anyone i will have to hack your phone and probably kill you

**Peter:** lmao you can try

**Peter:** I have a Stark Phone though 

**Unknown Number:** eh easy enough to hack

**Peter:** they’re… unhackable?

**Unknown Number:** so far

**Peter:** i

**Unknown Number:** Stark Tech is pretty easy to work around, tbh 

**Unknown Number:** he always names an access code after one of his kids

**Peter:** uhm

**Unknown Number:** it’s kinda lame but cute I guess

**Unknown Number:** if it wasn’t so damn  _ easy _ to guess

**Peter:** what can i name you as in my phone though

**Peter:** Anti-Stark?

**Unknown Number:** random number

**Peter:** that’s

**Peter:** no

**Unknown Number:** why don’t you just ask? 

**Peter:** no that’s

**Peter:** stranger danger man no

**Unknown Number:** lmao okay then prince chivalry 

**Peter:** is it

**Peter:** is it okay

**Peter:** you know

**Peter:** if i keep texting you

**Unknown Number:** i guess

**Unknown Number:** if you need something to do

**Peter:** !!!!!!

**Peter:** thank you!

**Peter:** pronouns? 

**Unknown Number:** no

**Peter:** ok

**Unknown Number:** it’s 3am

**Peter:** oh

**Peter:** time zones

**Peter:** yikes

**Unknown Number:** he/him

**Peter:** oh cool

**Peter:** same

**Unknown Number:** bonne nuit

**Peter:** buenas noches 

**Unknown Number:** did you ever change me in your phone

**Peter:** idk what to change you to

**Unknown Number:** get creative

**Peter:** good morning btw

**Peter:** afternoon I keep forgetting time zones

**Unknown Number:** i’m six hours ahead of you

**Peter:** so 

**Peter:** good afternoon

**Unknown Number:** morning

**Peter:** did you ever text Marco

**Unknown Number:** yeah, dyslexia’s a bitch

**Peter:** wa i t

**Peter:** you have dyslexia 

**Peter:** AND know a shit ton of languages

**Unknown Number:** yeah it’s my special talent 

**Peter:** i

**Peter:** i’m in a w e 

**Unknown Number:** lmao don’t be 

**Unknown Number:** it’s not that impressive

**Peter:** no it is

**Unknown Number:** i have a question for you

**Peter:** hmm

**Unknown Number:** when were you planning on telling me that you’re Peter Stark

**Peter:** uhm

**Unknown Number:** i mean it figures 

**Peter:** how

**Unknown Number:** you literally listed the names of your siblings

**Unknown Number:** Tony Stark has his kid’s names as gatekeepers for his code

**Unknown Number:** so either you’re masking yourself as Peter Stark which… weird 

**Unknown Number:** or you  _ are _ Peter Stark

**Peter:** I

**Peter:** we all just have names in common?

**Unknown Number:** okay sure whatever you say

**Peter:** sdfjsdfjsdf

**Peter:** okay it’s me

**Peter:** don’t sell this number?

**Unknown Number:** only if you don’t sell mine

**Peter:** ????

**Peter:** literally why would I

**Unknown Number:** google Harry Osborn 

**Peter:** i

**Peter:** why

**Unknown Number:** just do it

**Peter:** okay??

**Unknown Number:** what does it say under languages 

**Peter:** oh 

**Peter:** are

**Peter:** no 

**Unknown Number:** the odds

**Peter:** omg 

**Unknown Number:** think anyone would believe this was a mistake

**Peter:** omg

**Peter:** dad would flip

**Peter:** dad  _ will _ flip

**Unknown Number:** or we could like… not tell our dads

**Peter:** or that

**Peter:** so is Norman Osborn as much of a jerk as dad says he is

**HarryOsborn:** if it’s possible…  _ more _

**Peter:** rip

**HarryOsborn** : thanks i’ll need it to not die 


	2. Flirt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the response to text fics shock me every time I post one. Thank you so much for reading chapter one!
> 
> One day I will figure out how to post pictures within the story but today is not that day.

**_HarryOsborn_ **

**Peter** : so you’ve always been at boarding school

 **HarryOsborn** : yeah basically 

**HarryOsborn:** also hi, good afternoon

 **Peter:** Good morning! 

**Peter:** having a good day

 **HarryOsborn** : it’s a _day_

 **HarryOsborn:** do you have any idea how confusing it is to learn _another_ alphabet

 **Peter:** no

 **Peter:** i am shook you do

 **HarryOsborn:** russian is weird

 **HarryOsborn:** i hate to love it

 **Peter:** so

 **Peter:** you’re a 

**Peter:** language nerd

 **HarryOsborn:** i literally already said that 

**Peter:** it just shocks me 

**Peter:** ya know

 **Peter:** Harry Osborn is a language nerd

 **HarryOsborn:** and Peter Stark is annoying

 **HarryOsborn:** but we all knew _that_ already

 **Peter:** you’re cranky

 **HarryOsborn:** perpetually

 **Peter:** that must be such a sad way to live life

 **HarryOsborn:** it’s just life

 **HarryOsborn:** how are you so happy all the time

 **Peter:** I mean

 **Peter:** my life’s not _that_ bad

 **HarryOsborn:** it’s not _that_ bad

 **HarryOsborn:** Robin

 **Peter:** should i be insulted 

**Peter:** like

 **Peter:** Robin’s the sidekick

 **HarryOsborn:** Robin is not _just a sidekick_

 **Peter:** oh man

 **Peter:** you’re _passionate_

 **Peter:** keep going

 **Peter:** it’s

 **Peter:** dare i say it

 **Peter:** cute

 **HarryOsborn:** you shut your mouth

 **Peter:** c u t e 

**HarryOsborn:** i am _not_ cute

 **Peter:** c u t e

 **Peter:** who’s your favorite comic book character

 **HarryOsborn:** Nightwing

 **Peter:** i asked Nebula who that was

 **Peter:** and she said Red Hood is better

 **Peter:** I understand none of this

 **HarryOsborn:** the _only_ acceptable competition is Red Robin 

**Peter:** like

 **Peter:** the burger place

 **HarryOsborn:** _like the burger place_

 **HarryOsborn:** uncultured

 **Peter:** i

 **Peter:** is it not a burger place?

 **HarryOsborn:** i hate you

 **Peter:** no you don’t

 **HarryOsborn:** no i really do

 **Peter:** ok so i looked it up

 **HarryOsborn:** why don’t you have anything better to do but message me

 **Peter:** i’m literally doing other things

 **HarryOsborn:** are you tho

 **Peter:** yeah i’m working with dad and Harley in the lab

 **HarryOsborn:** and texting me? I feel so honored

 **Peter:** that was sarcasm

 **HarryOsborn:** _gasp_

 **HarryOsborn:** how ever did you know

 **Peter:** rude

 **Peter:** anyway

 **Peter:** i looked it up

 **HarryOsborn:** _why_

 **Peter:** because we were having a conversation

 **Peter:** and i want to be able to contribute

 **Peter:** there’s more than one Robin? 

**Peter:** like…

 **Peter:** how did i not know this

 **HarryOsborn:** because DC writers suck in showing it in movies

 **HarryOsborn:** nightwing is superior and i will fight your sister on that

 **Peter:** i like Tim

 **HarryOsborn:** you would

 **Peter:** why does that sound insulting

 **HarryOsborn:** beats me Stark

**Peter:** sorry

 **HarryOsborn:** for what?

 **Peter:** disappearing

 **Peter:** dad needed my hands

 **HarryOsborn:** you literally don’t need to apologize

 **Peter:** yeah but 

**Peter:** we were in the middle of a conversation

 **Peter:** it’s rude to just leave

 **HarryOsborn:** you’re good, Stark

 **Peter:** anyway 

**Peter:** i’m back

 **HarryOsborn:** i was so lonely without you

 **Peter:** awe

 **HarryOsborn:** no that was sarcasm

 **HarryOsborn:** I do have friends

 **Peter:** do you?

 **Peter:** the tabloids say you’re a loner

 **HarryOsborn:** you believe everything tabloids print

 **Peter:** no

 **Peter:** prove them wrong

 **Peter:** you’re never in any pictures with anyone

 **HarryOsborn:** because people suck

 **HarryOsborn:** and require a lot of attention

 **HarryOsborn:** case in point - you

 **Peter:** ow

 **HarryOsborn:** my best friend is named Gwen

 **HarryOsborn:** i met her in Portugal and she goes to school in London

 **Peter:** you’re so

 **Peter:** worldly

 **HarryOsborn:** it’s easy to travel in Europe

 **HarryOsborn:** just get a passport and hop on a train

 **Peter:** ugh i wish

 **Peter:** dad will barely let me out of NYC to go upstate

 **HarryOsborn:** that’s not too bad though

 **HarryOsborn:** I would kill to be back home

 **Peter:** you miss it? 

**HarryOsborn:** everyday

 **HarryOsborn:** what’s your favorite part of the city

 **Peter:** the people

 **HarryOsborn:** quick answer

 **Peter:** it doesn’t take much to think about

 **Peter:** the people are great

 **Peter:** like the power and strength there? 

**Peter:** they’ve survived terrorist attacks and weird blackouts and _aliens_

 **Peter:** and they still yell insults at each other in traffic

 **HarryOsborn:** true

 **HarryOsborn:** none of them took very kindly to me so

 **HarryOsborn:** my favorite part was the noise

 **HarryOsborn:** it was always so loud 

**Peter:** I wish it was quieter sometimes

 **HarryOsborn:** I can’t sleep without the city sounds 

**Peter:**!!! They have apps for those!

 **HarryOsborn:** i know

 **HarryOsborn:** i use one

 **HarryOsborn:** it drives Marco insane

 **Peter:** who’s Marco to you?

 **HarryOsborn:** hmm?

 **Peter:** a friend or?

 **HarryOsborn:** roommate

 **Peter:** your dad didn’t get you your own room

 **HarryOsborn:** against the rules here

 **HarryOsborn:** and i don’t want my own room

 **Peter:** fair

 **Peter:** i’m happy for my own space

**Peter:** hey you still there?

 **HarryOsborn:** yeah had to go to dinner

 **Peter:** where do you go to school

 **Peter:** you never said

 **HarryOsborn:** Paris

 **Peter:**!!!! I always wanted to go to Paris

 **HarryOsborn:** you should come

 **HarryOsborn:** you’d fit in with all the hipsters

 **Peter:** i’m not a hipster

 **HarryOsborn:** have you seen your interview in Time Magazine? 

**HarryObsorn:** you said you’re favorite band is AJR 

**HarryOsborn:** you’re a hipster

 **Peter:** uhm hello

 **Peter:** who could _not_ like AJR

 **HarryOsborn:** i’ve never listened to them

 **Peter:** THIS MUST CHANGE

 **HarryOsborn:** how about no

 **Peter:** what was that you said

 **Peter:** i couldn’t hear you over your own ego

 **HarryOsborn:** ooo burn

 **HarryOsborn:** it hurts so bad 

**HarryOsborn:** i think i’m going to have to go cry now

 **Peter:** noO

 **Peter:** the sarcasm will kill me

 **HarryOsborn:** one can only wish

 **Peter:** lmao

 **Peter:** you’re not really that mean huh

 **HarryOsborn:** excuse you

 **Peter:** you’re s o f t

 **Peter:** don’t tell me you’re not smiling right now

 **HarryOsborn:** i’m not

 **Peter:** i don’t believe it

 **HarryOsborn:** i’m _not_

 **Peter:** _prove it_

 **HarryOsborn:**[Harry](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/712553972273606578/)

**_Stark Sibling Chat_ **

**Peter:** h e l p 

**Peter:** help

 **Peter:** _help_

**Nebula:** Stop. 

**Harley:** no

 **Peter:** _i forgot how hot he was_

 **Nebula:** Who? 

**Harley:** Osborn? 

**Harley:** wait you’re still talking to him?

 **Nebula:** Tony won’t be happy. 

**Peter:** _this is not helping_

 **Harley:** why did you think i would be helpful

 **Nebula:** Yes, why? 

**Nebula:** He is not helpful unless it is in the lab. 

**Harley:** ouch

 **Peter:** _h e l p me_

 **Harley:** _h o w_

 **Peter:** _why is he so attractive_

 **Nebula:** Do you not have friends you can ask this of? 

**Harley:** omg please do

 **Harley:** i need to see MJ’s reaction to you being a dumbass

 **Peter:** _Harley no_

 **Nebula:** Please take this somewhere else. 

**Peter:** Nebula

 **Peter:** my favorite big sister

 **Nebula:** I am your only big sister.

 **Peter:** _why do you hate me this way_

 **Harley:** you mean

 **Harley:** _why does the universe hate you this way_

 **Peter:** Parker luck

 **Peter:** _strikes again_

 **Harley:** bitch you’re a Stark

 **Harley:** this is only a problem because you’re a Stark

 **Peter:** fhsdhfsdh

 **Peter:** I _know_

 **Harley:** and he’s an Osborn

 **Harley:** it’s like disgusting Romeo and Juliet

 **Peter:** _he’s not even into guys it’s okay i’ll just die_

 **Nebula:** As long as it’s out of this chat. 

**Peter:** _Nebula_

 **Harley:** _burn_

**_HarryOsborn_ **

**HarryOsborn:** did you die? 

**Peter:** why

 **Peter:** would you miss me

 **HarryOsborn:** no

 **Peter:** yes you wooooould

 **HarryOsborn:** un peu

 **Peter:** _i have google at my disposal_

 **HarryOsborn:** rip

 **Peter:** you _would_

 **HarryOsborn:** shit 

**Peter:** _I googled it_

 **HarryOsborn:** fine

 **HarryOsborn:** a _little_

 **Peter:** awe

 **Peter:** you l i k e me

 **HarryOsborn:** no that’s too far 

**HarryOsborn:** i like no one

 **HarryOsborn:** that would ruin my carefully crafted bitch facade 

**Peter:** because it’s not _real_

**Peter:** i’ll keep it to myself though

 **HarryOsborn:** you’re so kind

 **Peter:** I try

 **HarryOsborn:** gtg dad’s calling

 **Peter:** booo

 **Peter:** tell him he smells like a rotten pumpkin

 **HarryOsborn:** lmao _if only_

**Peter:** so

 **Peter:** funny story

 **Peter:** dad

 **Peter:** THE _Tony Stark_

 **Peter:** has never been to McDonalds

 **Peter:** _who the hell has never been to McDonalds_

 **HarryOsborn:** don’t hate me but

 **Peter:** don’t you even

 **HarryObsorn:** _i’ve never been to McDonalds_

 **Peter:** NO

 **Peter:** HEATHEN

 **HarryOsborn:** it’s so unhealthy?

 **HarryOsborn:** and greasy? 

**HarryOsborn:** and disgusting? 

**Peter:** you mean _delicious_

 **HarryOsborn:** no 

**Peter:** and you _get a toy_

 **HarryOsborn:** with kids meals

 **Peter:** how have you never had McDonalds I

 **HarryOsborn:** wait Gwen is upset too

 **Peter:** well she’s _smart_

 **Peter:** unlike you

 **HarryOsborn:** oh wow

 **HarryOsborn:** i’ve talked to you for like three days and this is the meanest you’ve ever been

 **Peter:** how do you type full sentences so fast

 **HarryOsborn:** practice

 **Peter:** entirely unhelpful

 **HarryOsborn:** that’s just who I am

 **Peter:** how was your dad

 **HarryOsborn:** _father_ was fine

 **Peter:** d

 **Peter:** does he make you call him father

 **HarryOsborn:** Norman Osborn doesn’t _make_ anyone do anything

 **Peter:** but

 **HarryOsborn:** i don’t think i’ve ever called him dad to his face

 **Peter:** oop

 **Peter:** i called Tony dad when i was fifteen

 **Peter:** and he cried like a big baby

 **HarryOsborn:** you’re eighteen right? 

**Peter:** yep!

 **Peter:** so are you tho yeh

 **HarryOsborn:** seventeen

 **Peter:** you baby

 **HarryOsborn:** literally die

 **Peter:** no 

**Peter:** you would be sad and i don’t want you to be sad

 **HarryOsborn:** i

 **HarryOsborn:** sad is part of my brand

 **Peter:** no your brand is Bitch

 **HarryOsborn:** you right

 **HarryOsborn:** it is

 **HarryOsborn:** are you sure it can’t be Sad Bitch

 **Peter:** sad boi

 **Peter:** no sad

 **Peter:** unless it’s because you have never had McDonalds

 **HarryOsborn:** McDonalds is disgusting

 **Peter:** lies

 **Peter:** i have to go to bed 

**Peter:** buona notte

 **HarryOsborn:** 晚安

 **Peter:** w… what does that say

 **HarryOsborn:** goodnight, Peter

 **Peter:** goodnight, Harry

**HarryOsborn:** so 

**HarryOsborn:** i hate you

 **HarryOsborn:** but

 **HarryOsborn:** [McDonalds](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/529454499934864882/)

**_Gwenasaurus_ **

**Gwen:** hola 

**Harry:** buongiorno

 **Gwen:** still texting your arch nemesis

 **Harry:** he’s not a nemesis

 **Gwen:** no 

**Gwen:** you’re right

 **Gwen:** because he’s

 **Harry:** Gwen no

 **Gwen:** a 

**Harry:** Gwen

 **Gwen:** c

 **Gwen:** r

 **Gwen:** u

 **Gwen:** s

 **Gwen:** h

 **Harry:** i hate you

 **Gwen:** i know that means you love me

 **Harry:** no

 **Gwen:** we’ve been friends since you got lost in Portugal when you were like twelve, Harold

 **Gwen:** and you’ve been gay for Peter Stark since you met him at a gala when you were fourteen

 **Harry:** n o 

**Gwen:** stop lying to yourself

 **Harry:** i’m not

 **Gwen:** you got McDonalds because you’re _whipped_

**Harry:** nO

 **Harry:** maybe

 **Harry:** Gwen i’m fucked

 **Gwen:** no 

**Gwen:** you _want_ to be fucked

 **Harry:** _Gwen_

 **Gwen:** where am i wrong

 **Gwen:** he’s bi you know

 **Gwen:** it’s in that Time article you pretend you don’t have

 **Harry:** _i know_

**Gwen:** you should ask him out

 **Harry:** _no_

 **Gwen:** why

 **Harry:** dad would probably kill me

 **Gwen:** you’re already risking that by texting him

 **Harry:** i know

 **Harry:** i should stop

 **Gwen:** don’t

 **Gwen:** he can’t dictate your life Harry

 **Harry:** until i’m out of his house he can

 **Gwen:** you’re not _in_ his house

 **Gwen:** so

 **Gwen:** like no harm in flirting

 **Harry:** hsfhsidf

 **Harry:** i didn’t ask for advice

 **Gwen:** but you got it anyway 

**Gwen:** _oops sucks for you_

 **Harry:** McDonalds is still disgusting

 **Gwen:** you liked it didn’t you

 **Harry:** shut

 **Harry:** ta gueule

 **Gwen:** you shut up

 **Gwen:** or ya know

 **Gwen:** _flirt_ with a Stark

 **Harry:** i hate you

 **Gwen:** love you too

**_HarryOsborn_ **

**Peter:** good morning sunshine

 **HarryOsborn:** is it sunny there

 **HarryOsborn:** cuz it’s raining here

 **Peter:** yeah super sunny 

**Peter:** [sunny NYC](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/838865868079547454/)

 **HarryOsborn:** ugh i miss nyc

 **Peter:** nyc misses you too

 **Peter:** also

 **Peter:**!!!

 **Peter:** you got McDonalds?!

 **HarryOsborn:** it was literally the most disgusting thing ever

 **HarryOsborn:** and i’ve had escargot

 **Peter:** ew you’ve eaten slugs?

 **HarryOsborn:** i live in _France_

**HarryOsborn:** who _hasn’t_ had slugs here

 **Peter:** that’s disgusting

 **Peter:** what did you think 

**Peter:** really?

 **HarryOsborn:** …. 

**Peter:** it wasn’t that bad huh

 **HarryOsborn:** i hate you

 **Peter:** i’m starting to think you don’t mean that

 **HarryOsborn:** no i do

 **Peter:** liar

 **Peter:** but i’ll let you have it

 **Peter:** because i don’t think your carefully crafted bitch persona could handle being taken down a notch

 **HarryOsborn:** it couldn’t

 **HarryOsborn:** thank you

 **Peter:** that’s what i’m here for

 **Peter:** to build you up

 **HarryOsborn:** you _should_ tear me down

 **Peter:** i figure that tabloids do that enough

 **HarryOsborn:** how are you so nice

 **Peter:** when you’re dealt shitty cards 

**Peter:** sometimes all you have is kindness

 **HarryOsborn:** comment vas tu réel

 **Peter:** hmm? 

**HarryOsborn:** you’re an idiot, Stark

 **Peter:** you’re not so bad yourself, Osborn


	3. Geoff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still f l o o r e d people like my stories lmao. Thank you everyone that commented, kudoed, and bookmarked.
> 
> Translations at the bottom 😊

**_ Marcolicious _ **

**Marco** : question

 **Harry:** quoi 

**Marco:** pourquoi y a-t-il un pigeon dans notre chambre

 **Harry:** Parce que tu as laissé la fenêtre ouverte

 **Marco:** Ramène moi le petit déj

 **Harry:** no

 **Marco:** Café et pains au chocolat, s'il vous plaît

 **Harry:** you are literally the worst

 **Marco:** are you bringing me and Geoff breakfast, mon cher? 

**Harry:** who the fuck is Geoff

 **Harry:** Marco if you adopted that pigeon

 **Marco:** your father is calling

 **Harry:** you? 

**Marco:** oui

 **Marco:** do i answer?

 **Harry:** ughhf

 **Harry:** omw

 **Marco:** quel?

 **Harry:** un momento por favor

 **Marco:** i only know French and Anglais, Harry

 **Harry:** un momento per favore

 **Harry:** shit

 **Harry:** give me a moment, please

 **Marco:** are you okay, mon cher

 **Harry:** oui, je parle à trois personnes

 **Marco:** oooo

 **Marco:** ton amoureux?

 **Harry:** Marco, no

 **Marco:** tu es adorable

 **Harry:** talk to Geoff 

**Marco:** Geoff is the only one that understands

 **Harry:** rip

 **Harry:** Geoff better be gone by the time I get back

 **Marco:** or else _what_

 **Harry:** i will get a new roommate

 **Marco:** no one else will put up with you

 **Harry:** rude

 **Marco:** i am true

 **Harry:** right*

 **Harry:** and no

 **Harry:** i am a fucking joy to be around

 **Marco:** oui with your attitude 

**Marco:** you are a trésor

 **Harry:** anyone would be lucky to have me as a roommate

 **Marco:** only if you bring food

 **Harry:** [Bakery](https://pin.it/5f54MCm)

 **Harry:** i have your food smh

 **Marco:** tu es un ange, Harold!

 **Harry:** best you remember that

**_HarryOsborn_ **

**Peter:** what time is it there

 **HarryOsborn:** google is your friend

 **Peter:** sfssds

 **Peter:** or you could 

**Peter:** idk

 **Peter:** _tell me_

 **HarryOsborn** : what time is it there

 **Peter:** 11am

 **HarryOsborn:** add six

 **Peter:** no i don’t wanna math

 **HarryOsborn:** add five to 12

 **Peter:** 17

 **HarryOsborn:** _you’re exhausting_

 **Peter:** dad tells me that at least once a day

 **HarryOsborn:** _subtract_ 12

 **Peter:** but then i’m back at 5

 **HarryOsborn:** _you exhaust me_

 **Peter:** wait

 **Peter:** is it five

 **HarryOsborn:** y e s

 **Peter:** oop 

**Peter:** it’s so late 

**Peter:** for you that is

 **HarryOsborn:** how is five late

 **Peter:** later than 11

 **HarryOsborn:** obviously

 **HarryOsborn:** that’s how time works

 **Peter:** you seem less cranky today

 **Peter:** should I text you around 5pm more often

 **HarryOsborn:** Marco wants to adopt the pigeon that flew through our window last night

 **Peter:** i

 **Peter:** you didn’t answer me

 **HarryOsborn:** yes because this is infinitely more important than what time you text me

 **Peter:** but

 **Peter:** why does he want the pigeon

 **Peter:** why _don’t_ you want the pigeon

 **HarryOsborn:** because it’s a pigeon

 **Peter:** do you hate birds

 **HarryOsborn:** i hate that Marco left the window open and _just happened_ to have a pigeon fly in our window during the night and now he _wants to keep it_

 **Peter:** i take it back you’re still grumpy

 **HarryOsborn:** i am perpetually grumpy

 **HarryOsborn:** which isn’t the problem here

 **Peter:** it sounds like a problem

 **Peter:** how can i make it better

 **HarryOsborn:** _Stark_

 **Peter:** _Osborn_

 **HarryOsborn:** tu es exaspérant

 **Peter:** i don’t know what that means

 **Peter:** but i’m going to assume it’s something rude

 **HarryOsborn:** _i do not want a pigeon_

 **Peter:** so say no

 **HarryOsborn:** you obviously don’t know Maroc

 **HarryOsborn:** Marco*

 **Peter:** i don’t 

**Peter:** he sounds wild

 **HarryOsborn:** he’s a

 **Peter:** a?

 **HarryOsborn:** i can’t think of the word

 **HarryOsborn:** casse couille

 **Peter:** _i don’t understand_

 **Peter:** handsome? 

**Peter:** sweetheart? 

**Peter:** idiot? 

**HarryOsborn:** no that’s you

 **Peter:** so _quick_

 **HarryOsborn:** you know when someone just _grates_ on you

 **Peter:** yeah?

 **HarryOsborn:** that’s Marco

 **Peter:** wait which one is me

 **Peter:** handsome, sweetheart, idiot

 **HarryOsborn:** i think you know

 **Peter:** handsome? 

**HarryOsborn:** plouc

 **Peter:** i googled _that_

 **Peter:** how dare you call me a peasant

 **HarryOsborn:** if the peasant fits

 **Peter:** r u d e

 **Peter:** you’re so _grumpy_

 **HarryOsborn:** this is me

 **HarryOsborn:** Captain Bitch

 **Peter:** jfc 

**Peter:** you made me snort my milk

 **HarryOsborn:** are you just _drinking milk_ in the middle of the day

 **Peter:** for lunch yeah

 **HarryOsborn:** you’re having _milk_ with _lunch_

 **Peter:** it’s either milk or milk 

**HarryOsborn:** _what_

**Peter:** do you _not_ get milk with lunch

 **HarryOsborn:** what are you eating with it?

 **HarryOsborn:** cereal?

 **Peter:** it’s friday so 

**Peter:** pizza

 **HarryOsborn:** _you’re having milk and pizza for lunch_

 **Peter:** yes

 **Peter:** why

 **Peter:** is that weird?

 **HarryOsborn:** _y e s_

 **Peter:** what do you have with lunch?

 **HarryOsborn:** normal shit

 **HarryOsborn:** tea, water, something that’s _not_ milk

 **Peter:** it’s just what the school gives us

 **Peter:** _gotta get healthy bones_

 **HarryOsborn:** American schools are weird

 **Peter:** you’re American

 **HarryOsborn:** _technically_ i have dual citizenship

 **Peter:** i feel like they shouldn’t trust you with that

 **HarryOsborn:** probably not

**Peter:** hey

 **Peter:** if i asked for help

 **HarryOsborn:** literally don’t 

**HarryOsborn:** i am in another country 

**Peter:** saifhsf

 **Peter:** with _spanish homework_

 **Peter:** who’s the one that doesn’t have anything else to do now 

**HarryOsborn:** oh i’m sorry i can go back to hating you

 **Peter:** noO

 **Peter:** doN’T

 **HarryOsborn:** do you consciously type like that

 **Peter:** why do you drop ????

 **HarryOsborn:** because those are for questions and i question nothing

 **Peter:** _that doesn’t even make sense_

 **HarryOsborn:** never said i did

 **Peter:** anyway

 **Peter:** homework?

 **Peter:** help?

 **Peter:** me?

 **Peter:** please?

 **HarryOsborn:** ¿qué necesita ayuda con?

 **Peter:** _all of it_

 **HarryOsborn:** the struggle is real

 **Peter:** i

 **Peter:** is that a yes

 **HarryOsborn:** _¿qué necesita ayuda con?_

 **Peter:** _por favor?_

 **HarryOsborn:** Sí, señor. Envíeme sus preguntas.

 **Peter:** _i love you_

 **HarryOsborn:** no

 **HarryOsborn:** i only have one rule, Stark

 **Peter:**?

 **Peter:** what is it

 **HarryOsborn:** don’t fall in love with me

 **Peter:** i wasn’t _planning on it_

 **HarryOsborn:** no it was

 **HarryOsborn:** _impossible_

 **Peter:** wait was that

 **Peter:** oh

 **Peter:** that was a _quote_

 **HarryOsborn:** send me your notes or something and i’ll get back to you

 **HarryOsborn:** i have to stop Marco from adopting a pigeon

 **Peter:** let Marco live his life

 **HarryOsborn:** no

 **Peter:** oop or _that_

**Peter:** you were sending a quote right? 

**Peter:** like that wasn’t….

 **Peter:** _why can’t i delete messages sjdfhsud_

**_Stark Sibling Chat_ **

**Harley:** Peter is screaming

 **Harley:** and usually i wouldn’t care

 **Harley:** but you’re _annoying_

 **Peter:** I ALREADY FUCKED UP

 **Nebula:** You owe me $20, Harley. 

**Harley:** damn it

 **Peter:** _help_

 **Nebula:** Why would I help when I’m making money off of your misery?

 **Peter:** why is everyone i love mean

 **Harley:** double or nothing, Neb

 **Nebula:** Do not call me that unless you want to be pulverized.

 **Harley:** _bet_

 **Peter:** i hate you both

 **Nebula:** You do not. 

**Harley:** Peter you can’t even lie about that without feeling guilty

 **Peter:** _help me_

 **Harley:** you haven’t even said what’s going on

 **Peter:** i sent a thing

 **Peter:** and i need to delete the _thing_

**Nebula:** $40 says Peter makes more of a fool of himself as the week goes on. 

**Harley:** those are terrible odds

 **Harley:** Peter makes a fool of himself once daily

 **Nebula:** You are right. 

**Peter:** _w o w_

 **Harley:** ask Ned

 **Harley:** if it’s a hacking thing

 **Peter:** no 

**Nebula:** Why? 

**Peter:** because then I have _explain_

 **Harley:** and god forbid anyone but _us_ be tortured with your bisexual panic

 **Nebula:** Oh this is over that Osborn? 

**Peter:** _Nebula_

 **Harley:** when isn’t it

 **Nebula:** What happened to your crush on Liz Allen? Or MJ? They were nice and you were much less annoying. 

**Harley:** lmao

 **Harley:** damn she’s just killing you today

 **Peter:** Liz moved 

**Peter:** and MJ is _gay_

**Nebula:** That makes sense. 

**Harley:** did you send him a picture of you

 **Harley:** or something dumber

 **Harley:** $40 says it’s dumber

 **Nebula:** $60 says he’s flirting by accident. 

**Harley:** Peter _flirts_?

 **Nebula:** Where did he go? 

**Nebula:** Peter confirm which it was. 

**Peter:** _no_

 **Harley:** ha!

 **Harley:** that means i’m right

 **Nebula:** No it does not.

**_HarryOsborn_ **

**HarryOsborn:** Marco and i released Geoff earlier

 **HarryOsborn:** it was a tragedy for him

 **Peter:** who is Geoff

 **HarryOsborn:** the pigeon that wanted to be our roommate 

**Peter:** i feel like there’s a story here

 **HarryOsborn:** not really

 **HarryOsborn:** Marco left the window open last night, the pigeon flew in, Marco met Geoff, fell in love, and wanted to keep them

 **Peter:** and you had to be the buzzkill

 **HarryOsborn:** yes

 **HarryOsborn:** that _is_ my middle name

 **Peter:** uhm lies

 **Peter:** internet tells me your middle name is Theopolis

 **Peter:** which

 **Peter:** w ow that’s a shit middle name

 **HarryOsborn:** excuse you that belonged to some obscure grandparent that i never met but must build my life around

 **Peter:** _dramatic_

 **HarryOsborn:** anyway

 **HarryOsborn:** [Geoff](https://pin.it/64Dk1Ef)

 **Peter:** omg 

**Peter:** rip Geoff

 **Peter:** you majestic airplane

 **HarryOsborn:** _he is a pigeon, Peter_

 **Peter:** he is _majestic_

 **HarryObsorn:** you called him an _airplane_

 **Peter:** yes because he _flies_

 **Peter:** are you a bitch because you were cursed with Theopolis as a middle name?

 **HarryOsborn:** you go through life with your name being Harold Theopolis and _tell me_ that doesn’t turn you into a grade a bitch

 **Peter:** i’ll stick with my more _normal_ name thanks

 **HarryOsborn** : you googled me?

 **Peter:** you haven’t googled me?

 **HarryOsborn:** i mean

 **HarryOsborn:** _should_ I?

 **Peter:** why wouldn’t you?

 **HarryOsborn:** idk just… everything about me is out there, ya know? It takes away the fun of getting to know someone.

 **Peter:** should i not have?

 **Peter:** i kinda wish i didn’t now

 **Peter:** uhm

 **HarryOsborn:** i mean everyone does it

 **HarryOsborn:** i’ve been googled more times than i can count

 **HarryOsborn:** don’t feel bad about it

 **Peter:** i kinda do now though

 **Peter:** cuz i get it

 **Peter:** dad’s really good at keeping me out of the media tho

 **HarryOsborn:** i wish

**HarryOsborn** : я плачу means both i’m angry and i’m crying and it makes _me_ angry and want to cry

 **Peter:** i

 **Peter:** _don’t_?

 **HarryOsborn:** i hate Russian

 **Peter:** i take it it’s a struggle

 **Peter:** how does it mean both tho

 **HarryOsborn:** stress patterns

 **Peter:** like legit question

 **HarryOsborn:** are you telling me none of the others were legit

 **Peter:** boo

 **Peter:** i’m _shook_ man

 **Peter:** how does learning languages work with dyslexia

 **HarryOsborn:** english is the hardest

 **HarryOsborn:** and math

 **HarryOsborn:** _i hate math_

 **Peter:** oh

 **Peter:** that sounds

 **Peter:** i can’t compute cuz i love math

 **HarryOsborn:** well yeah you would

 **HarryOsborn:** you’re weird 

**Peter:** i sdfuhsdf

 **Peter:** _excuse me_

**_Talk to Me_ **

**Harley:** Peter has a _boyfriend_

 **Harley:** and he won’t tell you 

**Harley:** so _i will_

 **Peter:** HARLEY JOSEPH

 **MJ:** wow i literally have never cared

 **Ned:** DUDE!

 **Flash:** who would want to date you

 **Harley:** lmao guess who it is

 **Peter:** _harley no_

 **Harley:** boo you’re no fun

 **Harley:** stop pouting 

**Harley:** I WON’T DO IT STOP POUTING

**_HarryOsborn_ **

**HarryObsorn:** wanna hear something crazy

 **Peter:** always

 **Peter:** also it’s like 3am 

**Peter:** _why are you up_

 **HarryOsborn:** sleep is for the weak

 **HarryOsborn:** anyway

 **HarryOsborn:** Marco’s an idiot

 **Peter:** is Marco your only friend?

 **HarryOsborn:** no, i have Gwen

 **HarryOsborn:** now sh, i’m telling a story

 **Peter:** oh right 

**Peter:** lmao 

**Peter:** sorry 

**HarryOsborn:** 입 닥쳐

 **Peter:** _what_

 **HarryOsborn:** _shut up_

 **Peter:** why do you only send me _mean things_ in other languages

 **HarryOsborn:** dios mio 

**HarryOsborn:** Marco is an idiot and wrote his number on a bathroom stall because he wasn’t to be a basic white girl, right? 

**Peter:** i

 **Peter:** don’t avoid my question

 **HarryOsborn:** well he got called by some dude looking to hook up

 **HarryOsborn:** so now he’s dressing as a girl, sneaking out of the dorm, and going to “surprise him” so that he knows how rude it is to be sexist

 **Peter:** _what_

 **HarryOsborn:** and apparently i’m his driver so

 **Peter:** _tomorrow is a tuesday, harry_

 **HarryOsborn:** _today_ is a Tuesday

 **HarryOsborn:** yeah i’m not getting any sleep

 **HarryOsborn:** and really hope my dad doesn’t decide to track my location right now

 **HarryOsborn:** _cuz i am so screwed if he does_

 **Peter:** does he do that a lot?

 **HarryOsborn:** track my location? 

**HarryOsborn:** it’s probably the one normal parental thing my dad _does_

 **Peter:** my dad doesn’t track my location

 **HarryOsborn:** yeah but if you were in a different country he might

 **Peter:** i guess

 **Peter:** you’re not tired

 **HarryOsborn:** estoy _exhausto_

 **Peter:** i’m starting to think

 **Peter:** that you don’t even switch languages on purpose

 **HarryOsborn:** Marco _owes me_

 **Peter:** he does

 **Peter:** what’s your favorite animal

 **HarryOsborn:** panda

 **HarryOsborn:** they’re just so _round_

 **Peter:** you’re soft when you’re tired

 **HarryOsborn:** hmm

 **HarryOsborn:** yting is hrad 

**HarryOsborn:** fuck

 **Peter:** it _is_ hard

 **Peter:** you’re good lmao

 **Peter:** i make more spelling mistakes and have zero excuse

 **HarryOsborn:** what’s your favorite animal

 **Peter:** dogs

 **HarryOsborn:** boring

 **Peter:** dogs are great!

 **HarryOsborn:** Marco’s ready to go home yaaay

 **Peter:** yay Marco

 **Peter:** how did the adventure go?

 **HarryOsborn:** hell if i care

 **Peter:** text me when you get back okay?

 **Peter:** idk how i feel about you driving this late

 **HarryOsborn:** psh

 **HarryOsborn:** i’ll be fine

 **Peter:** please? 

**Peter:** my mug has a panda

 **Peter:** [Peter ](https://pin.it/196Pq3P)

**HarryOsborn:**!!!!

 **Peter:** got back okay? 

**HarryOsborn:** si

 **HarryOsborn:** gn

 **HarryOsborn:** [Harry](https://pin.it/ya79b2i)

 **Peter:** goodnight, Harry

**_Stark Sibling Chat_ ** ****

**Peter:** _he's so pretty_

 **Harley:** Peter

 **Harley:** it’s midnight

 **Harley:** _stop screaming over your boyfriend_

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations:
> 
> quoi: what
> 
> pourquoi y a-t-il un pigeon dans notre chambre: why is there a pigeon in our room? 
> 
> Parce que tu as laissé la fenêtre ouvertee: because you left the window open
> 
> Ramène moi le petit déj?: bring me back breakfast? 
> 
> Café et pains au chocolat, s'il vous plaît: coffee and a chocolate croissant, please
> 
> Mon cher: my dear
> 
> Un momento por favor: one moment please 
> 
> Un momento per favore: one moment please 
> 
> oui, je parle à trois personnes: yes, I'm talking to three people 
> 
> ton amoureux: your lover boy
> 
> tu es adorable: you are adorable 
> 
> Oui: yes
> 
> trésor: treasure 
> 
> tu es un ange: you are an angel
> 
> tu es exaspérant: you are exasperating 
> 
> casse couille: pain in the ass
> 
> plouc: peasant
> 
> ¿qué necesita ayuda con?: what do you need help with? 
> 
> por favor: please 
> 
> Sí, señor. Envíeme sus preguntas: yes, sir. Send me you're questions. 
> 
> я плачу: I'm angry or I'm crying
> 
> 입 닥쳐: shut up
> 
> estoy exhausto: I'm exhausted


	4. Grump

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am soft 
> 
> Shout out to Maya, Kayla and Elise. 😁
> 
> Translations at the bottom! 😊

**_Stark Sibling Chat_ **

**Peter:** good morning sibs

 **Peter:** have a _day_ today

 **Nebula:** You are unusually happy for seven in the morning. 

**Harley:** _i don’t like it_

 **Peter:** _enjoy your day_

 **Harley:** _i do what i want_

 **Nebula:** Enjoy your day as well, Peter. 

**Peter:**!!!

 **Peter:** love you, Nebula

 **Nebula:** Love you too, Peter. 

**Harley:** wait

 **Harley:** why does no one love me

 **Peter:** cuz you’re a _jerk_

 **Harley:** i

 **Harley:** did you just get

 **Harley:** _mean_

 **Harley:** how 

**Peter:** i have my ways

 **Harley:** _this is why we don’t text osborns_

 **Peter:** boo you suck

 **Harley:** and you swallow

 **Peter:** and

 **Harley:** …

 **Harley:** _and_?

 **Harley:** Peter?

 **Harley:** come back and explain

 **Harley:** _Peter_

 **Harley:** Nebs?

 **Harley:** _where did you both go_

 **Harley:** this hurts so bad

**Peter:** good

 **Nebula:** You both have class. 

**Harley:** are you going to tattle on me

 **Peter:** please don’t

 **Nebula:** Peter is my favorite boy in this family. Morgan is my favorite sibling. 

**Harley:** fair

 **Peter:** fair

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Peter:** how much sleep did you get

 **Harry:** i hate the world

 **Harry:** it is too bright

 **Peter:** i take it you got like none

 **Harry:** an ouhr

 **Harry:** hour*

 **Peter:** oh noooo

 **Peter:** take a nap

 **Harry:** i’m in alcss 

**Harry:** _fucking hell_

 **Harry:** class*

 **Peter:** it’s 1pm 

**Peter:** when does class get out? 

**Harry:** 3

 **Peter:** you usually type me full sentences and it’s _weird_ that you’re not

 **Harry:** typing is hard

 **Harry:** wrds are rude 

**Harry:** word*

 **Harry:** w o r d s **

 **Harry:** _i hate them_

 **Peter:** _you’re so cute when you’re grumpy_

 **Harry:** _take that back_

 **Harry:** nothing about me is cute

 **Peter:** the picture you sent yesterday says differently

**Peter:** d… did i break you

 **Harry:** je me déteste

 **Peter:** uhm

 **Peter:** i googled that and

 **Peter:** don’t? 

**Harry:** _stop googling me_

 **Peter:** stop sending me things in other languages

 **Peter:** i have google translate permanently on my phone now

 **Peter:** because of you

 **Harry:** google translate is a whore

 **Peter:** w o w 

**Harry:** i will destroy google with my bare hands

 **Peter:** no you won’t

 **Harry:** no i won’t

 **Harry:** shut off the sun it’s too bright

 **Peter:** the earth would freeze, Harry

 **Harry:** i hate the cold

 **Peter:** even the snow?

 **Harry:** especially the snow

 **Peter:** what’s your favorite season? 

**Harry:** summer

 **Harry:** it’s warm and no school

 **Peter:** i like fall the most

 **Peter:** not too hot and not too cold

 **Peter:** and pumpkin _everything_

 **Harry:** are you secretly a basic white girl

 **Peter:** Harley’s worse

 **Peter:** but like

 **Peter:** _yeah_

 **Harry:** Gwen’s grandad makes this apple cider that is _to die_ for 

**Harry:** he told me he’d make me some for my birthday and I’m screaming over it still

 **Peter:** that is adorable 

**Harry:** yeah a he’s cute old man

 **Peter:** no you...

 **Peter:** _i’ll allow it_

 **Peter:** does Gwen have an accent

 **Harry:** yeah it’s thick and posh and british

 **Peter:** _oh my god_

 **Harry:** do you

 **Harry:** have a _thing_ for accents, Stark? 

**Peter:** _i_

 **Harry:** omg _you do_

 **Peter:** n o 

**Peter:** anyway

 **Harry:** no this converatstion is not over

 **Harry:** _what the fuck is atht word_

 **Peter:** atht

 **Harry:** le parole sono difficili

 **Peter:** is it easier to type in different languages? 

**Peter:** like…

 **Peter:** just curious

 **Peter:** i noticed you tend to switch when english gets hard

 **Harry:** si

 **Harry:** sometimes if i switch it gives my mind a shock enough to fix itself 

**Peter:** but 

**Peter:** nothing about how your mind works _needs_ to be fixed

 **Harry:** i know that, Stark

 **Harry:** don’t worry i wasn’t being mean

 **Peter:** just

 **Peter:** it kinda sounded like you were 

**Harry:** who can love me more than i love me amiright

 **Peter:** that sounds

 **Peter:** very much not like you

 **Peter:** but i like this wave of confidence 

**Harry:** back to your accent kink

 **Peter:** sdufhsfh

 **Peter:** _Harry_

 **Harry:** lmao you’re blushing so hard right now aren’t you

 **Peter:** _you don’t know my life_

 **Peter:** do you wear uniforms?

 **Harry:** smooth, Stark

 **Harry:** this isn’t over

 **Peter:** no it is

 **Peter:** _do you wear uniforms_

 **Harry:** [Harry](https://pin.it/6jUjkx6)

 **Peter:** you wear _glasses?_

 **Harry:** i was too tired to put in contacts 

**Peter:** _okay_

 **Peter:** _cool_

 **Peter:** we don’t

 **Harry:** i figured you didn’t

**_Marcolicious_ **

**Marco:** Où es-tu

 **Harry:** hiding from the wrold

 **Marco:** can i join?

 **Harry:** serez-vous un oreiller?

 **Marco:** oui

 **Harry:** 4th floor bibliothèque

**_Gwenasarus_ **

**Gwen:** are you still breaking the rules?

 **Harry:** i would never

 **Gwen:** you’re a perpetual rebel, Osborn

 **Harry:** excuse you, Stacy

 **Harry:** i am a rule follower only

 **Gwen:** you are the reason rules are made

 **Gwen:** are you, though? 

**Harry:** _maybe_

 **Gwen:**!!!

 **Gwen:** i think this is the most rebellious you’ve ever been

 **Harry:** rude

 **Gwen:** _i’m so proud of you_

 **Harry:** don’t be

 **Gwen:** remember when you talked me into breaking into the American embassy

 **Harry:** _no_

 **Harry:** and if I _did_

 **Harry:** _i wouldn’t text about it_

 **Gwen:** what about the time you rode one of the dinosaurs at the natural history museum

 **Harry:** _why are you sending these_

 **Gwen:** because somehow

 **Gwen:** _this_

 **Gwen:** texting a cute boy you’ve liked since you were fourteen

 **Gwen:** is the _most rebellious_ that you’ve ever been

 **Harry:** it’s probably the one time i’ll actually get in trouble for doing something too

 **Gwen:** that’s sad

 **Gwen:** this is the most _harmless_ thing you’ve done

 **Harry:** Gwen

 **Harry:** he doesn’t even know _we’re_ friends

 **Gwen:** don’t even get me started on that

 **Gwen:** Grandad misses you

 **Harry:** i love him

 **Harry:** my favorite old man

 **Gwen:** come over you wet noodle

 **Harry:** _well i’m not going to now_

 **Gwen:** noooo

 **Gwen:** bring Marco i miss him

 **Harry:** but not me

 **Gwen:** no

 **Gwen:** you’re a dramatic bitch

 **Gwen:** that convinces me to make bad decisions

**Harry:** wanna break into the Louvre

 **Gwen:** _harry no_

 **Harry:** boo you’re basic

 **Gwen:** you will literally go to prison

 **Gwen:** and you’re too _pretty_ to survive in prison

 **Harry:** you’re right

 **Harry:** but may i offer you an option where we _don’t_ get caught?

 **Gwen:** _harry_

 **Harry:** boring

 **Gwen:** lmao ask Peter

 **Harry:** lmao _no_

 **Gwen:** do it

 **Gwen:** i dare you

 **Harry:** what do i get out of it

 **Gwen:** apple cider

 **Harry:** _fuck okay_

**_Friendchips_ **

**Peter:** _it is too early for me to be this way_

 **MJ:** don’t text me

 **Ned:** I’m right next to you? 

**MJ:** also 

**MJ:** i forgot this chat existed ever since you started the one with harley

 **Ned:** yeah why are we in this without Harley

 **Ned:** it feels _weird_

 **MJ:** what are you keeping from your brother, Stark?

 **Peter:** _he’s so pretty dfhsdfsu_

 **Ned:** … Harley?

 **MJ:** disgusting

 **Peter:** Ned _ew_

 **Peter:** that is my brother

 **Peter:** n o thank you

 **MJ:** i mean it’s not like you’re actually related

 **Ned:** ^

 **Peter:** so

 **Peter:** i’ve kinda been texting someone i shouldn’t

 **Ned:** _stranger danger_

 **Peter:** not a stranger

 **Peter:** well

 **Peter:** not really

 **MJ:** out with it, Peter

 **MJ:** who are you talking to

 **MJ:** and why is it a secret?

 **Peter:** promise you won’t tell my dad

 **MJ:** i literally never talk to your father

 **Ned:** if Tony Stark asks me _anything_ you know I’ll _b r e a k_

 **MJ:** it’s true Ned is very easy to break

 **Peter:** i

 **Peter:** sorry Ned

 **Ned:**?

**_Ned has been removed_ **

**MJ:** _savage_

 **Peter:** _I have a massive crush on Harry Osborn_

 **MJ:** we

 **MJ:** i thought you hated him

 **Peter:** _so did i_

 **MJ:** step out of italics jfc

 **MJ:** what brought this on

 **Peter:** i may be

 **Peter:** possibly

 **Peter:** kinda

 **Peter:** texting 

**Peter:** him

 **MJ:** lmao _what_

 **Peter:** it’s a long story

 **Peter:** but MJ

 **Peter:** _he’s so pretty i can’t survive_

 **MJ:** is this what your texts looked like when you were crushing on me

 **MJ:** cuz i gotta tell you, Peter

 **MJ:** it’s a little cute

 **MJ:** and a lot annoying

 **Peter:** he’s so _mean_

**Peter:** but like

 **Peter:** funny mean

 **MJ:** what brought on your text

 **MJ:** and you know Ned’s gonna hack his way back in right

 **Peter:** _yes_

 **Peter:** _he wears a uniform and glasses and_

 **MJ:** where does he even go to school

 **MJ:** oh wait

 **MJ:** internet tells me somewhere in Europe?

 **Peter:** _France_

 **MJ:** lmao

 **MJ:** does he have an accent?

 **Peter:** _in my head he does_

 **MJ:** lmao you’re so fucked

 **Peter:** _i know_

 **Ned:** WHY DID YOU KICK ME OUT 

**Peter:** oop

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Harry:** do you want to break into the Louvre 

**Peter:** i

 **Peter:** _why_

 **Harry:** i am rich and bored

 **Harry:** and have the urge to do bad things

 **Peter:** just 

**Peter:** we could visit

 **Peter:**?

 **Harry:** that would mean you visiting me

 **Harry:** i do not suggest 

**Harry:** i can’t live up to this level of bitch in person

 **Peter:** you don’t even live up to it in text

 **Harry:** i am _offended_

 **Peter:** [Panda](https://pin.it/U78JZ2A)

 **Peter:** _pandas_

 **Harry:** 熊貓

 **Harry:** sorry

 **Harry:** _i’m screaming_

 **Harry:** _i am at dinner and sreacmign_

 **Peter:** omg

 **Peter:** did i cause you to just

 **Peter:** switch languages

 **Harry:** no the panda did

**_The Fam Gang_ **

**IronDad:** Peter stop looking at your phone

 **Harley:** yeah Peter

 **IronMom:** why are you yelling at him for being on his phone when you’re on your phone

 **Peter:** _yeah dad_

 **Nebula:** What would you like me to bring for dinner? 

**IronMom:** yourself

 **IronDad:** Brownies. 

**IronMom:** _Tony_

 **Peter:** _brownies!!!!_

 **Harley:** brownies!

 **IronDad:** Morgan says cake

 **IronDad:** but democracy says brownies

 **Nebula:** cake it is

 **IronDad:** betrayed by my own children

 **IronMom:** cake sounds great, Nebula

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Peter:** who’s your favorite band? 

**Peter:** _shit it’s so late there i’m sorry_

 **Peter:** don’t you dare answer this until tomorrow

**Harry:** it’s not a band but Julien Doré

 **Peter:** _i have no idea who that is_

 **Harry:** why are you up 

**Peter:** adventures

 **Harry:** it’s 2am

 **Peter:** reasons

 **Harry:** you good, Pete?

 **Peter:** i’m good, Har

 **Peter:** what should i listen to by this guy

 **Harry:** i

 **Harry:** Moonlight Serenade

 **Harry:**[Song ](https://youtu.be/m5S0Biytz38)

**Peter:** _harry this will put me to sleep_

 **Harry:** good it’s 2am

 **Harry:** get sleep

 **Peter:** i will

 **Peter:** in like an hour

 **Harry:** don’t you wake up stupid early for school

 **Peter:** _maybe_

 **Harry:** are you an insomniac? 

**Peter:** …

 **Peter:** yes

 **Peter:** that

 **Harry:** that sounds… almost like you’re _not_

 **Peter:** you’ve been getting less mean in your texts

 **Peter:** i like it

 **Harry:** no no i’m still a bitch

 **Harry:** don’t you forget that

 ~~**Harry:** ~~ ~~i just also don’t want to scare you off~~ **[message deleted]**

 **Peter:** oh how could i ever

 **Peter:** you’re not that much of a bitch though

 **Harry:** don’t lie to yourself this way

 **Peter:** lmao never could

 **Harry:** so we have to go to the cafétéria to get desayuno, si?

 **Harry:** unless we wanna go out but we don’t really have time to do that unless it’s the weekend or you wake up stupid early

 **Peter:** _you just switched through so many languages_

 **Peter:** but yeah sure

 **Harry:** French breakfasts are like all bread

 **Harry:** except they decided to make an _American_ breakfast today?

 **Peter:** w… what does that entail?

 **Harry:** heavy food

 **Harry:** like 

**Harry:** bacon, sausage, pancakes, etc

 **Peter:** was it bad? 

**Harry:** _they shouldn’t be trusted with pancakes_

 **Peter:** oh no

 **Harry:** they put _raisins_ in the pancakes

 **Harry:** as the only American at this school I am offended 

**Peter:** who puts raisins in pancakes?!

 **Harry:** apparently the school cooks

 **Peter:** _that is a travesty_

 **Harry:** right?!

**Harry:** i assume you went to bed 

**Harry:** which, good. 

**Harry:** talk to you in the morning, Peter

**Peter:** [Peter](https://pin.it/7eQmxCz)

 **Harry:** i

 **Harry:** good morning

 **Peter:** _Harley sent that_

 **Peter:** i’m sorry my brother is the devil

 **Peter:** bonjour, soleil

 **Peter:** did i get that right? 

**Harry:** attento potrei innamorarmi di te

 **Peter:**?

 **Harry:** nothing

 **Harry:** yeah you got it right

 **Peter:**!!!!

 **Peter:** yay 🙌 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> je me déteste: I hate myself 
> 
> le parole sono difficili: words are hard 
> 
> Où es-tu: where are you? 
> 
> serez-vous un oreiller: will you be a pillow?
> 
> bibliothèque: library
> 
> 熊貓: panda! 
> 
> cafétéria: cafeteria
> 
> Desayuno, si: breakfast, yeah
> 
> bonjour, soleil: good morning, sunshine
> 
> attento potrei innamorarmi di te: careful, I could fall in love with you


	5. Parfait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry Osborn is incapable of being happy all the time apparently. 
> 
> Translations in the end notes!

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Harry:** when is your birthday

 **Peter:** August 10th

 **Peter:** w h y 

**Harry:** it is so early why are you awake

 **Peter:** shhhh

 **Harry:** _Peter it’s 4am_

 **Peter:** _shhhhh_

 **Peter:** when’s your birthday?

 **Harry:** _why don’t you sleep_

 **Peter:** sleep is for the weak

 **Peter:** i am not weak

 **Peter:** and will defeat it

 **Harry:** i

 **Harry:** _hein_

 **Peter:** hein yourself

 **Harry:** Peter that

 **Harry:** that doesn’t even make sense

 **Peter:** too bad so sad

 **Harry:** you have so much _energy_ so early

 **Peter:** you would too if you didn’t sleep

 **Peter:** i live off caffeine, sugar and adrenaline

 **Harry:** why adrenaline?

 **Peter:** dad had a mission last night and just got home

 **Harry:** _oh_

 **Peter:** we’re not going into school tomorrow

 **Peter:** cuz none of us slept

 **Harry:** is it wild your dad is a supereroe

 **Harry:** that’s not the english word

 **Harry:** _what is the english word_

 **Peter:** superhero?

 **Harry:** yes! That!

 **Peter:** lmao

 **Peter:** yeah it’s a little weird

 **Peter:** but he’s still my dad

 **Peter:** so it’s weird only cuz everyone loves him

 **Peter:** and he’s still such a _dork_

 **Harry:** that’s wild

 **Harry:** hey no school though!

 **Harry:** that’s exciting!

 **Peter:** it is!!!!

 **Peter:** i’m so excited to fall behind in chem

 **Harry:** you’re missing a day you won’t fall behind

 **Peter:** you don’t know Midtown

 **Harry:** i almost went to Midtown

 **Peter:** you

 **Peter:** really?

 **Harry:** yeah

 **Harry:** dad almost brought me home for high school to start “training” me for the business

 **Harry:** but decided against it after like three weeks of summer with me

 **Peter:** but

 **Peter:** we could have been in school together

 **Harry:** not today apparently

 **Peter:** _but every other day_

 **Peter:** also

 **Peter:** idk how he could _not_ like spending time with you

 **Harry:** Peter… I’m _annoying_

 **Peter:** oh hey me too

 **Harry:** you’re annoying like a puppy

 **Peter:** whoa way to insult puppies there

 **Harry:** _I’m_ annoying like a fly that keeps buzzing in your ear

 **Peter:** impossible

 **Peter:** refuse to believe it

**Peter:** wait you never answered my question

 **Peter:** _Harry come back_

 **Peter:** when is your birthdayyyyyy

**Harry:** February 29th

 **Peter:** omg

 **Peter:** this means

 **Harry:** no

 **Peter:** _leap b a b y_

 **Harry:** tu es exaspérant

 **Peter:** no you

 **Harry:** go to sleep

 **Harry:** i have class anyway

 **Peter:** _but you’re like technically_

 **Peter:** _only f o u r years old_

 **Harry:** Stark

 **Peter:** Osborn

 **Harry:** ta gueule

 **Peter:** _no you shut up_

 **Harry:** go to bed

 **Peter:** no

 **Harry:** why not?

 **Harry:** is your dad not home yet

 **Peter:** no he is

 **Peter:** he’s sleeping with Morgan on the couch

 **Peter:** i just can’t sleep

 **Harry:** do you need a lullaby

 **Peter:** _no_

 **Peter:** wait 

**Peter:** are you planning on sending me one?

 **Harry:** i can

 **Harry:** if you want

 **Peter:** _and you say you’re not cute_

 **Harry:** smh

 **Harry:** now i hope you get no sleep

 **Peter:** wait no

**_Marcolicious _ **

**Marco:** Harold

 **Harry:** Marco

 **Marco:** avec qui tu textes?

 **Harry:** mon fantôme

 **Marco:** Peter? 

**Harry:** _no_

 **Marco:** tu souris like _that_ when it is Peter

 **Harry:** _slander_

 **Marco:** quel does that one mean

 **Harry:** calomnie

 **Marco:** ah

 **Marco:** oui

 **Marco:** only the truth

 **Harry:** how is it sitting next to Olivia?

 **Marco:** ennuyeux

 **Marco:** she is amoureux with you

 **Harry:** non, merci

 **Marco:** how is Ernesto

 **Harry:** il ne s'est pas douché de la semaine

 **Harry:** je vais le sentir toute la journée

 **Marco:** tragic

 **Harry:** oh i forgot to ask

 **Harry:** Gwen wants us to visit

 **Marco:** oui!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Harry:** on va s'infiltrer dans le Louvre

 **Marco:** Harry _no_

 **Harry:** none of you are any fun

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Peter:** Nebula’s a really good big sister

 **Peter:** and i just

 **Peter:** _i love her so much_

 **Harry:** i’m glad? 

**Peter:** sorry i just feel like everyone should know

 **Peter:** that she is honestly wonderful

 **Harry:** oh

 **Harry:** cool

 **Peter:** it was so random woops

 **Peter:** anyway

 **Peter:** i’m sleeping over her apartment tonight for _bonding_ time

 **Peter:** aka

 **Peter:** Harley accidentally set a lab on fire again

 **Peter:** and the entire house smells 

**Harry:** _wild_

 **Harry:** so the Starks really are just _fuck what is the word_

 **Peter:** amazing? 

**Peter:** attractive? 

**Peter:** the best?

 **Peter:** super smart?

 **Harry:** literally none of those

 **Peter:** excuse you

 **Peter:** i am at least one of those

 **Harry:** yeah but you’re genetically _not_ a Stark

 **Peter:** i

 **Peter:** _did you just call me all of those_

 **Harry:** no 

**Harry:** i called you _at least_ one

 **Peter:** w… which one?

 **Harry:** figure it out

 **Peter:** what are you doing for the weekend? 

**Harry:** Marco and I are going to Londres

 **Peter:** laundry?

 **Harry:** _London_

 **Peter:** that makes so much more sense

 **Peter:** also 

**Peter:** the school just lets you leave on the weekend?

 **Harry:** Marco’s mom is signing us out

 **Harry:** she’s convinced Gwen and I are dating 

**Harry:** and will be a good influence on her good Christian garçon

 **Peter:** gar what?

 **Harry:** boy

 **Peter:** and you and Gwen

 **Harry:** she is my soulmate

 **Peter:** oh

 **Harry:** but hopelessly into women

 **Harry:** and not my type

 **Peter:** what’s your type?

 ~~**Harry:** idiots ~~ **[message deleted]**

 **Harry:** something i can’t have

 **Peter:** i

 **Peter:** that’s 

**Peter:** _deep_

 **Peter:** w… why can’t you have it?

 **Harry:** attentes 

**Peter:**?

 **Harry:** don’t worry about it

 **Harry:** _disasters_

 **Peter:** what?

 **Harry:** _that’s_ the word I was looking for 

**Peter:** jfc Har

 **Harry:** words are hard

 **Peter:** oh mood

 **Peter:** wait

 **Peter:** _i am not a disaster_

 **Harry:** look

 **Harry:** if the dsasiter fits 

**Harry:** _what_

 **Peter:** i

 **Harry:** _how did that look right a minute ago_

 **Peter:** dyslexia is wild

 **Peter:** to see in action that is

 **Harry:** smh

 **Harry:** dios mio

 **Peter:** ay caramba 

**Harry:** Marco wants to adopt a pigeon from London

 **Peter:** let Marco live his best life

 **Harry:** no

 **Peter:** i support Marco

 **Harry:** don’t

 **Peter:** _too late_

 **Harry:** rude

 **Harry:** _i got apple cider_

 **Peter:** awe yay

 **Harry:** [Cider ](https://pin.it/6d5S8Et)

**Peter:** _i want it_

 **Harry:** you would have to fghit me for it

 **Harry:** fight*

 **Peter:** i’d win

 **Harry:** i would die for this apple cider

 **Peter:** i mean

 **Peter:** don’t do _that_

 **Peter:** we have pizza

 **Peter:** [Nebula and pizza](https://pin.it/4Yr00GG)

 **Harry:** oh i forgot you were with your stisre 

**Harry:** _why_

 **Harry:** sister*

 **Peter:** lmao yeah 

**Peter:** Nebula says hi

 **Harry:** i think my dad with ied if he knew i was talkgni with 2 Starks

 **Harry:** _zut_

 **Peter:** oop

 **Peter:** i think my dad would be annoyed but

 **Peter:** get over it

 **Peter:** mom wouldn’t care

 **Harry:** idk, Pete. I think your dad would be more angry than you think

 **Peter:** nah

 **Peter:** he dislikes your father he doesn’t even know you

 **Harry:** guilty by association

 **Peter:** impossible

 **Peter:** how could anyone look at you and dislike you

 **Harry:** i

 **Harry:** idk man i _am_ pretty

 **Peter:** the _ego_

 **Harry:** _tath’s_ the problem

 **Harry:** jfc

 **Harry:** that*

 **Peter:** nah

 **Peter:** no problem there

 **Harry:** _Peter_

 **Peter:** who’s your favorite Avenger?

 **Harry:** Carol Danvers

 **Peter:** Captain Marvel?

 **Harry:** _no Carol Danvers_

 **Harry:** _Captain Carol Danvers_

 **Peter:** Ironman is better

 **Harry:** _what_

 **Peter:** or Thor

 **Peter:** Thor is best

 **Harry:** Carol Danvers could _destroy_ Thor 

**Peter:** yeah probably

 **Peter:** wait

 **Peter:** [Carol](https://pin.it/3vgL3I3)

 **Harry:**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Peter:** are you _fanboying_

 **Harry:** _oh mon dieu je l’aime_

 **Peter:** _oh my god_

 **Harry:** _i love her_

 **Peter:** omg

 **Peter:** do i have permission to send her this

 **Harry:** _you know Carol Danvers?!_

 **Peter:** my dad is literally an Avenger, Har

 **Harry:** _i am mourir_ , Peter

 **Peter:** permission to send? 

**Harry:** _Peter no_

 **Peter:** why not?

 **Harry:** this is so ebmarrainsg 

**Harry:** _so is that word_

 **Peter:** noooo 

**Peter:** it’s cute

 **Peter:** c u t e 

**Harry:** that is _worse_

 **Peter:** i’m going to make you two meet one day

 **Harry:** Pete

 **Peter:** yeah, Har? 

**Harry:** i will cry

 **Peter:** like

 **Peter:** good tears?

 **Harry:** i don’t know yet

 **Peter:** how do you feel about Spider-Man?

 **Harry:** i mean

 **Harry:** he’s cool? I guess?

 **Harry:** dad hates him though

 **Peter:** oh?

 **Harry:** yeah eh destroys a lot of OSCORP property

 **Peter:** i mean

 **Peter:** i’m sure it’s not on purpose

 **Peter:** but a lot of the bad stuff like

 **Peter:** comes _from_ OSCORP

 **Peter:** no offense 

**Harry:** lmoa none taken you’re rihgt

**Peter:** [Peter and Nitro](https://pin.it/ghcxLqJ)

 **Peter:** i love Nebula’s dogggg

 **Harry:** j'aime ton visage

 **Peter:** w… what

 **Harry:** the _dog_

 **Peter:** yes his name is Nitro

 **Harry:** _Notri_

 **Peter:** is that a different language or?

 **Harry:** Ntrio

 **Peter:**?????

 **Peter:** oh wait

 **Peter:** Nitro

 **Peter:** you’re struggling

 **Harry:** ogni giorno

 **Peter:** google translate says that means everyday

 **Peter:** and

 **Peter:** _oof_

 **Peter:** what are you doing up so late?

 **Harry:** parlando con you

 **Harry:** talking to tu

 **Peter:** awe man

 **Peter:** you’re tired aren’t you?

 **Peter:** you’re doing the switchy thing

 **Harry:** non

 **Harry:** i am durnk 

**Harry:** kinda?

 **Peter:** oh 

**Peter:** uhm

 **Peter:** fun?

 **Harry:** no it makes wrods plus dur

 **Peter:** harder?

 **Harry:** oui

 **Peter:** then why are you drinking? 

**Harry:** Gwne spiked the cider

 **Peter:** ooooooh damn

 **Harry:** anyway

 **Harry:** comment est ta soirée

 **Peter:** how’s my night? 

**Harry:** yeh that

 **Peter:** it’s going pretty good

 **Peter:** Nebula and I played video games and ate pizza

 **Peter:** and now i’m cuddling with Nitro until dad picks me up

 **Harry:** je veux être câliné

 **Peter:** you

 **Harry:** you look like a good wpillo

 **Peter:** you type really good for kinda drunk

 **Harry:** thx

 **Harry:** i’m tyring really hrad 

**Harry:** _merde_

 **Peter:** shh you’re doing great

 **Harry:** come stai reale

 **Peter:** i mean

 **Peter:** i was born

 **Harry:** non you’re… 

**Peter:** i’m?

 **Harry:** _parfait_

 **Peter:** a yogurt?

 **Harry:** suhfhs

 **Harry:** lmao omg he’s hopeless

 **Harry:** this is Gwen sorry

 **Harry:** i’m taking Harry’s phone before he sends dangerous company secrets or something

 **Peter:** i

 **Peter:** _okay?_

 **Harry:** he’s really not that drunk he’s just struggling 

**Harry:** he’ll hate me for this but

 **Harry:** [Harry](https://pin.it/6BWLsEf)

 **Peter:** uhm

 **Peter:** w

 **Peter:** _why_

 **Harry:** don’t hurt him, Stark

 **Peter:** _i… don’t plan to?_

 **Harry:** goodnight! We’ll take good care of him. 

**Peter:** goodnight????  
  


**_IronDad_ **

**Dad:** Can you two not hear me beeping? 

**Dad:** Let’s get donuts!

 **Peter:** lmao 

**Peter:** Nebula’s just getting Nitro on his leash

 **Dad:** Did you two have fun? 

**Peter:** Yeah

 **Peter:** Does the apartment still smell? 

**Dad:** Nah all cleaned. Harley owes you a big apology. 

**Peter:** it doesn’t bother normal people

 **Dad:** You’re a normal person, Pete.

 **Dad:** You’re just a little enhanced

 **Dad:** And that’s more than okay

 **Peter:** sfdfoj _okay dad_

 **Peter:** on our way down!

**_The Boss_ **

**Norman Osborn:** I just got your progress report from school. You’re doing pretty good so far - really excelling in your language classes but struggling with Chemistry. Remember, colleges will be looking at your ranking and expecting a 4.0 from an Osborn. I noticed you dropped down to a 3.9. I want that grade picked up by next month. 

**Harry:** I got an _A_ in cehismtry

 **Norman Osborn:** I thought we fixed that problem? Is it reappearing? Harry, you know an A isn’t what I expect from you. 

**Harry:** Chemistry*

 **Harry:** Sorry, it’ll be back up next month. 

**Norman Osborn:** That’s my boy. 

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Harry:** sorry for texting you like that yesterday

 **Harry:** but thanks for putting up wiht it

 **Harry:** with*

**Harry:** [Marco](https://pin.it/5KvMIm8)

 **Harry:** we went out to breakfast 

**Harry:** shit that was a pic of Marco

 **Harry:** lmao i _need_ this coffee like i need air apparently

 **Harry:** [Breakfast ](https://pin.it/1j0dOlO)

**Harry:** _food_

**Harry:** _snack run_

 **Harry:** [Gwen](https://pin.it/1KiRAl9)

 **Harry:** i love London jsut because it has food i only can get at home

 **Harry:** that’s Gwen btw 

**Harry:** sorry for the spam 

**Harry:** this is the most i’ve ever texted you in one go _woops_

 **Harry:** shfushdf

 **Harry:** lo siento

**Peter:** oh hey

 **Harry:** oh _hey_

 **Peter:** how are you feeling today?

 **Harry:** better after eating

 **Peter:** text me all the time i literally have no complaints

 **Harry:** no that was a one time thing, Stark

 **Peter:** nooo 

**Peter:** i liked waking up to texts from you

 **Harry:** i

 **Peter:** is parfait just a yogurt?

 **Harry:** it means perfect 

**Peter:** _oh_

 **Harry:** why? 

**Peter:** no reason

 **Peter:** just curious

 **Peter:** Ты такая красивая

 **Harry:** you know Russian?

 **Peter:** no

 **Peter:** but Nat helped

 **Harry:** i don’t know that one yet

 **Peter:** let me know when you do

 **Harry:** i

 **Harry:** _okay?_

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hein - uh?
> 
> supereroe - superhero
> 
> tu es exaspérant - you are exasperating 
> 
> ta gueule - shut up
> 
> Avec qui tu textes? - who are you texting? 
> 
> mon fantôme - my ghost
> 
> tu souris - you smile
> 
> calomnie - slander
> 
> ennuyeux - annoying 
> 
> amoureux - in love 
> 
> non, merci - no, thank you
> 
> Il ne s'est pas douché de la semaine- he hasn't showered all week 
> 
> Je vais le sentir toute la journée - I'm going to smell it all day
> 
> on va s'infiltrer dans le Louvre - we're going to break into the Louvre
> 
> Londres - London
> 
> garçon - boy
> 
> attentes - expectations
> 
> dios mio - my god
> 
> zut - damn 
> 
> oh mon dieu je l’aime - oh my god, I love her 
> 
> mourir - dying 
> 
> j'aime ton visage - I love your face 
> 
> ogni giorno - everyday
> 
> parlando con you - talking to you 
> 
> plus dur - harder
> 
> Comment est ta soirée - how's your night? 
> 
> je veux être câliné - I want to cuddle
> 
> merde - shit
> 
> come stai reale - how are you real? 
> 
> parfait - perfect 
> 
> lo siento - I'm sorry
> 
> Ты такая красивая - you are so beautiful


	6. Art

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is useless lmao
> 
> I have an over reliance on Google Translate 
> 
> I also am NOT dyslexic and hope I am correctly presenting the struggle.
> 
> Translations at the bottom!

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Harry:** the most annoying thing about Erupoaen travelling is shopping for clthoes 

**Harry:** European* clothes*

 **Harry:** smh

 **Peter:** oo worm?

 **Harry:** yes worm

 **Harry:** all the worm

 **Harry:** literally every single worm

 **Peter:** that sounds fun

 **Peter:** are you shopping for clothes right now?

 **Harry:** no because it’s one in the morning, Peter

 **Peter:** usdfs

 **Peter:** well shit Har

 **Peter:** why are you awake

 **Harry:** i’m trying to find Gwen a cadeau d'anniversaire

 **Peter:** is it Gwen’s birthday?

 **Harry:** like next week

 **Peter:** i mean idk decide later

 **Harry:** no i need to decide now

 **Peter:** why

 **Harry:** i have my reasons

 **Peter:** like?

 **Harry:** because i’m _stubborn_

 **Harry:** and want to do it _now_

 **Peter:** lmao okay then

 **Harry:** wait

 **Harry:** _you understood my French_

 **Peter:** google

 **Peter:** it’s real helpful when I’m trying to understand you, Osborn

 **Harry:** _google should burn in hell_

 **Peter:** such passion

 **Peter:** do you apply it to anything else in your life?

  
 **Harry:** death

 **Peter:** sdhushfd _what_

 **Harry:** that was a bad joke woop

 **Harry:** have i ever told you about _art_

 **Peter:** art?

 **Harry:** i fucking love art

 **Harry:** if i could marry art i would

 **Peter:** i see

 **Peter:** tell me more

 **Harry:** i don’t really have anything else to tell

 **Harry:** art is just great

 **Peter:** do you _do_ art?

 **Harry:** lmao like dad would let me

 **Peter:** i?

 **Peter:** why wouldn’t your dad let you?

 **Harry:** because it’s not “ceo appropriate”

 **Peter:** you’re not the CEO

 **Harry:** but i will be one day and that’s enough for dad

 **Harry:** lo siento 

**Harry:** i’ve had a rough day

 **Peter:** do you need to talk about it?

 **Harry:** honestly no

 **Harry:** i’d rather a distraction

 **Peter:** okay

 **Peter:** did i ever tell you about the time Harley and i played hide and seek with Morgan

 **Peter:** and lost her in the woods?

 **Harry:** you’re the best borhters ever

 **Harry:** _fuck_

 **Harry:** brothers*

 **Peter:** we really are though 

**Peter:** how nice of you to think so too

 **Harry:** lmoa just tell the sotry, Pete

 **Peter:** _calm thy titties_

 **Harry:** fdsuhfs

 **Harry:** _Peter_

 **Peter:** hahahahahahahahahaha

 **Peter:** oh god

 **Peter:** how red is your face right now

 **Harry:** red as a tomate

 **Peter:** _omg you’re so cute_

 **Harry:** fuck you Stark

 ~~ **Peter:** _okay_~~ **[message deleted]**

 ~~ **Peter:** _not yet, Osborn_~~ **[message deleted]**

 **Peter:** you love it 

**Harry:** dites-moi l'histoire

 **Peter:** demanding

 **Harry:** i am a sopilde rich boy

 **Harry:** _what is that wrod_

 **Harry:** rwod *

 **Harry:** _what is hpapnegin_

 **Peter:** this is beautiful

 **Harry:** why do you hate me

 **Peter:** boohoo

 **Peter:** i could never hate you

 **Harry:** stop _pckiing on em_

 **Harry:** _wyh does this keep heppaning_

 **Peter:** oop rip

 **Harry:** la lutte est réelle

 **Peter:** are you

 **Peter:** _struggle bugging_

 **Harry:** why would you call it that

 **Peter:** because 

**Peter:** it’s _cuter_

 **Peter:** and you’re cute so

 **Peter:** ergo

 **Peter:** _struggle bug_

 **Harry:** i

 **Harry:** what is the _story_ , Stark

 **Peter:** oh shit the story

 **Peter:** okay

 **Peter:** so we were like… fifteen?

 **Peter:** well _i_ was 15, Harley was 16

 **Peter:** anyway Morgan was like _two_ and mom and dad had to go into the office real quick

 **Peter:** idk why but whatever

 **Peter:** so Morgan wanted to play hide and seek

 **Peter:** and i thought Harley was the seeker

 **Peter:** and he thought _i_ was the seeker

 **Harry:** wait like Harry Potter?   
****

**Peter:** what?

 **Harry:** _seeker_?

 **Peter:** _Harry_

 **Peter:** you need to sleep

 **Harry:** shh no kepe takling 

**Harry:** _sigh_

 **Harry:** keep talking*

 **Peter:** you don’t have to keep correcting yourself you know

 **Harry:** i can’t just _not_ crroect my mstaikes 

**Harry:** _mistakes*_

 **Peter:** they’re not really mistakes though, Har

 **Peter:** like 

**Peter:** it’s not like you can _control_ where the letters look like they are

 **Harry:** i mean

 **Peter:** no

 **Peter:** don’t be mean to yourself

 **Peter:** please

 **Peter:** at least not to me

 **Harry:** i

 **Harry:** d’accord

 **Peter:** i will assume that is agreement

 **Peter:** so carrying on with the story

 **Peter:** _without the self depreciation this time, Harold_

 **Harry:** _fuck okay, Peter_

 **Peter:** so we all thought we were seeking each other when really _Morgan_ was the seeker

 **Harry:** _the two yrea old_

 **Peter:** si senior

 **Harry:** _Peter_

 **Peter:** yeah i know

 **Peter:** so we’re both hiding

 **Peter:** and no one finds us 

**Peter:** _cuz she’s two_

 **Harry:** your mom brguoht her to a buseniss thing last summer and we plyaed with cars together

 **Harry:** she’s pretty mignonne

 **Peter:** i’ll have you know that i am _cuter_

 **Harry:** i mean

 **Harry:** _obviuosly_

 **Peter:** so after like half an hour i decide to just give up

 **Peter:** like i must have won _right_

 **Peter:** only like… _i didn’t_

 **Harry:** where were you hdiing 

**Harry:** _hiding*_

 **Peter:** stop that

 **Peter:** and up on the ledge above the stairs

 **Harry:** _how_

 **Peter:** i’m 

**Peter:** really good at climbing

 **Harry:** oh?

 **Peter:** yep

 **Peter:** anyway

 **Harry:** wait come bcka 

**Peter:** i literally never left

 **Harry:** why do you like clmibnig

 **Harry:** _climingb_

 **Harry:** _c l i m b i n g_

 **Peter:** why do you like correcting yourself 

**Harry:** l’ habitude

 **Peter:** why is it a habit?

 **Harry:** i’m not used to yuo looking up wrods 

**Peter:** i’m not going to apologize

 **Harry:** lmao don’t

 **Harry:** it makes my life esaire

 **Harry:** _e a s i e r_

 **Peter:** how many time do i have to remind you that i don’t need you to fix those?

 **Harry:** probably the rest of our natural lives

 **Harry:** _how did i sepll taht but not t h i s w h o l e s e n t e n c e_

 **Peter:** i hate that you made me laugh there

 **Harry:** ha!

 **Peter:** rude

 **Harry:** fiinsh l'histoire?

 **Peter:** _why are you still awake_

 **Harry:** i haven’t found Gwne’s persnt yet

 **Peter:** don’t

 **Peter:** _stop typing out a correction Osborn_

 **Harry:** that is the fastest yuo’ev ever typed 

**Peter:** mwahahahaha

 **Peter:** so 

**Peter:** shit where was i

 **Peter:** so i jump down and like almost land on Harley

 **Peter:** who was hiding in a pile of laundry next to the couch

 **Harry:** _waht_

 **Peter:** but i _course correct_ in the end and _don’t_ which is _tragic_

 **Peter:** it would have been funnier if I did

 **Peter:** but that’s like when we notice neither of us were watching Magoo

 **Peter:** and _start to panic_

 **Peter:** so she’s not in the house

 **Harry:** you call her Magoo and it is aoradble

 **Harry:** f u c k d y s l e x i a 

**Peter:** _you’re adorable_

 **Peter:** and Harley’s like

 **Peter:** “what if she’s _outside_ ”

 **Peter:** and she was

 **Peter:** just wandering the woods

 **Harry:** wiat don’t you live in the ctiy

 **Peter:** oh yeh

 **Peter:** we have a summer house upstate though

 **Harry:** continuer

 **Peter:** i mean

 **Peter:** that’s really it

 **Peter:** i climbed a tree to find her but she wasn’t far in it

 **Peter:** was just walking around calling for us like we were still playing

 **Peter:** she _thankfully_ doesn’t remember

 **Peter:** and mom and dad never found out

 **Harry:** how 

**Peter:** hmm?

 **Harry:** how did they not find out

 **Peter:** _secrets and bribes_

 **Harry:** ipmressvie 

**Harry:** sufsdhgusdg

 **Peter:** thank you I aim to impress

**Peter:** you stopped answering

 **Peter:** good

 **Peter:** i hope that means you’re asleep now

 **Peter:** since it’s like 2am

 **Peter:** goodnight, Harry

 **Peter:** talk to you later today

 **Peter:** tomorrow?

 **Peter:** _time zones are wild man_

**_Friendchips_ **

**Ned:**!!!!

 **Ned:** you’re on the news!

 **MJ:** no i’m at home

 **Ned:** you know i didn’t mean you, MJ

 **Ned:** _Peter!_

 **Peter:** hmm yes?

 **Peter:** i was summoned out of the abys

 **MJ:** you’re acting _weird_ , Peter

 **Peter:** i’m always weird, MJ   
****

**MJ:** how’s your secret

 **Ned:** _Spider-Man is on the news!!!!!_ _  
_ ****

**Peter:** wait i am?

 **Peter:** he is?

 **Peter:** fusdhfsdf

 **MJ:** you’re lucky the two of us literally already know

 **Peter:** _i never told you_

 **Ned:** oh

 **Ned:** uhm

 **MJ:** You’re both idiots

 **Peter:** i mean

 **Peter:** i’m sure you’re right

 **Peter:** why am i in the news?

 **Ned:** the Bugle

 **Peter:** ew

 **Peter:** fuck Jamison

 **MJ:** you took the picture

 **Peter:** well

 **Peter:** _he pays_

 **Ned:** dude

 **Ned:** your dad is literally one of the richest men on earth

 **Ned:** compared to like

 **Ned:** only Norman Osborn

 **Peter:** _i hate that guy_

 **MJ:** are you just practicing that?   
****

**Peter:** no!

 **Peter:** i really do hate him

 **Peter:** he’s terrible

 **Peter:** and _creepy_

 **Ned:** he’s sooooo smart though

 **Peter** : he tried to sue dad over a patent 

**Peter:** and _then_ tried to sue Spider-Man for stealing his “formula” after one of his spiders bit me

 **MJ:** not to mention unethical business practices

 **MJ:** hey did you see the interview in Business Today?

 **Ned:** of Norman? Ugh I loved it

 **Peter:** no?

 **Peter:** dad has a strict No Osborns ban

 **MJ:** you should look at it

 **Peter:** why?

 **Ned:** i mean it talks about the research OSCORP is doing into unzipping DNA and 

**MJ:** trust me, Stark

 **MJ:** i’ll bring my copy to school tomorrow

 **Peter:** but like

 **Ned:** prosthetics and shit

 **Peter:** _why_

 **MJ:** do you really want me to do this here?

 **Ned:** wait what are you two talking about

 **Peter:** Ned

 **Ned:** what?

**_Peter kicked out Ned_ **

**MJ:** lmao you’re terrible for a best friend

 **MJ:** [Harry](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842650774535/)

 **Peter:** _oh my fucking god_

**_MJ added Ned to the chat_ **

**Ned:** !!!!!!!   
**Ned:** WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THAT

 **MJ:** because you’re terrible at secrets

 **Ned:** WHY ARE YOU KEEPING SECRETS

 **Peter:** _dsufghdsghdsghgdsgihdguihsg_

 **MJ:** Peter’s just having a bi panic

 **Peter:** _o h m y g o d_

 **MJ:** you’re welcome

 **Ned:** wait who do you have a crush on?

 **Peter:** _i’m going to go die_

 **MJ:** cool have fun

 **Ned:**!!!! Tell meeeee

**_Stark Sibling Chat_ **

**Harley:** stop screaming

 **Peter:** _sghsduighsdiuhgdshguidshg_

 **Nebula:** Who broke Peter?

 **Harley:** _Osborn_

 **Nebula:** Oh. 

**Peter:** why the .

 **Nebula:** It’s the end of a statement. 

**Peter:** _it’s so aggressive_

 **Harley:** yeah Nebs why so _aggressive_

 **Nebula:** Are you fond of your fingers working, Harley?

 **Harley:** i mean

 **Nebula:** Call me that again and you won’t have working fingers.

 **Harley:** _why do you hate me_

 **Peter:** booooooo

 **Harley:** _stop screaming, Peter Benjamin_

 **Peter:** _make me Harley Joseph_

 **Nebula:** I’m going to go back to ignoring you two. 

**Nebula:** Oh, Peter… good job with Rhino yesterday. 

**Peter:** thanks!!!!!!!!

 **Harley:** why do you never tell me I did a good job

 **Nebula:** Good job not blowing up the lab today, Harley.

 **Harley:** _i am soft now_

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Harry:** [art](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842650926869/)

 **Harry:** _a r t_

**Harry:** [Cheburashka](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_sHEhPTiFs)

 **Harry:** this song has been stuck in my head _all day_

 **Harry:** _and i want a Cheburashka_

**Harry:** i just watched Marco chase after three herons in the courtyard 

**Harry:** after i told him we could keep one if he caught it

 **Harry:** and he honestly almost caught one i am s h o o k

 **Harry:** did i use that right? 

**Harry:** lmao what is American slang

 **Harry:** what is _slang_

**Peter:** buenos dias sol

 **Harry:** buenos dias perrito

 **Peter:** _i am not a puppy_

 **Harry:** prove me wrong

 **Peter:** [Peter](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842650191831/)

 **Peter:** i am b o y

 **Harry:** all i see is _puppy_

 **Peter:** rude

 **Harry:** oh no 

**Harry:** my fragile ego

 **Peter:** psh 

**Peter:** that’s just _ruder_

 **Harry:** more rude*

 **Peter:** you know what Osborn

 **Harry:** no _what_

 **Peter:** Ты луч солнца в пасмурный день

 **Harry:** you don’t even _speak_ Russian

 **Peter:** my aunt does

 **Harry:** aunt?

 **Peter:** Nat

 **Peter:** auntie Nat

 **Harry:** _the Black Widow sdghsduhgdsgh_

 **Peter:** you’re obsessed with my aunts

 **Peter:** and it’s weird

 **Harry:** no

 **Peter:** no?

 **Harry:** sono ossessionato da te

 **Peter:** my dad speaks fluent Italian you know

 **Harry:** yeah but if you ask him then you have to admit you’re talking to an Osborn

 **Peter:** _by jove you’re right_

 **Harry:** by jove?   
****

**Harry:** how old are you?

 **Peter:** _older than you_

 **Harry:** i had that coming

 **Peter:** one: _that song is stuck in my head now shugdshg_

 **Harry:** i just got it _out_ dsughsdughs

 **Peter:** two: _let Marco live his life as the bird man he wants to be_

 **Harry:** _fuck non_

 **Peter:** three: **_a r t_ **

**Harry:** wait you like it?

 **Peter:** it’s really good

 **Harry:**!!!!!

 **Peter:** who did it?

 **Peter:** wait

 **Peter:** _did you do it_

 **Harry:**!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Peter:** _oh my god_

 **Harry:** i hate it

 **Peter:** no omg

 **Peter:** _Harry_

 **Peter:** I thought you just _liked_ art

 **Peter:** you didn’t say you _did art_

 **Harry:** i mean

 **Harry:** i don’t

 **Peter:** you’re right

 **Peter:** because you _are art_

 **Harry:** i

 **Harry:** _Peter_

 **Peter:** this is _so good_

 **Harry:** grazie 

**Peter:** i love it

 **Peter:** you should hang it up

 **Harry:** i already threw it out lmao

 **Peter:** noooooo

 **Peter:** why

 **Harry:** i can’t _art_

 **Peter** : _Harry_

 **Peter:** okay listen i have to go to class but

 **Peter:** this isn’t over, okay? 

**Peter:** you’re really good

 **Harry:** have a good class, Pete

 **Peter:** _we’re talking about this later_

 **Harry:** byyyyyeeeee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cadeau d'anniversaire - birthday present
> 
> tomate - tomato
> 
> dites-moi l'histoire - tell me the story
> 
> la lutte est réelle - the fight is real
> 
> d’accord - okay
> 
> si senior - yes sir
> 
> mignonne - cute
> 
> l’ habitude - the habit
> 
> l'histoire - the story
> 
> buenos dias sol - good morning, sunshine
> 
> buenos dias perrito - good morning, puppy
> 
> Ты луч солнца в пасмурный день - You are a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day 
> 
> sono ossessionato da te - I am obsessed with you
> 
> grazie - thank you


	7. Sick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry is a sad boy and this story is not nearly as funny as I wanted it to be. 
> 
> Translations at the bottom! Shout out to Ririfiction and Killianne for their suggestions on the French translations and pointing me in the direction of a better translation site. You're both angels and I adore you.

**_IronDad_ **

**Dad:** DinoPete

**Peter:** DinoDad

**Dad:** Dino nugget date with my favorite dino? 

**Peter:** but then you’d have to eat by  _ yourself _

**Peter:** _ tragic _

**Dad:** My kids are so mean. 

**Peter:** lmao

**Peter:** _ of course i’ll have a dino nug date with you, dinodad _

**Dad:** Well maybe I want to have it with Harley now. 

**Peter:** Harley’s meaner though

**Dad:** You have a good point, Stark

**Peter:** do you ever feel like you’re talking to yourself?

**Dad:** _ Every day _ . 

**Peter:** probably because you are

**Dad:** Do you remember when you were too scared to talk back? 

**Peter:** you trained me out of it

**Dad:** And every day I ask myself  _ why _ . 

**Peter:** because you  _ l o v e m e  _

**Dad:** Come out of your room, Spider-kid and watch whatever stupid cartoon Morgan wants to watch with us. 

**Peter:** sdgsdhf

**Peter:** Spider- _ Man _

**Dad:** Peter. 

**Dad:** I haven’t seen you all week. I miss my kid. 

**Peter:** _ i’m coming  _

**Peter:** only if there’s dino mac and cheese though

**Dad:** Like Morgan will let us have anything else. 

**Peter:** !!!!!

**Peter:** omw

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Peter:** we’re stupidly rich

**Peter:** but if one of us kids requests dino nuggets 

**Peter:** dad will still go to the store to get them

**Peter:** and the $2 Kraft dino mac and cheese to match

**Harry:** quoi?

**Peter:** what are you confused about?

**Peter:** dino nuggets are the best

**Harry:** are they… made out of dinosaurs?

**Peter:** _ what _

**Peter:** Harry

**Harry:** ???   
****

**Peter:** _ chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs _

**Harry:** oh

**Harry:** i’ve never had those

**Peter:** this is a  _ travesty _

**Harry:** lmao

**Harry:** we had a chef growing up 

**Harry:** Ricardo 

**Harry:** he made really good hemomeda nuggets 

**Harry:** homemade*

**Peter:** _ what did we talk about Osborn _

**Harry:** i don’t want to htikn 

**Harry:** htnki*

**Harry:** _ t h i n k  _

**Peter:** you good there, Har?

**Harry:** oui

**Harry:** wiat why are yuo having nuggets so late

**Peter:** i mean

**Peter:** i’m having left overs in bed shh

**Peter:** but dad, Morgan and i had them for dinner 

**Peter:** and watched Aristocats

**Harry:** Pete

**Peter:** yes Har

**Harry:** il est deux heures du matin

**Peter:** don’t  _ judge me _ Osborn

**Peter:** what class are you in right now?

**Harry:** none

**Peter:** oh!

**Peter:** day off?

**Harry:** unntientoinal 

**Harry:** unintentional*

**Peter:** _ Harry _

**Harry:** w h a t

**Peter:** stop

**Harry:** i don’t know h o w 

**Peter:** try?

**Harry:** _ j’essaie _

**Peter:** am i being annoying?

**Harry:** no

**Peter:** i can stop telling you to stop

**Harry:** you’re good 

**Harry:** i’m just 

**Harry:** _ me _

**Peter:** ~~ perfect  ~~ **[message deleted]**

**Peter:** if i’m fine so are you, Har

**Peter:** why aren’t you in class?

**Harry:** i might be sick

**Peter:** oh no

**Peter:** might be?

**Peter:** wait 

**Peter:** how does that work in boarding school

**Harry:** i got snet back to the dorm 

**Harry:** and ma in bed 

**Peter:** get lots of water!

**Peter:** do you just feel icky?

**Harry:** i have tea

**Peter:** ew  _ leaf water _

**Harry:** lmao tu es ridicule 

**Peter:** _ you’re ridiculous _

**Harry:** why are you up now

**Peter:** the world is quiet and i love it

**Harry:** fiar

**Peter:** what did you mean by you  _ might _ be sick

**Harry:** i mean

**Harry:** _ idk _

**Peter:** oh  _ honey _

**Harry:** dshfusdf don’t  _ oh honey _ me

**Peter:** you’re all aloneeeee

**Peter:** i hate being alone when i’m not feeling good

**Harry:** i’m not alone

**Peter:** is Marco there too?

**Harry:** no he’s in class

**Harry:** i meant i’m not alone 

**Harry:** cuz i have you 

**Peter:** _ well now i can’t go to bed _

**Harry:** psh no 

**Harry:** we can’t  _ btho  _ be msierblea

**Harry:** _ zut _

**Peter:** i can’t just leave you  _ alone _

**Harry:** it’s two in the morning Pete

**Harry:** you need sleep

**Peter:** psh

**Peter:** sleep is for the weak

**Peter:** oop brb 

**Harry:** oaky?

**Harry:** _ okay?* _

**Harry:** _ oaky  _ like  _ what even  _

**Harry:** yes Peter be very  _ okay _

**Harry:** you know  _ waht dyslexia _

**Harry:** did you fall asleep?

**Harry:** i hope you fell asleep

**Harry:** and like

**Harry:** nothing else happened

**Harry:** i’m  _ bored _

**Harry:** [art](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842650926871/)

**Harry:** this is the olny thing i’ve done todya

**Peter:** ART!!!

**Peter:** i love it

**Peter:** omg

**Harry:** why are you  _ wwake _

**Harry:** _ w h y  _

**Harry:** _ a w a k e  _

**Peter:** shhh

**Peter:** Har this is wonderful omg

**Harry:** i took art like once

**Harry:** at like  Musée d'Orsay in Paris

**Harry:** and the lady taht tuahgt the lcassse teaches my Russian class rehe

**Harry:** _ Va te faire foutre dyslexie _

**Peter:** did you

**Peter:** _ did you really _

**Peter:** just cuss out dyslexia?

**Harry:** it needs to  _ die in a horrible acciendt _

**Harry:** _ mother fucker _

**Peter:** you poor panda

**Peter:** just

**Peter:** constantly struggle bugging

**Harry:** _ i am not a bug _

**Peter:** know one of my constant frustrations?

**Harry:** me

**Peter:** literally never

**Peter:** that people call spiders insects

**Peter:** _ spiders are arachnids not insects _

**Harry:** okay uhm

**Harry:** _ go off i guess _

**Harry:** w… was that right?

**Peter:** lmao yes

**Peter:** can i rant?

**Harry:** mhmmmm

**Peter:** arachnids have two body segments

**Peter:** eight legs

**Peter:** no wings or antennae 

**Peter:** and can’t chew

**Peter:** _ insects _ have  _ six _ legs

**Peter:** three main body parts

**Peter:** _ most _ have wings

**Peter:** _ spiders are not insects they are arachnids _

**Harry:** spiders are found everywhere  _ but _ Antarctica 

**Peter:** honestly i hate spiders

**Harry:** do you also hate Spider-Man?

**Peter:** yeh he’s a dick

**Harry:** _ well then _

**Harry:** who’s  _ your _ favorite Avenger?

**Peter:** T h o r 

**Peter:** could break me and i’d be happy

**Harry:** fair

**Harry:** fav fictional hero?

**Peter:** uh

**Peter:** Superman?

**Harry:** _ ew _ pourquoi

**Peter:** Green Lantern?

**Harry:** we can’t be friends

**Peter:** sdfidjf

**Peter:** no why

**Peter:** Harryyyyyyyyyyyy nooooooo

**Peter:** don’t leave me like this

**Harry:** educate yourself bitch

**Peter:** educate me?

**Harry:** no

**Peter:** _ s’il vous plaît, panda? _

**Harry:** _ h o w _

**Peter:** _ i have discovered your ways, Osborn _

**Harry:** wild

**Harry:** why do you keep calling me panda

**Peter:** because you’re a p a n d a

**Harry:** _ o kay _

**Peter:** is it okay?

**Harry:** _ oui, chiot _

**Peter:** yayyyy

**Peter:** so you’ll teach me heroes?

**Harry:** superman is lame

**Peter:** why do you like Nightwing so much?

**Harry:** i

**Harry:** when i was a kid i read him as Robin, oui?

**Harry:** and idk it was  _ nice _ to see a kid as a hero

**Peter:** but he’s not Robin anymore?

**Harry:** non

**Harry:** he’s…  _ better _ ?

**Harry:** idk he grew out of a bad situation into something  _ wonderful _

**Harry:** i have a lot of emotions

**Harry:** sorry this is boring

**Peter:** no it’s not

**Peter:** god who told you that what you enjoy is dumb?

**Peter:** it’s so…  _ heartbreaking _ that you think so

**Harry:** CEOs aren’t supposed to be into this stuff

**Peter:** mom’s a CEO

**Peter:** and is  _ really _ into video games

**Peter:** like you wouldn’t think so looking at her but she is

**Harry:** your mom is… elle est différente

**Peter:** not that much

**Harry:** wiat it’s 5am why are you still up

**Peter:** don’t worry about it

**Harry:** _ Peter _

**Peter:** shh

**Peter:** wait i completely skipped over what you said about your old art teacher

**Peter:** she teaches your Russian classes now?

**Harry:** si

**Harry:** Miss Madison

**Peter:** awe

**Peter:** that’s cool

**Peter:** what are the odds right?

  
**Harry:** ngl i took Russian for her

**Peter:** that’s adorable

**Harry:** yeee 

**Harry:** she’s wonderful

**Peter:** like you?

**Harry:** sdgfjg

**Harry:** _ no _

**Peter:** are you feeling any better?

**Harry:** je me sens mal

**Peter:** awe man

**Peter:** have you eaten today?   
****

**Harry:** no

**Harry:** food is rude and i hate it

**Peter:** _ Harry _

**Harry:** i keep getting sick

**Harry:** _ i don’t want food _

**Peter:** soup!

**Harry:** i’d have to go down to the caf and i don’t wanna move

**Peter:** oh no

**Harry:** wait Marco said he’s bringing me some

**Harry:** he’s gonna make me eat

**Peter:** good

**Peter:** if he didn’t i would

**Harry:** don’t you have school yourself?   
****

**Peter:** in like an hour

**Harry:** booo 

**Peter:** i hear that

**Peter:** i have decathlon too 

**Harry:** n e r d

**Peter:** like you’re not

**Harry:** i’m at least a pretty nerd

**Peter:** i mean

**Peter:** facts

**Harry:** _ fuck _

**Peter:** ?

**Harry:** dad’s calling

**Harry:** fuck fuck  _ fuck _

**Peter:** i

**Peter:** why is that bad?

**Peter:** Harry?

**_Incoming call from Boss Man_ **

“Hello?” 

“Harry. Why aren’t you in class?”

“Good morning, father.” 

“Harold Theopolis if you’re skipping class-.” 

“I’m  _ sick _ .” 

“Do not interrupt me, you know better.” 

“Sorry.” 

“How sick are you?” 

“I…”  _ A door opens and closes in the background and a soft, low voice sounds in greeting _ . 

“Harold.” 

“Désolé, Marco just got back.” 

“English.” 

“Sorry… uhm… I got sick first period and the…” 

“I don’t have all day, Harry.” 

“I can’t think of the word.”  _ The same voice from before, Marco’s, echoes in the background with the word Harry was looking for _ . 

“Nurse, sorry, the nurse told me to go back to the room.” 

“You have a Chemistry test today.” 

“I know. I already emailed Mister Tresole to retake it.” 

“Good.”  _ A pause as Norman climbs into his car. _ “I want you back in class tomorrow, Harry. I don’t pay for this school for you to slack off.” 

“Yes, Father.” 

“If you’re still sick and have a fever, have the nurse call me and we’ll discuss options then.” 

“Okay. Thank you.” 

“Tell me next time.” 

“I will, sorry.”  _ Harry takes a deep breath, and the bed creeks as Marco sits down beside him _ . “Love you.” 

“Goodbye, Harry. Make me proud.” 

**_Call disconnected._ **

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Harry:** sorry

**Harry:** you’re probably in class now

**Harry:** have uh… have fun

**Harry:** Marco brought me soup

**Harry:** [soup](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842650935124/)

**Harry:** and  _ homework _

**Harry:** i only want one of those

**Harry:** and it’s not the soup

**Harry:** Miss Madison snet Marco with a sketchbook i

**Harry:** i  _ might _ cry

**Harry:** fuck i’m annoying today désolé

**Peter:** [Panda](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842650935365/)

**Harry:** !!!!!!!!!

**Peter:** you’re not annoying 

**Peter:** and that soup looks delicious

**Peter:** also Marco is precious tell him thank you from me

**Harry:** dshgusdhg  _ why _

**Peter:** for being there when i’m not

**Peter:** i feel like you need a hug

**Peter:** just like

**Peter:** a nice  _ long _ hug

**Harry:** i

**Harry:** i could use one ngl

**Peter:** for some reason that’s  _ sadder _

**Peter:** hey can i ask you something

**Harry:** always

**Peter:** is your dad…  _ mean _ to you?   
****

**Harry:** i mean

**Harry:** no?

**Harry:** he’s just… il est compliqué

**Harry:** why?

**Peter:** idk you just 

**Peter:** didn’t seem happy when he called

**Harry:** why would i be?

**Peter:** idk he’s your dad

**Peter:** i like to talk to my dad

**Harry:** your dad’s different

**Peter:** i guess

**Peter:** sorry i just worry 

**Peter:** it’s part of who i am

**Harry:** i’m okay, Pete

**Harry:** don’t worry about me 

**Peter:** i worry about anyone i care about

**Harry:** you care about me?   
****

**Peter:** i mean

**Peter:** why else would i still be talking to you?

  
**Harry:** my charming personality ofc

**Peter:** ofc

**_Stark Sibling Chat_ **

**Peter:** can i 

**Nebula:** Can you…?

**Harley:** what’s up broski

**Harley:** you sent that like ten minutes ago and said nothing else?   
****

**Peter:** it’s stupid

**Nebula:** Peter, nothing you have to say will be stupid. 

**Harley:** i mean she’s not  _ wrong _

**Peter:** is dad ever…  _ mean _ to you?

**Harley:** what?

**Harley:** was dad mean to  _ you _

**Nebula:** Mean how? 

**Peter:** just…

**Peter:** ugh

**Peter:** it’s not normal to freak out when you get a call from your dad right?

**Nebula:** That depends on if you did something wrong. 

**Harley:** ^

**Harley:** i don’t  _ dislike _ talking to dad

**Harley:** but if i did something wrong i don’t want him to call me

**Peter:** what if you did nothing wrong though

**Nebula:** Peter, what is this about?

**Peter:** a friend 

**Peter:** i just

**Peter:** i think they’re really sad 

**Peter** : and i don’t know how to make it better

**Harley:** it’s not your job to make everything better for everyone, Peter

**Nebula:** What Harley said. But also… sometimes what people  _ need _ is to know that you’re there. 

**Peter:** i’m trying

**Nebula:** Who is this friend? 

**Peter:** Harry

**Harley:** Osborn?

**Nebula:** It makes sense. 

**Harley:** that he’s sad? 

**Nebula:** And that Peter wants to save him. 

**Peter:** i’m  _ right here _

**Harley:** sorry i’m just shocked

**Harley:** he doesn’t seem sad

**Peter:** neither do you when you are

**Harley:** true

**Peter:** idk i just

**Peter:** he says things sometimes and

**Peter:** i worry

**Nebula:** That’s because you care. 

**Nebula:** Just be there for him and I’m sure you’ll be helping more than you think you are.

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Peter:** are you feeling any better?

**Harry:** he is sleeping 

**Peter:** ?

**Harry:** désolé, this is Marco

**Peter:** oh?

**Peter:** do Harry’s friends  _ commonly _ text on his phone

**Harry:** he fell asleep

**Harry:** told me to text when you did 

**Peter:** w… why?

**Harry:** he did not want you to worry

**Peter:** that’s….

**Peter:** thanks

**Harry:** de rien

**Peter:** hey is uhm…

**Peter:** is he really okay?

**Harry:** quoi?

**Peter:** after the call from his dad

**Harry:** oh

**Harry:** Harry is… 

**Harry:** [sleepy](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842650935319/)

**Harry:** he  _ will _ be okay

**Peter:** thank you

**Peter:** for you know

**Peter:** being there 

**Peter:** when i can’t

**Harry:** you really like him, no?

**Peter:** i…  _ what _

**Harry:** no worry 

**Harry:** get some sleep, beau

**Harry:** i have him 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quoi - what?
> 
> il est deux heures du matin - it's two o'clock in the morning
> 
> j’essaie - I'm trying
> 
> tu es ridicule - you are ridiculous
> 
> Va te faire foutre dyslexie - fuck you dyslexia
> 
> pourquoi - why
> 
> s’il vous plaît - please? 
> 
> oui, chiot - yes, puppy 
> 
> elle est différente - she is different
> 
> je me sens mal - I feel bad
> 
> Désolé - sorry
> 
> il est compliqué - he is complicated 
> 
> de rien - you're welcome
> 
> beau - handsome


	8. Video Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I hate this chapter... but I do. 
> 
> Enjoy, babes. 
> 
> Translations at the bottom!

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Peter:** excusez moi, monsieur

 **Harry:** you’re texting me in French and i am not used to it

 **Peter:** pardon me, señor

 **Harry:** Peter

 **Peter:** Mi scusi, signore

 **Harry:** 是吗？

 **Peter:** no you can’t w i n

 **Harry:** _what do you want_

 **Peter:** that’s no way to speak to me

 **Harry:** too bad so sad

 **Peter:** i am 

**Peter:** _offended_

 **Harry:** _Peter_

 **Peter:** Harold

 **Harry:** what’s up?

 **Peter:** question

 **Harry:** omg just ask it already

 **Peter:** so _demanding_ today 

**Harry:** okay so _clearly_ this isn’t important so…

 **Harry:** i’m just going to go back to doing what I _was_ doing

 **Harry:** before you messaged

 **Peter:** wait 

**Peter:** no

 **Peter:** come back

 **Peter:** Harryyyyyy come bacccccccck

 **Peter:** H

 **Peter:** a

 **Peter:** r

 **Peter:** r

 **Peter:** y

 **Peter:** _i will cry, Osborn_

 **Peter:** i am so super annoying

 **Peter:** and won’t stop texting you

 **Peter:** until you text me back

 **Peter:** _don’t test me_

 **Peter:** _i will out stubborn you_

 **Peter:** Harold Theopolis stop _ignoring me_

 **Peter:** _Harry_

 **Peter:** _Harry_

 **Peter:** _Harry_

 **Peter:** _Harry_

 **Peter:** _Harry_

 **Peter:** _Harry_

 **Peter:** _Harry_

 **Peter:** _Harry_

 **Harry:** jfc 

**Harry:** _w h a t_

 **Peter:** omgggg hi

 **Peter:** i have a question

 **Harry:** _just ask it fuck_

 **Peter:** mailing address please? 

**Harry:** i

 **Harry:** pourquoi

 **Peter:** that takes so much longer than just typing out why

 **Peter:** anyway

 **Peter:** because i _want_ it

 **Harry:** okay??

 **Harry:** don’t send me things i don’t know how to accept gifts

 **Peter:** just _give me the address, Osborn_

 **Harry:** Notre Dame International High School, Becquerel Dorm #34 106 Grande Rue, 78480 Verneuil-sur-Seine, France

 **Peter:** gracias!

 **Harry:** de nada

 **Harry:** [art](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/780811654120929799/)

 **Harry:** why did you want my address?

 **Peter:** reasons

 **Peter:** also

 **Peter:** _fuck you’re good at that_

 **Harry:** it’s _passable_

 **Peter** : shut up it’s really good

 **Harry:** i have to run to dinner 

**Peter:** okieee i have to go back to class anyway

 **Peter:** ttyl, panda bear

 **Harry:** _stop calling me that_

 **Peter:** n e v e r 

**_Miss Madison_ **

**Cas:** дорогой, there’s a Degas exhibit at the museum. Do you want me to get you a pass? 

**Harry:** _oh my god_

 **Harry:** yes please!

 **Cas:** Consider it done! 

**Harry:** do you wnat me to bring you lunch?

 **Cas:** You are a lifesaver, Mister Osborn. 

**Cas:** Do me a favor, though?

 **Harry:** mhm?

 **Cas:** Bring that painting you’ve been working on - the girls miss seeing your work. 

**Harry:**!!!! okay

 **Cas:** спасибо

 **Harry:** uh…

 **Harry:** всегда пожалуйста

 **Harry:**?

 **Cas:** Correct! 

**_ Pretty Boy _ **

**Harry:** _you didn’t_

 **Peter:**?

 **Peter:** i probably did

 **Peter:** what did i do

 **Harry:** _i told you not to buy me anything_

 **Peter:** omg you got it

 **Peter:** it arrived?!

 **Peter:** _so quick_

 **Harry:** [panda stuffed animal](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842650937359/)

 **Peter:**!!!!!!

 **Harry:** i

 **Harry:** tpyign is hrad

 **Peter:** i’m so glad it arrived okay!!!!

 **Peter:** i saw it and thought of you and

**_Incoming video call._ **

Peter almost dropped his phone when the notification overtook his screen - a black and white panda face spread across the newest, sleek, break resistant Stark phone. Harry was _calling_ him? They had been talking for a little over a month now and they had never even _once_ breached the idea of connecting even through a _phone call_. It seemed like the next logical step, sure, and Peter had been wondering for practically weeks what Harry’s voice sounded like outside of news interviews. 

Usually, he would have answered without question or without a second thought. 

Currently, though, Peter wasn’t exactly in the best situation _for_ a video call. For one, it was three in the morning. For another, much more _important_ reason… he was still out in the blue and red Spider suit and mid swing. It had been a relatively quiet night for New York - he had only stopped one break in and two attempted muggings but nothing else of real import. Breathlessly, he ripped off the mask - smoothed down his hair, and pulled up the zipper of his sweatshirt. Thankfully, he was expected home soon _anyway_ and had already perched himself on the rooftop of a nearby building where he couldn’t be seen. 

It would have been easier, perhaps, to simply _not_ answer the call. It was three in the morning and, sure, Peter had answered the texts but for all Harry knew he was warm and comfy in his bed and… he answered the call before he could allow himself to go much farther in that direction. 

His first shot wasn’t actually _of_ Harry but, instead, of Marco - tall, square jawed, and dark haired. He was smiling wide enough both rows of his teeth were showing and it was clear that _he_ had been the one to initiate the call. He winked when Peter’s own face appeared on screen and held up a finger to his lips. “He does not know I called but you _need_ to see this.” 

Marco’s voice was low, rumbled deep in his chest, and _heavily_ accented so much so that, if he spoke any quicker, Peter wouldn’t have been able to pick out any of the words he was trying to say. His “t”s sounded like “z”s but the mischievous look in his eyes was enough for Peter’s jaw to clamp shut. “Harry, mon cher!” Marco called to wherever Harry was off camera and smiled so wickedly Peter was almost afraid of what was about to happen next. “How _happy_ are you right now?” 

He double tapped the screen and Peter’s breath caught in his chest. He noticed the hair first - orange dusted with blonde and brown and fluffy from where he was laying against soft light blue sheets hugging what Peter _knew_ was the stuffed panda he had just received close to his chest. He had his face buried in the stuffed fur yet, still, he was absolutely breathtaking. The video wasn’t the best quality but Peter could still make out the curve of his hips and the way his eyes - the bluest things Peter had ever seen - peaked above the panda to where Marco was standing. “Pourquoi parlez-vous en anglais?” 

“ _Oh my god_ .” Peter _meant_ to speak the words quietly, yet they came out loud enough that he saw the panda fall - revealing a face Peter would happily have as the last thing he would ever see - and Harry sat up from where he had been laying just moments before. 

“Tu es adorable, Harry,” said Marco from behind the phone. “Dites-lui à quel point vous êtes heureux.” 

“ _Marco_ ,” Harry lunged for the phone and the screen warped as the two friends seemingly fought over it. Peter was happy for the distraction - he almost felt as though he couldn’t breathe, the soft smooth echo of Harry’s accented voice flowing through his ears and setting his skin on fire. He wouldn’t have been much help in the conversation, lounging on the top of a tall building with the lights of New York lighting up the edges of his face. He looked a mess, Peter noticed in the small front facing camera - his hair sticking up in odd directions the way the mask _always_ made it. He never noticed how _terrible_ the Spider-Man suit made him look afterwards - his cheeks flushed red, his eyes sunken with small bags, and curls wild. Suddenly, Peter wished he was at home where he had a _brush_ and much better lighting than the New York City skyline. “I’m so sorry, Marco shouldn’t have called you it’s so _late_ there.” 

The camera steadied after a moment and Peter almost felt as though he could jump off the roof he was currently perched on and not feel any bit of pain when his body, inevitably, slammed into the pavement. Harry was _gorgeous_ in a way so few people in the world actually were - his hair looked incredibly soft (the sort of _soft_ that Peter could squeeze his fingers through and smooth against his palm all day), his _lips_ pinker than Peter thought was fair, freckles dotted his nose and cheeks and _blue_ was the crudest description for his eyes that didn’t _fit_ once Peter could really look at them. When he was confused Harry’s nose crinkled and forehead scrunched. Peter didn’t _know_ that until now. “Where are you?” He wouldn’t say that his accent was _French_ , Peter debated. It danced between French and British with hints of Manhattan bleeding between words. 

Peter had never heard it before, but, now that he had, he wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to go a day without hearing it again. He blinked and realized that Harry was talking to _him_ and waiting patiently for an answer. With flushed cheeks Peter stuttered his way through a greeting. “I… I’m… where are you?” 

It was stupid, Peter was horribly stupid sometimes, but the _sound_ his answer pulled out of Harry was pure unadulterated joy. “Paris.” 

“You sound like the movies.” It was out before Peter could stop himself and embarrassment made him instantly regret ever opening his mouth. 

“And _you_ sound like home.” When Harry blushed it was incredibly noticeable and Peter filed that information away for later. “Are you _outside_? Peter, it’s three in the morning.” 

_Say it again_ , Peter wanted to beg because the way Harry’s tongue curled around his name sent a scurry of fireflies alight in his stomach. “I… came out for the view?” 

“Why is that a question?” 

“You ask _a lot_ of questions, Osborn.” 

“Well,” Harry huffed and he had _dimples_ and Peter had not noticed that before... “ _Peter_ ,” he smiled wickedly and Peter had a feeling he _knew_ that listening to his name fall from Harry’s lips was _now_ Peter’s favorite sound in the world. “Why don’t you answer any of them?” 

“That’s another question there, Har.” His heart hadn’t stopped pounding, even with the soft hitch in Harry’s breath at his _own_ name. “How do you like the panda?” 

“Oh mon dieu, Pete! No one has ever gotten me a present before.” 

“What?” 

“Not… not like _this_ . Not… Peter, I _love_ him.” 

**_Video call ended after 71:54 minutes_ **

**_Friendchips_ **

**Peter:** _i can die happy now_

 **MJ:** damn 

**MJ:** i was hoping you were going to die miserable

 **Ned:** How about you… idk… _don’t die_

 **MJ:** also, Stark, it’s six in the morning

 **Ned:** Spidey was out like all night 

**Ned:** have you even slept yet?

 **Peter:** _sleep is unimportant_

 **MJ:** lack of sleep explains a lot of problems you have

 **Ned:** Why are you so happy?

 **MJ:** kick him out again it’ll be funny

 **Ned:** _don’t you dare_

 **Peter:** [Harry](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/391391023858067672/)

 **Peter:** [Harry and Marco](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/358176976606748208/)

 **Peter:** _he sounds like cotton candy_

 **MJ:** Peter lmao

 **Ned:** wait

 **Ned:** _you have a crush on Harry Osborn?!_

 **MJ:** understatement of the century

 **MJ:** they’ve been talking for a month now

 **Ned:** WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME

 **Peter:** _Ned your emotions aren’t important right now_

 **MJ:** savage

 **Ned:** exCUSE YOU

 **Peter:** _help me i’m in crisis_

 **MJ:** Peter you’re always in crisis

 **MJ:** take your thirsting somewhere else

 **Ned:** S T A R K 

**Peter:** you know

 **Peter:** talking to Nebula and Harley would be more helpful than _this_

**MJ:** then talk to them about it 

**MJ:** goddamn

 **Peter:** _he has an accent_

 **MJ:** lmao

 **Ned:** ugh your accent thing is _so annoying_

 **Peter:** _Ned_

 **MJ:** yes, destroy him Ned

**_Stark Sibling Chat_ **

**Harley:** stop screaming it’s _six in the morning_

 **Peter:** i am so 

**Harley:** i don’t _care,_ Peter

 **Nebula:** How did the video call go?

 **Peter:** [Harry and Marco](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/358176976606748208/)

 **Peter:** _i think i’m_

 **Peter:** maybe

 **Peter:** fuck

 **Nebula:** He _is_ adorable. 

**Harley:** _back the fuck up_

 **Peter:** isn’t he so

 **Harley:** who is that guy

 **Peter:** Harry

 **Harley:** no

 **Harley:** no fuck Osborn

 **Nebula:** Peter would happily. 

**Peter:** _Nebula_

 **Harley:** wow 

**Harley:** things i 

**Harley:** literally never expected to see

 **Peter:** _did you just make a sex joke_

 **Nebula:** Am I wrong? 

**Peter:** i

 **Harley:** ending this

 **Harley:** _who is tall dark and handsome_

 **Peter:** nO 

**_Gwenasarus _ **

**Harry:** je suis tellement baisé

 **Gwen:** good morning

 **Harry:** Gwen

 **Gwen:** Harry

 **Harry:** _i am so fucked_

 **Gwen:** i got that

 **Gwen:** what’s up, babe?

 **Harry:** he sounds like home

 **Gwen:** who?

 **Gwen:** wait

 **Harry:**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Gwen:** omg

 **Gwen:** you _talked_?!

 **Gwen:** i am _so proud_ of your rebellion

 **Harry:** he sent me a _panda_

 **Gwen:** Harry

 **Gwen:** i am in the middle of math

 **Gwen:** and _screaming_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> excusez moi, monsieur - excuse me, sir
> 
> pardon me, señor - pardon me, sir
> 
> Mi scusi, signore - excuse me, sir
> 
> 是吗？- yes?
> 
> pourquoi - why?
> 
> gracias! - thank you!
> 
> de nada - you're welcome
> 
> дорогой - darling
> 
> спасибо - thank you
> 
> всегда пожалуйста - you're welcome
> 
> Pourquoi parlez-vous en anglais - why are you speaking in English?
> 
> Tu es adorable - you are adorable
> 
> Dites-lui à quel point vous êtes heureux - Tell him how happy you are 
> 
> je suis tellement baisé - I'm so fucked


	9. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did I start naming each chapter? 
> 
> Translations at the bottom!

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Harry:** i gave a thumbs up to a classmate today and forgot they were Iraqi 

**Peter:** what

 **Peter:** w… why is that a problem

 **Harry:** he asked me if i understood the slide and i _gave him a thumbs up_

 **Peter:** _i got that Har_

 **Peter:** _but i fail to see what the problem is_

 **Harry:** i basically just flipped him off

 **Peter:** lmao

 **Peter:** wait

 **Peter:** _o h_

 **Peter:** it’s a culture thing

 **Harry:** yes, Pete it’s a culture thing

 **Peter:** don’t judge me Osborn

 **Peter:** it’s _too early_ for me to function

 **Harry:** it’s… _nine_ in the morning

 **Peter:** that sounds

 **Peter:** suspiciously

 **Peter:** like 

**Peter:** _judgement_

 **Harry:** how do you survive classes

 **Peter:** i don’t

 **Harry:** lmao 

**Harry:** but really… you get like zero sleep adn it’s concerning

 **Peter:** _you’re_ concerning

 **Harry:**?

 **Peter:** _your face is concerning_

 **Harry:** i think you need sleep

 **Peter:** i need a vacation

 **Peter:** would i survive in France?

 **Harry:** no 

**Harry:** you would inevitably insult someone without meaning to

 **Harry:** and it would only lead to me getting kicking out of the country and having my dual citizenship revoked 

**Peter:** _well_

 **Peter:** now i wanna go just to prove you wrong

 **Harry:** do you live your entire life surrounded by spite?

 **Peter:** _y e s_

 **Harry:** that shouldn’t be shocking

 **Harry:** and yet ehre i am

 **Harry:** _shocked_

 **Peter:** aside from insulting both me and the entire Iraqi population

 **Harry:** when did i insult anyone that’s _not_ you?

 **Peter:** you’re the one that told that poor kid in your class to fuck off

 **Harry:** i

 **Harry:** i _did not_

 **Peter:** your story tells me differently

 **Peter:** _anyway_

 **Peter:** aside from all that

 **Peter:** what’re you up to today

 **Harry:** apparently verbal whiplash from you

 **Harry:** it’s five minutes until classes get out here so i’m literally sitting at my desk doing ntohign 

**Harry:** uh… my day ahsn’t been _that_ interesting? 

**Harry:** what have you been doing?

 **Peter:** not paying attention in class i can tell you that much

 **Harry:** do you ever?

 **Peter:** l i s t e n 

**Peter:** i taught myself polynomials when i was like twelve

 **Harry:** what if you get called on

 **Peter:** _deflection_

 **Harry:** so you freeze up and panic?

 **Peter:** i mean who doesn’t

 **Harry:** idk man people that _pay attention_

 **Peter:** literally where’s the fun in that

 **Harry:** good grades?

 **Harry:** idk don’t your parents _wnat_ you to have good grades?

 **Peter:** aweeee 

**Peter:** i’m already like 2nd in class

 **Harry:** and you don’t even _pay attention_

 **Peter:** n o p e 

**Harry:** i work my _ass off_ to be where i am

 **Peter:** where are you?

 **Harry:** strugglign all day every day

 **Peter:** oh mood

 **Peter:** but like 

**Peter:** ranking wise

 **Harry:** fluctuating between 1st and 2nd

 **Peter:** both rankings are really good

 **Harry:** only one is good enough

 **Peter:** you set too high standards for yourself

 **Harry:** who said i set them for myself?   
****

**Peter:** oh

 **Peter:** well

 **Peter:** _regardless_

 **Peter:** second in class is great 

**Peter:** i’m kinda thinking of dropping to third just so that i don’t have to give a speech at graduation

 **Harry:** your dad would be okay with that?

 **Peter:** dad knows how smart i am

 **Peter:** he doesn’t need my _grades_ to reflect anything other than trying

 **Harry:** are you really trying by not paying attention though?

 **Harry:** just

 **Harry:** idk that sounded rude

 **Peter:** you’re fine

 **Peter:** i honestly care a lot about school, ya know?

 **Peter:** it’s just… sometimes it feels really insignificant 

**Peter:** like i could be doing so much _more_ if i wasn’t stuck in this building all day long

 **Harry:** you can’t save hte world without an education

 **Peter:** i _could_ have graduated early 

**Peter:** but i don’t really want to

 **Peter:** cuz that would mean leaving my friends behind

 **Harry:** graduating early would mean starting college early and honestly i’m not ready for that

 **Peter:** i wanna take like five years off and just _vibe_ with the world

 **Harry:** i want to go live in the woods somewhere and never show my face again

 **Peter:** i

 **Peter:** no i’d miss your face

 **Harry:** oh i mean

 **Harry:** i

 **Harry:** ~~ _i assumed you’d be with me_~~ **[message deleted]**

 **Harry:** ~~we could always disappear _together_~~ **[message deleted]**

 **Harry:** ~~you’re probably the one person i’d miss~~ **[message deleted]**

 **Peter:** you keep starting and stopping 

**Peter:** should i be concerned

 **Harry:** non

 **Harry:** come live in the woods with me

 **Peter:** y e s 

**Peter:** that sounds _magical_

**Peter:** hey

 **Peter:** favor

 **Harry:** no

 **Peter:** Harryyyyyyyy

 **Harry:** you know it’s a yes 

**Harry:** what’s up

 **Peter:** can i call you during lunch

 **Peter:** i have a _question_

 **Harry:** about?

 **Peter:** don’t laugh at me

 **Harry:** but now it’s like guaranteed i’ll laugh 

**Peter:** just

 **Peter:** fhsudf

 **Peter:** i’m trying to prove Ned wrong

 **Harry:** and you need ot call me to do that

 **Peter:** yes

 **Harry:** i mean

 **Harry:** okay?

 **Harry:** i’ll be at dinner though so you’ll probably get Marco too

 **Peter:** oh good it’ll give Harley someone to stare at 

**Harry:** _waht_

 **Peter:** did i not say anything about that before?

 **Harry:** does you brother have a thing for Marco?

 **Peter:** oh god it’s hilarious

 **Peter:** when he gets flustered his accent comes out _full force_

**Harry:** where’s he from?

 **Peter:** Tennessee

 **Peter:** he’s gotten really good at like

 **Peter:** _not_ speaking like he’s from the south

 **Peter:** but every now and then it slips out

 **Harry:** learning to speka like everyone around you is rough

 **Peter:** he doesn’t _have to_

 **Harry:** subconsciously you kinda do

 **Peter:** don’t take away my joy at embarrassing my brother here

 **Harry:** oh so sorry never will i do that again

 **Peter:** good

 **Peter:** but yeah i can call?

 **Harry:** si

 **Peter:** yay!

 **Peter:** talk to you later then

 **Harry:** au revoir 

Marco huffed, rolled his eyes, and shoved at Harry’s shoulder until his hand dislodged from his hair. “Arrête, tu as l’air en forme.” Harry flushed, cheeks red enough to match his hair and tugged just once more at the neck of his collar. They had found a table in the far back of the cafeteria, lightened by a lantern on the wall and darkened by the rain clouds the sky showed through the window behind Marco. Harry hadn’t been sure if he could stomach food but Marco had all but forced a salad on him and probably would have force fed the greens down his throat if he hadn’t at least eaten half. 

The good thing about boarding school, was that Harry never actually had to eat by himself. If it wasn’t Marco then he would have Ambrose or Brielle or, sometimes, he would meet Cas at the museum to share a meal. Another good thing, Harry presumed to himself while internal panic started to eat at his insides, was that if he _wanted_ to be alone then he could, most definitely, _find_ somewhere to be alone. “Oi,” Marco pointed at his screen - Peter’s contact photo - the bland, nondescript image that the phone assigned him and the name _Pierre_ to avoid suspicion - lit up the screen. “Lover boy, is calling.” 

Would it ever get easier, Harry wondered to himself. Would his heart ever _not_ try to beat its way out of his chest whenever he saw Peter’s face? And, if it did, what did _that_ mean? It was sunny in New York and the cafeteria Peter was in looked _vastly_ different than the one Harry was in. For one - the walls were white where Saint Martins boasted wood and dark blue. For another, the table was old and long and had benches instead of chairs. Peter was welcome to wear whatever he wanted at Midtown - and it seemed he had a trend in outfits with an unzipped hoodie draped over a t-shirt with a pun and jeans. Imagine, Harry thought, if he had gone there. Would he have fit in at all? “Hey!” Peter brightened instantly and smiled so wide that Harry could see all of his teeth. 

Harry had never considered _brown_ a contender for his favorite color until he had seen Peter’s eyes. But, even then, they weren’t merely brown but, instead, a swirl of caramel and gold mixed into milk chocolate just enough that if the sun hit them at the right angle the gold would _spark_ and set fire to whatever Peter gazed upon. Marco elbowed him again and Harry swallowed down the lovesick fool that had taken his place. “Bonjour.” He smiled at Peter and felt _different_ even to the corners of Harry’s mouth. 

“ _Okay_ ,” Peter sounded just a bit breathless and it must have been the lighting that had his cheeks flushing just a bit around the edges. He glanced somewhere off screen and then tugged at the sleeve of someone to pull them into view. “This is Ned. Ned, this is Harry.” 

Ned was _bright_ beside Peter and, honestly, the two of them looked like Harry expected best friends to look. It was hard to explain but Ned’s smooth edges compared to Peter’s sharp points seemed to fit together like puzzle pieces into what Harry had always assumed was the perfect puzzle piece. He hadn’t ever _met_ Ned Leeds but he had seen pictures of him in tabloids - usually sitting between the Stark siblings with a smile the size of his entire face. It was hard not to smile back at him when he waved in greeting. “You’re Harry Osborn!” 

He _sounded_ like an excited puppy anyway and Harry couldn’t help the way his mouth opened to say yes and instead laughed. He pressed a hand over his eyes and looked down, shaking his head in quiet mirth. “No hellos for moi?” Marco peaked over his head and waved with much more composure than Harry had. “Hello, Pierre.” 

“Pierre?” Harry wasn’t sure if he could blush _more_ but there Marco was… embarrassing him at every turn. 

“ _Marco_ ,” he kicked Marco’s shin with his overly expensive dress shoes and was only a little bit impressed with the squeak he got in return. “It’s nice to meet you, Ned.” 

“Dude, you sound really different in your interviews.” 

“ _Ned_ .” Peter flushed and wasn’t _that_ one of the best things Harry had ever seen. 

“ _What_?” 

“This is a mess, I’m sorry.” Peter laughed and it was a tinge of self depreciation that made Harry frown, if only for a moment. 

“Who are you talkin’ to?” Harry didn’t _need_ an introduction to Harley Stark - he was frequently in the tabloids much like Peter. He was _also_ someone that Harry was more likely to run into at corporate events. He was usually the one that attended beside their mother - Pepper - and had a certain charm to him that had all the reporters only printing _nice_ things. Harry was painfully jealous - when it came to _him_ any nice article was usually hidden between twenty bad ones. “You don’t have friends.” 

“Excuse you.” Peter gasped, fake offended at the teasing tone of his brother’s voice. “I’ll have you know I am talking to your tall, dark and handsome.” 

“ _No_.” Harley seemingly clamoured for the phone but Peter was faster and Harry would have been lost in his smile if Marco didn’t all but shove his fork back into his hand. 

“Manger, Harry.”

He rolled his eyes but obliged anyway. “You had a question?” 

Peter flushed and Harley fell over the side of the backless metal bench with a clamor. “Y… yes?” 

“Did… you _not_ have a question?” 

“Uhm…” 

“Il voulait prouver que vous ne l’aimiez pas en retour. De toute évidence, il a tort.” One of the joys of knowing as many languages as Harry did was that he barely needed a moment to translate the sentence back to English in order to know what had been said. The girl that had said it had come from behind the camera, no where in view, and managed to convey such a level of _boredom_ that Harry knew it had to be fake. 

Still, he found himself choking on the bite he had just taken and Marco’s loud bark-like laughter had more than a few curious eyes turning their way. “C’est la meilleure chose qui me soit arrivée de la journée!” 

“Marco!” 

“MJ, what did you say?” Peter demanded with curiosity tinging his eyes a darker brown. 

“Ask your _petit ami_.” 

“Oh mon dieu.” Harry moaned into the heel of his hand. 

“She _said_ that you wanted to prove that Harry-.” 

“No!” Marco, if possible, laughed even louder when Harry pushed himself away from the table, scooped up his phone and all but ran from the hall, Marco scrambling up after him. “I’m going to call you back later, oui?” 

“I… sounds good?” 

“Merci, ciao mon amour.” 

“ _Mon amour_ !” Marco caught Harry’s phone when he threw it behind himself, cheeks red enough to start a fire and hands shaking with badly contained embarrassment. He raked his hands down his face and gripped at the tips of his hair with slumped shoulders and wished, for once, that he had _actually_ been given just a dash of his father’s charm.

“ _Me tuer._ ”

**_The Fam Gang_ **

**IronDad:** Peter’s okay, just got a little ouchie during patrol tonight. Bringing him to medbay to get patched up. 

**Harley:** who the hell says ouchie

 **Nebula:** I am glad he is okay. 

**IronMom:** Morgan says ouchie

 **Harley:** Morgan’s _six_

 **IronDad:** He’s all doped up on pain meds while the doctors work. 

**IronDad:** I thought at least _one_ of you would want that blackmail material for later use. 

**IronMom:** Tony don’t encourage this

 **Harley:** wait no encourage it

 **Nebula:** You assume I do not already have a backdoor into the cameras. 

**IronDad:** atta girl

 **Harley:** _film it_

 **Nebula:** It is for my use only. 

**Harley:** no share

 **Harley:** like a good sister

 **Nebula:** I am not a good sister.

 **IronMom:** should I be concerned by how often you two antagonize each other?

 **IronDad:** No that’s just how they show love

**IronDad:** Kids

 **Harley:** parental unit

 **Nebula:** Yes?

 **IronMom:** does this not concern me?

 **IronMom:** how’s my baby?

 **IronDad:** Apparently he’s crushing hard

 **IronMom:** on who?

 **IronMom:** MJ?

 **Harley:** _oh no_

 **Nebula:** Shit. 

**IronDad:** _Oh no is right_

 **IronMom:** Not MJ then?

 **IronDad:** Why did none of you tell me?

 **Nebula:** It is against the sibling code of secrecy. 

**Harley:** ^

 **IronMom:** Tony

 **IronMom:** why are you freaking out?

 **IronDad:** Our son has a _crush_

**IronDad:** A pretty big on

 **IronMom:** he’s had plenty of crushes

 **IronDad:** _on an Osborn_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arrête, tu as l’air en forme - Stop, you look fine. 
> 
> au revoir - goodbye! 
> 
> Bonjour - hello
> 
> moi - me? 
> 
> Manger - eat 
> 
> Il voulait prouver que vous ne l’aimiez pas en retour. De toute évidence, il a tort. - He wanted to prove that you didn't like him back. Obviously he's wrong. 
> 
> C’est la meilleure chose qui me soit arrivée de la journée - This is the best thing to happen to me all day! 
> 
> petit ami - boyfriend 
> 
> Oh mon dieu - oh my god
> 
> Merci - thank you 
> 
> Ciao - later 
> 
> Mon amour - my love 
> 
> Me tuer - kill me


	10. Doughnuts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No translations this chapter which is weird but 🤷♀️

**_Miss Madison_ **

**Cas:** Darling

**Harry:** morning, Cas

**Cas:** I have an interesting opportunity for you. 

**Harry:** _ go on _

**Cas:** How would you like to accompany me to a meeting with an art restorer for the museum? 

**Harry:** you mean

**Harry:** _ my dream job _

**Cas:** He speaks only French and you know how dreadful I am with native speakers. 

**Harry:** yes

**Harry:** Cas yes yes yes

**Cas:** Absolutely wonderful!

**Cas:** I was thinking we could make a whole day out of it. It’s been awhile since we’ve been able to get some time to ourselves. 

**Cas:** Eat too much food. Talk about boys. 

**Harry:** can we get that stuff we did last time?

**Cas:** Doughnuts? 

**Harry:** _ that _ ’s what they’re called?

**Harry:** i messed it up like tne times

**Harry:** smh

**Cas:** _ Of _ course we can get doughnuts!

**Cas:** Fried food is the way to my heart. 

**Harry:** i thought that was bendy clokcs

**Cas:** I love me some bendy clocks. 

**Harry:** i mean who  _ doesn’t _ love some bendy clocks

**Cas:** The kind of people I don’t want to be friends with. 

**Cas:** Why are you texting me when you’re supposed to be in class, Mister Osborn? 

**Harry:** _ shhhh _

**Cas:** I shouldn’t be encouraging this type of rule breaking.

**Harry:** and yet

**Harry:** here you are

**Cas:** When did you start texting like that? 

**Harry:** like what?

**Cas:** Out of full sentences?

**Cas:** It’s cute. 

**Harry:** i

**Harry:** must have picked up on it

**Cas:** From  _ who _ ?

**Cas:** Harold are you  _ texting _ someone that’s not just me and your two friends?

**Harry:** _ no _

**Cas:** !!!!! 

**Harry:** no no none of that

**Cas:** Oh maaaaan, are  _ we _ going to have a talk when I pick you up tomorrow. 

**Harry:** no we’re not

**Cas:** I can’t wait to embarrass you over this. 

**Cas:** Is he nice? 

**Harry:** sdfhuf

**Harry:** _ Cas _

**Harry:** this goes directly against teaching protocol

**Cas:** You’re my only student. 

**Cas:** Is he cute? 

**Harry:** _ y e s _

**Cas:** Omg

**Cas:** Are you smitten? 

**Harry:** C a s 

**Cas:** I’m taking that as the confirmation it obviously is. 

**Harry:** suhsdf

**Cas:** Now pay attention to class, I’m supposed to be setting a good example. 

**Harry:** you are literally the  _ worst _ example i’ve ever had

**Cas:** I do not appreciate this level of sass, Mister Osborn. 

**Harry:** _ too bad Miss Madison _

**Cas:** Detention. 

**Cas:** I have the power to give you that. 

**Harry:** bet 

**Cas:** The  _ disrespect _ . 

**Harry:** is  _ deserved _

**Cas:** Well now I’m not going to get you doughnuts. 

**Harry:** no 

**Harry:** i take it back

**Cas:** Too late.

**Harry:** Cas noooo

**Cas:** What is it you kids say?

**Cas:** RIP

**Harry:** _ i will cry _

**Cas:** More doughnuts for me. 

**Harry:** i will  _ avenge _ this betrayal

**Cas:** Try me, rich boy. 

**Harry:** i have never been hurt this bad

**Cas:** Dramatics. 

**Harry:** where do you think i learned them

**Cas:** Marco. 

**Harry:** _ you’re right _

Peter woke up with a groggy head and what felt like cotton balls stuck to the roof of his mouth. He wished he could say that he wasn’t intimately familiar with the feel of pain medication weaving itself through his body but, well, that would be a lie. And Peter actively tried to avoid lying to himself. He squinted at the ceiling fan - in his own room then and not medbay which meant his injury wasn’t  _ actually _ that bad. Just like he had told his father the day before after the suit had alerted him to an injury. Peter knew he shouldn’t have been shocked by the betrayal of an AI but… well he  _ was _ . To think Karen would turn on him so quickly to tattle to his father was spitefully painful in the same way it was when Harley had blurted out his crush on MJ during dinner a year before. 

He pushed himself up onto his elbows and winced at the pull of stitches on his side and his head swam like it was underwater. 

Okay… maybe it  _ had _ been a little worse than he admitted. 

It  _ had _ been a simple altercation - just a mugging in an alley that Peter interrupted with his usual gusto. One guy had a gun, the old man they were attacking was cowering with a broken nose (and how  _ uncool _ was it to go after old people?) and Peter had webbed the gun away easily enough. His friend had caught him by surprise, though - the crawling sensation of the Spidey sense saving him from a hard and heavy stab in the gut and, instead, allowing only a deep graze in the side. 

Peter remembered arguing with his father - insistent that he didn’t need more than a quick patch up but, he guessed, the exhaustion of late nights and lack of sleep finally caught up with him. He remembered up until Tony had swept him up from under the knees and cradled him against the cold metal of the Iron Man suit. And then… well then it got a little fuzzy. 

Peter  _ hated _ being on pain meds but he hated feeling the cold needle of a stitch and the pull of thread through his damaged skin even  _ more _ . His healing factor helped as much as it could but when he was as tired as he currently was there was really only so much a healing factor could do. Adequate sleep - that as what Doctor Cho would prescribe once she knew he was awake with that stern concern on her face that Peter  _ hated _ . Mom and dad wouldn’t let him out to patrol for the next few weeks - not until his sleeping patterns readjusted themselves. 

He sighed and tipped back his head and allowed his elbows to slide out from under him and run his hands over his face. 

Annoying, but Peter assumed it was necessary. 

It came from a place of caring anyway. 

“You’re awake,” Tony  _ always _ knocked, even if he didn’t always give Peter time to answer. He had probably assumed Peter would still be asleep if the surprise around his bright hazel eyes was any indication. Peter looked at him and could see the same man that had taken him in when he was seven only with much more grey in his hair and beard and lines down the sides of his face. He looked tired, Peter noticed with a frown and he wondered if Tony had slept at all since he had gotten Peter back to the tower to be looked over by doctors. Guilt pooled in the pit of Peter’s stomach - his father hadn’t been a  _ fan _ of Peter going out as Spider-Man back when he had started and yet he had knowingly put aside his opinions once Peter made it painfully clear that he wasn’t going to be quitting the business anytime soon. That didn’t mean he didn’t worry every single time Peter went out, though. 

“Hi, dad.” He shuffled himself over under the covers carefully to avoid pulling at the injury and Tony more than happily sat himself down next to his head with his back against the headboard. 

Tony was wearing the fuzzy Iron Man pants Harley had gotten him as a joke for Christmas the year before and they were soft against the tip of Peter’s nose. “How are you feeling?” 

Nebula and Harley might have been older than Peter but he was the first to have been adopted by Tony and Pepper. Because of that he found himself intimately familiar with the pair of them in a way that the others weren’t - Tony had taken him in at seven after his entire family had been obliterated during a plane crash and Peter was left an orphan. Becoming a foster parent had been a whim decision and Tony had made it without really thinking on what exactly it entailed. He hadn’t fallen in love with Peter on first view - it had taken  _ months _ to iron out the kinks in their relationship but they had fallen together effortlessly once Tony  _ admitted _ that he cared for someone other than the precious few he let into his life. 

Pepper had been easier -  _ she _ had loved Peter the moment she met him and he had adored her all too easily. They had adopted him legally when he was nine, had welcomed in Harley through the foster system not long after, and adopted  _ him _ when Peter was eleven. Nebula had been the oldest - fifteen and angry and found on a mission by Tony in a position bad enough that the adults  _ still _ refused to talk about it. She was theirs at seventeen even if she didn’t  _ have _ to be. Morgan had been a surprise baby and they all  _ adored _ her more than words could say. 

But Peter had been first, he had technically known both Tony and Pepper the longest and been through the most with them. It didn’t matter in terms of love but it did in terms of  _ understanding _ . Peter didn’t have many memories  _ without _ Tony and Pepper as mom and dad. Harley didn’t talk about his own blood parents that much and Peter tried not to ask - from what he could find the Keener’s hadn’t been  _ kind _ like the Parkers had. “Fuzzy.” Peter muttered into the fabric, unsure if he was stating a fact about Tony’s pants or talking about how his head felt. 

Tony’s blunt nails scratched at the top of his skull and weaved through his chestnut curls and he laughed the softer chuckle that he reserved just for his family. “Yeah you’re on Cap’s meds, buddy.” 

Cap’s meds. 

Peter  _ hated _ Cap’s meds but nothing else worked in his system and even  _ those _ were partially helpful with the right combination of other drugs. “D’I have to go to school?” It was a dumb question but Peter didn’t actually know what time it was with the black out curtains on his windows. 

“Mom already called you out. Looks like you’ve got a long weekend.” 

“Yay.” 

They didn’t talk for a while and Peter was about half asleep with his nose nuzzled into Tony’s leg when his father finally  _ did _ talk again. “So,” Peter stiffened. He  _ knew _ that voice. That was the voice that usually came before he was either about to be teased mercilessly or had done something stupid that his father only found mildly funny. “About your crush.”

And if  _ that _ didn’t bring out an entire slow of hazy memories from the night before to the front of his mind then Peter didn’t know what would. Instantly he could feel his cheeks redden and eyes widen. “No.” He moaned it into his forearm and wished that his father wasn’t so good at  _ cornering _ him when he couldn’t move. 

“ _ Blue _ doesn’t describe his eyes, huh? And his  _ hair _ looks  _ so soft _ .” 

“Please stop.” 

“And he  _ sounds _ like a  _ prince _ -.”

“ _ Dad _ .”

“He knows  _ so many languages _ .” Tony laughed at his misery and mused his hair in what Peter  _ assumed _ was supposed to be kind. “I only have one problem with this kid.” 

“No.” But Peter peaked over his arm to his father anyway, took in the grey hair and mirth in his eyes and the way his smile softened around the edges to show his gentle and quiet concern. “What?” Because Peter couldn’t think of one thing that was  _ wrong _ with Harry Osborn and maybe if his father told him than he could forget all about his stupid crush. 

“Does it  _ have _ to be Norman Osborn’s offspring?” 

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Harry:** i have doughnuts!

**Harry:** [Doughnuts](https://pin.it/3mSo1XM)

**Harry:** i am in fried food heaven

**Peter:** idk why

**Peter:** but the idea of you loving doughnuts

**Peter:** is like throwing me way off here

**Harry:** i love doughnuts

**Peter:** i don’t blame you

**Peter:** they’re really great

**Harry:** so Cas took me to meet an art restorer earlier

**Peter:** that sounds

**Peter:** cool? 

**Peter:** fitting for you for some reason

**Peter:** sorry if i’m off today

**Peter:** i’m not feeling great 

**Harry:** oh boo

**Harry:** tell me you’re at least resting plenty

**Peter:** oh yeah

**Peter:** mom and dad called me out of school 

**Peter:** so i’m chillin with Magoo 

**Peter:** we’re watching Scooby Doo

**Harry:** never seen it

**Peter:** you

**Harry:** but anyway

**Harry:** so she took me with her cuz it’s like my  _ dream job _

**Harry:** but like

**Harry:** the guy’s like  _ super old _ and  _ very  _ French

**Harry:** and he showed me this really really cool technique to clean off oil grime with white bread adn

**Harry:** sorry for rambling 

**Peter:** oh god no

**Peter:** keep rambling

**Peter:** this is adorable

**_Pepper_ **

**Pep:** How did the talk go?

**Tony:** It went fine. There wasn’t much to talk about, really. He likes this Harry kid too much for anything I have to say about it to make a difference. 

**Pep:** I’m sure he’s not  _ that _ bad. 

**Tony:** A kid like Peter is going to get his heart broken by a person that’s anything like Norman Osborn. 

**Pep:** Tony

**Tony:** I know, I know. 

**Tony:** Pete’s a big boy and a good judge of character. 

**Tony:** He’s just so  _ trusting _ sometimes. 

**Pep:** And you have a habit of trusting no one. 

**Pep:** Remember when everyone thought the worst of you? Based off  _ your _ name? 

**Tony:** Reserve judgement. I get it. 

**Pep:** How cute is Peter when you tease him about it? 

**Tony:** It’s worse than all of his other crushes combined. 

**Pep:** Oh family dinner tonight is going to be fun. 

**Tony:** [We're just gonna pretend this looks like Peter and Morgan](https://pin.it/4rVCCC2)

**Pep:** My babies 

**Pep:** How’s he doing? 

**Tony:** Cut’s all healed and he’s eaten two full meals today. I’m making him nap with Morgan later though. 

**Pep:** And you. You haven’t slept much all week either. 

**Tony:** Yes, we’re going to have one giant cuddle pile. 

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Peter:** so

**Peter:** my dad knows

**Harry:** oh

**Harry:** uhm

**Peter:** he’s not upset

**Harry:** that

**Harry:** that’s great!

**Peter:** he only asked me once why it had to be you

**Harry:** i mean

**Harry:** that’s fair

**Peter:** no it’s not

**Harry:** Pete

**Peter:** who  _ else _ would it be, Har

**Peter:** i would literally want to be talking to no one else

**Harry:** you’re 

**Harry:** you’re too nice to me

**Peter:** you deserve more than i can give 

**Harry:** i think you might be the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Peter Stark

**Peter:** i think

**Harry:** [Cas Madison](https://pin.it/561HeWE)

**Harry:** Cas and i have been wandering France all day today and just eating shitty food and this might honestly be the happiest i’ve ever been

**Peter:** wait she’s so pretty

**Harry:** [Harry](https://pin.it/7r5KjE4)

**Harry:** she insisted i send this

**Peter:** wait

**Peter:** i think you just broke something in my brain

**Harry:** ?

**Peter:** Harry Metropolis Osborn

**Peter:** you deserve so much in this world

**Harry:** _ Metropolis _

**Peter:** is that  _ not _ your middle name

**Harry:** Peter Spider-Man Stark

**Peter:** _ uhm _

**Harry:** oh i’m sorry was that supposed to be a secret??


	11. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot happened this chapter and literally zero was planned. 
> 
> Translations at the bottom!

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Peter:** i

**Peter:** uhm

**Peter:** listen

**Peter:** _shit_

**Peter:** i’m really bad at secrets

**Peter:** you

**Peter:** you can’t  _ tell _ anyone okay

**Peter:** please i can’t

**Peter:** i was  _ going _ to tell you

**Peter:** it just

**Peter:** it’s  _ delicate _ right

**Peter:** and like dad will  _ kill me _ if he finds out you know too now

**Peter:** i suppose you wanna know how

**Peter:** like

**Peter:** okay i was on a field trip right

**Peter:** to Oscorp actually lmao

**Peter:** _ would you look at that irony _

**Peter:** and i sorta wandered away because i

**Peter:** well i got distracted 

**Peter:** and into this big room with like a ton of spiders and shit

**Peter:** and one  _ jumped  _ on me

**Peter:** _ and i hate spiders _

**Peter:** so i did what anyone would do

**Peter:** and flailed

**Peter:** and i guess it caused the spider to just

**Peter:** c h o m p

**Peter:** and i smacked it and it  _ d i e d  _

**Peter:** and then i ran tf out of there

**Peter:** and said nothing to no one

**Peter:** and got really really sick

**Peter:** and dad got really worried cuz i had a really high fever and passed out on Harley and

**Peter:** well i woke up with like

**Peter:** enhanced senses and powers and 

**Peter:** this is me now like

**Peter:** how can i have these powers and  _ not _ save people with them

**Peter:** with great power comes great responsibility or something like that

**Peter:** it’s something Uncle Rhodey told me when i was like nine and 

**Peter:** so you can’t  _ tell anyone _

**Peter:** seriously like not even your dad

**Peter:** or Marco cuz he’s like your boyfriend or something

**Peter:** no one can know

**Peter:** like even  _ you _ knowing puts you in danger

**Peter:** how

**Peter:** how  _ did  _ you know

**Harry:** there’s a whole lot to unpack there

**Peter:** i mean

**Harry:** like i was making a  _ joke _

**Peter:** n O

**Harry:** and i think you just

**Harry:** came out?

**Harry:** as being a superhero?

**Peter:** _ oh my god _

**Harry:** and think i’m dating Marco which

**Harry:** is for some reason

**Harry:** the most unbelievable part of  _ all that _

**Peter:** but

**Peter:** how is that

**Peter:** _ how _

**Harry:** you said you hated Spider-Man, you live in NY and i don’t know your middle name

**Harry:** you keep  _ odd _ hours, don’t sleep a lot, and your dad’s a literal Avenger

**Harry:** like i had an  _ idea _ but  _ that _ was a joke

**Peter:** _ w h a t  _

**Harry:** i never said it was a  _ funny _ joke

**Peter:** you had an  _ idea _

**Harry:** yeah

**Harry:** your suit is clearly Stark tech and your dad is private enough to not just hand that out 

**Peter:** i 

**Peter:** i was joking? 

**Harry:** no you weren’t

**Peter:** how do you know that?

**Peter:** maybe i was

**Peter:** and was just playing along

**Harry:** no you weren’t

**Harry:** i mean 

**Harry:** it makes sense

**Peter:** no it doesn’t

**Harry:** _ Peter _

**Harry:** just being honest here 

**Harry:** i would have guessed even if you said nothing

**Peter:** the media really ignores how smart you are don’t they

**Harry:** i mean i owuldn’t go  _ that _ far

**Peter:** please don’t tell anyone

**Harry:** who would i tell? 

**Harry:** it’s not like i know that many people

**Peter:** Harry

**Harry:** i won’t tell anyone

**Harry:** ton secret est en sécurité avec moi

**Peter:** your dad can’t know

**Harry:** my dad doesn’t even know my favorite color

**Harry:** why would i tell him  _ your _ secrets when i don’t even tell him  _ mine _

**Peter:** he’s your dad

**Harry:** i don’t know how many times i have to tell you i won’t tell anyone until you start to believe it but i won’t

**Peter:** thank you

**Harry:** you have to get better at denials though

**Peter:** i know

**Peter:** Harley keeps teasing me about it too

**Harry:** as a sibling should

**Harry:** i think

**Harry:** i have none so 

**Peter:** why are you still awake?

**Harry:** i mean i was going to go to bed

**Harry:** but then this guy i know just kinda told me he’s a superhero so

**Harry:** sleep sorta comes in second there

**Peter:** go to bed Har

**Harry:** go save the world, Pete

**_Friendchips_ **

**Peter:** so wanna hear my biggest mess up of the last two days

**MJ:** always

**Ned:** I’m sure it wasn’t  _ that _ bad

**MJ:** Ned do you even know Peter

**Ned:** They’re never _that_ _bad_

**Peter:** no MJ’s right

**MJ:** told you

**Peter:** so i got stabbed on patrol right

**Ned:** omg are you okay?!

**MJ:** he’s clearly alive

**Ned:** alive isn’t the same as okay

**Peter:** yeah i’m gucci

**MJ:** never say that again

**Peter:** lmao

**Peter:** okay so dad picks me up cuz i’m about to pass out

**Peter:** and gets me high on like morphine to stitch me up

**MJ:** you started waxing poetic didn’t you

**Ned:** Pete you should never go on morphine when you’re keeping a secret

**Peter:** _ i know _

**Peter:** so yeah dad knows i’ve been talking to Harry now

**MJ:** what else does he know

**Ned:** about the crush

**Peter:** in  _ detail _

**MJ:** lmao

**Ned:** oh no

**Ned:** how much detail we talking

**Peter:** more than i want my father to know

**Peter:** but nothing like

**Peter:** _mortifying_

**MJ:** so he doesn’t know about your thirst collection on your phone

**Ned:** _ MJ _

**Peter:** fsdfsfji  _ no _

**Ned:** get it’s name right

**Peter:** Ned

**Ned:** it’s called a  _ s p a n k b a n k  _

**Peter:** NED 

**MJ:** Ned you are beautiful

**Peter:** _ ignoring that _

**Peter:** so Harry made a joke 

**Ned:** _he’s so funny and French_

**MJ:** _ he’s funny in so many languages _

**Ned:** _ mean but in a f u n n y way _

**Peter:** i hate you both

**MJ:** don’t hurt Ned that way

**Ned:** yeah don’t hurt me that way

**Peter:** _ he made a joke _

**MJ:** i thought you hated us why are you still talking

**Peter:** about me being Spider-Man

**Ned:** _ Peter you didn’t _

**Peter:** i did

**MJ:** dumbass

**Ned:** how did he take it?

**Peter:** pretty well i guess?

**Peter:** he said he kinda already knew

**MJ:** how are you so smart but so dumb

**Peter:** idk

**Peter:** you’d swear me and Harley are actually related 

**MJ:** Harley’s not as dumb as you

**Ned:** oo burn

**Peter:** exCUSE you

**MJ:** you outed yourself

**Peter:** i outed myself

**Ned:** to the guy you’re crushing  _ hard _ on

**Peter:** yes

**MJ:** i think every day you shock me with how dumb you are

**Peter:** i think i shock myself

**Ned:** he’s not gonna tell anyone right?

**Ned:** like i don’t have to threaten to dox him

**MJ:** Ned he’s famous

**MJ:** what  _ hasn’t _ already been doxed

**Peter:** like  _ that’s _ not a sad thought

**Peter:** no Ned you don’t have to dox him

**Ned:** i will

**MJ:** this is like a marshmallow threatening a gummy bear

**Ned:** _ are you calling me fat _

**MJ:** no i’m calling you fluffy and flammable 

**Peter:** also  _ delicious _

**Ned:** MJ I didn’t know you liked me like that

**MJ:** i hate you Stark

**Peter:** no you dooooon’t

**_Stark Sibling Chat_ **

**Harley:** on this week’s edition of Peter is an Idiot

**Peter:** s t o p

**Nebula:** I think he got teased enough at dinner. 

**Harley:** Nebs

**Nebula:** Murder victim. 

**Peter:** _ the animosity _

**Harley:** w o w

**Harley:** i don’t want to tell you now

**Nebula:** Oh no. 

**Peter:** Nebula are you cranky today

**Harley:** she’s cranky every day

**Nebula:** _ She _ could crush you, Harley Joseph. 

**Harley:** _ i’ll tell dad _

**Peter:** Better off telling Morgan

**Harley:** _ i’ll tell Morgan _

**Nebula:** You wouldn’t.

**Peter:** she’ll force you both into another tea party weekend

**Harley:** i love tea party weekends

**Nebula:** I  _ do not _ . 

**Peter:** anyway

**Peter:** i have done nothing wrong today

**Nebula:** This sounds like a lie but I’ll let you get away with it. 

**Harley:** _ i won’t _

**Harley:** Peter’s obsession made a joke 

**Harley:** and Pete assumed it  _ wasn’t _ a joke

**Harley:** and  _ came out _ as a wall crawler to him

**Peter:** wow bro code means nothing to you

**Harley:** is Nebula not a bro?

**Nebula:** Yeah, Peter. Am I not a bro?

**Peter:** _ well  _

**Peter:** there is no right answer here

**Nebula:** Did he take it all right? I don’t have to book a flight to France? 

**Peter:** no  _ no _ he took it fine

**Peter:** why is everyone ready to fight him 

**Harley:** as Starks we always have to be ready to fight an Osborn

**Nebula:** Plus, you’re our little brother. 

**Peter:** i’m a literal superhero

**Nebula:** And I’m a trained assassin. What’s your point here, PBS? 

**Harley:** omg i forgot about that nickname

**Peter:** please don’t bring it back

**Harley:** _ watch me _

**Nebula:** You’re always ready to fight, yet you’re the most fragile one of all of us. 

**Harley:** someone had to get all of Peter’s repressed rage

**Peter:** i feel attacked by all sides today

**Nebula:** I trust your boyfriend promised not to tell anyone?

**Peter:** not my boyfriend

**Harley:** _ yet _

**Peter:** but yeah

**Harley:** and we can trust that?

**Peter:** ofc

**Harley:** i’m just saying like

**Harley:** he  _ is _ an Osborn

**Peter:** Harley

**Harley:** like  _ should _ we trust him when he says he won’t

**Peter:** _ yes _

**Nebula:** You  _ are _ much more trusting than anyone I know. 

**Peter:** he’s promised not to tell anyone

**Peter:** and  _ i _ trust that

**Peter:** that should be enough

**Harley:** yeah but it’s kinda like

**Harley:** Pete you’d trust a rabid dog

**Nebula:** This is all coming from a place of concern. 

**Peter:** and i recognize that

**Peter:** but it’s really  _ none _ of your business

**Harley:** you’re family

**Peter:** and it’s  _ my _ identity

**Nebula:** You’re right. And we’ll back off for now. 

**Harley:** it’s not that i don’t trust  _ you _

**Harley:** i don’t trust  _ him _

**Peter:** that’s not my problem

**Harley:** it’s not

**Harley:** i can’t believe you just  _ told _ him though

**Harley:** like no attempt to even deny

**Nebula:** That does seem a little dumb of you, Peter. 

**Peter:** _ no one ever said i was smart at this _

**Harley:** lmao

**Harley:** you may not be related to dad biologically

**Nebula:** You do tend to emulate him, though. 

**Peter:** i  _ do _

**Peter:** it’s an annoying trait to inherit

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Harry:** why do you think Marco and i are dating

**Peter:** Harry it’s so late there

**Peter:** go to bed

**Harry:** it’s really important to me that you  _ don’t _ think that

**Peter:** i know you’re not 

**Peter:** you need sleep

**Harry:** i got like three hours i’m good

**Peter:** _ Harry _

**Harry:** Peter

**Harry:** why did you think Marco and i are dating?

**Peter:** idk

**Peter:** it just

**Peter:** makes sense you know

**Harry:** if i knew i wouldn’t be asking

**Peter:** you’re both just so

**Harry:** dating Marco is like me telling you that you’re dating your brother

**Harry:** it’s disgusting

**Peter:** the tabloids say

**Harry:** my life isn’t a tabloid

**Harry:** you  _ know _ that

**Peter:** i know 

**Peter:** i do

**Peter:** and i don’t read them anymore i promise

**Harry:** so what’s the problem here

**Peter:** there isn’t one 

**Peter:** ugh

**Peter:** are we okay?

**Harry:** i’m not dating Marco

**Peter:** i know

**Harry:** i don’t  _ want _ to date Marco

**Peter:** Harry, i know

**Harry:** do you get what i’m saying?

**Peter:** yeah man 

**Peter:** Marco’s not your type

**Peter:** but like Gwen’s your soulmate so

**Harry:** _ omg  _

**Harry:** sei davvero così stupido

**Peter:** i’m not  _ stupid _

**Harry:** Peter

**Harry:** Gwen’s a lesbian

**Harry:** _ painfully _

**Peter:** yeah but you love her

**Harry:** she’s my  _ best friend _

**Harry:** Pete

**Harry:** i am  _ painfully  _ gay

**Peter:** oh

**Harry:** that’s

**Harry:** i  _ need _ you to know that

**Peter:** wow i

**Peter:** uhm

**Peter:** why

**Peter:** wait that sounds mean

**Peter:** i’m bi

**Peter:** _ omg that’s not what i meant to be saying either _

**Peter:** why do you  _ need  _ me to know

**Harry:** i

**Harry:** _ Peter _

**Harry:** are you purposely this obtuse

**Peter:** no this is  _ just _ who i am

**Harry:** i am  _ hopelessly _ attracted to you

**Harry:** and like 

**Harry:** if you’re not that’s fine i won’t push i just

**Harry:** i need to be sure that we’re doing waht i actually think we’re doing here

**Peter:** oh 

**Peter:** i

**Peter:** omg

**Peter:** i

**Peter:** _ s h i t  _

**Peter:** _ fuck  _

**Peter:** i didn’t

**Peter:** i didn’t expect this

**Peter:** omg 

**Peter:** wait this isn’t a bad thing 

**Peter:** i

**Peter:** _ oh my god _

**Peter:** mom’s calling me 

**Peter:** omg

**Peter:** this isn’t over 

**Peter:** don’t

**Peter:** _give me a few minutes_

**Harry:** okay?

**_Gwenasaurus_ **

**Harry:** i think i fucked up

**Gwen:** oh no

**Gwen:** baby?

**Harry:** i think i’m going to go jump off the eiffel tower

**Gwen:** how about 

**Gwen:** d o n t 

**Gwen:** what happened?

**Harry:** i need a hug

**Gwen:** _ honey _

**Harry:** i also need a punch in the face

**Gwen:** nooooo

**Gwen:** babe what happened

**Harry:** why did i have to fall for an idiot

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Peter:** i had to look up how to say this 

**Peter:** wait don’t

**Peter:** don’t say anything yet okay

**Peter:** Je n’ai jamais aimé quelqu’un autant que toi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ton secret est en sécurité avec moi - your secret is safe with me
> 
> sei davvero così stupido - you really are so stupid
> 
> Je n’ai jamais aimé quelqu’un autant que toi - I never liked/loved someone as much as you


	12. Bubble Buddies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is pure chaos
> 
> Translations at the bottom

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Harry:** what

 **Peter:** what?

 **Harry:** _waht_

 **Peter:** uhm

 **Harry:** _w h a t_

 **Peter:** you good, Har?

 **Harry:** i

 **Harry:** _n o_

 **Peter:** oh 

**Peter:** uhm

 **Peter:** did i interpret that wrong or

 **Harry:** je ne peux pas taper

 **Peter:** oh?

 **Harry:** je suis en cours

 **Peter:** what?

 **Harry:** sono a lezione

 **Harry:** クラスにいます

 **Harry:** omfg

 **Harry:** i can’t _english_

 **Peter:** this is adorable omg

 **Harry:** you

 **Harry:** you can’t

 **Peter:** you got this 

**Peter:** just go slow

 **Harry:** you just

 **Peter:** yes

 **Harry:** you _can’t_

 **Peter:** you started this

 **Harry:** _Peter_

 **Peter:** yes that is me

 **Harry:** _estoy en clase_

 **Peter:** oh i understood that one!

 **Peter:** sorry?

 **Harry:** no don’t 

**Harry:** _i can’t scream in class Peter_

 **Peter:** scream?

 **Peter:** do it

 **Peter:** why are we screaming

 **Peter:** stop texting in class you rule breaker

 **Harry:** tu ne peux pas juste

 **Harry:** just 

**Harry:** tu ne peux pas juste dire ça

 **Harry:** _f u c k_

 **Peter:** you take superhero identity in stride but not declarations of feelings

 **Harry:** what makes you think i handled that well _at all_

 **Peter:** you

 **Harry:** _everyone is looking at me weird i cna’t_

 **Peter:** lmao

 **Peter:** pay attention to class

 **Harry:** it’s an _english_ class i’m parctically the teacher

 **Peter:** _well then_

 **Peter:** give them an example of good ol’ American freak out

 **Peter:** wait this _is_ a freak out right

 **Harry:** tu m'aimes?

 **Peter:** how could i _not_

 **Harry:** i

 **Harry:** ce que je suis censé faire avec cette information

 **Peter:** i understood none of that

 **Harry:** _Peter_

 **Peter:** _Harry_

 **Harry:** i can’t

 **Peter:** you can’t what

 **Peter:** good can’t or bad can’t

 **Peter:** cuz like

 **Peter:** i’ve never actually done this confession to liking someone thing

 **Harry:** i

 **Peter:** like idk man _i_ really like you

 **Harry:** hsdfsduhfusdfsifhsidf

 **Peter:** oh

 **Peter:**?

 **Peter:** that explains

 **Peter:** _nothing_

 **Harry:** you’re asking a dyslexic multilingual _asshole_ to explain their emotions to you

 **Peter:** take your time

 **Peter:** i can wait

 **Harry:** _how_

 **Peter:** how?

 **Harry:** how aer you so _parfait_

 **Peter:** stop calling me a yogurt

 **Harry:** omfg

 **Peter:** i know, i’m great

 **Harry:** let’s make this easy, oui

 **Peter:** okie

 **Harry:** i like you

 **Peter:** which is weird but 

**Peter:** _okay_

 **Harry:** shut

 **Peter:** lmao shutting

 **Harry:** you _apparently_ like me?

 **Peter:** can i unshut 

**Harry:** yes

 **Peter:** i don’t like that apparently

 **Peter:** there’s only room for one of us to self deprecating in this relationship and i refuse to have it be you

 **Harry:** une: _relationship_?

 **Harry:** deux: bitch i’ve been deprecating long before you came around

 **Peter:** yeah but i’m older so

 **Harry:** since i’m technically only four does that make you a cradle robber

 **Peter:** sdfhduf

 **Peter:** _omg you’re right_

 **Peter:** can i have Marco’s number

 **Harry:** no

 **Peter:** but

 **Harry:** you switch topics so easy

 **Harry:** it’s so confusing

 **Peter:** oops?

 **Peter:** i wanna send him a picture

 **Peter:** not of me of a pigeon

 **Harry:** _Peter_

 **Peter:** you don’t encourage him so i must

 **Harry:** you must _not_

 **Peter:** if i sent _you_ the picture of the pigeon will you forward it along

 **Harry:** i don’t want a picture of a pigeon

 **Peter:** _but Marco does_

 **Harry:** jfc

 **Harry:** fine

 **Peter:** you’re the _best_

**Harry:** now those are only lies

 **Peter:** _Harry we talked about this_

 **Harry:** what that i’m the self deprecating one of this _relationship_

 **Peter:** no you can’t be

 **Harry:** no it’s very on Brand for me

 **Peter:** let me be the one to hate myself

 **Harry:** have you looked at you?

 **Harry:** literally how could anyone ever

 **Peter:** fsiudf

 **Peter:** _fuck your charm Osborn_

 **Harry:** lmao i win

 **Peter:** no

 **Peter:** no you do not

 **Peter:** because you are _literally_ perfect

 **Harry:** imperfect*

 **Peter:** perfect***

 **Harry:** when are we going to talk about how this is a _relationship_

 **Peter:** when you admit you’re perfect

 **Harry:** so never?

 **Harry:** oaky fine

 **Harry:** _fucking oaky_

 **Peter:** thwarted by the oaky

 **Peter:** [Majestic pigeon](https://pin.it/4CRmvpo)

 **Peter:** _send Marco his pigeon please_

**_Marcolicious _ **

**Harry:** [Majestic pigeon](https://pin.it/4CRmvpo)

 **Harry:** i was told to send you this

 **Marco:** _majestueux_

 **Marco:** thank your boyfriend

 **Harry:** not my boyfriend

 **Marco:** liar

 **Marco:** _he loves you_

 **Harry:** i regret everything that led up to us being friends

 **Marco:** tu es coincé avec moi maintenant

 **Harry:** don’t remind me

 **Marco:** the pigeon is now my background

 **Harry:** your bird obsession is worrying

 **Marco:** non

 **Marco:** les oiseaux sont grands

 **Harry:** diables avec des ailes

 **Marco:** sale monstre

 **Harry:** oui

 **Marco:** wait

 **Harry:** no

 **Marco:** you know what this means

 **Harry:** nO

 **Marco:** conversation de groupe!!!

 **Harry:** _n o_

**_Friendchips_ **

**MJ:** can i embarrass you to your boyfriend

 **Peter:** not my boyfriend

 **Ned:** Your texts say otherwise

 **Peter:** how do you know _what_ my texts say

**Peter:** Ned?

**Peter:** _Ned what are you doing_

**Peter:** _I do not trust this silence_

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**[Admin has added six new members]**

**Peter:** _Ned no_

 **Peter:** _Ned why can’t i leave_

 **Ned:** hi new friends

 **Harley:** i’m not new 

**MJ:** obviously he wasn’t talking to you

 **Harley:** how is that obvious

 **Peter:** _Ned_

 **Ned:** shh

 **Ned:** n e w f r i e n d s 

**Peter:** _i am so sorry_

 **Peter:** my friends are crazy

 **Harley:** i know they are

 **Harley:** who are these new friends, Ned

 **Harley:** i literally know all of you

 **MJ:** timezones

 **Ned:** _oh no_

 **Ned:** i forgot about that

 **Ned:** oops 

**MJ:** he’s not sorry

 **Peter:** _i hate everything about this_

 **Gwen:** i recognize only two numbers here

 **Harry:** _n o_

 **Marco:** conversation de groupe!!!!!!!!

 **Gwen:** that explains so much more than it should

 **MJ:** Ned

 **Harley:** _who_

 **Harry:** Peter why

 **Harley:** _Osborn_

 **Peter:** Harley no

 **Harry:** _Stark_ _#2_

 **Marco:** c'est tellement excitant

 **Ned:** hi new friends

 **Gwen:** there are so many people here

 **MJ:** six is a lot?

 **Gwen:** when you hate people yes

 **MJ:** … 

**MJ:** fair

 **Harry:** mood

 **Marco:** c’est plus de gens que la semaine dernière, Harry!

 **Harry:** impoli

 **Harry:** i know more than six people

 **Harry:** i don’t _like_ more than six people

 **Peter:** _Har no_

 **Gwen:** wait

 **Gwen:** is _this_ Peter?

 **Peter:** yes

 **Harry:** non

 **Marco:** _PIERRE_

 **Gwen:** _Pierre_

 **Peter:** no, Peter

 **MJ:** i already hate this

 **Ned:** my beautiful creation come to life

 **Peter:** Harry, hack our way out of this

 **Harry:** _i’m so tired though_

 **MJ:** Peter you think Ned won’t just put him back in

 **Peter:** but

 **Marco:** Pierre!

 **Peter:** Peter*

 **Marco:** Pierre, mon cher

 **Marco:** cette image de pigeon est magnifique

 **Peter:** Marco? 

**Gwen:** Polo

 **Peter:** _who is who_

 **Ned:** oh yes!

 **Ned:** introductions!

 **Ned:** I am Ned - top friend of Peter

 **MJ:** _bitch_

 **Ned:** That’s MJ - my royal subject in friendship to Peter

 **MJ:** _i will kill you_

 **Ned:** There’s also Harley 

**Ned:** Harley

 **Ned:** @Harley

 **Harley:** no

 **Ned:** he’s like step prince or something

 **MJ:** we tolerate him

 **Harley:** excuse you

 **Harley:** i tolerate YOU

 **MJ:** why do you continuously lie to yourself

 **Peter:** it’s fun for him

 **Harley:** i know where you sleep

 **Peter:** yeah down the hall

 **Peter:** you’re not threatening

 **Harley:** i don’t have to just _take_ this sort of abuse

 **Marco:** i am Marco!

 **Peter:** yes you do

 **Gwen:** Gwen 

**Gwen:** and Harry is here too

 **Marco:** non he is sleeping

 **Peter:** good 

**Gwen:** _you’re so cute_

 **Peter:** what?

 **Gwen:** i ship you

 **Ned:** Same

 **MJ:** i don’t 

**Gwen:** they are endgame

 **MJ:** only if he keeps Peter happy

 **Marco:** Harry is _précieux_

 **Peter:** we’re not doing this fight MJ

 **Harley:** can we?

 **Marco:** non

 **Marco:** you will lose, American boy

 **Harley:** bet

 **Peter:** Harley

 **Peter:** i know how to end you

 **Peter:** it’s really easy

 **Harley:** _don’t you dare, PBS_

 **Peter:** well now i _might_

**Harley:** please

 **Harley:** mercy

 **Ned:** hi new friends!

 **Ned:** sorry for texting so late 

**Ned:** I forgot time zones exist

 **Marco:** pas de problème

 **MJ:** he doesn’t speak French

 **Ned:** I have access to Google translate

 **Harry:** google translate is a bitch

 **Gwen:** you summoned him

 **Peter:** go back to bed, Har

 **Marco:** he is sleeping with the panda

 **Harry:** _Marco_

 **Gwen:** omg

 **Gwen:** that panda had me _screaming_

 **Ned:** How late is it there?

 **Gwen:** we’re six hours ahead of you

 **Ned:** oh cool!

 **Ned:** so it’s technically Wednesday for you

 **Marco:** oui

 **Harry:** nous avons cours à sept

 **Marco:** ne me sermonne pas sur le sommeil

 **Marco:** insomniaque

 **Peter:** You should all probably be sleeping

 **Gwen:** probably

 **Gwen:** but where’s the fun in that

 **Marco:** oof

 **Harley:** i hate to agree with my brother on _anything_

 **Harley:** but you should probably be sleeping

 **Marco:** trop mignon

 **Harley:** i try

 **Peter:** wow

 **Harley:** shut it

 **Peter:** you’re worse at this than i am

 **Gwen:** Marcoooooo

 **Marco:** Gwenasaurus

 **Gwen:** Marcolicious

 **Marco:** oui, belle

 **Gwen:** goodnight you handsome tree

 **Marco:** bonne nuit, reine

 **Gwen:** goodnight new friends!

 **MJ:** you’re disgustingly cheerful

 **Gwen:** you’re so sweet, thank you

 **MJ:** that wasn’t a compliment

 **Marco:** bonne nuit! 

**Ned:** Goodnight!!!!

 **Peter:** night

 **Marco:** do not worry, Pierre

 **Peter:** Peter*

 **Marco:** i will cuddle Harry until you can

 **Peter:** i

 **Peter:** thanks?

 **Harley:** don’t

 **MJ:** wow you really are bad at this

 **Harley:** i hate you all

 **Peter:** you love meeee

 **Harley:** except Ned

 **Ned:** yay!

 **Harley:** Ned has done nothing wrong

 **MJ:** Ned made this chat

 **Harley:** Ned has done One thing wrong

 **Ned:** oh no

 **Peter:** you love meeeeeeee

 **Harley:** no i hate you

 **Peter:** love meeeeeeeeeeeeee

 **Harley:** no 

**Peter:** i’m your favorite brotheeeeeeeeer

 **Harley:** you’re my only brother

 **Peter:** you love meeeeeeeeeeeee

 **MJ:** i don’t

 **Peter:** MJ

 **Ned:** cold

 **Ned:** you need a hug Pete

 **Peter:** yes

 **MJ:** too bad

 **Ned:** Harley hug him

 **Harley:** no i hate him

 **Ned:** awe that sucks

 **Peter:** you hug me?

 **Ned:** no i don’t want to move

 **Peter:** w o w 

**Harley:** fair he’s not worth getting up for

 **Peter:** _w_

 **Peter:** _o_

 **Peter:** _w_

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Peter:** sorry about the group chat

 **Peter:** Ned’s excitable

 **Peter:** but comes from a good place

 **Peter:** if it really bothers you guys just let me know and i’ll get him to take it down

**Peter:** he totally hacked my phone to get your number and then your phone to get Marco and Gwen which

 **Peter:** is a total privacy violation

 **Peter:** and i know how important privacy is to you

 **Peter:** so like 

**Peter:** that really wasn’t cool 

**Harry:** it’s fien

 **Harry:** i’m used to it

 **Harry:** i’m just happy he didn’t accidentally grab my dad’s number

 **Harry:** have a good day

 **  
****Harry:** Cas brought my breakfast and i can die happy now

**Harry:** [Puppy drawing](https://pin.it/3U2JwHm)

**Peter:** the way to your heart is through food huh

 **Harry:** yes

 **Peter:** good morning, sunshine

 **Harry:** suhsuuh

 **Harry:** _stop_

 **Peter:** n e v e r

 **Harry:** morning, chiot

 **Peter:** see i don’t tell you to stop calling me a puppy

 **Peter:** also

 **Peter:** _a r t_

 **Peter:** _p u p p y a r t_

 **Harry:** i painted a panda on Cas

 **Peter:** omg

 **Peter:** why

 **Peter:** wait no

 **Peter:** i wanna see

 **Harry:** lmao

 **Harry:** [Panda](https://pin.it/4PVAnPV)

 **Harry:** she said i could if i learned a song in Russian

 **Peter:** and you learned the song

 **Harry:** for pandas yes

 **Peter:** _adorable_

 **Peter:** is Russian music any good

 **Harry:** it’s… _weird_ but not bad

 **Peter:** wild

 **Peter:** Auntie Nat sings some weird lullabies in Russian and it’s just _creepy_ sometimes

 **Peter:** probably because it’s in the middle of missions usually but

 **Harry:** _i love your aunt_

 **Peter:** i can’t wait until you meet Carol

 **Harry:** _Peter i will die_

 **Peter:** no 

**Peter:** not allowed

 **Peter:** not when i haven’t even hugged you yet

 **Harry:** i

 **Harry:** _okay_

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Marco:** bonjour, amis américains

 **Marco:** [Marco and Harry](https://pin.it/1mR4lgv)

 **Gwen:** good morning, my favorite boys

 **Gwen:** [Gwen](https://pin.it/2G4LgED)

**Ned:** good morning!

 **Ned:** I tried to take a picture with MJ to answer and she broke my phone

 **Harry:** fair

 **Peter:** morning 

**Harley:** hi

 **MJ:** Gwen is the only person I respect

 **Gwen:** awe

 **Gwen:** i respect you too

 **Ned:** [Trio](https://pin.it/5ClSwEa)

 **Ned:** I stole it from our friend Betty

 **Marco:** _mon amis_

 **Marco:** you are all adorable

 **Harry:** no you

 **Peter:** _no you_

 **Harry:** Stark

 **Harley:** _Osborn_

 **Harry:** _better Stark_

 **Harley:** _worse Osborn_

 **Peter:** Harley

 **Harley:** what

 **Harry:** tehre are too many people here

 **Harry:** there*

 **Gwen:** noooooo

 **Gwen:** don’t do that

 **Marco:** ne vous corrigez pas

 **Peter:** hi Harry

 **Harry:** hi Peter

 **MJ:** disgusting

 **MJ:** flirt somewhere else  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> je ne peux pas taper - I can't type
> 
> je suis en cours - I'm in class
> 
> sono a lezione - I'm in class
> 
> クラスにいます - I'm in class
> 
> estoy en clase - I'm in class
> 
> tu ne peux pas juste - you can't just 
> 
> tu ne peux pas juste dire ça - you can't just tell me you like me 
> 
> tu m'aimes - you like me? 
> 
> ce que je suis censé faire avec cette information - what am I supposed to do with this information
> 
> parfait - perfect 
> 
> une: one 
> 
> Deux - two
> 
> majestueux - majestic 
> 
> tu es coincé avec moi maintenant - you're stuck with me now
> 
> les oiseaux sont grands - birds are great
> 
> diables avec des ailes - devils with wings 
> 
> sale monstre - you monster
> 
> Oui - yes 
> 
> conversation de groupe - group chat! 
> 
> c'est tellement excitant - this is exciting 
> 
> c’est plus de gens que la semaine dernière, Harry! - it's more people than last week, Harry! 
> 
> Impoli - rude 
> 
> cette image de pigeon est magnifique - the pigeons picture is magnificent 
> 
> précieux - precious 
> 
> pas de problème - it's no problem 
> 
> nous avons cours à sept - we have class at seven 
> 
> ne me sermonne pas sur le sommeil - don't lecture me on sleep
> 
> insomniaque - insomniac
> 
> trop mignon - so sweet 
> 
> bonne nuit, reine - good night, Queen 
> 
> bonjour, amis américains - good morning, American friends
> 
> mon amis - my friends 
> 
> ne vous corrigez pas - don't correct yourself


	13. November

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are we setting up for plot? Y e s, but I've been doing that all along 😉
> 
> Translations at the bottom :)

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Peter:** i have a present for you

 **Har:** please don’t 

**Har:** i odn’t know how to accept them

 **Peter:** dsjdf

 **Peter:** how about say thank you?

 **Har:** thank you

 **Har:** please don’t

 **Peter:** it’s not a _physical_ present

 **Peter:** i started this conversation off _all_ weird

 **Har:** probably because it’s early morning for you

 **Har:** it’s a saturday why are you up so early

 **Peter:** Morgan wants to make breakfast

 **Peter:** and it’s easier to wake me up than Harley

 **Har:** yikes

 **Har:** can you even cook

 **Peter:** _god know_

 **Peter:** this was a _terrible_ idea

 **Peter:** the kitchen is going to be on fire in 2.5 minutes

 **Har:** or you know

 **Har:** _don’t_

 **Peter:** Nebula’s here 

**Peter:** _thank god_

 **Har:** praise your sister

 **Peter:** i _will_

 **Har:** why are you making breakfast?

 **Har:** special occasion or???

 **Peter:** oh! Yeah

 **Peter:** it’s mom’s birthday

 **Peter:** she’s turning 48 and embraces it fully

 **Peter:** we’re going to play family video games all night

 **Peter:** i can’t wait to beat Harley into the group at Mario Kart

 **Peter:** and then we’ll all lose to Morgan 

**Har:** that sounds great

 **Peter:** what are you up to

 **Har:** oh

 **Har:** waiting on a phone call from dad

 **Har:** but Gwen’s coming in tonight 

**Har:** we’re hiding her in our dorm 

**Peter:** that

 **Peter:** sounds a mix of fun and horrifying

 **Har:** that’s basically my life

 **Peter:** you okay?

 **Peter:** sorry you just seem

 **Peter:** off?

 **Har:** idk?

 **Har:** sorry that’s zero help

 **Peter:** you’re good

 **Peter:** want my present?

 **Har:** no Pete i don’t know how to deal with them

 **Peter:** too bad

 **Peter:** [panda](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842651003985/)

 **Peter:** [panda](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842651003988/)

 **Peter:** [panda](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842651003986/)

 **Har:** _omg_

 **Har:**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Peter:** my pintrest is all pandas now

 **Peter:** because of y o u 

**Har:** you say that like it’s a _bad_ thing

 **Peter:** because it _is_

 **Har:** pandas are fucking superior, Stark

 **Har:** i will fight you on that

 **Peter:** _i’d win_

 **Peter:** i have _enhanced_ strength on my side

 **Har:** i have passion

 **Har:** and _determination_

 **Har:** and i’m really fucking annoying 

**Har:** i’d win

 **Peter:** bet

 **Peter:** anyway i want to bring you to a zoo

 **Peter:** just to see your reaction to pandas

 **Har:** they have _pandas_ at the zoo?!

 **Peter:** yeah at this one in Washington 

**Peter:** we were visiting for some conference

 **Peter:** and mom and dad took us out there

 **Peter:** i was like twelve?

 **Peter:** Nebula had just moved in with us

 **Har:** don’t kill me for this

 **Peter:** never

 **Har:** _i’ve never been to a zoo_

**Peter:** w h a t 

**Peter:** sorry Morgan almost just dropped all the eggs

 **Peter:** _w h a t_

 **Peter:** this must be rectified

 **Peter:** first date bam

 **Peter:** _we’re gonna go to the zoo_

 **Peter:** Har come back

 **Peter:** you can’t just say you’ve _never been to a zoo_ and then disappear

 **Peter:** dropping bombshells and just _leaving_

 **Peter:** living up to you Captain Bitch name

 **Peter:** oh god that sounds so mean 

**Peter:** _i don’t mean it come back_

**Har:** aren’t you supposed to be cooking

 **Peter:** you’re back!

 **Peter:** Nebula said i’m a disaster and kicked me out

 **Peter:** so i’m setting up a morning fire instead

 **Har:** _where do you even live_

 **Peter:** oh

 **Peter:** lmao

 **Peter:** we’re at the lakehouse for the weekend

 **Peter:** mom loves it up here so we all drove up last night

 **Har:** oooooooooh

 **Har:** okay makes more sense

 **Har:** i pictured you just starting a fire in your living room and got very concerned

 **Peter:** nope just setting one up outside

 **Peter:** [fire pit](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/101542166588724902/)

 **Har:** should you eb trusted around fire

 **Har:** since you can’t be around an oven

 **Peter:** rude

 **Peter:** i am Responsible

 **Har:** sure you are

 **Har:** around saving lives and shit

 **Har:** not fire

 **Peter:** not _cooking_

 **Peter:** i’m very responsible around fire

 **Peter:** it’s Harley you cannot trust

 **Har:** lmao

 **Peter:** anyway

 **Peter:** _you’ve never been to a zoo?!_

 **Har:** nope

 **Har:** i think Bernard wanted to take me once

 **Har:** but dad said no

 **Peter:** Bernard?

 **Har:** butler

 **Peter:** wait

 **Peter:** why did your dad say no

 **Har:** zoos aren’t meant for us

 **Peter:** what does that even mean

 **Har:** i think he didn’t want me to come home all hyped on sugar and smelling like animals

 **Peter:** well shit

 **Peter:** i’m bringing you to a zoo

 **Peter:** and hyping you _all up_ on sugar

 **Har:** how’s November in NY

 **Har:** i haven’t been in so long

 **Peter:** changing the topic i see

 **Har:** sorry?

 **Peter:** lmao you’re good

 **Peter:** chilly in the morning

 **Peter:** the leaves are pretty

 **Peter:** how’s it in France?

 **Har:** rainy and cold

 **Har:** probably the same as NY tbh

 **Peter:** you really miss home huh

 **Har:** i love France

 **Har:** and it’s kind of like home

 **Har:** idk it’s weird

 **Har:** i never spend more than a few months in NYC all year but 

**Peter:** but it’s home

 **Peter:** i get it

 **Har:** you would wouldn’t you

 **Peter:** what does that mean

 **Har:** the city must be something special to you

 **Har:** for you to literally risk your life for it every day

 **Peter:** i

 **Peter:** you’re right

 **Peter:** can i just say

 **Peter:** like no offense intended or anything

 **Har:** oh god

 **Peter:** no it’s nothing bad

 **Peter:** i really don’t like your dad

 **Har:** i 

**Har:** i don’t think i like him that much either

 **Peter:** he seems so… 

**Har:** speak of the devil and he shall appear

 **Peter:** what?

 **Har:** un momento

**Har:** well that’s over with

 **Peter:** that doesn’t sound happy

 **Har:** i just had a twenty minute conversation with ym father where he made sure to specify how terribly i’m doing in school and dragging the family name through the mud just because i got an A instead of an A+ on a calculus test

 **Peter:** wait you’re

 **Peter:** you’re not joking 

**Har:** i’m not joking

 **Peter:** _Harry_

 **Har:** it’s cool i’m fine

 **Har:** wanna see a painting i’ve been doing at the museum with Cas

 **Peter:** ofc

 **Peter:** you’re not _fine_

 **Har:** [Harry's art](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842651004528/)

 **Har:** the shading was a pain in teh ass 

**Har:** and the flower was supposed to be purple but i fucked up mixing colors

 **Har:** oo wait wanna see what Cas has been working on?

 **Har:** it looks so awesome

 **Har:** [Cas' Painting](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842651004526/)

 **Har:** the leaves are pissing her off but idk i think it looks great

 **Peter:** _how are you so good_

 **Peter:** mom says she wants one

 **Har:** a balcony?

 **Peter:** a painting

 **Peter:** she says i should make that her birthday present

 **Peter:** but like i already got her one so 

**Peter:** _Christmas_

 **Har:** your mom’s up?

 **Peter:** yeah

 **Har:** get off the phone with me and go spend time with her

 **Peter:** she doesn’t mind lmao

 **Har:** Pete it’s her birthday

 **Har:** i’m sure she wants you all to herself

 **Peter:** she already _has_ me

 **Peter:** we may or may not be cuddling by the fire with a fluffy blanket waiting on food 

**Har:** enjoy your day, Pete

 **Peter:** wait no don’t go away

 **Peter:** Harryyyyy noooo

 **Har:** give her at least an hour

 **Har:** if i had a mom to spend time with i’d be tehre whenever she asked

 **Peter:** mom says you can share her

 **Har:** i have to pick up Gwen anyway

 **Har:** i’ll talk to you later, Pete

 **Peter:** booo okay

 **Peter:** bye, Har

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Marco:** [Gwen](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842651004692/)

 **Marco:** la Reine est arrivée

 **Gwen:** the Mickey is Marco's

 **Gwen:** the ears are my headband for today

 **MJ:** I’m not there

 **Gwen:** awe look at us

 **Gwen:** sharing a crown

 **MJ:** i share with no one

 **Gwen:** but we could be the first out lesbian queens

 **MJ:** i see this

 **MJ:** and enjoy the imagery

 **Gwen:** yay

 **Ned:** wait you don’t all live in France?

 **Marco:** Gwen is from London

 **Gwen:** i took the train in today

 **Gwen:** i’m so excited to stay the weekend

 **Marco:** oui!

 **Ned:** that’s so cool 

**Ned:** i can take the train to get to Boston and that’s too long for me

 **Harley:** why is this chat still active

 **Marco:** bonjour Harley

 **Peter:** lmao

 **Harley:** hi Marco

 **Peter:** you’re impossible

 **Harley:** you know what PBS

 **Peter:** stop

 **Harley:** @Harry

 **Harry:** what

 **Harley:** Peter literally keeps showing me pictures of pandas and i feel like that’s your fault

 **Peter:** _Harley_

 **Gwen:** Harry loves pandas

 **Marco:** oui! 

**Marco:** they are his favorite

 **Ned:** omg that’s so cute

 **Gwen:** isn’t it?

 **MJ:** no

 **Gwen:** i don’t believe that nothing can break your tough exterior

 **MJ:** try me, red coat

 **Gwen:** lmao

 **Gwen:** such a dated reference

 **Gwen:** _i accept that challenge_

 **Ned:** MJ is smiling and it’s scary

 **MJ:** i am _not_

 **Harry:** how was your mom’s birthday, Pete

 **Harley:** why do you know it’s mom’s birthday

 **Peter:** i _told_ him

 **Peter:** she had fun! 

**Peter:** i’ve beaten Harley at Mario Kart ten times so far

 **Harley:** slander

 **Ned:** Harley is so bad at Mario Kart

 **Gwen:** Harry snuck me into his dorm like a pro

 **Gwen:** should we be concerned

 **Marco:** no

 **Harry:** no

 **MJ:** should i be impressed

 **Gwen:** there’s like five security checkpoints on campus and somehow he got by all of them with no one looking?

 **Harley:** probably cuz he’s an Osborn

 **Harry:** i mean partially

 **Marco:** _non_

 **Marco:** tu es si bon

 **Gwen:** yeah don’t you like

 **Gwen:** have something on all of them

 **Harry:** maybe

 **Peter:** i am in awe of you

 **MJ:** keep it in your pants, Stark

 **Ned:** yeah man he’s not even in NY yet

 **Harley:** that is my _brother_

 **Peter:** and i have never been happier to be adopted

 **Marco:** o

 **Marco:** what is it they say

 **Harry:** burn

 **Marco:** _burn_

 **Harley:** wow 

**Harley:** i expected this from everyone

 **Harley:** but Marco

 **Harry:** rip

 **Gwen:** Marco is the meanest of all of us

 **Harry:** excuse you

 **Harry:** i am Captain Bitch

 **Peter:** he is

 **Marco:** je suis plus âgé

 **Harry:** why does everyone feel the need to tell me this 

**Peter:** because

 **Peter:** you _baby_

 **Gwen:** it’s true babe

 **Ned:** ignore that MJ’s the youngest

 **Peter:** no Har’s younger

 **Marco:** _Har_

 **Gwen:** _adorable_

 **Harley:** [Peter](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/856950635333086597/)

 **Harley:** Peter’s a dick

 **Peter:** [Harley](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842649885145/)

 **Peter:** Harley’s a sore loser

 **MJ:** lame

 **Ned:** did he lose to you

 **Peter:** worse

 **Peter:** Morgan

 **Gwen:** [Harry](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/739364463807034559/)

 **Gwen:** [Marco](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/423127327483471460/)

 **Gwen:** if i wasn’t gay

 **Gwen:** i would marry one of these boys

 **Gwen:** and have their babies

 **Harry:** dad would be so happy

 **Marco:** mama would be so happy

 **Peter:** but

 **Gwen:** it’s okay Peter 

**Gwen:** i don’t compare to you at all

 **Peter:** that’s so sweet

 **Harry:** _Gwen_

 **Gwen:** what

 **Gwen:** you two _are_ dating now right

 **Peter:** we haven’t

 **Harry:** _G w e n_

 **Harley:** please say no

 **Harley:** i’m terrible at keeping secrets

 **Peter:** we haven’t talked about it

 **Harry:** Gwen pas ici

 **Marco:** Gwen mon cherie 

**Gwen:** shit sorry

 **MJ:** awkward

 **Gwen:** _anyway_

 **Marco:** we lost Harry

 **Gwen:** we did

 **Peter:** _how_

 **Gwen:** he went to get food 

**Marco:** we cannot leave Gwen alone

 **Gwen:** so he went 

**Gwen:** and i miss him already

 **Peter:** lmao

 **Harry:** i’ve been gone ten minutes

 **Gwen:** sometimes i can still hear his voice

 **Harley:** my life would be less stressful without him in it

 **Peter:** Harley

 **Peter:** back off

 **MJ:** protective Peter comes out to play

 **Ned:** yeah Harley this is a safe space

 **Harley:** i said nothing bad

 **Harry:** so wloud mine

 **Harry:** would*

 **Gwen:** what?

 **Peter:** _Harry no_

 **MJ:** lmao

 **MJ:** mood

 **Peter:** this world would be horrible without you

 **Harley:** don’t lie to him

 **Peter:** _Harley_

 **Harley:** _this is literally just who i am stop hitting me with a pillow_

 **Marco:** Harley

 **Harley:** yes?

 **Marco:** you are cute

 **Harley:** oh?

 **Marco:** but if you are mean to Harry once more we will not be able to be friends

 **Harley:** oH

 **Peter:** how come that works but not me hitting you with a pillow

 **Harley:** you hit hard

 **Harry:** whimp

 **Harry:** Il n’est pas le pire que j’ai entendu, Marco

 **Marco:** tu te détestes assez - tu n’as pas besoin de plus 

**MJ:** isn’t that sad

 **Peter:** i forget you know French

 **MJ:** oh 

**MJ:** btw

 **MJ:** you’re welcome

 **Peter:** _MJ_

 **MJ:** what?

 **Gwen:** can i tell him

 **Harry:** sure

 **Gwen:** Pierre!

 **Peter:** Peter*

 **Gwen:** _Harry’s liked you since he was 14_

 **Peter:** w h a t

 **Harry:** _G e n w_

 **Harry:** _Gwne_

 **Harry:** _jfc_

 **Harry:** G w e n 

**Marco:** ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 **Gwen:** what did you think i meant

 **Harry:** que je rentre pour Noël!

 **MJ:** oh shit Peter will freak

 **Peter:** _i’m already freaking_

 **Harry:** plaese don’t

 **Harry:** please*

 **Harley:** people liked Peter at 14?

 **Marco:** _Harry_ was 14, Pierre was 15

 **Peter:** Peter*

 **Marco:** _Pierre_

 **Peter:** _w h y_

 **Ned:** can i call you Pierre

 **Peter:** Ned no

 **MJ:** Ned yes

 **MJ:** oh and he’s coming home for Christmas

 **Peter:** _omg_

 **Harry:** _jfc none of my secrest are safe_

 **Harry:** can i say nohtnig myslef

 **Harry:** nothing* myself*

 **Harry:** secrets*

 **Gwen:** stop that

 **Harley:** you make a lot of typos dude

 **Peter:** _Harley_

 **Harley:** _what did i say wrong now_

 **Harry:** thank you i try

 **Peter:** dyslexia's being a bitch huh

 **Harry:** isn't she always

 **Harley:** well now i feel like an asshole

 **Peter:** good

 **MJ:** are you not?

 **Gwen:** babe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> un momento - one moment
> 
> la Reine est arrivée - The Queen has arrived
> 
> oui - yes
> 
> bonjour - hello
> 
> tu es si bon - you are so good
> 
> je suis plus âgé - I'm older
> 
> pas ici - not here
> 
> mon cherie - my darling
> 
> Il n’est pas le pire que j’ai entendu - he's not the worst I've heard
> 
> tu te détestes assez - tu n’as pas besoin de plus - you hate yourself enough - you don't need more
> 
> que je rentre pour Noël - That I'm coming home for Christmas


	14. November part two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have run out of creative chapter titles 
> 
> Translations at the bottom!

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Peter:** YOU’RE COMING HOME

 **Har:** don’t freak out about it

 **Peter:** _how can i not freak out_

 **Har:** it’s nothing that great

 **Peter:** no it really is

 **Har:** Pete

 **Peter:** Har

 **Peter:** i get to meet you

 **Har:** you might not

 **Peter:** wait what

 **Peter:** why not

 **Har:** it’s

 **Har:** i’m sorry

 **Peter:** for what

 **Peter:** Harry what are you talking about

 **Har:** i

 **Har:** i’m _sorry_

 **Peter:** Harry

 **Peter:** kinda freaking me out here

 **Har:** here’s the thing

 **Har:** je ne veux pas te blesser

 **Peter:** i mean 

**Peter:** kinda already doing that

 **Har:** no i

 **Har:** _fuck_

 **Har:** dad doesn’t know i’m friends with Gwen right

 **Har:** because friends are 

**Har:** they’re

 **Har:** _what is the wrod_

 **Har:** wrong they’re

 **Har:** not _allowed_

 **Har:** adn _you_

 **Har:** Peter in no world would he ever allow you

 **Peter:** i

 **Peter:** what does that mean

 **Har:** i’m not

 **Har:** you’re a _Stark_

 **Peter:** and?

 **Har:** you can’t tell me your dad’s not upset with this

 **Peter:** dad doesn’t give a shit as long as i’m happy

 **Har:** must be nice

 **Peter:** so what

 **Peter:** you tell me you like me

 **Peter:** i say it back

 **Peter:** and then you’re home and we’re supposed to what

 **Peter:** pretend that whatever we have is nothing

 **Har:** no i

 **Har:** i don’t _know_ , Peter

 **Peter:** well that’s some sort of bullshit, Harry

 **Har:** i’m well aware

 **Peter:** he doesn’t get this control over you

 **Peter:** you’re just going to what

 **Peter:** let him tell you who you can be around forever

 **Har:** that’s not fair

 **Peter:** that’s what you’re doing

 **Har:** it’s not that _easy_

 **Peter:** it _is_ that easy

 **Peter:** i’m not going to be your dirty secret

 **Har:** first of all

 **Har:** i’m not asking _shit_ of you and you need to step the fuck off 

**Peter:** excuse me

 **Har:** no

 **Har:** no i’m not done

 **Har:** secondly - in no world do _you_ get to tell me what to do 

**Har:** you can’t sit here and lecture about the shit my father is pulling and then pull the smae shit

 **Har:** third - you don’t know my life - don’t you _dare_ pretend to understand the crap i would go trhough if i told my father we were even _speaking_ let alone anything more

 **Peter:** you can say this to me 

**Peter:** but not to your father

 **Har:** not all of our parents are Tony and Pepper Stark, Peter

 **Har:** not all of us have the beautiful luck of knowing that no matter what our parents will still give a shit about us

 **Peter:** what are you going to do all Christmas

 **Peter:** be your dad’s mindless puppy

 **Har:** fuck you

 **Peter:** i mean _fuck_ Har

 **Peter:** what is he going to do

 **Peter:** it can’t be _that_ bad

 **Har:** do you know _why_ he sent me to France

 **Peter:** no

 **Har:** he couldn’t _look_ at me 

**Har:** i look too much like my dead mother

 **Peter:** oh

**Peter:** listen

 **Peter:** i shouldn’t

 **Peter:** i _want_ to meet you

 **Har:** i want to meet you too

 **Peter:** but you _can’t_

 **Har:** if i’m seen with Peter Stark 

**Peter:** i get it

 **Peter:** well

 **Peter:** no

 **Peter:** i don’t get it

 **Peter:** and i don’t _like_ it

 **Peter:** but i

 **Peter:** i don’t want to _lose_ you

 **Peter:** and i shouldn’t have been

 **Peter:** i know i’m lucky

 **Peter:** mom and dad don’t care who we are as long as we’re happy

 **Peter:** and i _know_ that’s lucky

 **Peter:** would your father hurt you?

 **Har:** what?

 **Peter:** if he knew we were talking

 **Peter:** if he

 **Peter:** if he knew we were _whatever_ we are

 **Peter:** would he

 **Peter:** you know

 **Peter:** hurt… you

 **Har:** no

 **Har:** i 

**Har:** i don’t _know_

 **Peter:** that’s

 **Har:** he’s never touched me

 **Har:** like

 **Har:** idk what he’d do

 **Har:** disappoint me to death

 **Har:** he doesn’t like 

**Har:** he doesn’t even like Marco

 **Peter:** but he knows about Marco

 **Har:** he knows Marco’s my roommate

 **Peter:** he tracks your location

 **Har:** he likes to know where i am

 **Peter:** Harry

 **Peter:** he calls you at least once a week to tell you that you’re not doing good enough in school 

**Har:** Peter

 **Peter:** it doesn’t seem like he wants a son, Har

 **Peter:** seems like he wants a robot

 **Har:** he’d probably be happier with one

 **Har:** tbh

 **Peter:** i wouldn’t

 **Har:** huh

 **Peter:** i happen to like you 

**Peter:** you know

 **Peter:** as a human

 **Peter:** humans are easier to hug

 **Har:** _Peter_

 **Har:** we were literally fighting twenty minutes ago

 **Peter:** and?

 **Peter:** a fight means we’re over?

 **Har:** no one’s ever 

**Peter:** Harry Osborn 

**Peter:** sometimes you break my heart

 **Har:** i don’t want that

 **Peter:** i think it’s just who you are

 **Har:** i don’t know what that means

 **Peter:** it means 

**Peter:** it means 

**Peter:** _it means_

 **Har:** are you stuck

 **Peter:** it _means_ that when we _do_ meet 

**Har:** Peter

 **Har:** we’ve been over this

 **Peter:** _when we do meet_

 **Peter:** i will literally hug you so much you’ll be tired of me

 **Har:** j’ai dit de ne pas tomber amoureux de moi

 **Har:** je suppose que j’ai oublié de ne pas tomber amoureux de toi

 **Peter:** that’s so much to google translate

 **Har:** don’t worry about it

 **Har:** i would never get tired of you

 **Peter:** i’m really annoying

 **Har:** i kind of like annoying

 **Peter:** when are you coming home

 **Har:** why

 **Har:** going to do something stupid like pick me up from the airport

 **Peter:** would you like me to

 **Har:** more than i’d like my dad’s driver to

 **Peter:** w h e n 

**Har:** you _can’t_

 **Peter:** _i_ won’t

 **Har:** what does that even mean

 **Peter:** you’ll see

 **Har:** _Peter_

 **Peter:** trust me

 **Peter:** no one will know

 **Har:** fuck

 **Peter:** you _do_ trust me right

 **Har:** more than anyone

 **Peter:** then tell me when you’re coming home

 **Har:** December 5th

 **Har:** the flight’s expected in at 1pm

 **Peter:** perfect

 **Har:** you have school

 **Peter:** i’ll figure something out

 **Har:** _Peter_

 **Peter:** _Harry_

 **Har:** don’t do anything stupid

 **Peter:** stupid is my middle name

 **Har:** i’d say lies

 **Har:** but it could be

 **Peter:** it’s not

 **Peter:** my actual middle name is Benjamin

 **Har:** Peter Benjamin

 **Peter:** Harold Theopolis

 **Har:** i like yours more

 **Peter:** honestly

 **Peter:** yours fits you

 **Har:** because i’m rich and pretentious just like my name?

 **Peter:** i mean

 **Peter:** i wasn’t going to say it

 **Har:** you’re ridiculous

 **Peter:** it’s part of my Brand

 **Har:** that’s my thing, Stark

 **Peter:** mine now, Osborn

 **Har:** suhsug

 **Har:** Gwen wants to watch a movie 

**Peter:** so watch a movie

 **Peter:** i’ll talk to you after?

 **Har:** ofc

 **Peter:** maybe we could facetime? 

**Har:** _oaky_

 **Har:** zut

 **Peter:** z u t 

**_IronFam_ **

**Harley:** Peter just went from grinning stupidly at his phone

 **Harley:** to frowning

 **Harley:** to _fuming_

 **Harley:** to looking _sad_

 **Harley:** to grinning like an idiot

 **Harley:** all in like twenty minutes

 **Harley:** and i am Concerned

 **Nebula:** Why did you have to send the list this way? 

**Peter:** _Harley_

 **IronDad:** We’re all in the same room kid

 **IronMom:** it was _adorable_

 **IronMom:** is Harry okay?

 **IronDad:** We care about an Osborn now?

 **Peter:** _dad_

 **IronMom:** Tony

 **Nebula:** Are _you_ okay, Peter?

 **Peter:** yeah i’m good

 **Peter:** guess who’s coming home for Christmas

 **IronDad:** use protection

 **Peter:** _dad_

 **Harley:** _i sent this to the wrong chat_

 **Nebula:** I should have expected this. 

**IronMom:** Tony hahaha

 **Peter:** betrayed on all sides today

 **IronDad:** I will _not_ have an Osborn grandchild born out of wedlock

 **Peter:** _d a d_

 **Harley:** biologically that wouldn’t work

 **IronDad:** Good point. 

**Nebula:** Peter’s face is very red right now. 

**Peter:** i hate this family

 **IronMom:** no you don’t

 **Peter:** i hate everyone but mom

 **IronMom:** awe

 **IronMom:** keep the door open when he comes over

 **Peter:** i retract that statement

 **Peter:** and hate everyone in this family

 **Nebula:** What about Morgan?

 **Harley:** omg that’s the best part

 **Harley:** Morgan asked him what a spank bank was

 **IronDad:** _What_

 **Peter:** _why did you bring that back up_

 **Harley:** karma

 **Peter:** revenge is sweet, Harley

 **Harley:** _what can you do to hurt me_

 **Nebula:** You’re so very dumb, Harley. 

**Harley:** we knew this already

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Peter:** hey Marco

 **Peter:** Marco

 **Peter:** _Marco_

 **Marco:** oui?

 **Marco:** Pierre

 **Peter:** letting that go for now

 **Peter:** my brother is obsessed with you

 **Harley:** _no_

 **Marco:** oh?

 **Harry:** wow

 **Harry:** i mean i knew this but i didn’t think you’d be this cruel, Pete

 **Peter:** he knows what he did

 **Harley:** i’m sorry

 **MJ:** yes Pete drag him

 **Ned:** oooooo

 **Gwen:** _someone has a crush on Marco?_

 **Gwen:** he’s my husband you can’t have him

 **Gwen:** i won’t lose _both_ him and Harry

 **MJ:** why would you want to be married to a man when you could be married to woman

 **Gwen:** you have a good point, MJ

 **MJ:** i know

 **Ned:** Betty says hi btw

 **Peter:** HI BETTY

 **MJ:** hey Betty

 **Gwen:** idk who Betty is but hi

 **Harley:** _perish Stark_

 **Harry:** yeah listen to what you’re telling yourself

 **Harley:** _rude_

 **Marco:** so you like me?

 **Harley:** _Peter_

 **Peter:** he just squeeked

 **Peter:** he called you tall dark and handsome

 **Marco:** i see

 **Harry:** Marco _is_ all of those things

 **Marco:** awe mon cher

 **Peter:** should i be jealous, Har

 **Gwen:** did you forget the part that said he liked you since he was 14

 **Harry:** _Gwen_

 **Peter:** you’re right you’re right

 **Peter:** Marco i won’t fight you today

 **Marco:** so kind of you Pierre

 **Peter:** _or i might_

 **MJ:** _Pierre_

 **Ned:** _Pierre_

 **Harley:** _Pierre_

 **Peter:** i will destroy you Harley

 **Peter:** i have the power

 **Harry:** Pete

 **Harley:** you think you’re so scary, PBS

 **Peter:** _i will send screenshots of your texts about Marco_

 **Harley:** _you’re so scary, Pete_

 **Harry:** Pete

 **Gwen:** Pierre

 **Peter:** w h a t

 **Gwen:** your boyfriend wants you

 **Harry:** Gweneth

 **Gwen:** god i hate my name

 **Harry:** join the club

 **Peter:** yes Har

 **Harry:** eres honestamente más atractivo cuando amenazas a la gente

 **Peter:** _well then guess i'm gonna do it more_

 **Harley:** _i know spanish no_

 **Marco:** lmao

 **Marco:** Harry

 **Harry:** Marco

 **Marco:** je t’aime

 **Harry:** i know

 **Ned:** _StAr WaRs ReFeReNcE_

 **Gwen:** wait you like Star Wars

 **Ned:** _l i k e Star Wars_

 **MJ:** Star Wars is Ned’s wet dream

 **Gwen:** _i love Star Wars_

 **Ned:** MJ marry her

 **MJ:** dope

 **Gwen:**!!!!!!!!!!

 **Peter:** all of our friends are flirting 

**Peter:** i should be concerned but 

**Peter:** it’s kinda cute

 **Gwen:** omg you’re so right

 **Gwen:** Peter

 **Gwen:** i have a present for you

 **Harley:** he deserves nothing

 **Marco:** he introduced us, no

 **Harley:** he deserves one thing

 **Peter:** present?

 **Gwen:** [Harry](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842650916974/)

 **MJ:** i hate that you’re actually really pretty 

**Harry:** oh mood

 **Harry:** did i use that right?

 **Gwen:** awe yes babe

 **Peter:** _dughsudifhsdfuhgis_

 **Harley:** he’s screaming

 **Harley:** into a pillow

 **Marco:** ma chérie, il est séduisant, n'est-ce pas?

 **Harry:** _Marco_

 **Harry:** _Gwen_

 **Gwen:** shhh 

**Gwen:** let your boyfriend thirst

 **Gwen:** oh shit wait have you talked about that yet

 **Harry:** _no_

 **Gwen:** why not

 **MJ:** yeah why not

 **Peter:** none of your business

 **Ned:** too chicken?

 **Harley:** Peter won’t stop screaming

**Gwen:** question

 **Ned:** yes?

 ******MJ:** yes?

 **Gwen:** how do you celebrate Thanksgiving

 **Harley:** turkey and family fights

 **Marco:** is the family fight required

 **Peter:** no lmao

 **Harley:** yes 

**Harley:** Osborn

 **Harry:** shittiest Stark

 **Harley:** _wow_

 **Harley:** do you celebrate Thanksgiving

 **Marco:** oui!

 **Marco:** we have a tradition

 **Gwen:** we _do_

 **Gwen:** it’s why i’m here

 **Harry:** yeah Cas hosts it

 **Peter:** that is so sweet

 **Peter:** oh hey can i call you

 **Harry:** mhm

 **Harley:** disgusting

 **MJ:** that’s my thing you can’t do that

 **Ned:** yeah Harley

 **Marco:** yeah Harley

 **Harley:** _you too_?

Gwen had known Harry for a long time - they had met at twelve in Prague and been friends ever since and they clicked in a way that Gwen had never clicked with anyone before. In another world, in another life, Gwen was sure they would have been together forever. As it was, she had figured herself adept at understanding Harry’s facial expressions and subtle changes to his body language. Earlier he had been tense and worried - had thrown his phone down and buried his emotions behind a blank mask of indifference that Gwen _hated_ that he had crafted at so young. 

Marco and Harry’s room had evidence of decorating for the holiday - they had hung up string lights around the ceiling of their room, Harry had provided a small table sized Christmas tree on their television stand, and Marco had a foam snowman his little cousin had made him in the corner. Gwen had spent the night with Harry, curled around him under his stupidly expensive soft bedsheets and knew that she was, perhaps, one of the luckiest girls in the world. She wasn’t dumb - she had read and been told one too many times how _lucky_ she was to get to spend so much intimate and personal time with Harry Osborn. Many girls in the world would kill to be in her place. 

To Gwen, she had spent the time with him simply because she knew he had no one else but her and Marco (and perhaps, Cas - he would ever allow her) to receive any sort of affection from. He was tough on the outside, would never ask for it, but once she offered up her presence he was melting into her side. She had fallen asleep against his chest simply because he had held her too tightly to let go. Platonic cuddles were the best, though and Gwen would be lying if she said Harry wasn’t _excellent_ at it. 

She would be lying if she said she hadn’t originally trusted Peter Stark. For the most part, no matter how wrong it was, she had judged him off the merits of his father. It was no mistake to say that Tony Stark and Norman Osborn were vocal about their dislike for each other. When Harry had first told her _who_ he had befriended Gwen was worried that Peter would be exactly what everyone else had been to Harry - vain, heartbreaking, and manipulative. So far though, she had only seen her friend start to come out of his own shell. He laughed more, joked more, _slipped up_ more. 

“Have you been ice skating?” The electronic Peter was saying through the phone - small, handsome and stupidly attractive. They made a stunning couple, Gwen thought, Harry light where Peter was dark. “They set it up in Central Park every winter.” 

“I’ve seen that on the news.” That was another thing, Gwen noticed. Harry didn’t mask his accent when he talked to Peter. 

“I like him.” Marco whispered in her ear and rested his head on Gwen’s shoulder. 

“I think I do too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> je ne veux pas te blesser - I don’t want to hurt you
> 
> j’ai dit de ne pas tomber amoureux de moi - I told you not to fall in love with me
> 
> je suppose que j’ai oublié de ne pas tomber amoureux de toi - I guess I forgot not to fall in love with you
> 
> zut - darn
> 
> eres honestamente más atractivo cuando amenazas a la gente - You are honestly more attractive when you threaten people
> 
> je t’aime - I love you
> 
> ma chérie, il est séduisant, n'est-ce pas - my darling, he is attractive, isn't he


	15. December 5th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The elusive chapter 15
> 
> Fluff warning!

**_December 5th_ **

Harry had spent a good time of his life on planes - he knew flight attendants by name, had a preferred company he liked to fly with, and had a membership to the luxury waiting area in the Paris airport. 

He still  _ hated _ them. 

They were busy and loud and  _ lonely _ even with so many people around. He wore a winter hat low over his ears and a pair of comfy jeans, the sleeves of his sweater pulled low over his hands and fingers on his right hand toying with the bracelet Gwen had made him years ago on his left. He had no one sitting beside him on the plane - luckily - and his carryon fit perfectly under the seat in front of him. Harry sat himself sideways once the seatbelt light turned off, headphones in his ears and soft music pumping against his ear drums. 

When he was younger his father used to come to France to meet him at the airport - a child his age wasn’t allowed to travel alone, no matter how much money Norman tossed at the controlling government officials. Norman didn’t necessarily  _ want _ to pick Harry up but flights were the closest Harry had ever been allowed to  _ get  _ to his father. Norman would let him pick the movie they watched, would get him a treat from the bakery in the airport, and put his arm around him and let him cuddle into his side. Perhaps it was only because of all the people around them that could see, but it was only a plane that Harry thought that Norman ever knew how to be a father. 

He never slept on planes, paid extra for the wifi, and the flight attendant - Marilyn (she  _ always _ worked the entire month of December) - kept him awake with a steady supply of both water  _ and _ tea.Harry didn’t consider himself a naturally anxious person - he always packed a sketch book to keep his time occupied, brought homework to distract his mind, and knew a ridiculous amount of breathing exercises. Gwen would laugh at him and Marco would give him that  _ look _ that Harry was intimately aware was a challenge to prove that he wasn’t an anxious person. Anxious... Harry supposed he was. This time. 

It wasn’t the  _ flight _ that was making him anxious though. The dull hum of the engine was like a lullaby and he had grown so accustomed to the sound the intercom made whenever the pilot decided to radio to the passengers. It was… well he had never been  _ excited _ to go home before. 

New York was loud and bustling and  _ busy _ in a way that Paris lacked. It was neon lights and a  _ thick  _ accent and cars honking in the language that only New Yorkers understood. It was an overabundance of pigeons (Marco would be in  _ heaven _ ), street food, and a shocking amount of masked vigilantes. It was a breath of fresh air that tugged at his lungs and a humidity so deep that it made him want to collapse into the pavement under its pressure. 

New York was all of the above but… it was also something else all together. It was the weight of his father’s hands on his shoulders. It was an accent forced around the curl of his tongue that felt foreign against his throat. It was reading everything slow and calculated and quadruple checking anything for spelling errors. It was radio silence on his end to his friends  _ just in case _ his father decided to check his phone and stuffy suits that felt like camouflage against his arms. It was a Christmas without a tree and posing for pictures and meeting with a board of directors about what he needed to  _ improve _ in order to step into his inevitable position of CEO once his father either retired or died. 

Harry had expected all of that - he was  _ used  _ to it and prepared for it and had been through that cycle so many times that it felt like sliding back into a pair of worn shoes. But things had changed in the last few months because New York was now something completely different.

New York….

New York was also  _ Peter _ . 

New York was  _ Spider-Man _ who actually  _ was _ Peter (and wasn’t that a shock of cold fire up the center of his stomach. Harry still wasn’t sure if it instilled him with safety or fear but, regardless, it was something else to be stuffed behind a mask of sarcasm until he could figure  _ that _ out). 

Marco had brought him to the airport, wrapped him in a tight and warm hug and made him promise to stay in contact as much as he could. Harry was lucky - Norman didn’t know French and had no interest in learning it when he had a son that could speak it fluently in meetings for him - and Marco, being his roommate, was the only person Norman deemed appropriate for constant contact. They took most of the same classes, so Harry used the excuse of schoolwork and projects most of the time to keep his father off his case whenever he was talking to Marco. A month without talking to Gwen or Cas would be hard, but Harry had done longer each year during the summer. Marco would keep them updated - he had promised to do so anyway. 

At least with the information Harry  _ wanted _ them to receive. 

Marco was great like that. He didn’t overstep, didn’t push where Harry was uncomfortable, and kept secrets longer than anyone Harry had known before him. There wasn’t much Harry kept from Gwen on principle alone - she would be devastated if she ever thought he didn’t trust her - but some things were best if she  _ didn’t _ know. She was already vocal enough about not trusting his father, Harry wasn’t about to give her  _ more  _ ammunition against him. 

The last time he had seen Cas she had pressed a long, soft kiss to his cheek and held him in close to her body for as long as she could. He had pretended not to notice the tears in her eyes and she had swiped her own finger gently under his own to catch the few that had dared escape. “One more Christmas, Harry.” She had said softly enough that it was only him that heard it. “Just one more.” 

Just one more. 

Well, that was  _ just one more _ before Peter came into the picture. Harry wasn’t about to ask Peter to leave his home - his  _ family.  _ Not when they hadn’t even known each other for that long. 

Still, Harry was selfish and the idea that there was  _ someone _ in New York that would be happy to see him was enough for him to want to say fuck it to all of his father’s plans and expectations and order the driver to take him to Stark Tower instead of the Osborn family home just outside of the city. 

He glanced back at his phone screen and sighed deep enough he felt it shake through his bones. 

**Harry:** i’ll miss you

**Pierre:** have a safe flight

**Pierre:** don’t say this like it’s goodbye, Har

**Pierre:** i’ll see you before you know it

Winter air in New York  _ felt _ different from winter air in France. It was definitely  _ louder _ and busier and it tugged at the strands of hair that had escaped the bottom of his hat. The skies were clear and trees still in the late stages of autumn. The chances that Harry would see any snow in New York before heading back to Paris were slim but Harry wished as he did every year that, perhaps, he would be able to finally see the city he had always considered home draped and muted by fluffy white snow. 

His father’s driver was running late - something about traffic in Times Square - and Harry was torn between waiting or hailing a taxi while tugging on a pair of gloves that a hand reached out and snagged the handle of his duffel bag. Harry had grown up in cities - be it New York or Paris or London or Prague or Rome - and, because of that, he was intimately aware of all forms of thief. He had roughly grabbed onto the handle himself and tried to wretch it away before he even  _ looked _ at who was holding onto it. 

In fact, the first thing he noticed was a bright blue glove lined with black constellations that resembled the inside of a computer. It stood out even more against the brown of the handle and the black of his own leather gloves. Harry blinked, furrowed his brow and looked up. 

“ _ What _ ?” He blinked at the literal  _ superhero _ standing in front of him - or at least a really good impersonator. 

“Hello random citizen.” Except that was  _ Peter’s _ voice. Harry would  _ know _ when he had talked to Peter more times than he could count. He would recognize that voice  _ anywhere _ when it had been his lullaby for the past three months. “You look lost.” 

Harry was torn between shock, frustration, amazement, and blinding happiness. The Spider-Man suit had no one looking in their direction - the citizens of New York were more than a little bit used to costumed vigilantes wandering their city. Knowing that it was Peter under the suit had a laugh bubbling up before he could stop himself. 

Superheroes were cool and all, but their suits really did look a bit like high tech Halloween costumes. “What are you doing?” He asked it with a glance around him - a man in a business suit was yelling at a cab driver and a family was reuniting with their grandfather just mere steps away. 

“Of course I’ll escort you home!” Peter in the  _ ridiculous _ Spider-Man suit said just a tad too loud and moved  _ too quick _ to be anything but superhuman. Harry didn’t exactly have time to stop him even if he wished to - and with his father’s driver on the way Harry  _ should  _ have stopped him. Let it not be said, though, that Harry Osborn was anything  _ but _ a rebel and, really, it  _ was _ an incredibly clever way to make sure that Harry could interact with him. 

How long had he been planning this, Harry wondered. How long had he known  _ exactly _ what he was about to do to work around his father’s weird rules? “Pe-.” 

“Spider-Man.” Peter cut him off quick with a widening of the white eyes on his suit (how did they  _ do _ that). “Hold on tight.” 

“To  _ what- _ ?” He didn’t even have time to think of how forward it was for Peter to  _ already _ be grabbing him around the waist before he was suddenly, literally, swept off his feet and into the air. Peter laughed at the way Harry grabbed onto his shoulders to steady himself and the sound would have made Harry’s heart start pounding if it wasn’t already trying to fight its way out of his chest to get back onto the ground. The wind whipped around his ears - cold against the tip of his nose and curve of his jaw and he nearly lost his scarf if he hadn’t grabbed onto it at the last second. 

Physically, for a normal person, it shouldn’t have been possible for Peter to swing himself on a chemically produced web  _ as well _ as carry Harry’s weight. Yet there he was, doing it as though it weighed as much as a paperclip or a small rock.  _ Fascinating _ , Harry thought before his toes touched the top of pavement and his stomach slammed itself back down from the sky. He doubled over, his bag nearly smacking him in the face, and a French swear spilling from his lips while his stomach threatened to upend all of the tea he had recently consumed. 

“You weren’t like, waiting on anyone right?” Peter had foregone the mask the moment they landed… wherever Peter had brought him and his brown curls were sticking up from where they had been forced to plaster down just moments before. His eyes looked even more brown up close - he had small flecks of green in them in the sunlight - Harry hadn’t  _ known _ that before. When he smiled it was enough to take all of Harry’s breath from his lungs (if he  _ had _ any left after that impromptu flight) and his cheeks were just a little bit red from the chill in the air. 

Harry had  _ always _ known that Peter Stark was attractive but…. 

He straightened, cocked his head and made an impulsive decision he was sure he would regret just later in that day. 

Peter squeaked and stumbled, just a bit, when Harry’s lips - wind whipped and chapped - pressed against his own but he caught himself after a half step backwards and curled his hands around the back of Harry’s jacket. Harry’s fingers curled along the back of his neck and he was artful  _ enough _ in kissing to know to tilt his head to keep from their noses bumping unnecessarily. He was sure his heart had beat itself out of his chest by the time Peter kissed him back - hard and too soft all at once and he whimpered, just a bit, when Harry grazed his teeth over the length of Peter’s bottom lip. He almost bent Harry backwards in an effort to get  _ more _ before they had to pull apart, lungs screaming for air and pupils blown wide. 

“You’re an  _ idiot _ .” He said the words even with a smile and with his arms around the shoulders of Peter’s suit he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to let him go. “How am I going to explain Spider-Man picking me up from the airport?” 

“We’ll figure something out.” Peter’s cheeks were as red as his lips and his tongue flicked over them before he pressed a softer, more gentle, kiss to the corner of Harry’s mouth. “You, Harry Osborn,” he smiled when he pulled away, a coy glint in his eyes. “Are  _ really _ attractive.” 

“I…” He searched Peter’s face for the lie but found nothing but open honesty staring back at him. 

“Welcome home, Har.” 

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Marco:** want to see the cutest picture i have ever received 

**Gwen:** of course

**Gwen:** unless it’s of a bird

**Ned:** y e s

**MJ:** sure i guess

**Harley:** only if it’s of me

**Marco:** sorry to disappoint

**Marco:** [Just](https://pin.it/9MATpu7)[ say](https://pin.it/9MATpu7)[ there's](https://pin.it/9MATpu7)[ n](https://pin.it/9MATpu7)[o](https://pin.it/9MATpu7)[ snow](https://pin.it/9MATpu7)[ and](https://pin.it/9MATpu7)[ these](https://pin.it/9MATpu7)[ jaws](https://pin.it/9MATpu7)[ look](https://pin.it/9MATpu7)[ like](https://pin.it/9MATpu7)[ our](https://pin.it/9MATpu7)[ bo](https://pin.it/9MATpu7)[ys](https://pin.it/9MATpu7)[ 😂](https://pin.it/9MATpu7)

**Gwen:** _ oh my god _

**Ned:** ahhh

**MJ:** things i didn’t need to see

**Harley:** mY eYeS

**Gwen:** @Peter

**Gwen:** how is he? 

**Gwen:** the flight was okay? 

**Gwen:** did he find the chocolate i stashed in his bag?

**Gwen:** i’m keeping good care of the panda baby but he misses his papa

**MJ:** you type really fast

**Ned:** why not ask @Harry? 

**Marco:** non

**Marco:** he cannot

**Gwen:** back home Harry can only text Marco

**MJ:** weird

**Harley:** Marco’s the only one i like

**Ned:** biased

**MJ:** no one asked 

**Peter:** he’s tired but good, the flight was okay just a little bumpy, he  _ just _ did and he  _ smiled _ when i told him that

**Gwen:** Y e s

**Gwen:** how did you get to meet him? 

**Peter:** i have my ways

**MJ:** how was the kiss

**Harley:** _ this is my brother  _

**Marco:** what is your point? 

**Harley:** _ that i don’t want to know this _

**Marco:** so sad

**Peter:** i’ve never

**MJ:** speechless huh

**Marco:** he is a good kisser, no?

**Harley:** how would you know

**Peter:** _ so good _


	16. Titles Are Hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens 
> 
> Translations at the bottom!

**_Roommate (Marco)_ **

**Marco:** bonjour, mon cher

 **Harry:** bonjour

 **Marco:** quel est votre programme pour aujourd’hui? 

**Harry:** Je dois aller au bureau avec dad 

**Harry:** he wants me to meet some of the new board members

 **Marco:** ça a l'air terrible

 **Harry:** ce n’est pas si mal. Janice est gentille de toute façon 

**Marco:** the secretary yeah?

 **Harry:** yeah she’s been working with him since i was like ten

 **Marco:** comment était hier 

**Harry:** the flight was long and boring but i’m used to that

 **Marco:** tu sais que ce n’est pas ce dont je parle 

**Harry:** je veux dire dad était contrarié mais pas trop contrarié 

**Harry:** je n’ai pas eu à le voir jusqu’à près de sept de toute façon 

**Harry:** we went out to dinner

 **Marco:** cesser d’éviter le sujet 

**Harry:** je n’évite rien

 **Marco:** liar

 **Marco:** were you not jet lagged

 **Harry:** i took a nap when i got home

 **Marco:** avec Pierre

 **Harry:** n o 

**Marco:** mais pourquoi ne pas 

**Harry:** il a dû rentrer et Father m’aurait probablement tué s’il avait trouvé Pierre dans mon lit 

**Marco:** nous manques 

**Marco:** mama envoie même son amour 

**Marco:** Toi et Gwen êtes les deux seules amies qu’elle aime 

**Harry:** Nous sommes tes deux seuls amis

 **Marco:** i’m not _you_ Harry, I have friends

 **Harry:** stop lying to yourself

 **Marco:** rude

 **Harry:** that’s me for you

 **Marco:** how is NY

 **Harry:** loud

 **Harry:** seul 

**Harry:** mais je pense que ça ira 

**Marco:** tu vas le revoir

 **Harry:** i don’t know

 **Marco:** would you like to

 **Harry:** obviously

 **Marco:** get creative

 **Harry:** Je ne veux pas risquer ça 

**Marco:** votre père est une personne horrible

 **Marco:** and always at the office

 **Harry:** je jouer son assistant 

**Harry:** yay vacation

 **Marco:** mon cher

 **Harry:** dad’s up i have to go

 **Marco:** text me later?

 **Harry:** ofc

 **Marco:** Plus que 29 jours

 **Harry:** nous ne comptons pas vers le bas ou quoi que ce soit 

**Marco:** pas du tout

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Gwen:** [Gwen](https://pin.it/w4jk7D0)

 **MJ:** you’re out of school already?

 **Gwen:** yeah the term ended December 2nd here

 **Gwen:** private school babyyyy

 **MJ:** lucky

 **Gwen:** when do you get out?

 **MJ:** Christmas Eve

 **Gwen:** ew what

 **MJ:** yeah then back Jan 3rd

 **Ned:** Morning Gwen

 **Gwen:** morning Ned

 **Gwen:** that is a _terrible_ school schedule

 **MJ:** ngl it’s not a picnic

 **Gwen:** i _love_ picnics

 **MJ:** you seem the type

 **Gwen:** what does that mean?

 **MJ:** sunny and happy

 **MJ:** it would be disgusting if it didn’t fit you so well

 **Gwen:** you’re so sweet

 **Marco:** @Peter

 **Marco:** Pierre

 **Peter:** Peter*

 **Gwen:** morning, Pierre

 **MJ:** what up, Pierre

 **Ned:** _Pierre_

 **Marco:** mon ami

 **Marco:** i do not care what you have to do

 **Marco:** but you better see our Harry more than yesterday 

**Peter:** i’m planning on it

 **Gwen:** _yes otp_

 **MJ:** gay

 **Peter:** this feels like bullying, MJ

 **Peter:** you’re a _bully_

 **MJ:** like you’re shocked

 **Ned:** MJ bullying isn’t cool

 **MJ:** you’re worse than i am

 **Ned:** Pete’s just _so easy_

 **Marco:** Harry usually does not have a good holiday

 **Peter:** i can fix that

 **Harley:** Holes? _Really_?

 **Marco:** bonjour, Harley

 **Harley:** morning, Marco

 **Peter:** you really come here just to attack me

 **Harley:** it is my life goal to be the most annoying brother possible

 **Peter:** smh

 **Peter:** you don’t have to try so hard

 **MJ:** that’s half the fun

 **Peter:** _you_ can stay out of it MJ   
****

**MJ:** where’s the fun in that

 **Harley:** MJ’s a true friend

 **MJ:** only to Gwen

 **Marco:** you speak French, no?

 **MJ:** i do

 **Marco:** dieu merci 

**Marco:** English is hard 

**MJ:** mais tu es doué pour ça 

**Marco:** Harry m’a appris

 **Harley:** Peter grins like an idiot whenever Osborn is mentioned

 **Marco:** his name is Harry

 **Gwen:** _Stark_

 **Harley:** i mean literally zero offense

 **Peter:** i thought i was being yelled at there

 **Ned:** MJ

 **MJ:** Ned

 **Ned:** Do you want me to bring you a halo-halo monday?

 **MJ:** _i would be straight for you Edward Leeds_

 **Peter:** Nedward

 **Ned:** Nedward

 **Ned:** want one too Pete?

 **Gwen:** what’s a halo-halo?

 **Ned:** oh!

 **Ned:** they’re delicious

 **Ned:** [Halo-halo](https://pin.it/3dRi2WA)

 **Ned:** they’re like ice cream

 **Ned:** mom, Betty and i made them yesterday

 **Gwen:** omg

 **Marco:** Betty is your beau?

 **Ned:** yeah she’s great

 **Peter:** we love Betty

 **Harley:** Betty is pretty cool

 **Peter:** also yes _please_ Ned 

**Harley:** i don’t get one?

 **Ned:** i only have three

 **Peter:** _i’m clearly superior_

 **Ned:** ^

 **Ned:** i’ve known Peter since before he was Stark so

 **Harley:** this is discrimination

 **Harley:** against the south

 **MJ:** you’re a white man

 **MJ:** you can handle our diverse friend group for a bit 

**Harley:** _gasp_

 **Marco:** you are southern?

 **Harley:** yeah

 **Marco:** where are you from in America?

 **Harley:** Tennessee

 **Harley:** a really small town

 **Marco:** i had to find that on a map

 **Marco:** i only know New York and California 

**Marco:** oh! And Florida man

 **Gwen:** the memes 

**Marco:** oui

 **Harley:** Tennessee is fine 

**Harley:** we got Nashville and that’s pretty cool

 **Harley:** oh and the Tennessee Wildman

 **Marco:**?

 **Peter:** Spider-Man is a cryptid

 **Ned:** lmao he wishes

 **MJ:** Nessie is better

 **Ned:** Bigfoot

 **Gwen:** London has the Spring-heeled Jack

 **Marco:** oh! 

**Marco:** we have the Barbegazi

 **Harley:** Spider-Man is a furry

 **Peter:** _don’t_

 **MJ:** he is

 **Gwen:** _omg Spider-Man is his fursona_

 **Peter:** please 

**Ned:** lmao

**Gwen:** Marco have you heard from Harry today?

 **Marco:** oui 

**Marco:** he seems tired

 **Peter:** he was exhausted when i dropped him off yesterday

 **Gwen:** awe 

**Gwen:** does he have to be his father’s assistant this whole month again

 **Marco:** oui

 **Peter:** i hate that

 **Gwen:** we all do

 **Gwen:** it’s only been like two days

 **Gwen:** but i miss waking up to a good morning snap from him

 **MJ:** why does he have to go radio silent

 **Harley:** i assume it’s a controlling thing

 **Marco:** he would not like us talking about this 

**Gwen:** Pierre

 **Peter:** Peter*

 **Gwen:** _Pierre_ i demand pictures when you see him next

 **Peter:** i gottchu

 **Gwen:** gracias

 **Peter:** de nada

**_Stark Sibling Chat_ **

**Nebula:** Dad just told me something you’ll want to know. 

**Harley:** hi Nebs

 **Nebula:** Harley

 **Peter:** morning!

 **Nebula:** Good morning, Peter. 

**Harley:** he always gets nicer greetings

 **Peter:** i don’t insist on calling her a nickname she doesn’t like

 **Nebula:** ^

 **Nebula:** Guess who is throwing a Christmas party? 

**Harley:** please don’t say us

 **Nebula:** It’s not us. But we _were_ invited. 

**Peter:** _no_

 **Nebula:** Norman Osborn. 

**Harley:** ew do we have to go

 **Peter:** isgishghd

 **Nebula:** Peter clearly wants to. 

**Harley:** that’s it Pete

 **Harley:** that’s your Christmas present

 **Peter:** _i’m okay with that_

 **Nebula:** How did dad take you going out as Spidey to see him yesterday? 

**Peter:** what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him

 **Harley:** Karen’s no snitch

 **Peter:** she better not be since you programmed her

 **Harley:** nah only in dire situations

 **Nebula:** Dad’s not _against_ him right? 

**Peter:** no he’s been really cool about it

**_Pierre_ **

**Pierre:** [Panda](https://pin.it/1Fc7heZ)

“What are you smiling at?” Norman asked it casually enough that it almost didn’t sound like the rebuttal it was meant to be and Harry looked up with a small flush, the quirk of a smile disappearing only once making eye contact with the grey eyes of his father. 

“Sorry, Marco asked something about English class.” Norman never dug if it was Marco - he didn’t _like_ him but he put up with him. Marco came with school and school was the only thing that Norman thought Harry did _well_. 

His voice sounded weird even to himself and the jet lag from the day before was weighing his bones down. The suit he was in didn’t feel _uncomfortable_ but it wasn’t his usual Sunday wear. His fingers twitched for a pencil to be between them and his contacts itched over his tired eyes. He felt weird with his hair slicked back instead of falling against his forehead and he was only thankful that Sundays were his father’s laid back days for attire at the office and he didn’t have to wear a tie. “You look tired.” Norman tilted his head as though just noticing the strain on his son’s face. “Did you not sleep well?” 

Harry paused - he knew his father enough to know that what Norman was really asking was hidden under the guise of a _normal_ question. _Did you sleep well_ was a statement of _everyone can tell you’re not acting like yourself_ . Harry was off his game - he was usually much better at fooling his father. “It’s just jet lag.” An honest answer simply because he couldn’t think of a reason why he would lie. His father’s question hadn’t been what it was on the surface, but Harry’s answer was good enough for both the verbal _and_ nonverbal question that had been posed. 

“It has nothing to do with your rendezvous with Spider-Man?” His father didn’t look at him when he asked it, and stayed bent over the paperwork he was reading - an employment contract he had made Harry type up an hour earlier. 

Harry, however, was suddenly glad that Norman couldn’t hear the way his heart picked up speed at the mere mention of the day before. He had stayed out with Peter for a few hours after the flight and he had never had a better day. Saying goodbye had been difficult after saying hello and Harry had stupidly forgotten about Norman’s strong level of dislike of Spider-Man. English did not have a word to properly describe how Harry was feeling at the moment but the closest thing he could come up with was _panic_. “Non,” Harry said quickly and then stopped and corrected himself. “No. He just wanted to ask about Doctor Connors.” 

Doctor Connors. 

Harry had never been happier that his father employed such sketchy people than he was at that moment. OSCORP constantly had spotlights shining on them for one thing or another but their most recent tryst in the worldwide news hadn’t been a good one. Doctor Connors had been a brilliant man and an even better employee - Harry even remembered working with him in his lab once or twice the year before. He had been kind and fiercely determined to create a serum to regrow limbs and had actually managed to do so but, on a whim (that didn’t seem _at all_ like Doctor Connors, if Harry were to be honest), he had decided to test the drug on himself rather than wait for human trials to be greenlit. 

Peter had taken him down - _Spider-Man_ had taken him down. 

That had been _before_ Harry had known who it was that was under the mask. 

“That’s all?” Norman asked, his voice twisted in a way that Harry hadn’t heard before. 

“Yeah.” Harry shrugged and stopped himself from picking at his thumb nail. 

“Next time you tell him to come to me.” Norman passed the paper back to him. “There are three spelling errors, fix them and then give it to Janice to have it sent out.” 

“Okay.” 

Concern. 

It clicked in Harry’s mind when he was halfway through the second draft of the employment contract and his fingers stuttered over the keys. _Concern_. 

Harry had never heard that from his father before. 

**December 8th**

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Peter:** [Harry](https://pin.it/6KJqeb8)

 **Peter:** @Gwen

 **Gwen:** _yes_

 **MJ:** i hate that he’s _pretty_

 **Gwen:** why

 **MJ:** it hurts my ego

 **Gwen:** Harry is pretty but you’re _stunning_

 **Ned:** she keeps starting and stopping 

**Ned:** did you _break_ MJ

 **Peter:** i bow down to you Gwen

 **Marco:** Pierre, tu es un dieu

 **Harley:** don’t give that ego

 **Marco:** his father does not know

 **Peter:** no 

**Peter:** Norman was in a meeting so i crashed with lunch

 **Harley:** _just swung in_

 **Peter:** _Harley_

 **Harley:** like Prince Charming

 **Marco:** i thought that was you

 **Harley:** _omg_

 **Gwen:** don’t you have school?

 **Harley:** yes

 **MJ:** yes

 **Ned:** yes

 **Peter:** _don’t expose me like this_

 **Ned:** we have an hour though and school’s not far from Oscorp

 **MJ:** Peter’s whipped

 **Peter:** _i am_

**MJ:** [Peter](https://pin.it/45B4Tie)

 **MJ:** Peter’s an idiot

 **Marco:** non he is adorable

 **Gwen:** awe

 **Gwen:** you and Harry fit well together

 **Peter:** _that’s so sweet though_

 **Ned:** Peterrrrrr

 **Peter:** what

 **Ned:** i wanna meet Harry 

**Peter:** _doesn’t everyone_

 **Harley:** no

 **Marco:** oui

 **Harley:** _i want to meet Marco_

 **Marco:** we will meet one day, American boy

 **Peter:** be my date to the Christmas party!

 **MJ:** excuse you

 **MJ:** what am i

 **Peter:** i can have more than one date? 

**Peter:** Harley doesn’t have a date

 **Gwen:** Christmas party?

 **Harley:** i am bringing my self loathing as my date

 **Marco:** _Harley_

 **Harley:** _or Marco_

 **Peter:** Oscorp is throwing a Christmas Party

 **Marco:** c'est étrange

 **MJ:** why?

 **Marco:** Norman does not celebrate Noël

 **Gwen:** yeaaaah we have our Christmas celebration in January with Cas

 **Marco:** Harry usually spends it alone

 **Peter:** that’s

 **Gwen:** it’s just _weird_

 **Gwen:** i’m sure it’s nothing 

**Peter:** ha

 **Harley:** maybe i should change my date to Nat

 **Peter:** ha 

**Peter:** maybe we should invite Spider-Man

 **Gwen:** oo Harry _loves_ Spider-Man

 **Gwen:** he thinks he’s hot

 **Peter:** _w h a t_  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bonjour, mon cher - good morning, my dear
> 
> quel est votre programme pour aujourd’hui - what is on your agenda for today
> 
> Je dois aller au bureau avec dad - i have to go into the office with dad
> 
> Ca a l'air terrible - that sounds terrible
> 
> ce n’est pas si mal. Janice est gentille de toute façon - it’s not that bad. Janice is nice anyway
> 
> comment était hier - how was yesterday
> 
> tu sais que ce n’est pas ce dont je parle - you know that’s not what i’m talking about
> 
> je veux dire dad était contrarié mais pas trop contrarié - i mean dad was upset but not too upset
> 
> je n’ai pas eu à le voir jusqu’à près de sept de toute façon - I didn’t have to see him until close to seven anyway
> 
> cesser d’éviter le sujet - stop avoiding the topic
> 
> je n’évite rien - I'm avoiding nothing
> 
> avec Pierre - with Pierre
> 
> mais pourquoi ne pas - but why not
> 
> il a dû rentrer et Father m’aurait probablement tué s’il avait trouvé Pierre dans mon lit - he had to go home and dad would probably have killed me if he found Pierre in my bed
> 
> nous manques - we miss you
> 
> mama envoie même son amour - mama even sends her love
> 
> Toi et Gwen êtes les deux seules amies qu’elle aime - you and Gwen are the only two friends she likes
> 
> Nous sommes tes deux seuls amis - we’re your only two friends
> 
> seul - lonely
> 
> mais je pense que ça ira - but i think it’ll be okay
> 
> tu vas le revoir - are you going to see him again
> 
> Je ne veux pas risquer ça - I don’t want to risk it
> 
> votre père est une personne horrible - your father is a horrible person
> 
> je jouer son assistant - I get to play his assistant
> 
> Plus que 29 jours - only 29 days left
> 
> Nous ne comptons pas vers le bas ou quoi que ce soit - we’re not counting down or anything
> 
> pas du tout - not at all
> 
> dieu merci - thank goodness
> 
> mais tu es doué pour ça - you’re good at it, though
> 
> Harry m’a appris - Harry has been teaching me
> 
> Gracias - thank you 
> 
> De nada - you're welcome 
> 
> Pierre, tu es un dieu - Pierre, you are a god
> 
> c'est étrange - that's strange/weird


	17. Why Did I Decide to Make Chapter Titles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite chapter to post because it's all prose and requires no formatting which is the devil in text fics. 
> 
> Translation at the bottom!

**December 18th**

“You’re not doing anything stupid are you?” Tony asked from the kitchen and Peter froze with his hand on the doorknob and shared a slightly panicked - and _not_ reciprocated - look with Harley. Morgan was in the living room playing Monopoly with Pepper but her head perked up at the possibility of hearing her father punish one of her older brothers. 

Harley was no help - Harley was _rarely_ much help - and the quirk of his brow told Peter that he would have to come up with an applicable excuse on his own. He huffed and vowed to embarrass Harley in revenge some other time and glanced at his father who, now that it had taken Peter what he considered an entirely too long amount of time to answer, was now looking at him with curiosity brimming in his wised face. “I…” 

“Not today you’re not.” Tony wagged his finger and crossed his arms, hip propped against the countertop. “Where are you going, Pete?” 

He knew what he was doing and Peter _hated_ how easy it was to catch him in a lie. 

There was a reason Peter wore a mask when out as Spider-Man. 

“On a date.” Harley supplied when it was obvious that Peter’s mind could supply nothing. 

“A _date_?” 

Oh god… Tony sounded _ecstatic_. Peter groaned. “No, no, not a date.” 

“A make out session.” Harley corrected unhelpfully. 

“Pep, did you know Peter has a _date_.” Tony raised his voice just enough to gain Pepper’s attention to the conversation she was, no doubt, already listening in on. 

“I don’t have a _date_.” Peter insisted and it sounded weak even to his own ears.

“Hooking up.” Harley winked - Peter didn’t know if the words were directed to causing _him_ embarrassment or causing that _look_ of constipation to cross their father’s face.

Tony flushed. “Don’t do _that_.” 

“I’m leaving.” Peter’s hand closed on the doorknob and he twisted it open. 

“A date! With who?” Pepper finally emerged in the doorway, Morgan’s bare feet pitter-pattering on the floor in front of her to get a glass of water from the sink. 

“No one,” a lie - Peter’s mind helpfully supplied him with. “I’m not going on a _date_. I’m…” He looked at Morgan for inspiration - caught sight of her off center elf ear headband and grinned. “I’m going Christmas present shopping!” He had already gathered all of his presents and his parents knew it, but his words had the desired effect on his youngest sibling and she perked up almost instantly. 

“Christmas presents?” She all but screamed the words and all four of them winced, her high pitched voice cutting right through Peter’s skull. He couldn’t bring himself to regret the excuse, though, not when she started rambling on about her list to Santa and tugging on Tony’s sleeve hard enough he almost dropped the bowl of pretzels he was munching on. 

“Wait up a moment,” Pepper said with a spark of mischievous humor in her eyes. “I need to pick up something for your father still. I’ll come with you and we can grab some lunch at that cafe you liked.” 

And he had thought - _for sure_ \- that he had been in the clear. He shouldn’t have expected to be able to get away with a lie to Pepper Stark - he had _never_ been able to fool her like he could fool his father. She didn’t fall under the charm of big brown eyes as easily as Tony. Harley laughed just loud enough for Peter to hear and didn’t even have the decency to look ashamed for bringing the topic up when Peter shot him a severely damaging look. He was getting _kohl_ for Christmas if Peter had to switch out all his presents himself. “But I need to get yours.” Peter scrambled to hold onto his flimsy excuse even if he knew it was too late. 

“We don’t have to shop _together_.” Pepper slid into a pair of sneakers, grabbed her jacket off the hook and pressed a kiss to Tony’s stubble covered cheek, ruffled Harley’s hair, and tickled Morgan’s side before hustling him out the door. “Besides,” She puffed her hair over the back of the peacoat and smiled that serene angelic smile of hers. “I thought you’d want to get out quicker than the boys were going to let you.” 

Peter deflated. “I’m not buying presents.” 

“I know.” She linked her arm through his and guided him towards the elevator. “Harry’s back in the city isn’t he?” 

Peter shouldn’t have been surprised - it _was_ all over the news. Right next to the article from the Bugle about how Spider-Man had attempted to kidnap the OSCORP heir was an expose about how the company was recovering after Doctor Connors’ recent psychiatric sentence. The picture hadn’t been one that Peter had supplied them with but, instead, one from a shaky surveillance video. “ _Yeah_ .” Tony hadn’t brought it up but Peter suspected that was more Pepper stopping him than him not wanting to. He had been handling the _Harry Osborn_ situation remarkably well in Peter’s opinion. He still teased him at every turn but he also hadn’t bemoaned much after a relation to Norman Osborn much beyond that first day. “Yeah.” Peter couldn’t help the little smile even if he wanted to. Harley _had_ been right just a week ago - whenever Harry was so much as mentioned he couldn’t help the way his heart seemed to stutter in his chest. 

His hair had been as soft as Peter had thought it was and his eyes much more _blue_ in person and he had tasted like tea and pastry and the freshest strawberries Peter had ever consumed. If Harry Osborn was a drug then Peter was already addicted and ever since that first day he suspected that he would never be able to get his fill even if he wanted to. 

Pepper’s look was soft and knowing - the same one she gave him when he had argued that he _hadn’t_ eaten all of the cookies at eight and when he had tried to insist that he _wasn’t_ Spider-Man. “Why don’t you bring him to lunch with us?” She offered and Peter’s heart clenched because of how much he wanted to but knew that he couldn’t. If the media caught sight of it - which they _would_ they followed Pepper _and_ Harry around like vultures - than Norman would find out. And if Norman found out… well Harry _had_ said that he had never gotten violent but that didn’t mean that Peter thought it fair that Harry would have to deal with even a verbal lashing over something so trivial. 

“He…”

“I see.” Pepper rubbed at his arm and her smile turned sad, just for a moment. “You know, if you can ever get him and your father to talk I think they’d have more in common than either of them think.” 

Peter puffed out a breath of air from his nose and smiled a crooked smile at his mother. “Probably.” He agreed. 

“Be careful, okay?” Pepper kissed his cheek and pushed him gently in the opposite direction of her. “Give him my love and text me when you’re coming home so I know when to finish shopping for dad.” 

An overwhelming love for his mother tugged at his gut then. He was so very lucky, Peter thought, to be blessed with parents as loving, accepting, and encouraging as the Starks. Especially after everything that came before them. “Love you, mom.” 

“Love you too, baby.” 

* * *

To say Peter stalked Harry wasn’t exactly completely off the mark - but when Harry was in New York and terrified of Norman finding out his association with Peter he had to make due with what he could. That _always_ led to Peter somehow managing to catch the other boy off guard - it also allowed for the best unobstructed views he could ever get. Saying Harry Osborn was _attractive_ was an understatement - he was a biological marvel. While neither of his parents were _un_ attractive, Harry seemed to have lucked out on the gene pool. He was just an inch or so taller than Peter but Peter suspected that was because of the hair volume more than anything. He was slender, tan, and had so many curves and angles that were sharply cut that sometimes looking at him caused something in Peter to stutter to a stop. 

Harry ate lunch almost everyday in an empty condo - his father back at the office doing _whatever_ it was he did and Harry pretending he had school work he had to do in order to get some breathing room. Or, at least, Peter _thought_ he was pretending. He had yet to ever catch Harry actually doing much more than scrolling through his phone. 

He knocked on the window, laughed at the way Harry’s shoulders jumped and motioned for him to let him in. 

Up close Peter was always happy to see that Harry’s freckles were actually _more_ than simply dotting his nose but also traced their way down the backs of his hands and disappeared into the collar of his shirt. “Hey,” Peter chirped when the window slid open and swung himself neatly inside. 

“You could have been _caught_ .” Harry admonished in a way of greeting. His voice sounded different - Peter had noticed that earlier in the week. He sounded less _worldly_ and more New York. He sounded like _Norman_ did at press conferences - cold and crisp with the fake warmth of a heating pad and artful manipulation. 

Peter _hated_ it. 

He also knew how to _change_ it. 

“Just how uncareful do you think I am?” Peter didn’t bother waiting for an answer, though, instead closing what little space had been between them and stealing Harry’s words in a kiss. 

Kissing Harry was… _indescribable_ . He always let out a little puff of air that brushed against the chill on Peter’s cheek, his hands always hovered before settling either on Peter’s neck, shoulders, chest or back, and he did this _thing_ with his tongue that set off electricity down Peter’s spine. It felt like that moment when Peter had jumped off a skyscraper - that brief pull of freefall before the webbing caught and pulled him back into the air. It was intoxicating and new and _thrilling_. He could spend every second of every day teasing his way into Harry’s mouth and feeling the brush of his teeth over this bottom lip and it still would leave him begging for more. “Hi.” Peter’s breath brushed against Harry’s lips and he watched unashamedly as Harry almost groggily blinked open his eyes. 

“ _Hi_ .” That was more like it - _that_ was his Harry. 

“I missed you.” Peter said it simply because it was a statement of fact, and his heart tugged a little at the way Harry’s forehead frowned as though the words were confusing to him. 

“I… you just saw me a few days ago.” 

“Don’t do that.” Peter’s arm reflexively tightened around Harry’s back to keep him in close and he nosed at the skin of his neck before pressing a soft kiss behind Harry’s ear. 

“ _Merde_.” 

Interesting. “What?” 

“What don’t you want me to do?” Quick recovery but not quick enough. 

Peter had already caught him. “I like it better when you sound like _you_.” 

“What?” 

“What do you want for Christmas?” 

“ _What_ ?” Harry pushed at his chest until he, reluctantly, stepped back and fixed him with a look full of so much confusion that Peter _had_ to laugh. 

“Christmas. What do you want for it?” 

“To not be _confused_ every day by you.” 

“Too high of an order, try again.” 

“You’re enough.” 

“Hmm?” 

“For Christmas. You’re enough.” 

Peter wondered if Harry knew that his words had the ability to make people melt. It was the mark of a supervillain to have a voice that could cause Peter to become a puddle so effortlessly. Peter blushed easily and he could feel it already creeping up the side of his neck. Harry smirked and Peter shoved at his shoulder. “You’re a _menace_ , Har.”

“That good ol’ Osborn charm.” 

“I’m getting Marco a _bird_.” 

“Don’t you dare.” 

Peter kissed him, hard, before he could argue anymore and he felt the way Harry laughed into his mouth and almost melted. 

Maybe he’d steal Harry a panda or an expensive art set or introduce him to Carol or Nat. Or… Harry’s tongue brushed the top of his mouth and Peter’s brain short circuited, all thoughts of Christmas forgotten in favor of pushing the other boy so that his back rested against the fabric of the couch and Peter could then hover above him. 

Sure, Peter didn’t enjoy having to sneak around - he wanted nothing more than to take Harry ice skating in Central Park and scream from the rooftop of Stark Tower that _he_ had claim to him. But he had to admit, there _was_ a certain thrill to knowing something that the rest of the world didn’t. Plus, Peter was a weak man and he would happily take whatever Harry was willing to give. 

And if he accepted, Peter would willingly give him everything in return. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merde - shit


	18. Christmas Eve Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Christmas in July! 
> 
> Translations at the bottom. :)
> 
> Happy birthday ArachnidAsh and censored!!!!

**_ Bubble Buddies _ **

**Gwen:** Happy Christmas Eve!

**Marco:** joyeux Noël

**Harley:** yaaaay

**Peter:** he’s actually excited ignore him

**Harley:** boo you whore

**Peter:** Merry Christmas Eve

**MJ:** merry commercialized death day

**Ned:** damn girl why are you always so  _ dark _

**Harley:** Christmas doesn’t celebrate death MJ

**Gwen:** ^ 

**Gwen:** it’s literally a birthday

**MJ:** _ fuck i fucked up _

**Gwen:** yeah babe you did

**Marco:** it is party day, no?

**Peter:** it is

**MJ:** it is

**MJ:** i have to be Peter’s date

**Ned:** I don’t get to go 

**Ned:** and I am every upset about it

**Marco:** who is your date, Harley?

**Harley:** anxiety

**Marco:** i have heard they are a  _ terrible _ dancer

**Marco:** i would have been better

**Peter:** as adorable as this is

**Peter:** _ what do i wear _

**Gwen:** !!!! 

**Gwen:** omg can i facetime you to pick an outfit

**Peter:** _ please _ i’m terrible at this

**Gwen:** ofc 

**MJ:** match my dress, Stark

**Harley:** _ can i wear a dress _

**Peter:** mom would let you

**Harley:** fuck she would 

**Harley:** god Osborn Snr would freak

**Ned:** Betty says to do it

**Harley:** _ i might Betty _

**Harley:** update

**Harley:** dad said yes but mom said no

**Harley:** this party is going to be a nightmare

**Marco:** when does the party start?

**Harley:** witching hour

**Marco:** three in the morning?

**Harley:** _six at night_

**Ned:** so dramatic

**Ned:** I’m sure you’ll have fun

**Harley:** impossible 

**Harley:** i’m going to be watching Peter eyefuck Harry Osborn all night

**Marco:** there are much worse things than Harry in a suit, mon ami

**MJ:** personally i can’t wait to see Nebula again

**Gwen:** ooo this is an entire Stark event isn’t it

**Harley:** the whole shebang

**Gwen:** how much of a disaster is it going to be

**Harley:** literally the worst

**MJ:** i demand a fight break out

**Harley:** between dad and Norman it’s very possible it might

**Gwen:** make sure our boys don't get caught

**MJ:** done

**Harley:** tell them to keep it in their pants

**Marco:** non

**Harley:** _ Marco why _

**Marco:** seems fun 

**Gwen:** it  _ does _ seem like Harry’s brand of disaster

**MJ:** can i set something on fire at the party

**Gwen:** yes melt whatever ice sculpture there is

**Marco:** i want pictures please

**Harley:** of me?

**Marco:** _ obviously _

**Peter:** he screamed

**MJ:** [MJ](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/851813717004567341/)

**Gwen:** _ wow  _

**Gwen:** _ thank you for killing me _

**Gwen:** _ it is a nice death _

**Gwen:** _ to die looking at something so stunning _

**Ned:** [Betty](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/388154061633153798/)

**Marco:** is that your beau

**Ned:** Yea! This is Betty 

**Marco:** she is beautiful

**Ned:** she really is 

**MJ:** Pepper is keeping the boys off their phones but

**MJ:** [Harley](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842649890410/)

**MJ:** for Marco

**Marco:** _putain il est chaud_

**MJ:** and [Peter](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842650960751/)

**Gwen:** oh wow

**Gwen:** they clean up well

**Ned:** How’s the stuffy rich people party?

**MJ:** there’s a lot of alcohol

**MJ:** and an entire live band playing music

**MJ:** it looks like prom tbh

**MJ:** only more old people and less grinding

**Ned:** wild

**Gwen:** Harry took me to a ballroom once and it was  _ weird _ but also like really cool

**MJ:** i feel like you’d be really good at dancing

**Gwen:** _ i’d hope so _

**Gwen:** since it’s my dream career

**MJ:** you have that  _ look _

**Gwen:** is that a problem

**MJ:** could never be

**Ned:** wow the flirting

**Marco:** _ adorable _

**Marco:** how is Harry?

**MJ:** haven’t seen ginger boy yet

**MJ:** Peter’s ready to bolt if he does though

**Ned:** awe

**Ned:** tease him relentlessly for me please

**MJ:** what kind of friend do you think i am

**MJ:** ofc i will

**Ned:** you’re the best

**MJ:** [Harry - pretend this is taken inside or something lmao](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/570972059007170778/)

**MJ:** found him

**MJ:** Peter swore and spilled his down this lady’s back

**Gwen:** oh wow

**Gwen:** he looks great

**Marco:** _ oh mon dieu _

**MJ:** well i lost them

**MJ:** rip

**MJ:** i’m going to go watch Nebula not so subtly threaten a misogynist 

**Gwen:** have fun!

* * *

Christmas was always a solitary holiday for Harry - in fact he had never bothered to celebrate it outside of France before. When he was younger his father would try the tree and decoration route but, inevitably, Harry would be left alone come mid afternoon Christmas Eve and into the actual holiday. He hadn’t expected anything different so the  _ party _ had awoken something of suspicion deep inside the back of his mind that he hadn’t been able to shake. His father was hiding something but, Harry supposed, he  _ always _ was hiding something. 

“What’s a guy like you doing out here and not inside?” Harry couldn’t help smiling despite himself. Almost a month of sneaking around had made him incredibly aware of where Peter stood in any room that they happened to be in together. He had known the moment the Stark family had arrived even if it was from across the room. He had seen MJ on Peter’s arm - stunning in a long dress and hair in an artful tumble of curls down her back - talking softly in his ear and getting a laugh from Harley instead. The mismatched family of the Starks stood out for more than one reason - Norman Osborn wasn’t the type to invite Tony Stark anywhere and, typically, Tony wasn’t the type of person to accept an invite even if it was extended. 

Harry hadn’t been able to make his way over earlier, Norman had been introducing him to “old” friends all night, but the smile Peter had sent him when their eyes met was enough to make fire flame in his cheeks. He had escaped with the excuse of needing air just moments ago - and, really, the excuse hadn’t been that far off. The air inside was stale and thick from the sheer amount of people Norman had stuffed into one room and Harry hadn’t been in an environment that was suffocating like that since he had sat for his French citizenship test. 

“I needed to breathe.” Peter looked  _ breathtaking _ though. The color of his suit perfectly offset the brown in his eyes, it had started lightly snowing an hour ago and under the moonlight Harry could see the flakes that had already started sticking to the curls of his hair. 

Peter cocked his head in a smile and leant beside him on the banister, their arms brushing and linked his hands in front. “Me too.” He looked at Harry like he was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and when he leaned closer to press the cold air from between Harry’s lips he didn’t stop him even if he knew that he  _ should _ . “Someone stole my breath.” 

“You’re such a _ sap _ .” 

Peter shrugged uselessly and searched Harry’s eyes before smiling that blinding smile of his. “Care to dance, Mister Osborn?” 

“Out here?” Harry raised an eyebrow - his breath was coming in slow white puffs of air and his hands were already starting to turn red from the way the winter chill bit into the tips of his fingers. Peter was sure to be worse - he had told Harry just days ago that it was difficult to stay warm.

[Possibly my favorite version of this song but definitely the one they dance to](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jw0ZfyWmkD0&list=PLvZDEmDXSjbP_9tVA4OMJpG2cSOdEQMRA&index=7&t=0s)

“Come on.” Peter tugged on his elbow, though, glanced behind them to be sure that no one was watching the two of them and guided him off the porch and across the expansive yard. This far from the building Harry couldn’t hear any music playing but from the way Peter was humming it was clear that  _ he _ , at least, could. Peter pulled him to where couples had been posing for pictures earlier under the big, empty white wooden gazebo and Harry nearly slipped on the bottom step. His dress shoes were new and the bottom leather hadn’t been broken in yet - new dress shoes and fresh snow weren’t exactly meant to be mixed. “Careful.” Peter steadied him with ease and fished his phone out of his pocket in the same moment, thumbing through the settings until the soft flow of music was spreading through the speakers. 

He looked nervous when he turned around, a flush coating the tips of his ears - or maybe it was just the cold but the smile on his face was so devastatingly handsome that Harry almost didn’t care how cold he was anymore. “Come here, Peter.” He stepped closer until their toes touched and breath mingled between their lips. 

“I only know how to lead.” Peter whispered as though it was a secret only for Harry’s ears. 

“Luckily for you,” His hand was soft in Harry’s - and fingertips ice cold when Harry settled them on the curve of his waist over his suit coat. “I’m  _ really _ good at following.” 

Peter ducked his head to laugh, settled his other hand in Harry’s own and started a slow and easy shamble between them. It was obvious that Peter wasn’t as practiced as Harry was - he stumbled over his own feet a few times and Harry had to nudge his chin a few times to get him to look him in the eye instead of down at his shoes. He was singing along softly and against the quiet of the snow and the slow sway of the music Harry had never felt a moment so  _ perfect _ as the one he was in. Peter’s arm was grounding and as the music swelled he realized that they were barely moving at all save for a soft sway. Their noses brushed together and Peter’s breath was hot against his lips. 

Peter watched as Harry’s eyelashes fluttered shut, the pull of his lips peaceful and the hand he had laid on Peter’s shoulder wrapping instead around the back of his neck. It was almost unfair how perfect he looked - should perhaps be concerning how just  _ holding  _ him was sending warmth into Peter’s bones. He would be cold all night after this - would have to curl up under a pile of blankets for hours in front of the fire - but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Snow had melted off the tips of Harry’s dark eyelashes - his lips looked so deliciously red and Peter had never felt so  _ whole _ in his entire life. Not even when Tony and Pepper had presented him with adoption papers had he felt so completely overwhelmed with happiness as he did in that moment. 

He had never  _ had _ a perfect Christmas before. 

_ This _ one would certainly take the cake.

* * *

“You’re an idiot.” Harley muttered to him as Peter huddled himself as close to his brother’s side as he could get once Harry was successfully back against his father’s side and the winter chill had settled itself into his bones. If it  _ really _ bothered Harley Peter knew that he would push him away but, instead, he opened himself up more, his arm draped along the back of Peter’s chair and Nebula’s hand rubbing a line of warmth into his shoulder. 

“Was it nice outside?” Nebula asked slowly and she looked beautiful, really, with her hair done the way it was and glitter on the corners of her eyes. She didn’t usually allow Pepper to dress her up, but on special occasions she let  _ only _ Pepper or Nat doll her with makeup and heels and fit her into a dress. 

“C...cold.” Peter shivered despite himself and took the mug of hot chocolate MJ slid across the table at him. “Thanks.” 

She rolled her eyes in response but her lips quirked in a smile. “How’s lover boy?” 

Peter felt his cheeks flush. They had ended up kissing more than dancing as the time went by, but Harry had been as wonderful as he usually was. “ _ Good _ .” Harley rolled his eyes at his predictable response but Nebula did nothing more than pinch his arm to remind him of where he was. 

“Want my coat, kid?” His father’s hand was large and warm on the back of his neck and Peter had  _ never _ been so happy that Tony was innately warm as he was then. He leaned into Tony’s grip and smiled up at the older man. 

“Maybe?” Tony’s lips quirked in a smile in time with a spoon clinking against a glass up on the stage the venue had set up for the band. The room fell into a hush and, obediently, all in attendance looked up towards the stage. 

Norman Osborn was an imposing man - tall and broad shouldered he didn’t look much like his son unless they were standing beside each other. Perhaps it was the way he never smiled that made him look so  _ old _ or maybe it was the way Harry’s blue eyes held innocence within them that Norman’s never did. Still, they looked a pair, shoulder and shoulder, father and son. Harley and Nebula shifted just a bit closer when Norman leaned closer to the microphone to talk. “Merry Christmas Eve, friends, family, and colleagues. My son and I,” he motioned to Harry who, when he smiled, nearly winced. It looked painful to fake a smile the way he was. “Are so thankful for each and every one of you.” 

Norman took a moment to pause and allow his words to sink in and a few tables away someone started an applause Peter didn’t understand and then stopped when no one else seemed to join in. “Someone’s had a little too much free champagne.” Harley muttered low enough only they could hear and Peter felt Nebula laugh just a bit against his side. Tony’s laugh was hidden behind a cough and he didn’t bother shooting a look at his son to tell him to be polite. 

“I have to admit, though,” Norman carried on. “That I do have an ulterior motive for inviting you all to celebrate this holiday with us.” His hand pat Harry on the shoulder and Peter  _ knew _ that face was one of confusion. Harry hadn’t known then,  _ why _ Norman was throwing the party in the first place that was. “Christmas is a celebration of family and  _ our _ family is about to grow just a bit  _ bigger _ .” 

Peter noticed her before Norman even said the next words - she was slender, had a point to her nose, and eyes a familiar shade of blue. Her velvet red dress matched Norman’s light grey suit and she stepped upstage when he welcomed her. 

Harry’s reaction was  _ visible _ even if it was slight. Peter could  _ hear _ the way his breath sucked in sharp and quick. “I would like to  _ formally _ announce that my wife, Emily, and I are going to be renewing our vows on Valentine’s Day next year.” 

“I thought Emily Osborn was dead.” Peter said the words before he could stop himself and Tony looked at him from under the hand that he was using to cover his eyes. His father’s gaze was wide and worried. 

“So did the rest of the world.” Tony agreed and Peter didn’t even  _ think _ before standing up and moving to walk towards the stage. Tony stopped him with a hand on his chest and Nebula and Harley each grabbed an arm. “Not right now, Pete.” 

“ _ He _ thought she was dead.” 

“Pete.” 

Emily had moved from Norman’s side to approach Harry with open arms, her red painted lips spread wide in a smile. Peter strained his ears to hear what she was saying. “I have missed you so much, baby.” Her fingertips barely brushed Harry’s sleeve before he was stumbling backwards and nearly falling down the stairs that were behind him. 

“Harry.” Norman reached out to catch him amidst the claps of the attending families and couples at the announcement but Peter only had eyes for one person as they turned and  _ fled _ from the hall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joyeux Noël - Merry Christmas Eve
> 
> mon ami - my love
> 
> putain il est chaud - damn, he’s hot


	19. Christmas Eve Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter kinda makes things sting less? 
> 
> Translations at the bottom!

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**MJ:** sos

**MJ:** not joking 

**MJ:** Euro crew pick up your damn phones

**Ned:** what happened

**Ned:** @Marco @Gwen

**Gwen:** _ it’s three in the morning _

**Gwen:** Marco has his phone on silent when he’s at home

**Gwen:** what’s happening

**MJ:** bad shit 

**Harley:** Peter’s about to murder someone 

**Harley:** i might help

**Gwen:** this is so many texts for so early

**Peter:** tell me you have Cas’s number

**Gwen:** ????

**Gwen:** yeah?

**Peter:** thank god

**Peter:** call her please 

**Gwen:** what’s going on

**Gwen:** should i be worried

**MJ:** if you consider coming back from the dead worrying

**Gwen:** _ what does that mean _

**MJ:** i’m gonna call you and explain

**Gwen:** fuck

**Gwen:** okay

**Gwen:** is Harry okay

**Ned:** what the hell is happening

**Peter:** later man

**Ned:** okay

**Ned:** if you need anything

**Harley:** we know 

**Harley:** thanks

**Ned:** no problem

The thing with knowing so many languages was that sometimes, when he was stressed or under pressure or feeling  _ any _ sort of strong emotion, was that the words tended to mix in his mind into a garbled mess. He didn’t  _ feel _ panicky even if his hands were shaking and air was hard to find. He was  _ shocked _ but even that didn’t feel like the right descriptor for the feeling coursing through his veins. 

_ Betrayal _ ? 

But that didn’t properly explain it either. 

It felt infinitely worse. 

He was torn between turning around and introducing his fist to his father’s face and screaming into an empty void. He itched to run, yearned to set fire to the whole place and watch it burn, wanted to get behind the wheel of a car and drive at illegal speeds until he either spun off the road or got arrested for not pulling over in time. Gwen referred to these moods as  _ reckless abandonment  _ and Marco called them a  _ good time _ . This was when he did illegal things and started fights and…. Harry was innately attuned to the sound of his father’s footsteps even if he had spent a good deal of his life  _ not  _ hearing them. The sound of clipped heels beside them were unfamiliar and unwelcome. 

And Harry couldn’t think of the  _ word _ to tell her to  _ leave him alone _ . 

“I wanted this to be a surprise.” 

A  _ surprise _ ? 

“A  _ surprise _ ?” He sounded hysterical even to his own ears and every muscle in his back was stretched tight and taut and ready to snap. “A  _ surprise _ is a...a… a  _ chien _ not  _ ma mère étant vivante _ .” 

His father’s face clouded with frustration before a small, lily white hand, pressed against the curve of his elbow to pacify. “Is that French?” She sounded  _ nothing _ like Harry had imagined his mother sounding. He didn’t know when her voice morphed into something resembling Cas’s soft teasing timbre but it  _ had _ and hearing it as anything different was jarring in a way Harry hadn’t expected. “Your father told me you know five languages. That’s impressive.” 

“Sept.” 

“Hm?” 

“Seven. I know  _ seven _ languages.” 

Her smile fell off the edges of her lips and then pulled itself back up in a curve. “Oh, that’s even more impressive baby.” 

“Ne pas…” He faltered. If it was years ago, if he was thirteen and confused and still vying for an approval he would never receive he would have taken one look at this  _ perfect _ and happy family and fallen into the role they wanted him to play. But Harry  _ knew _ what a happy family was now. He knew that this  _ wasn’t  _ a normal one. 

He wished that he didn’t though. He wished he could be thirteen again and willing to be everything his father wanted of him. 

It was funny what just a small bit of rebellion could instill in him. “You  _ told me _ … you  _ said _ that she was… that she was  _ dead _ .” He hoped the words hurt. He hoped the disdain and hatred he felt in that moment were pointed and cutting enough that they would stab into his father’s impenetrable shell and leave him bleeding on the floor. “My  _ whole life _ you let me…. And this…  _ this _ is  _ worse _ .” 

“Harry-.” 

“Hey!” He didn’t know what he expected but it  _ certainly _ hadn’t been Peter Stark slamming himself between him and his father’s outstretched hand and shoving all six foot, hundred ninety pounds of him  _ back _ . “You don’t get to touch him.” 

“ _ Peter _ .” Harry was suddenly incredibly thankful for Harley Stark - he followed only a step behind his brother, put his back to Norman’s purpling face and stood as a barrier between his superpowered sibling and a grown  _ angry _ man. “This isn’t the place.” Harry was sure he wasn’t meant to hear the words but he still did and something unsaid passed between brothers that had Peter’s shoulders slumping back to their normal height. 

He spun around quickly, took one look at Harry’s face and swiftly latched onto his wrist. “Come on.” It was almost instantaneous how a simple touch from Peter could pull the jumbled mess of his emotions into a clear and straight line of  _ hurt _ . Harry stumbled from the weight of it, tripped over his own two feet and sat down heavily on the marble stairs outside the side door. The brisk winter air stung as it filled his lungs, cut through his chest in a painful reminder that he was  _ human _ and Harry wasn’t even sure how he was still breathing let alone producing a steady stream of words that weren’t English from his lips. “Shit.” Peter shivered and it was a full body shake but, regardless, he dropped down on the snow covered steps beside him. “Hey,  _ hey _ ,” his hand was cold against the warm red of Harry’s cheeks and his earnest eyes begged for  _ something  _ Harry couldn’t place. “ _ Breathe _ , Har.” 

_ That _ was why his chest was hurting wasn’t it? That was the reason his heart was pounding in his chest and he sucked in a deep, rattling breath against the wool of Peter’s jacket and choked on air on its way out. “I… I don’t-.” 

“I know.” Peter’s cheek nestled on top of his head and hands held tight as though his arms could keep Harry from collapsing into a thousand tiny pieces against the snow. “I  _ know. _ ” 

The hot splash of tears against his cheek was a startling contrast to the biting cold of the air and he blinked so much that the echo of lights in the distance turned into giant spots of white. He squeezed his eyes tight and turned his face away from the world and prayed that Peter’s shoulder would be enough to keep him from falling apart. 

**_Gwenasaurus_ **

**Gwen:** babe

**Gwen:** baby i know this is terrible

**Gwen:** i 

**Gwen:** fuck babe

**Gwen:** come home

**Gwen:** just  _ come home _

**Gwen:** who do they think they are

**Gwen:** i love you 

**Gwen:** your family is  _ here _

**Gwen:** and we  _ love you so much _ Harry

**Gwen:** _ please _ don’t let them do this to you

**_Stark Sibling Chat_ **

**Nebula:** Mom and dad are handling Osborn.

**Nebula:** Where are you?

**Harley:** trying to keep Peter from freezing 

**Nebula:** I’ll bring dad’s jacket.

**Harley:** good thinking, Nebs

**Nebula:** Which entrance?

**Harley:** back 

**Harley:** near the kitchen

**Nebula:** Do we need a quick get away?

**Harley:** not sure 

**Nebula:** Got it.

Peter didn’t think he would ever get used to hearing Harry cry, let alone  _ feeling _ his shoulders shaking in his arms. He was trembling, shaking all over, and pressing his face so hard against Peter’s neck it was obvious he was trying to hide it. The cold that seeped into Peter’s bones warned him that he wasn’t going to be warm for the next however long and would have to sleep under the warming light Tony had installed in his room when he had first been bitten. It had been a long time since he had last needed that - the suit had a heater and he rarely stayed out for longer than was needed during the wintertime. “Here,” Harley draped their father’s coat over his shoulders and the warmth with it was barely comprehensible. “Y’all should go inside.” He said it lowly enough that Peter was the only one that heard it, but he was sure that even if Harry  _ was _ listening it wouldn’t have registered. 

“P… Probably.” Peter smiled but made no move to leave, instead feeling Harry’s arms tighten around his waist and pull him in closer. He was sure Harry was cold too but he wasn’t sure Harry could  _ feel _ anything beyond whatever hurt he was feeling right now. He was barely speaking words Peter could understand when he  _ was _ speaking. 

“Harry,” Nebula’s knelt behind him, so that her eyes were level with Peter’s, and looked at him when she talked. It was scary - a little bit - how much she knew that  _ Peter _ was the one she had to be cautious with. Harry was fragile but Peter was a bomb waiting to go off, especially where Harry was concerned. “Peter isn’t going to tell you but he’s very cold right now, and we need to move inside so that he doesn’t go into hibernation.” For anyone else it would have sounded like a joke but Nebula wasn’t exactly far from the truth. 

He had played outside with Morgan once in the snow and completely ignored the way the cold seeped into his bones. Peter had fallen asleep by the fire and woke up a week later with terrified and concerned parents, siblings, and Avengers demanding answers. Harry startled at the words, pulled away quickly and turned his face away from Peter’s to wipe at his red cheeks. “I’m sorry.” There weren’t words in the world to describe what that apology pulled from inside Peter. 

“Don’t…” A fully body shiver cut him off and Peter wanted to punch himself for a small moment because of the way that his body betrayed him. “ _ Don’t _ apologize.” 

Still, Nebula’s hand clasped around the top of Harry’s arm and helped him stand upright, and Harley guided Peter with careful and warm hands. They stumbled back inside, and the warm air was instantly soothing against the chill in Peter’s skin. He relaxed despite himself, located his parents and Morgan within a quick moment, and  _ Harry’s _ parents nowhere to be seen. He felt the moment Harley’s hands started rubbing quick lines of warmth down his arms and he quirked a quick smile over his shoulder towards the taller Stark. 

Peter startled at Harry’s voice, broken but not directed towards him as he all but collapsed against the eggshell colored wall. “ _ Cas _ ,” Nebula stood next to him, wordless support in case his legs decided to collapse. Peter stared at Harry’s face, felt rage claw its way up his spine at the way Harry’s eyes shut tight at whatever he was hearing on the other end. If Peter had it in him he could have strained to hear it but Harry deserved privacy and Peter was more than willing to give it when he was talking to Cas of all people. “I want to go  _ home _ .” His breath hitched on the way out and Peter felt it break his heart with it. 

Peter shared a desperate look with his mother and she shook her head minutely. Whatever else he was trying to say it couldn’t find its way out and Nebula didn’t have to try hard to pry the phone from his hand to take over his end of the conversation. “Harley, can we go home and wait for Santa?” Morgan asked and tugged on his sleeve. Pepper hadn’t sent her over from the way she called her name but Morgan was young and couldn’t fully understand what had happened even if she tried. 

Peter left Morgan for Harley to worry about and stumbled forward when Harry’s blue eyes finally looked up at him. “Hey Har,” He spoke quietly when the other boy’s forehead fell against his shoulder and arms wrapped back around his waist. He wasn’t sure if Harry was knowingly rubbing the circles he was against Peter’s back but, even unknowingly, Peter felt the warm trails his fingers left in their wake. 

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Peter:** did you get home okay

**Har:** oui

**Har:** they’re not hmoe yet

**Peter:** i wish you came with us

**Har:** it’s  _ Noël _ , Pete

**Har:** you deserve to spend that with family

**Peter:** Harry

**Peter:** you  _ are _ my family

**Har:** you barely know me

**Peter:** babe

**Peter:** i don’t want to live in a world without you

**Peter:** isn’t your dad going to catch you texting me

**Peter:** not that i’m complaining like i already hate him

**Har:** if he can have a secret wife than i can have a secret boyfriend

**Har:** and would you look at that we both came out on the same day

**Peter:** ha

**Peter:** can i come over

**Peter:** once we put Morgan to bed

**Har:** you were already an icicle 

**Peter:** you won’t keep me warm?

**Har:** je ferais n’importe quoi pour toi 

**Peter:** then i’m coming over

**Peter:** i’m going to cuddle the shit out of you

**Har:** did MJ get home okay

 **Peter:** yeah 

**Peter:** she yelled choice words at your father about business practices before leaving though

 **Peter:** _that_ was funny

 **Har:** ha

 **Har:** i wish

 **Har:** fuck

**Har:** L’anglais est difficile 

**Peter:** then don’t English

**Peter:** you don’t need to

**Peter:** not for me

**Har:** yuo don’t speka much else

**Peter:** google translate 

**Har:** Google Traduction est une salope

**Peter:** did you just call Google a  _ slut _

**Har:** maybe

**Peter:** you’re ridiculous Harry

**Har:** you love it Peter

**Peter:** i mean

**Peter:** you’re not wrong

**Peter:** i’ll be over in 20

**Har:** please saty warm

**Peter:** suit has a heater

**Peter:** i’m omw to cuddle the shit out of you

**Har:** j'ai hâte

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chien - dog
> 
> ma mère étant vivante - my mother being alive
> 
> Sept - seven
> 
> Ne pas - do not
> 
> oui - yes
> 
> Noël - Christmas
> 
> je ferais n’importe quoi pour toi - I would do anything for you
> 
> L’anglais est difficile - English is hard
> 
> Google Traduction est une salope - Google Translate is a slut
> 
> j'ai hâte - I can’t wait


	20. Christmas Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over the clothes sexual content at the beginning and it's kinda referenced throughout. Just as a warning. 
> 
> Emily's story is slowly coming out through the chapters but, essentially, she had Harry and left when he was a baby and Norman crafted the story that she died instead of tell him (and the world) the truth. 
> 
> If Harry seems off just... remember it's been a rough few days for the poor boy. 
> 
> Translations at the bottom!

Harry had fallen asleep an hour into Peter holding him and Peter took the uninterrupted time to memorize him completely. He would be going back to France soon - they only had another week to steal time with one another before it was back to the real world. His eyelashes were a darker red than the rest of his hair - more light brown than anything else and they fanned out across his cheeks against the constellation of freckles that dotted his face. He  _ seemed _ peaceful, even after the horrible night he had just suffered and he gripped tight onto Peter’s hand even in sleep as if to keep him from leaving. 

Peter had arrived in his suit (expressly  _ against _ his parents wishes to not go back out) with the internal heater blasted and, even now, he wore it underneath the heavy comforter on Harry’s bed. He had worn a thermal shirt and sweats over, and it was only under all the layers  _ and _ this close to Harry’s body that he was starting to actually feel warm again. He really shouldn’t have been out - it was well past two in the morning on Christmas Day and Morgan would be up at six in the morning and demanding that they open presents. Harley and Nebula could only keep a secret for so long and Karen would snitch if he started running off next to no sleep again. 

But Peter would be lying if he said that he wasn’t afraid to leave Harry alone. His insistence on returning back to his father’s house had done nothing but hurt Peter’s head. He couldn’t pretend to understand but Harry had looked at him with those  _ eyes _ and Peter had known he wouldn’t have been able to deny him anything. He had still felt like an asshole leaving him behind at the party, though. Kissing him goodbye had been one of the hardest things he had ever done and he had nearly collapsed in the car smothered between his siblings and under the blanket Tony had thrown his way. 

Harry hadn’t stopped him from climbing in his window, though. He  _ also _ hadn’t stopped Peter from kissing him into the mattress either and, well,  _ that _ was perhaps the most fun part of Peter’s entire evening. He had instead called Peter something he  _ thought _ meant stupid in a different language and pushed him immediately under covers to warm up. 

They had never spent a night together before - Peter had never spent the night with  _ anyone _ that wasn’t his family or Ned - and the mere thought only caused him anxiety once silence settled into the room and Harry was fast asleep. He didn’t make it  _ easy _ to avoid the implications - Harry was gorgeous and Peter, despite his enhancements, was only human. Harry slept in athletic shorts that clung tight to his pale thighs and a long sleeve black shirt that proudly boasted the name of the museum Cas worked at. His pajamas didn’t exactly leave much to the imagination. 

Peter shifted closer, fingers trailing lightly over the skin at the top of Harry’s shorts and told himself that he was  _ meant _ to be letting Harry sleep. His head was on his arm, though, heavy and soft and Peter told himself it was only natural and kind to press his lips to the junction between Harry’s neck and shoulder. 

Apparently Harry wasn’t as asleep as Peter thought he was, the hum that pulled itself from his throat sparking a match at the tip of Peter’s senses. “ _ You’re _ supposed to be asleep.” His voice was thick with exhaustion but he only tipped his head farther back to offer up more skin for Peter’s lips to access. 

“So are you.” Peter kept his voice low - if Harry’s parents were back they hadn’t bothered to check in on him yet and Peter didn’t exactly want to give them a reason but the taste of Harry’s skin was intoxicating. 

“How am I supposed to sleep,” Harry shifted himself just a little bit closer under the covers, legs tangling with Peter’s own and hand curling into the hair at the nape of Peter’s neck. “When you’re doing  _ that _ ?” His breath hitched on the way out and Peter licked a strip up his pulse point before scraping lightly over the skin with his teeth. 

“That sounds like a  _ you _ problem.” Peter spoke the words as coy as he could, located the spot behind Harry’s ear he was looking for and couldn’t help the smirk when Harry’s jaw fell open in a gasp. He shifted just so, more on top of him then beside him now, and knew that  _ this _ was exactly the reason why Pepper insisted he leave his door open whenever a girlfriend come over. Thankfully, Harry’s parents weren’t  _ those _ types of people and, well, even if they were Peter had noticed the lock on the inside of the door. 

“You’d rather me asleep?” Harry teased even if he sounded painfully breathless and Peter could feel the way his chest filled desperately for air. “That’s…  _ fuck _ .” Peter rolled the skin between his teeth and he should have expected it - they  _ were _ both teenage boys - but he still didn’t expect the involuntary twitch of his hips that Harry’s hand brushing over his tightened pants brought. “Hello.” He broke away from Harry’s neck to glare up at him but even if Harry’s lips were smirking his pupils were blown wide and tongue peaking out the line of his lips. 

“Shut up.” It took more strength than he expected to not moan loudly when Harry’s warm hand disappeared under his sweats and gripped him through the suit and  _ really _ it was a useless hope that Karen wasn’t recording his pulse or change in body temperature. He only hoped he could delete it before Harley or his father saw it. 

“ _ You _ woke  _ me _ up.” Harry teased but swore in what Peter  _ knew _ was Italian when raised his knee to brush against  _ his _ hardening member. 

“Just this, okay?” Peter didn’t know  _ why _ he felt like he needed the distinction but the need was there. He wasn’t a  _ virgin _ only… well he sort of was and he honestly had no idea what Harry was. It was probably something they should talk about at some point but when Harry’s hand did  _ that _ he wasn’t sure he could speak even if he wanted to. 

He waited until he got a sharp nod before finally kissing him a hand gripping the strands of Harry’s light hair tightly and twisting the strands between his fingertips. The kiss was dirty and desperate, and Harry was ridiculously good with his tongue but, still, when his hand disappeared Peter almost forced it back before he felt it settle on the low of his back and push their hips together. Peter broke away to moan into Harry’s shoulder and Harry was certainly more quiet than he was but with Peter’s hearing he sounded like he was shouting against the blood in his head. 

The fire Harry had sparked earlier was almost white hot in the pool of his stomach and  _ whatever _ it was that Harry had done it was much more than what  _ Peter _ had ever done with another boy before. Or, at the very least, he was simply more  _ good  _ at it than anyone else Peter had ever been with. The way his blood raced through his veins was similar to a fight and Peter  _ knew _ he was thinking only with what MJ called his lizard brain and acting on pure instinct alone. Still, when he came it was with Harry’s name on his lips and in time with his  _ own _ end, messy and stuttering of hips and breath and Harry’s head thrown back against the soft blue of his pillow case. 

**_Marcolicious_ **

**Marco:** joyeux Noël, mon cher!

**Harry:** joyeux Noël, Marco

**Marco:** tu te lèves tôt 

**Harry:** Peter vient de partir

**Marco:** oh?

**Marco:** he  _ did _ ?

**Harry:** not a word 

**Marco:** _ o h _

**Marco:** about time

**Harry:** _ Marco _

**Marco:** lmao

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Harley:** Merry Christmas

**Harley:** Morgan woke us all up at 6am on the dot

**Harley:** and Peter almost got caught climbing back in his bedroom window

**Peter:** don’t expose me like this

**Gwen:** Happy Christmas!

**MJ:** yo

**MJ:** Peter why were you sneaking back into your own house

**Harley:** _ well _

**Marco:** il a été chanceux 

**MJ:** _ lmao omg _

**Gwen:** _ wait i know that word _

**Gwen:** you  _ defiled _ our Harry

**Ned:** damn last night was  _ wild _ huh

**Peter:** guhgudhgidrhg

**Harry:** _ Marco no _

**Gwen:** HARRY

**Gwen:** BABE

**Gwen:** OMG

**Gwen:** YOU NEVER TEXT WHEN YOU’RE HOME

**Harry:** yeah

**Harry:** hi

**Harry:** Pete take a nap

**Peter:** i  _ will _

**Peter:** after breakfast though

**Harley:** Nebs is making pancakes

**Harley:** one does not turn down Nebs’ pancakes

**Marco:** et si ton père t’attrape

**Harry:** who even cares anymore

**MJ:** yeah stick it to the man

**Gwen:** fuck him

**Gwen:** are you okay

**Harry:** i’m hiding in my room all day

**Ned:** but

**Ned:** Christmas?

**Harry:** is a joke

**Peter:** Har

**Harry:** my Christmas is in January 

**Marco:** oui! 

**Gwen:** come home earlyyyy

**Harry:** can’t the flight’s already booked

**MJ:** disgusting

**MJ:** if you need someone to punch someone let me know

**Peter:** hello 

**MJ:** hey Pete

**Peter:** _ hello _

**Peter:** what am i

**Marco:** a good time 

**Harley:** _ no  _

**Marco:** oh mon ami you are sure a better one

**Peter:** _ no _

**Harry:** keep it in your pants, Marco

**Marco:** one of us must

**Peter:** hdsugsdig 

**Gwen:** ooooooooooo _ ooooooooo _

**MJ:** i’m too gay for this

**Ned:** mom says Merry Christmas

**Peter:** hi Ned’s mom!

**Harry:** tout est resté dans le pantalon 

**Marco:** boo tu es tellement ennuyeux 

**MJ:** you two aren’t the only ones that know French you know

**Harry:** i know

**Marco:** oui

**MJ:** just checking

**Peter:** what did you say

**Peter:** why don’t i trust what you said

**Gwen:** you probably shouldn’t 

**Gwen:** they’re terrible people

**Harry:** love you too Gwen

**Gwen:** awe

**Gwen:** i missed you

**Harley:** i’ve seen you entirely too many times for this holiday vacation

**Harry:** same

**Peter:** no such thing

**Marco:** ^

**Ned:** hey @Harry

**Harry:** si?

**Ned:** whatever happened yesterday sucks 

**Ned:** and i haven’t met you but like

**Ned:** we’re all here for you man

**Harry:** i

**Harry:** thnaks 

**Ned:** also i want to meet you

**Harry:** ha 

**Harry:** okay

**Peter:** okay?

**Marco:** Harry 

**Marco:** ton père ne sera pas heureux

**Harry:** fuck him

**Gwen:** i’ve never

**Gwen:** idk whether to be shocked or proud

**Marco:** be safe no?

**Harry:** always am

**_Miss Madison_ **

**Cas:** с Рождеством 

**Harry:** morning 

**Cas:** ah?

**Harry:** доброе утро

**Cas:** It’s so early for you in New York. 

**Cas:** Did you get any sleep? 

**Harry:** yeah

**Harry:** i tried to sneak into the kitchen to get food before dad woke up and failed

**Cas:** Is everything okay?

**Cas:** I’m not against booking a flight there, Harry. 

**Harry:** yeah 

**Harry:** yeah i’m fine

**Harry:** he tried to ask about Peter and 

**Harry:** nvm

**Cas:** Darling, no. 

**Cas:** What happened?

**Cas:** He didn’t say anything terrible did he?

**Harry:** no no not 

**Harry:** not really

**Harry:** on the scale of 1-10 on Norman’s shit scale it was about a six

**Cas:** That’s not reassuring.

**Harry:** he asked me how i knew him 

**Cas:** And?

**Harry:** and i didn’t feel like lying

**Cas:** Darling

**Harry:** he didn’t say anything  _ bad _

**Harry:** or well

**Harry:** he might have

**Harry:** i just didn’t bother staying

**Cas:** You’re having a terrible holiday aren’t you?

**Harry:** _ yes _

**Cas:** Are you  _ sure _ you don’t want me there? 

**Harry:** yeah

**Cas:** Do you want to talk about it?

**Harry:** no

**Harry:** how’s your holiday? 

**Cas:** Terrible without my boy here.

**Cas:** Although your present  _ is _ keeping me company.

**Harry:** _ what does that mean _

**Cas:** Have you been drawing? 

**Harry:** just in the sketch book

**Cas:** Anything I can see? 

**Harry:** _ no _

**Cas:** Are they all nsfw?  _ Harold _ . 

**Harry:** _ dvhhcusdhfsd _

**Harry:** _ Cas _

**Cas:** Hahaha

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Peter:** sleep is for the weak

**Har:** and you are a weak man

**Peter:** _ no _

**Peter:** i am a  _ strong _ man

**Har:** go to bed

**Peter:** no

**Peter:** why does everyone call me Pierre

**Har:** because that’s your name

**Peter:** no my name is Peter

**Har:** Peter is Pierre in French

**Peter:** that explains nothing

**Har:** you’re Pierre in my phone

**Peter:** _ oh wait _

**Peter:** does that mean 

**Peter:** that they’re teasing  _ you _ when they send that

**Har:** at this point it’s turned into teasing  _ you _

**Peter:** rude

**Peter:** come over

**Har:** dad and 

**Har:** _ her _

**Har:** are up in the living room and i refuse to walk by them

**Peter:** has

**Peter:** has she tried to talk to you

**Har:** she’s knocked a few times

**Har:** i think dad’s going to lose it soon and drag me out

**Peter:** your door locks on the inside

**Peter:** don’t let him

**Har:** i don’t really have much of a choice

**Har:** it  _ is _ Christmas

**Har:** apparently that’s meant ot be spent with family

**Har:** not like we’ve ever been one before

**Peter:** Harry

**Peter:** i don’t know how to make it better

**Har:** it’s not your job to make it better

**Peter:** i don’t like it when you’re upset

**Har:** i’m not upset

**Har:** i’m  _ tired _

**Har:** and i don’t want to be here

**Peter:** come over

**Peter:** mom and dad won’t care

**Har:** dad will

**Peter:** i thought you didn’t care what he thought

~~**Har:** i don’t want to  _ die _ Pete  ~~ **[message deleted]**

**Har:** they wouldn’t let me leave even if i tried 

**Peter:** i can come kidnap you

**Har:** are you even  _ warm _ yet

**Peter:** after this morning?

**Peter:** every time i think about you

**Har:** sugdg

**Har:** _ fuck Pete _

**Peter:** if you came over

**Peter:** you know

**Har:** i think your father would actually kill me

**Peter:** he would never

**Har:** if he caught me humping his little boy?

**Har:** he might

**Peter:** _ or i could lock the door _

**Har:** your father is a  _ superhero _

**Peter:** speaking of superheroes

**Har:** smooth transition

**Peter:** guess who’s here

**Har:** i assume a superhero

**Peter:** [Carol and Nat](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842651092228/)

**Har:** _!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _

**Peter:** so you know

**Peter:** not only do you get  _ me _ if you come over

**Peter:** buuuuuut

**Har:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Peter:** did i break you

**Peter:** are you broken

**Har:** _ yse _

**Har:** fuck

**Har:** i have to sit through lunch

**Har:** dfusdhf

**Peter:** don’t go

**Peter:** you don’t owe either of them anything

**Har:** i’m gonna jump out the window

**Peter:** _ don’t you dare _

**Har:** you’d catch me right?

**Peter:** you’re on the twentieth floor 

**Peter:** and i’m ten blocks away

**Har:** damn

**Peter:** but otherwise

**Peter:** yes

**Har:** _ yay _

**Har:** _ what do you mean you’re dating a Stark _

**Peter:** uhm?

**Har:** _ i mean i wish Peter Stark would pin me down to my bed and fuck me is that clearer than what i said before _

**Peter:** _ noooooooo _

**Peter:** you didn’t

**Har:** i didn’t

**Har:** i  _ did _ say it in French though

**Peter:** _ omg _

**Peter:** _ Harry _

**Har:** French isn’t  _ allowed _ at home

**Har:** well fuck neither is a dead wife  _ dad _

**Peter:** i take it lunch is fun

**Har:** she  _ left _

**Har:** she  _ left _ and he  _ lied _ and now we’re what

**Har:** supposed to be the perfect family

**Peter:** he lied to everyone?

**Har:** they’ve been talking for  _ years _

**Har:** and now she wants back in  _ my _ life

**Har:** i can’t

**Har:** i can’t  _ do this _

**Peter:** so don’t

**Peter:** Har, babe, come over

**Peter:** you don’t have to stay there

**Har:** no i do

**Har:** if i go he’ll call the cops

**Peter:** he’ll  _ what _

**Har:** _ disrespect isn’t allowed here, Harold _

**Har:** _ fuck off, Norman _

**Peter:** Harry

**Peter:** should i be worried

**Har:** no 

**Har:** he’s too scared to lose me as his heir actually do anything

**Har:** je déteste Noël

**Peter:** please don’t

**Peter:** how can i make this better

**Peter:** i just want 

**Har:** you are the  _ only _ good thing about New York

**Peter:** permission to prove you wrong?

**Har:** granted

**Peter:** perfect

**Peter:** clear your schedule for tomorrow

**Peter:** unless you have plans?

**Har:** to go into the office?

**Har:** yes

**Har:** am i going to go?

**Har:** no

**Peter:** _ okay _

**Peter:** i support this rebellion

**Har:** thank you i try

**Peter:** tomorrow

**Har:** it’s a date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joyeux Noël, mon cher - Merry Christmas, my dear
> 
> tu te lèves tôt - you’re up early
> 
> Peter vient de partir - Peter just left
> 
> il a été chanceux - he got lucky
> 
> et si ton père t’attrape - what if your father catches you
> 
> tout est resté dans le pantalon - everything stayed in pants
> 
> boo tu es tellement ennuyeux - boo you’re so boring
> 
> ton père ne sera pas heureux - your father isn’t going to be happy
> 
> с Рождеством - Merry Christmas
> 
> доброе утро - good morning
> 
> je déteste Noël - I hate Christmas


	21. I Don't Know What Chapter Titles Are Anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has some angst folks 
> 
> Translations at the bottom!

_ **Bubble Buddies** _

**Peter:** so i took Harry on a date right

**Gwen:** ofc

**Marco:** pas trop tôt

**Peter:** what?

**MJ:** he said about time 

**Harley:** _ Pierre _

**Peter:** no

**Harry:** Pierre

**Peter:** fsuhf

**Peter:** fuck

**Ned:** accent kink activated

**Peter:** _ fuck you Ned _

**Ned:** ew no fuck your boyfriend

**Harley:** ew no don’t

**Gwen:** so you took my boy on a date

**Marco:** oi!

**Gwen:** our boy*

**Peter:** yes so i took him on a date

**Marco:** le resto, c’était bien?

**Peter:** i don’t understand that

**Peter:** but it was a nice date

**Peter:** and we went ice skating

**Gwen:** awe that’s so cute

**Gwen:** how many times did Harry fall

**Harry:** excuse you

**Peter:** like twenty

**Harry:** _ excuse YOU _ , half of those were your fault

**Marco:** why have you not answered my question

**Harry:** Pete did

**Marco:** Je me fiche que ce soit gentil pour lui, je me soucie que ce soit gentil pour toi

**Harry:** j’ai failli mourir mais j’ai eu de la nourriture gratuite à la fin

**MJ:** does it ever get exhausting to switch languages

**Harry:** literally all the time

**MJ:** RIP

**Harley:** perish

**Harry:** bold ot assume i haven't already

**Harry:** to*

**Gwen:** stop that

**Peter:** wait i’m not done

**Harley:** well shit Pete why does it always take you days to tell one story

**Ned:** he’s right

**MJ:** I hate to agree with anything the older Stark says but

**Peter:** _ wow _

**Peter:** well now I don’t wanna tell it

**Harley:** awe so sad

**MJ:** i honestly never wanted to hear it

**Ned:** I feel so mean but… 

**Ned:** I agree

**Peter:** _ w o w _

**Gwen:** they’re so mean to you

**Peter:** they really are

**Marco:** Pierre

**Peter:** _ why _

**Marco:** can i text you privately

**Harry:** no

**Peter:** ofc

**Harry:** no 

**Harry:** Marco no

**Marco:** Marco yes

**Gwen:** oh no what are we doing

**Gwen:** are we embarrassing Harry

**Harry:** daily 

**Harry:** Marco’s doing smoethign else entirely

**Harry:** something*

**Marco:** si tu ne lui dis pas que je le ferai

**Harry:** il n’y a littéralement rien à dire

**Marco:** vos messages cet après-midi disent le contraire 

**Marco:** laisse moi m’inquiéter pour toi

**Harry:** ça va

**Marco:** then there is no harm in talking no?

**Gwen:** wait can i come

**Harry:** _ no _

**Marco:** oui reine

**Peter:** wait if Harry’s not comfortable

**Harry:** i’m  _ not _

**Harry:** but they’re going to do it anyway so 

**Harry:** who cares

**Gwen:** don’t be mean

**Gwen:** it’s not attractive

**Harry:** _ i’m _ not attractive

**Peter:** _ i smell a liar _

**MJ:** you’re all on so much

**Gwen:** hi MJ i miss you

**MJ:** you’re the only valid person here

**Gwen:** _ y e s  _

**_ Crash Course in HTO _ **

**Peter:** HTO?

**Gwen:** our favorite rich boy

**Marco:** Peter

**Peter:** _ whoa you k n o w my n a m e _

**Marco:** serious talk here

**Gwen:** wait we’re not embarrassing Harry?

**Peter:** pretty sure this convo is actually annoying him tbh

**Peter:** he’s kinda sulking on his phone

**Peter:** wait no he’s talking to Cas

**Peter:** did you know Cas is British because i kinda assumed she was French until i heard her talk earlier

**Gwen:** goddamn you really  _ do _ talk a lot

**Peter:** sorry?

**Gwen:** lmao nah it’s funny

**Gwen:** Marco, dear, you’ve been typing for a long time

**Marco:** when i met Harry he was in a very  _ not good _ place. He had gotten much better but sometimes things occur that throw him right back into his old self and this is probably the worst that has happened in a long time 

**Marco:** his father has been messaging him this entire day to demand he come home and Harry has been ignoring it all day in favor for you which while sweet is a bit concerning

**Marco:** his father is not dangerous save for words but words hurt more than fists sometimes, no? 

**Marco:** Harry is sweet but he is… what is the word

**Gwen:** rebellious

**Gwen:** reckless 

**Gwen:** he wants approval but he also wants to be left alone

**Gwen:** he’s not  _ used _ to his father wanting anything to do with him and so he’s trying desperately to hold him at an arm's length

**Gwen:** this whole… telling his father off thing is only going to last for so long and when  _ that _ ends he might get a bit… reckless 

**Gwen:** more reckless

**Marco:** oui he does  _ illegal _ things

**Gwen:** that

**Peter:** that’s a lot

**Peter:** like

**Peter:** illegal  _ how _

**Peter:** like  _ how illegal _

**Gwen:** like anyone else would be in jail

**Gwen:** like… breaking into the US embassy in London just to say that he did

**Gwen:** hacking into the UN 

**Marco:** peinture de faux

**Peter:** like

**Peter:** forgeries?

**Gwen:** oh god so many

**Gwen:** making fake ids

**Marco:** Harry does not know what to do with  _ good _ attention

**Gwen:** so he goes for  _ bad _ attention

**Gwen:** it gets Norman off his back 

**Gwen:** and resets things to what he considers  _ normal _

**Peter:** so like

**Marco:** be careful is all

**Gwen:** that

**Gwen:** i don’t think it’ll be  _ too  _ bad

**Gwen:** you’re his main rebellion right now and that might be enough

**Marco:** but the more his father tries

**Gwen:** the more Norman or whatever dead mom’s name is tries to push him into something he doesn’t like the more he will try to force himself back into the position he’s used to

**Peter:** which is being ignored

**Gwen:** which  _ is _ being a problem child

**Gwen:** he doesn’t  _ like _ attention 

**Gwen:** and good attention isn’t something he ever gets

**Marco:** it is weird

**Peter:** it’s a little worrying tbh

**Gwen:** you deserve to know

**Marco:** he will not tell you

**Gwen:** he’s trying to channel all that rebellion into  _ you _ which is actually really sweet

**Peter:** i don’t want to  _ be _ rebellion

**Marco:** non you are

**Marco:** you are his

**Marco:** il est amoureux de toi 

**Peter:** no he’s not

**Gwen:** he  _ is _

**Gwen:** he won’t admit  _ that _ yet either because Harry doesn’t really  _ know _ what love is 

**Gwen:** but he is

**Peter:** i don’t think you should be telling me this

**Marco:** just

**Marco:** usually we can stop this in him

**Gwen:** yeah, Cas is really good at bringing him down too

**Marco:** we are not there

**Gwen:** _ you _ are

**Peter:** so what am i supposed to do

**Peter:** lock him in a room

**Peter:** _ make _ him answer his father

**Peter:** i  _ hate _ his father

**Peter:** and i hate what this is doing to him 

**Gwen:** no no this isn’t coming out right

**Gwen:** if he wants to climb a wall let him climb a wall 

**Gwen:** if he wants to make out with you on his couch at the risk of his father walking in and seeing it and not being able to  _ do _ anything about it than let him

**Gwen:** because when he does  _ that _ it stops him from trying to jump off a bridge just to see if he can survive the fall

**Peter:** are you telling me he’s suicidal? 

**Peter:** because that’s something completely different

**Marco:** he does not want to die 

**Marco:** but he does not know how to explain how he feels 

**Gwen:** he’s  _ hurt _ Peter

**Gwen:** and he doesn’t know how to make himself _feel_ _better_ inside 

**Peter:** okay 

**Peter:** i got it

**Peter:** i think

**Gwen:** we just want you to know what to look out for

**Marco:** oui

**Marco:** and if it gets too hard, Peter, you better leave easy

**Peter:** why would it get too hard

**Gwen:** Marco’s trying to be threatening

**Peter:** i’ve faced a lot scarier in PJs

**_Boss Man_ **

**Father:** Harry, you can’t keep ignoring me. I  _ can _ track your phone and I know where you are. Come home so we can talk about this.

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Peter:** [Ice skating Central Park](https://pin.it/4UOPmzU)

**Harley:** Morgan is very upset you went ice skating without her

**Peter:** with  _ this _ disaster 

**Peter:** _ how are you so clumsy _

**Harry:** stop judging me

**Peter:** i keep having to  _ catch you _

**MJ:** if you two are next to each other why are you texting the group

**Ned:** because they  _ love each other _

**Peter:** NED

**Harry:** i have never done this before 

**Harry:** _ sorry i don’t have your natural grace _

**Ned:** so cute 

**Ned:** so in love

**Ned:** Betty says your cute

**Harley:** Morgan says you’re a dope

**Harley:** i agree with Morgan

**Peter:** betrayal by my own family

**Harry:** Peter and i are breaking into MOMA

**Peter:** Harry no

**Harley:** _ Harry yes _

**Harley:** do crime

**Harley:** steal things

**MJ:** yes do it

**Peter:** _ n o  _

**MJ:** don’t be a party pooper

**Harry:** Peter paid for tickets behind my back

**Harry:** rude

**Harley:** boooooooooo

**Harley:** my sincere apologies that my brother is so lame

**MJ:** l a m e

**Ned:** but if you get caught man you could go to jail

**Harry:** psh no

**Ned:** ?

**Harry:** i wouldn’t get caught

**Peter:** _ i would _

**Harley:** he would he’s a terrible wingman

**Peter:** listen 

**Peter:** i have a moral compass

**MJ:** called  _ Tony Stark _

**Harley:** omg dad would  _ love  _ a call that you broke into MOMA

**Harley:** he would thank god that your teenage rebellion isn’t trying to kill him for once

**Peter:** _ i’m not doing crime _

**Harry:** boring

**Peter:** wow

**Ned:** crime is bad

**Ned:** Peter is good

**MJ:** Ned’s telling you to do Peter instead of crime

**Ned:** _ Ned is not _

**Harley:** ewewewewewewewewewew

**Peter:** _ MJ  _

**Harry:** _ that _ would get us arrested

**Peter:** Harry is a disaster

**Peter:** Euro crew come claim your disaster

**Gwen:** what

**Marco:** je t'avais prévenu

**Harry:** _ ghsughsdgh _

**Harry:** Marco

**Marco:** Harry

**Peter:** he made eye contact with a guard and when the guy turned around  _ purposely _ touched a painting

**Harry:** they put a sign that says do not touch so i  _ must _ touch

**Peter:** no you  _ should _ follow directions

**Harley:** no you  _ should _ touch the painting

**Peter:** stop encouraging this

**Harley:** no 

**Harley:** this is the one side of Osborn i like

**Harry:** i hate all sides

**Gwen:** _ Harry no _

**Marco:** Harold Theopolis

**MJ:** lmao that’s a dumb name

**Harry:** it is

**Peter:** _ don’t you dare _

**Peter:** we’ve talked about self deprecating jokes

**Harry:** you won’t let me touch the painting

**Harry:** you won’t let me sneak into the museum

**Harry:** you won’t let me self deprecate

**Harry:** _ what will you let me do _

**MJ:** him

**Peter:** jfc 

**Gwen:** no he would

**Marco:** if he won’t i will

**Harley:** _ w h a t  _

**Marco:** do not worry 

**Marco:** i would rather you

**Peter:** _ what is happening today _

**Harry:** your friends are supporting me more than my friends

**Marco:** parce que tu es stupide

**Harry:** i’m not being stupid

**Marco:** imprudent 

**Harry:** if you want to fight with me doing it over text is rude 

**Gwen:** _ Harry _

**MJ:** oh wow

**Peter:** _ okay _ taking the phone now

**Marco:** i am not

**Harley:** tensions are high

**Harley:** we know

**Gwen:** and so does he

**Gwen:** he’ll be apologizing within the hour, Marc

**Marco:** oui i know

**MJ:** to be fair here you  _ did _ also go apparently tattling to Peter about something earlier that he didn’t want told and are now accusing him of doing reckless things when it kinda just seems like he’s trying to have fun for once 

**MJ:** just to play devil’s advocate here

**Gwen:** you don’t know the whole story

**MJ:** i don’t

**MJ:** but if Peter started telling  _ you _ everything that was wrong with me to “warn” you about something and then comes in here and tells me i’m doing stupid and reckless shit where everyone can see,  _ i _ would also be frustrated

**MJ:** seems to me that Harry’s been through a ton this holiday and everyone keeps keeping shit from him “for his own good” or shit like that

**MJ:** doesn’t seem far off to snap

**MJ:** from the lack of response i’m going to take it i’m right

**MJ:** and everyone’s kind of in the wrong here

**_Marcolicious_ **

**Marco:** je suis désolé 

**Harry:** i know

**Marco:** i should not have said that

**Harry:** it’s fine

**Marco:** non

**Marco:** Ce n’est pas bien

**Harry:** it is

**Harry:** just 

**Harry:** Je ne suis pas un enfant qui a besoin de protection

**Harry:** quand je dis non, c’est avec respect

**Marco:** je plaisantais, tout à l’heure

**Marco:** tu sembles heureux

**Harry:** i’m  _ trying _

**Marco:** tu es mon meilleur ami

**Harry:** and you’re mine

**Marco:** we are okay?

**Harry:** yeah we’re good

**Harry:** i can’t fight with everyone all the time

**Marco:** your father is still bothering you

**Harry:** we’re having  _ family dinner _ tonight

**Marco:** yuck

**Harry:** does Peter know about your private message group wiht Harley yet

**Marco:** _ non _

**Marco:** comment sais- _ tu _

**Harry:** magie

**_Gwenasaurus_ **

**Gwen:** are we okay

**Harry:** do you have any idea how many people have asked me taht today

**Gwen:** two?

**Harry:** 5

**Gwen:** i get me and Marco but

**Harry:** Peter

**Gwen:** why would he ask that

**Harry:** ebcause of the whole group text you 3 had

**Gwen:** _ right _

**Harry:** then  _ dad _ and… zombie mom

**Gwen:** oh god

**Harry:** but we’re good 

**Gwen:** yeah? You can totally yell if you want to

**Gwen:** privacy is important to you and we… broke that

**Harry:** i don’t want to yell

**Harry:** i  _ want _ to do stupid shit

**Harry:** i  _ also _ want to spend the night in Peter’s bed

**Harry:** but instead i have to stay at home

**Harry:** and wallow in misery

**Gwen:** no wallowing

**Gwen:** blast music and dance

**Harry:** ha

**Harry:** maybe

**Gwen:** no maybe

**Gwen:** omg i’ll video call and we can do it together

**Harry:** Gwen it’s 3 in the morning there

**Gwen:** and? 

**Gwen:** perfect dance party time

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Peter:** Nat demands she meets you

**Har:** cool

**Peter:** i expected a different response

**Peter:** you good

**Har:** i’m at family dinner

**Peter:** so

**Peter:** you’re not good

**Har:** i’m 

**Har:** cansado

**Peter:** sneak off

**Peter:** go to bed

**Har:** she wants to have a  _ getting to know each other _ day

**Peter:** too bad

**Peter:** she left

**Peter:** she doesn’t get to decide  _ when _ she gets to be in your life

**Har:** i’m contemplating stabbing this knife into my hand to get out of here

**Peter:** _ don’t _ do that

**Peter:** please

**Peter:** i would cry

**Har:** i would hate to see that

**Peter:** are you guys out?

**Har:** mhm

**Peter:** Spidey could like

**Peter:** conveniently kick a bad guy through the window

**Har:** i could conveniently forget english

**Peter:** i feel that would be more funny

**Har:** i ordered dinner in Italian to piss dad off

**Har:** i forgot he knows it though so that failed

**Peter:** well there goes my plans of cussing out your father in Italian

**Har:** no do it it’d be funny

**Peter:** lmao will do the next time i see him

**Peter:** which we can only hope is never

**Har:** her:  _ who are you texting _

**Har:** me:  _ Spider-Man _

**Har:** her:  _ oh? Do you like him? Your father doesn’t enjoy his antics  _

**Har:** dad:  _ he’s a menace that takes the law into his own hands _

**Har:** me:  _ and you’re a shitty business man but who are we to compare yeah _

**Peter:** omg

**Har:** i think i might die tonight

**Peter:** Har

**Har:** joking

**Har:** bad joke sorry

**Peter:** i miss your face

**Har** : [Harry](https://pin.it/aOR2U6y)

**Peter** : o h 

**Har:** you  _ said _

**Peter** : i'm not  _ complaining  _

**Peter** : I'm just

**Peter** : b r o k e n 

**Peter** :  _ how are you perfect _

**Har:** bxhzidnsh

**Har:** i'm  _ not _

**Peter:** _ look at you  _

**Peter** :  _ literally perfect _

**Peter** : also family dinner no thank you

**Peter** :  _ not that you don't look perfect cuz you do _

**Har:** i 

**Har** : i can't go back out  _ now _

**Peter** : lmao why

**Har:** _Peter_

**Peter** :  _ how red is your face right now _

**Har** : s h u t up

**Peter** :  _ no  _

**Peter:** when you blush it makes you freckles stand out

**Har:** i hate them

**Peter:** too bad 

**Peter:** cuz i love them

**Har:** someone must

**Peter:** i will kiss all of them one day

**Har:** _ oh _ ?

**Peter:** mhm

**Har:** they’re not just on my face you know

**Peter:** oh trust me

**Peter:** i know

**Har:** _ Peter _

**Peter:** i would come over tonight but i would be in trouble

**Peter:** i’m not supposed to patrol this week

**Har:** _ jfc _

**Peter:** lmao enjoy dinner

**Har:** _tease_

**Peter:** lmao

**Har:** i just got lectured on responsibility

**Peter:** jfc can’t they just leave you alone

**Har:** and  _ respect _

**Har:** and apparently if i can’t get my grades up i’m not going to get the company which  _ fine _ i don’t even want it 

**Peter:** Har

**Har:** but it’ll _instead_ go to one of _her_ _nephews_

**Har:** _ because she has nephews _

**Peter:** oh no

**Peter:** Harry

**Har:** and i  _ have _ to call her  _ mom _ because that’s what she  _ is _ to me 

**Peter:** no no no no no

**Peter:** babe no you don’t owe them 

**Peter:** you don’t owe  _ her _

**Har:** pourquoi ne suis-je pas assez bon

**Har:** why am i  _ never _ good enough

**Peter:** you’re good enough

**Peter:** you’re exactly enough 

**Har:** not to him

**Peter:** he doesn’t matter

**Har:** i wish he didn’t matter

**Har:** i wish you were the only one that mattered

**Peter:** you are the  _ kindest _ person i have ever met

**Peter:** and so brilliant at everything you do

**Peter:** they don’t get to pick and choose when they get to be parents

**Har:** i don’t want to be here

**Peter:** come  _ here _

**Peter:** you’re always welcome

**Har:** i  _ can’t _

**Har:** it’s  _ bonding time _

**Har:** she wants to  _ talk boys _

**Peter:** Harry

**Peter:** babe you don’t have to

**Har:** if she tries to hug me one more time i might lose it

**Peter:** you’re allowed boundaries

**Har:** i miss you

**Peter:** hey 

**Har:** hm?

**Peter:** ask if you can have a friend over

**Har:** Peter you  _ can’t _

**Har:** he wouldn’t let you anywhere  _ near _ here

**Peter:** just ask

**Har:** no i’m not letting you do it

**Peter:** it’s not  _ me _

**Peter:** it’s Ned

**Har:** Ned?

**Peter:** he wanted to meet you

**Peter:** and he’s  _ great _ at hugs

**Peter:** and then who knows maybe a spider will crawl in your window at night

**Peter:** who is  _ also _ good at hugs

**Har:** it’s going to be 15 out tonight

**Peter:** suit has a heater

**Har:** you  _ said _ your parents won’t let you

**Peter:** you’re not the only one that can hack things

**Har:** you’ll get in trouble

**Peter:** _ oh well _

**Peter:** seriously

**Peter:** what did they say about Ned

**Har:** i didn’t ask

**Peter:** cool well he’s five minutes out

**Har:** _ jfc Peter _

**Peter:** just don’t tell them and watch as their politeness wars against their want to suffocate you with the sudden parental instincts of a murderous hound

**Har:** you’re  _ ridiculous _

**Peter:** and you

**Peter:** Harry Osborn

**Peter:** deserve more than they have ever given you

**Peter:** and we’re going to play the shit out of some video games 

**Har:** i don’t play video games

**Peter:** welp

**Peter:** you do tonight

**Peter:** prepare to be dominated

**Har:** я люблю тебя

**Peter:** hm?

**Har:** i can’t wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pas trop tôt - about time
> 
> le resto, c’était bien? - was it a nice date?
> 
> Je me fiche que ce soit gentil pour lui, je me soucie que ce soit gentil pour toi - I don’t care if it was nice for him, I care if it was nice for you
> 
> j’ai failli mourir mais j’ai eu de la nourriture gratuite à la fin - I nearly died but I got free food in the end so that evens out
> 
> si tu ne lui dis pas que je le ferai - if you won’t tell him I will
> 
> il n’y a littéralement rien à dire - there is literally nothing to tell
> 
> vos messages cet après-midi disent le contraire - your messages this afternoon say otherwise
> 
> laisse moi m’inquiéter pour toi - let me worry about you
> 
> ça va - I’m fine
> 
> oui reine - yes Queen
> 
> peinture de faux - painting forgeries
> 
> il est amoureux de toi - he is in love with you
> 
> je t'avais prévenu - I warned you
> 
> Parce que tu es stupide - because you are being stupid
> 
> imprudent - reckless
> 
> je suis désolé - I'm sorry
> 
> Ce n’est pas bien - it is not fine
> 
> Je ne suis pas un enfant qui a besoin de protection - I’m not a child that needs protection
> 
> quand je dis non, c’est avec respect - when I say no, respect it
> 
> Je plaisantais, tout à l’heure - I was joking, earlier
> 
> tu sembles heureux - you seem happy
> 
> tu es mon meilleur ami - you are my best friend
> 
> comment sais-tu - how do you know
> 
> magie - magic
> 
> pourquoi ne suis-je pas assez bon - why am I not good enough
> 
> я люблю тебя - I love you


	22. Natasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations at the bottom!

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Ned:** so 

**Ned:** i feel as though all my dreams have come true

**Harley:** i don’t need to know if you and Betty just did it, man

**Harry:** what the actual fuck

**Peter:** why is your mind always on sex 

**MJ:** Betty isn’t into that Harley

**Ned:** yeah man

**Ned:** also totally off base there

**Ned:** Harry Osborn gives fantastic hugs

**Peter:** omg you’re telling me

**MJ:** it’s  _ eleven _ why are you hugging Peter’s boyfriend

**Harry:** reasons

**Ned:** wait where is Euro crew

**MJ:** Gwen went to bed at like four so still sleeping

**Peter:** _ how do you know when Gwen went to bed MJ _

**MJ:** i mean

**MJ:** do you really want to know

**Harry:** please no

**Harry:** i’m too gay for that

**Harley:** notice how Pete  _ hasn’t _ answered

**Ned:** oooooooooooo Pete called out

**MJ:** lmao 

**MJ:** he is our resident bi

**Ned:** _ if it wasn’t in this chat i would love to send what Harry just said _

**MJ:** do it you coward

**Harley:** delete it after man 

**Harley:** as admin you have  _ the power _ over all

**Ned:** wait you right

**Harry:** _ bider _

**Ned: [message ~~Harry:~~** ~~ _bider_~~ **deleted]**

**MJ:** golden

**Harley:** oh god

**Harley:** no wonder he likes you

**Ned:** i’m giggle snorting so hard

**Harry:** it’s about to wake zombie mom

**MJ:** _ zombie mom _

**Harley:** @Peter you still alive bro

**Peter:** yeah just 

**Peter:** adventuring

**Harley:** maaaaan you  _ owe  _ me

**Peter:** i knooooow

**Peter:** i’ll get you your favorite donuts

**Harry:** that word is so ahrd to spell

**Harry:** h a r d*

**Peter:** no one here is going to make fun of your errors

**Peter:** but you seem happier 

**Ned:** dude don’t text and adventure

**MJ:** yeah 

**Harley:** if you face plant into a building again i’m posting it on youtube and becoming internet famous

**Peter:** you’re  _ already _ famous

**Harley:** yeah but not for what  _ i _ want to be 

**Harley:** ya feel

**Peter:** you want to be famous for my fails

**Harley:** _ obviously _

**Harley:** one day i will post all the kept footage i have of dad fucking up in the lab

**Peter:** do it

**MJ:** ruin his reputation of being cool

**Peter:** lmao imagine dad being cool

**Harley:** haaaa

**Harley:** funniest joke of the century

**Ned:** Harry is  _ terrible _ at video games

**Harry:** i never said i was good

**Ned:** he whispers threats in other languages

**Ned:** we’re lucky Peter wasn’t here cuz i’m pretty sure he would have pounced by now

**MJ:** keep it in your pants Stark

**Harley:** yeah Stark

**Harley:** what video game are you making him play

**Harry:** i have no idea

**Ned:** Smash Bros

**Harry:** i think i keep killing myself

**Ned:** you do 

**Ned:** it’s great

**MJ:** ugh you and Peter get so competitive playing that

**Harley:** why was i not invited to this party

**Ned:** cuz you wouldn’t give hugs 

**Harley:** true

**Harley:** i only hug Morgan 

**MJ:** i’ve seen you hug Peter

**Harley:** _ lies _

**Ned:** so when Harry’s parents saw me at the door i thought they were going to either kick me out or shit all over the floor

**Harry:** all possible outcomes

**Peter:** ew imagine shitting on the floor

**MJ:** literally all three of you are in the same room

**Peter:** no 

**Peter:** Harry’s getting snacks

**Ned:** yeah

**Harley:** when are you coming home

**Peter:** uuuuuh

**Harley:** cool answer

**Harley:** i’ll just leave the window unlocked and we’ll pray FRY doesn’t alert dad

**Peter:** she won’t she’s cool

**MJ:** how late are you staying Ned

**Ned:** curfew is 1 

**Ned:** cuz  _ vacation _

**Ned:** and i live like two minutes away

**Ned:** i never knew this building even  _ had _ a penthouse

**Ned:** update: they literally are touching all the time 

**Ned:** it would be annoying if it wasn’t so c u t e 

**Ned:** Peter stares whenever Harry talks

**MJ:** as entertaining as these updates are it’s _midnight_ _thirty_

**Peter:** midnight thirty

**MJ:** i disown you as a friend

**Ned:** [Parksborn](https://pin.it/2rwSU6s)

**Ned:** sorry i just can’t get over how  _ cute _ they are together like  _ what _

**Harley:** i don’t need this on my phone

**Ned:** admin says you do so

**Ned:** you’re stuck with it 

**Harley:** rude

**MJ:** Ned didn’t need to edit it 

**MJ:** but he did

**Ned:** don’t judge me

**MJ:** i support how extra you are

**Ned:** thank you

**Peter:** we love Ned Leeds

**Harry:** si

**Ned:** it has been a good night

**Harry:** divagó con papá sobre las aplicaciones biológicas de las algas durante una hora 

**Harley:** _ what the fuck did you just type _

**Harry:** _ écouter _

**Harley:** _ w h a t  _

**Harry:** _ ascoltar _

**Harley:** _ i don’t want to _

**MJ:** wtf

**Harry:** 聞く

**Harry:** jfc

**Peter:** _ listen _

**Harry:** THAT

**MJ:** damn the struggle 

**Harley:** you should unplug your Harry and plug him back in

**Harley:** hard reset

**Peter:** no i like him how he is

**MJ:** struggling?

**Peter:** _sleepy_

**MJ:** i know entirely too many of Peter’s kinks 

**Peter:** shgudhgsd

**Peter:** _ MJ this isn’t a kink _

**Harley:** my brother just typed out the word kink

**Harley:** which is w e i r d

**Peter:** _ stop _

**MJ:** i’m going to bed you weird fucks

**Peter:** night MJ

******Harley:** lame

**Harry:** bonne nuit

**MJ:** bonne nuit 

**Peter:** i know that one

**Harley:** only an idiot wouldn’t 

**Peter:** don’t be rude Harley

**Harley:** it’s my tired default

**Peter:** it’s just your default

**Peter:** it doesn’t matter if you’re tired

**Peter:** okay i’m going to try to sleep before having to go back home

**Harley:** no you’re not

**Peter:** no i am

**Harley:** no you’re going to get laid 

**Harley:** don’t lie to me

**Peter:** _Harley Joseph_

**Harley:** _ Peter Benjamin _

**Harley:** mom would not approve 

**Peter:** go tf to bed

**Harley:** _ no _

**Peter:** Harley

**Harry:** he’s waiting for Marco to text him good morning

**Peter:** ?

**Harry:** j'ai tort?

**Peter:** idk 

**Harley:** i am  _ not _

**Peter:** you’re not 

**Peter:** omg do you have a secret text group with Marco

**Harley:** _ n o  _

**Harry:** yes

**Harley:** _ you bitch _

**Harry:** you sound so shocked adn i don’t undersatnd why

**Harry:** and* understand*

**Harley:** to betray Marco like this

**Harry:** who said anything about betrayla

**Harry:** betrayla*

**Harry:** b e t r a y a l **

**Peter:** rip

**Harley:** hopefully i won’t wake up

**Peter:** uhm

**Harry:** if you make Marco sad i will find you and break you

**Harley:** you’re not scary

**Peter:** go tf to bed

**Harley:** you

**Peter:** _ i’m trying _

**Harley:** try  _ harder _

**Marco:** bonjour

**Harry:** there he is

**Marco:** pourquoi es-tu encore éveillé?

**Harry:** raisons

**Peter:** raisins 

**Marco:** Pierre

**Peter:** n o

**Harry:** bonne nuit, Marco

**Marco:** bonne nuit, mon cher

Peter hadn’t always been a light sleeper and, in most cases, it caused more problems than it helped. In the situation of having snuck into Harry’s room and accidentally fallen asleep for longer than he had planned it was actually a  _ good _ thing. Peter thanked his spider sense for the creeping anxiety that had pulled him from a dead sleep just moments before and it took him much longer than he was proud of to figure out exactly where he was. He stretched out his arm that had been curled around Harry’s waist the past few hours and reached for the wall until his muscles stung from the stretch and buried himself in closer to the nape of a tanned neck. 

Harry was warm in his sleep and Peter could have allowed himself to fall back asleep if it wasn’t for the growing dread. He clung desperately to what little vestiges of peace he had left until reality shattered it. He hadn’t meant to sleep longer than an hour or two - just long enough to make sure Harry had drifted into a deep sleep and then he would have been on his way back home. His soft hair tickled the tip of his nose and it was on a deep, slow, inhale that the knock on Harry’s wooden door had Peter jumping. He had known it was coming - he had heard the footsteps echo on the carpet outside the door and  _ still _ he had allowed himself to relax into the mattress again. There was no explanation for it other than the way Harry smelled like everything that could lull Peter into sleep. 

It was the shattering of a moment when she spoke - Peter had never actually heard her voice but even  _ he _ hadn’t expected the melodic tone of it. She sounded too sweet to be real - so  _ unlike _ yet like her son that it gave Peter momentary whiplash. Harry had woken up at the abrasive sound - or, at the very least, at the way Peter had jumped - but he seemed content to ignore the question she posed through the door. “Harry, darling,” the word had him tensing under Peter’s arm and rather than ask why Peter placed a sleepy kiss against the back of his neck and smiled against the shiver. “It’s time for breakfast before going into the office with daddy.” 

_ Daddy _ . 

Peter wrinkled his nose in displeasure. How old did she think Harry was? 

Harry shifted just enough to hide his face in his pillow and groaned. The sound travelled straight to Peter’s groin and he swallowed,  _ hard _ , at the thought of how close they had slept and tried to subtly twist his hips  _ away _ from where they had been pressed just moments before. “‘M not going.” Harry mumbled into the fabric loud enough that Peter knew that only he had heard it and, despite himself, he found his lips curving upwards into a smile. 

“You’re not a morning person, huh?” Peter whispered and almost whined when Harry rolled out from under his arm to hide more fully in the down pillow. Well, that at least avoided  _ one _ problem. 

“Tu es trop éveillé,” The words tumbled from Harry’s lips with a pout but he still smiled that sleepy smile when he blinked his eyes open in Peter’s direction. His bed wasn’t  _ big _ , but it easily fit the two of them and gave them more than enough room to sleep next to each other without being pressed together. Still, Peter couldn’t find the words to complain when Harry shuffled closer, curled a hand over the curve of Peter’s jaw, and pressed a humming kiss to his lips. Peter felt the buzz of his hum dance over the nerves in his mouth and he wondered what it would taste like to feel it against his tongue but Harry pulled away before he could find out. “Good morning.” 

The benefit of super strength was that Peter could keep him in place incredibly easy - his legs bent at the knees to bracket Harry in place against his chest and pulled him down more firmly against his mouth. No one had the right to taste that good early in the morning. 

They kissed slow and languid and lazily and if Peter were to wake up to  _ this  _ every morning there was no way he would ever get himself out of bed. The comforter slipped off the swell of Harry’s shorts when he shifted up and his nails scraped ever so gently over the skin of Peter’s stomach. Things were definitely on their way to something that would require more wakefulness from at least one of them when Emily knocked again, sharper and more insistent. 

“ _ Harry _ ," Harry muffled a swear against the fabric of Peter's shirt. "I'm coming in if you don't answer." 

The doorknob started to turn and panic seized at Peter's throat before he remembered that Harry had flicked the lock before falling asleep. The knob stopped after a moment and refused to budge anymore and Peter couldn't help the snort of amusement when Emily swore under her breath. Obviously she hadn't expected that Harry would lock her out. "Dios mio, mujer,” Harry rolled his eyes and off of Peter’s chest. “ _ Give _ me a minute.” He said louder and with the loudest utterance of teenage attitude that Peter had ever heard from him. 

“I’ll start your breakfast, darling!” Harry wrinkled his nose and the displeasure was creased so deeply in his face that Peter couldn’t help tugging at the strands of soft hair until he smiled. Emily sounded chipper now that Harry had answered and flounced off down the hall before she could hear his sarcastic  _ thanks, mom _ . 

**_Miss Madison_ **

**Harry:** [Peter](https://pin.it/4N6wVTJ)

**Harry:** shit 

**Cas:** Well, good morning to you too. 

**Cas:** Is this the  _ boyfriend _ ?

**Harry:** _ that was the wrong picture please ignore it _

**Cas:** How could I ever? He’s so cute.

**Harry:** _ sudfuhsiudf _

**Cas:** How is everything going over there, darling? 

**Harry:** you see

**Harry:** when  _ she _ calls me that

**Harry:** it’s just annoying

**Cas:** How dare she. You’re  _ my _ darling, not hers. 

**Harry:** fight her for it

**Cas:** Don’t underestimate how much I want to. 

**Harry:** lmao 

**Harry:** it’s fine

**Harry:** dad keeps trying to make me go into the office but i don’t see what teh point is when i’m not getting the company anyway

**Cas:** Is it going to cause you problems to  _ not _ go?

**Harry:** more than my existence already does?

**Cas:** Harry. 

**Harry:** no

**Harry:** maybe?

**Harry:** idk he says i’m being a child about it but  _ weirdly _ she doesn’t seem to be pushing it much

**Cas:** You  _ are _ a child. 

**Cas:** And how  _ dare _ he say you’re acting like a child for not reacting well to the news that your father lied to you your entire life about your mother being alive, or well to the fact that your mother  _ abandoned _ you days after you were born. 

**Cas:** Just the fact that he thinks that proves how  _ terrible _ of a parent he is. 

**Harry:** i

**Cas:** If I filed for your adoption, do you think they’d sign the papers? 

**Harry:** my  _ father _

**Harry:** sign over his only son to a bohemian, British Russian lesbian? 

**Harry:** it would do nothing but give him a good laugh

**Cas:** But it’s worth a try? 

**Harry:** lmao go for it

**Harry:** maybe he’ll surprise us both

**Cas:** _ That _ would be a fantastic Christmas present. 

**Harry:** you’re too good for me

**Cas:** No one is good  _ enough _ to you. 

**Cas:** But because I know these conversations make you uncomfortable I will move on to another topic. 

**Cas:** What were you trying to send me earlier?

**Harry:** oh!

**Harry:** art

**Harry:** Peter and I went to the MOMA the other dya and i saw some stuff that made me think of you so

**Harry:** [Art](https://pin.it/1IjiIRC)

**Cas:** Oh you have  _ got _ to bring me one day!

**Cas:** I have always wanted to go on a world tour of art museums. 

**Harry:** _ omg _ like the one in the Netherlands

**Cas:** Rijksmuseum! 

**Harry:** yes!

**Cas:** That’s it! That’s  _ definitely _ going to be your graduation present. 

**Harry:** !!!!!!!!!!

**Cas:** What are your plans for today? 

**Harry:** oh i’m ditching OSCORP at lunch and never returning unless i’m dragged

**Cas:** Oh? 

**Harry:** yep

**Harry:** Peter wants to go to lunch so

**Cas:** You’ve seen him almost every day, haven’t you? 

**Harry:** you know too much

**Cas:** Have fun! Send me pictures! 

**Harry:** no

**Cas:** Listen kid, I need my Harry fix. 

**Harry:** [Harry](https://pin.it/12OitpE)

**Cas:** Perfect, thank you. 

**Harry:** _ i am screaming  _

**Cas:** Good screaming? 

**Harry:** _ i just emt the Black Widow  _

**Cas:** You  _ lucky _ child. 

**Harry:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Cas:** Oh, fair. 

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Peter:** want to see the most adorable thing ever?

**Harley:** it’s going to be of your boyfriend so

**Harley:** _ no _

**Marco:** oui!

**Gwen:** y e s

**Ned:** omg yes

**Harry:** _ don’t _

**Peter:** democracy rules

**Peter:** _ This isn’t an actual video but it would be here if it was _ . 

* * *

Harry was bent over a table, his striped shirt pushed up to his elbows and tongue peaking out of the corner of his lips as he read over a menu. Peter himself was farther away, hidden behind the camera of his phone but cheeky all the same. The speakers around them played some sort of holiday music - as it had not yet hit New Years Eve most restaurants and stores hadn’t bothered to change their music. “Hey, Har.” Peter said after catching sight of something off screen and Harry slowly looked up. 

His blue eyes sparkled in the light and with the sunlight streaming in from the windows around them his freckles stood out perfectly against his skin. “What are you doing?” He asked when he caught sight of Peter’s phone. 

“Nothing.” 

“I don’t trust you.” 

“Turn around.” 

A curious look played against Harry’s face just as a woman came in focus. She was beautiful and stunning in a red leather jacket and black leggings with her hair tossed up a top her head. It was hard  _ not _ to recognize an Avenger, even one as secretive as the Black Widow, but when she smiled it was difficult to see her as anything other than the kind woman she actually was behind her superhero exterior. “Just turn around.” Peter insisted again, a bit more push in his voice. 

“ _ Why _ ?” 

“Hey boys, mind if I join you?” Natasha took matters into her own hands and pulled over a seat in a smooth, elegant movement. 

Harry’s eyes widened exponentially and he  _ stared _ in a way that had Peter struggling to hold in a laugh off the camera screen. Pink colored Harry's cheeks almost instantly. "Oh mon dieu, ça se passe vraiment." 

"Oui." 

Harry squeaked and Natasha's smile softened around the edges. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> divagó con papá sobre las aplicaciones biológicas de las algas durante una hora - he rambled on to dad about the biological applications of seaweed for an hour
> 
> écouter - listen
> 
> ascoltare - listen
> 
> 聞く - listen
> 
> bonne nuit - good night
> 
> j'ai tort? - am I wrong?
> 
> bonjour - Good morning
> 
> pourquoi es-tu encore éveillé? - why are you still awake?
> 
> raisons - reasons
> 
> Tu es trop éveillé - you’re too awake
> 
> Dios mio,mujer - my god, woman
> 
> Oh mon dieu, ça se passe vraiment - oh my god, this is really happening


	23. Assemble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's actually no translations this time wow

**_Assemble_ **

**Nat:** So

 **Clint:** hey Nat

 **Nat:** I got to meet Peter’s special someone

 **Clint:** wait i want to meet Peter’s special someone

 **Carol:** _you_ got to meet _my_ fanboy first

 **Nat:** ha

 **Steve:** Pete’s got a special someone?

 **Bucky:** where the fuck have you been?

 **Steve:** Buck

 **Clint:** if Pete’s not talking about him than Tony is

 **Carol:** aN oSbOrN 

**Clint:** an Ossssssssssborn

 **Sam:** an OsBOOOOOORN

 **Bruce:** an O s b o r n

 **Tony:** et tu Bruce?

 **Peter:** stop this

 **Carol:** Peter, i’m _offended_

 **Nat:** Clearly, I’m better

 **Carol:** g i r l 

**Steve:** I’m more shocked I didn’t know

 **Bucky:** if it’s not _America_ you’re not paying attention

 **Steve:** How long have you been dating?

 **Tony:** WAIT

 **Peter:** _no_

 **Peter:** Mister America w h y

 **Tony:** Since when are you _dating_?

 **Peter:** ugh

 **Tony:** _Peter_

 **Bucky:** way to go, Rogers

 **Steve:** Guess I wasn’t the only one that didn’t know. 

**Sam:** worst uncle award goes toooooooo

 **Bucky:** Steven Grant Rogers!

 **Steve:** omg an award

 **Carol:** Nat

 **Carol:** Nat

 **Carol:** Nat

 **Carol:** Nat

 **Carol:** Nat

 **Carol:** Nat

 **Carol:** Nat

 **Carol:** Nat

 **Carol:** Nat

 **Clint:** do you know how annoying it is to feel your phone vibrate 

**Clint:** look down

 **Clint:** and just see it’s _you_ pestering Nat

 **Carol:** sucks to suck, Barton

 **Bruce:** Remember when this used to be used for missions. 

**Sam:** that was a pipe dream and you know it

 **Bruce:** It was good in theory.

 **Nat:** It worked for a _week_ Bruce.

 **Bruce:** That was a peaceful week. 

**Carol:** N A T

 **Nat:** _What_ Carol

 **Carol:** Peter won’t send me pictures of my fanboy

 **Carol:** _tell me all about him_

 **Peter:** d o n ‘ t 

**Nat:** He’s adorable. 

**Peter:** no

 **Clint:** are you saying your boyfriend isn’t adorable?

 **Peter:** no 

**Peter:** fuck

 **Peter:** he is

 **Peter:** but no

 **Bucky:** _l a n g u a g e_

 **Steve:** fuck you that was _once_

 **Steve:** and you weren’t even _there_

 **Sam:** not in front of the b a b y

 **Peter:** i hate this family

 **Tony:** _Where are you_?

 **Peter:** we are not having this conversation

 **Tony:** I can do it _here_ if you won’t tell me where you are.

 **Peter:** ughsdughs

 **Carol:** dad vibes

 **Clint:** yikes

 **Nat:** He slips into other languages easily when flustered.

 **Clint:** that must’ve been hell for Pete

 **Tony:** Why would that be hell for Pete?

 **Tony:** My kid’s not _dumb_ , Barton.

 **Peter:** i

 **Peter:** _Clint_

 **Clint:** no reason

 **Carol:** shit 

**Carol:** what languages do i have to brush up on

 **Nat:** He cycled through French mostly. 

**Nat:** But there were slips of Spanish, Italian, Japanese, a word or two in Chinese and when I tried Russian just for the hell of it he kept up without noticing. 

**Bucky:** impressive 

**Carol:** well damn 

**Carol:** universal translator here we go

 **Clint:** cheater

 **Carol:** we’re not _all_ spies 

**Bucky:** that’s cuz you’re lame

 **Sam:** hey

 **Bucky:** you’re the lamest

 **Steve:** I’m not a spy

 **Bucky:** exactly

 **Bucky:** what about what i said isn’t clicking

 **Nat:** Peter ordered for him but Harry insisted on paying. 

**Carol:** _adorable_

 **Nat:** He doesn’t look anything like his father. 

**Tony:** _Peter Benjamin where are you_

 **Peter:** o u t

 **Tony:** I said no patrol this week. 

**Peter:** i’m not patrolling

 **Clint:** can i meet your boyfriend

 **Peter:** no

 **Clint:** w o w 

**Carol:** who does he look like?

 **Nat:** Mostly his mother’s brother. 

**Peter:** his mother has a brother?

 **Nat:** He most likely just found out about that brother. Name’s Eugene Lyman. Has three sons and one daughter. 

**Peter:** oh

 **Peter:** yeah he mentioned cousins

 **Tony:** Where are you _out_? 

**Peter:** s t o p

 **Tony:** Peter. 

**Tony:** I don’t care that you have a boyfriend. Or even _who_ it is. 

**Tony:** I care you kept it from me. 

**Peter:** _omg we are not doing this_

 **Tony:** We _are_ doing this. 

**Sam:** rip

 **Peter:** it’s _new_

 **Tony:** Does your mother know?

 **Pepper:** yes

 **Nat:** Hey Pep

 **Pepper:** hey Nat

 **Peter:** mom make him stop

 **Pepper:** Tony stop bothering our son about his boyfriend. 

**Tony:** _What_

 **Steve:** yeah Tony

 **Clint:** yeah Tony

 **Bucky:** yeah Tony

 **Carol:** i want to meet my biggest fan

 **Nat:** [Harry](https://pin.it/1gNNWxS)

 **Peter:** _N a t no_

 **Carol:** _omg_

 **Carol:** _Peter he’s adorable_

 **Sam:** oh damn

 **Sam:** that is one cute white boy

 **Bucky:** Sam that is a _child_

 **Sam:** i said he’s _cute_ not attractive jfc

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Peter:** my family is so 

**Peter:** chaotic

 **Harry:** lmao family

 **Peter:** you’re basically in there too js

 **Harry:** excuse you

 **Harry:** you would have to fight Marco and Gwen

 **Peter:** and Cas?

 **Harry:** _i_ will fight for Cas

 **Peter:** how cute

 **Harry:** disgusting

 **Peter:** how’s forced bonding time

 **Harry:** terrible

 **Peter:** what are you even doing?

 **Harry:** practicing my avoidance techniques

 **Peter:** oh?

 **Harry:** mhm

 **Harry:** i’ve worn earplugs this whole time

 **Peter:** earplugs?? 

**Harry:** no

 **Harry:** that’s not right

 **Harry:** the things that play music

 **Peter:** headphones

 **Harry:** yeah those

 **Peter:** she hasn’t noticed?

 **Harry:** that would require her to actually look at my face

 **Harry:** idk why she doesn’t though like it’s my best feature

 **Peter:** yeah 

**Peter:** it has those freckles

 **Harry:** nooo

 **Peter:** yeah that one on your left cheek

 **Peter:** right under your eyes

 **Peter:** it’s my favorite

 **Harry:** Peter wtf

 **Peter:** it’s not weird

 **Harry:** it _is_ weird

 **Peter:** oh well

 **Peter:** i am confident in my weirdness

 **Harry:** _how adorable would it be if you and your father wore matching suits_

 **Harry:** i would rather die

 **Peter:** my dad and i have matching suits

 **Harry:** yeah but

 **Harry:** your dad isn’t 

**Peter:** isn’t?

 **Peter:** you’ve been quiet for a while there, Har

 **Harry:** i’m _thinking_

 **Peter:** are you even listening to anything with the headphones?

 **Harry:** yes

 **Peter:** what are you listening to

 **Harry:** Russian rap

 **Peter:** i

 **Peter:** i didn’t expect that

 **Peter:** _why_

 **Harry:** why not

 **Peter:** i don’t

 **Harry:** [Russian Rap](https://youtu.be/XBleNfmkScA)

 **Peter:** what am i listening to

 **Harry:** Russian rap

 **Peter:** _Harry_

 **Harry:** it’s not terrible

 **Peter:** i don’t understand any of this

 **Harry:** it helps to know music in your target language when learning a new one

 **Peter:** does it?

 **Harry:** it helps get your mind used to hearing the words

 **Harry:** and pronunciation

 **Harry:** and you learn how it’s used

 **Peter:** how confusing is it to be listening to one language and writing in another

 **Harry:** not too bad

 **Peter:** me, dad, and the sibs are playing in the lab

 **Harry:** and the sibs

 **Peter:** yeah

 **Peter:** the _sibs_

 **Harry:** slang is weird

 **Peter:** it’s just my slang

 **Harry:** which is werid

 **Harry:** should you even be texting in the lab

 **Peter:** oh yeah

 **Peter:** it’s fine

 **Peter:** we’re making slime with Magoo

 **Harry:** oh i did that in elementary school

 **Peter:** i think everyone did

 **Harry:** it exploded all over the dorm

 **Peter:** sometimes i forget you were in boarding school your entire life

 **Harry:** honestly 

**Harry:** being in the US feels like teh boarding 

**Peter:** i can see that

 **Peter:** _wtf how did Harley manage to make a fire making slime_

 **Harry:** fire is fun

 **Peter:** _Harry_

 **Harry:** for some people

 **Harry:** oh!

 **Peter:** oh?

 **Harry:** i was doing a paper for lit right

 **Peter:** right

 **Harry:** and Marco reads over all my stuff for typos

 **Peter:** fair

 **Peter:** i’d help but 

**Peter:** _French_

 **Harry:** well he sent me back the paper 

**Harry:** or what he _thought_ was the paper

 **Peter:** omg what was it

 **Peter:** some sort of erotic fan fiction?

 **Harry:** YES

 **Peter:** lmao imagine

 **Harry:** no 

**Harry:** _Peter_

 **Harry:** it was

 **Peter:** _omg what_

 **Peter:** _what was it for_

 **Harry:** a French show

 **Harry:** _i’m dying_

 **Harry:** it’s not actually that bad

 **Peter:** _you’re reading it?!_ _  
_****

**Harry:** ofc

 **Peter:** ofc he says

 **Harry:** listen the only jarring part was the sex

 **Harry:** and that was jsut ebcause i didn’t expect it

 **Peter:** does

 **Peter:** does this mean

 **Peter:** _do you read fan fiction_

 **Harry:** do you _not_

 **Peter:** i mean

 **Peter:** i’ve

 **Peter:** _what_

 **Harry:** if you’ve ever read a novelization of a movie or, like, Lion King than you’re reading fan fiction

 **Peter:** _what_

 **Peter:** how 

**Peter:** how is Lion King fan fiction

 **Harry:** it’s based off Hamlet

 **Peter:** shut the front door

 **Peter:** _no way_

 **Harry:** it’s literally the same story

 **Peter:** _omg_

 **Peter:** wait go back

 **Peter:** _you read fan fiction_

 **Harry:** i don’t know why this is so shocking to you

 **Peter:** _of w h a t_

 **Harry:** if you’re our age and you’ve never read a Harry Potter fanfic then you’re lying to yourself

 **Peter:** _i am in shock_

 **Harry:** if i can’t get Batfam content from DC than i’m obviously going to look elsewhere

 **Peter:** _stop i’m too shocked_

 **Harry:** why

 **Harry:** i literally never hid the fact that i’m a nerd

 **Peter:** _you read fan fiction_

 **Peter:** i think everyday i learn something new about you and

 **Peter:** i literally don’t know why this is so shocking

 **Harry:** considering everything else you’ve learned i’m not sure tbh

 **Peter:** you 

**Peter:** you don’t play the nerd

 **Harry:** how do you _play the nerd_

 **Harry:** like i can talk at you for hours about comic books

 **Harry:** and biological principles

 **Harry:** and the nuance of language 

**Harry:** and the science behind art

 **Harry:** but because i’m moderately attractive, get good grades, and have the last name Osborn it’s considered a character quirk 

**Peter:** i mean

 **Peter:** i like all of you?

 **Harry:** it’s not something you can _play_ though

 **Peter:** i didn’t mean anything by it

 **Harry:** no i 

**Harry:** _i know that_

 **Harry:** it’s just

 **Harry:** people always assume things you know? 

**Harry:** and then stereotype based off _other_ things and try to fit you in a box when people weren’t made to eb _fit_ into boxes but expand out of them

 **Peter:** _you_ are an amazing person, Harry Osborn

 **Harry:** no that’s the point

 **Harry:** i’m not anything special

 **Harry:** i’m just

 **Harry:** _me_

 **Peter:** i get it though

 **Peter:** i used to be this really scrawny kid and wear big glasses and shit

 **Peter:** and everyone _expected_ me to be a specific way

 **Peter:** and like _nerd_ fit 

**Peter:** but now i’m older and taller and i don’t look the part anymore and no one bothers to pick on me like they used to because it’s _cool_ now 

**Peter:** but i see them point at Ned like he’s defined by the fact that he likes Star Wars

 **Harry:** it’s bullshit

 **Peter:** it _is_

 **Harry:** like i’m more of a nerd than Ned is

 **Peter:** no you two are kinda the same type of nerd

 **Peter:** but i hear what you’re saying

 **Harry:** i had a teacher tell me once that my dyslexia is _cute_

 **Peter:** what

 **Peter:** a teacher?

 **Harry:** that’s not really the point i was trying to make but

 **Harry:** yeah a teacher

 **Peter:** a learning disability isn’t cute

 **Harry:** it’s a pain in the ass

 **Harry:** nothing about it is cute

 **Peter:** not that i don’t love your passion

 **Peter:** but did something bring this on or????

 **Harry:** zombie mom just found out about it

 **Harry:** and saw the comic book i brought from France is apparently very shocked i actually _like_ _things like this_

 **Harry:** and _awe dyslexia, but you’re so smart it can’t be that hard_

 **Harry:** _it’s cute watching you try to figure otu the right way to spell things_

 **Peter:** whoa

 **Peter:** you don’t 

**Peter:** you don’t just _say that_

 **Peter:** like i’m sorry, Har but 

**Peter:** watching you think is cute not watching you struggle

 **Peter:** i hate her

 **Peter:** so much

 **Harry:** _dad_ actually said something

 **Harry:** which was weird

 **Harry:** idk how i feel about that

 **Peter:** what did he say?

 **Harry:** _a learning disability isn’t cute, Emily. This is something Harry ahs had to learn to work around his entire life and some days are easier tahn others. His grades are good because of merit and ahrd work._

 **Peter:** your dad actually did something right

 **Harry:** i know i don’t know what to do with that information

 **Peter:** are you free yet

 **Harry:** i have been excused

 **Peter:** want to come over for dinner?

 **Harry:** to your house?

 **Peter:** yeah why not

 **Harry:** the _Stark_ house

 **Peter:** yes

 **Peter:** dad just put two and two together that we’re dating now and insists on it

 **Peter:** at least once before you go back to France

 **Harry:** i 

**Harry:** do i need to _bring_ anything?

 **Harry:** i’ve never done meet the parents 

**Harry:** well except with Marco and Gwen but

 **Harry:** that’s… _different_

 **Peter:** mom will be so excited 

**Peter:** she said she needs someone to help her temper the Stark men

 **Peter:** which rude

 **Harry:** what time

 **Peter:** _this is really happening isn’t it_

 **Harry:** i… don’t have anything else to do

 **Peter:** omg 

**Peter:** o

 **Peter:** okay

 **Peter:** uhm

 **Peter:** dinner’s at six?

 **Harry:** soooo 

**Harry:** like half an hour?

 **Peter:** shgsug

 **Peter:** do you want me to pick you up

 **Harry:** no no 

**Harry:** wiat are you at the tower or your lake house 

**Peter:** tower

 **Harry:** cool okay

 **Harry:** uh

 **Harry:** give me like twenty minutes

 **Peter:** omg okay

 **Peter:** i have to go clean my room now

 **Harry:** what are you mom’s favorite flower?

 **Peter:** lilacs 

**Peter:** why?

 **Harry:** she’s teh host? 

**Peter:** you don’t have to get her anything

 **Harry:** i mean 

**Harry:** it’s kind of rude ot show up without something for the host

 **Peter:** I don’t bring your parents anything when i come over

 **Harry:** well they don’t _know_ you’re over so

 **Peter:** i see your point

**_Assemble_ **

**Tony:** @everyone

 **Tony:** Team dinner at the tower tonight. 

**Peter:** _dad no_

 **Carol:** what are we having

 **Clint:** ^ the deciding factor

 **Bucky:** ^^

 **Sam:** ^^^

 **Nat:** Curious - Peter only says that when it’s something potentially embarrassing. 

**Steve:** Should we really be embarrassing Peter?

 **Sam:** yes

 **Bruce:** Thor and I will be there. 

**Peter:** _please don’t_

 **Pepper:** honey

 **Carol:** interesting

 **Tony:** Come meet Peter’s boyfriend. Help me intimidate him. 

**Nat:** Oh, don’t do that - he’s like a kitten

 **Tony:** Since when have you been the moral backbone of the team?

 **Clint:** where have you been living?

 **Clint:** Nat’s _always_ been my moral backbone

 **Carol:** _i’ll be there_

 **Clint:** i still haven’t figured out the food

 **Clint:** _what are we eating_

 **Tony:** Peter’s embarrassment. 


	24. Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations at the bottom!

Peter was genuinely mortified. 

If he could go back to when he was seven and look in his social worker’s eyes and _beg_ to be put in any home other than Tony Stark’s he would. If he could go back and shut his nine year old self up when he agreed readily to be adopted officially into the Stark family he would. 

Unfortunately, time travel did not exist yet and Peter’s dramatics were _not_ appreciated by his equally dramatic family. Harley’s shoe hit him squarely on the forehead from where Nebula had chucked it and she didn’t look the least bit sorry when he turned his miserable gaze to her. “Stop whining.” Her voice held no room for argument but she was smart enough to be well aware that Peter was _going_ to keep whining for weeks afterwards. 

“I told him this was a _family_ dinner.” Peter threw Harley’s shoe back at her a little too hard and Nebula caught it with a wince. “ _This_ is more than just a family dinner.” 

“You’ve barely been home this entire vacation,” Nebula pointed out unhelpfully and leaned against the door jam after tossing the shoe at its owner who had been walking by. “They miss you.” 

“I’m going to text him and tell him not to come.” Peter spoke the words into his pillow even if they _were_ half hearted. It was much too late now, Harry was already on his way and Peter had heard the loud arrival of Steve, Sam, Bucky and Carol only moments earlier. They had been “nearby” apparently, and it was the nearly inaudible snort from Bucky that clued Peter into _that_ lie. 

“Rhodey’s coming too.” Nebula said it as though it was a consolation prize which, to her, it most likely was. Her and Rhodey got along swimmingly - she had been older when Tony had adopted her and she had respected the Colonel in Rhodey before she had respected the hero in their father. For her, Rhodey was an obvious choice to have on her side in an argument or embarrassing situation. For Peter, James Rhodes had known him since he was seven and had albums upon albums of embarrassing childhood photos kept in his apartment. If _anyone_ was going to embarrass him this entire evening it was going to be Rhodey, Tony, and _probably_ everyone else. 

Peter groaned again, contemplated making up some sort of Spider emergency and just swinging by Harry on his walk over but it was a lost cause. He heard the knock before anyone else, sprung to his feet and realized that in his panic he had completely forgotten to _actually_ tidy up his room. He was desperately torn between stuffing all of the clothes he had simply left on the floor into his closet, and getting the door before anyone else and, instead, managed to trip over a sock and fall into Nebula. She caught him around the elbows, stumbled just enough to knock over _Harley_ and the three of them - like the cluster of disastrous children they were - fell into the hallway at the exact moment that Carol swung open the door. 

Sometimes, in moments of complete clarity, Peter was struck with just how _odd_ his life was. 

The house must have looked a sight - not at _all_ like the quiet elegance that the Osborn home exuded. Steve and Sam were arguing over whether the cake they brought _had_ to go in the refrigerator rather passionately, Bucky was doing bicep curls with Morgan hanging all of her weight off his metal arm, Pepper was trying to get _whatever_ Tony had stuck in his hair out before it hardened, at some point Clint and Nat had arrived and were trading knives while sitting on the kitchen counter and… well Peter, Nebula, and Harley had quite literally tumbled into the hallway in full view of everyone else. Not to mention Carol. She was _beaming_ , had dressed in her nicest casual clothes, and all but yelled out a peppy and _much_ too happy, “Bonjour!” She absolutely butchered the pronunciation - which was only funny because Peter didn’t even _try_ to get it right himself - and Harry’s shock disappeared into indignation for just a moment before he recovered. 

He did so remarkably well, Peter had to commend him on that. He blinked, seemed to realize exactly _who_ was standing in front of him and then took in everyone _else_ that had arrived at a “family” dinner. Peter winced, tried to bury his face in the belly of Nebula’s shirt and got pushed away by the hard heel of her hand. 

The grace in which Harry seemed to simply accept what was happening was something Peter didn’t honestly expect. It was like watching his father’s mask close over his face as Harry’s features rearranged into whatever defalt he had when he was caught completely off guard with so many eyes on him. His shoulders straightened, his lips curled up in a small smile and the nervousness Peter had noticed when the door had first opened had vanished completely behind a wave of cool indifference in his eyes. It was _completely_ different from how Harry had reacted to Natasha a few days earlier but that, Peter remembered, had just been the three of them. Harry was better in small groups and he _didn’t_ enjoy being surprised nearly as much as the Avengers enjoyed surprising people. “Bonjour.” He greeted Carol back almost absentmindedly and the _look_ Pepper sent Tony’s way was enough to have his father almost cowering in response. 

She hadn’t been a fan of Tony’s impromptu team dinner, either, and had fixed him with her gaze of disapproval that all of the children had learned to fear just moments after reading the text message. She had assured Peter that everyone would be on their best behavior and, if they weren’t, they would have to deal with not just her wrath but Natasha’s as well, since apparently Harry had been granted _her_ stamp of approval. Pepper abandoned her husband’s hair as a lost cause and swiftly stepped in front of Carol before she could possibly scare Harry off. Pepper was, at least, a familiar face for him - even if they hadn’t spoken much beyond a few polite words in greeting before. “I promise they’re not all that scary.” Pepper did what she did best, noticed the way Harry had tensed and eased him in the door was a kind smile. 

Peter would _always_ be grateful for Pepper being in his life. “Oh, uhm,” the flowers in Harry’s hands shook just slightly - just enough for the trained eye to see and slid under most of the Avenger’s radars - and he held them out in front of him like a shield and didn’t meet Pepper’s eyes. “These are for you.” 

Nat frowned, caught Peter’s gaze as he pushed himself up, and when he shook his head she nodded once sharply before kicking Clint in the shin and jumping off the counter. “Что? - Мне ничего?” 

The smile Harry sent her was absolutely shy and he ducked his head just enough that, if the flowers were closer, his nose would have brushed the petals. Endearing. Peter was so _gone_ for him it was insane. Peter pulled both Nebula and Harley to their feet, rolled his eyes at his brother’s near silent whining, and slid in neatly next to Pepper’s side as she took the flowers and smelled them deeply. “Lilacs.” She smiled and Peter, mentally, checked one more box of his imaginary approval list off. “They’re my favorite.” 

“Hey,” Clint choked on a laugh at Peter’s breathless greeting and winked cheekily at his glare. If Harry realized he had reverted to what Peter lovingly called his _American movie accent_ he only dropped into his more natural bastardized mix match once Peter spoke. His shoulders dropped in relief and a small blush painted itself over his cheeks. 

Peter _wanted_ to kiss him but almost all of the activity - save for Harley muttering to Nebula about how his tragic fall in the hallway had injured his elbow - had stopped to stare at them. It made _Peter_ uncomfortable and he had grown up with all of them. “Hi.” It was a small greeting, one that had Peter torn between melting into the ground and shoving him against the wall until he stuttered around which language was the right one to speak. 

Tony cleared his throat and, with a screwed up face, stopped just a step behind Natasha. “Mister Osborn.” Peter glared at the way his father’s lips twitched in his efforts to keep his smile off his face. 

“Mister Stark.” Unluckily for Tony, Harry was much better at snark than the media gave him credit for. He had been raised on a boarding school education and Norman Osborn’s rants on how absolutely terrible Tony Stark was. His politeness didn’t even war with his ability to toy with sass and it wasn’t at _all_ missed by anyone that Harry tilted his accent just _enough_ that Stark sounded like Stank. His father’s eyebrow twitched, Pepper hid her face by turning to get a vase, Natasha shared an amused look with Clint, and Sam - the only member of Team Cap _not_ being used as Morgan’s jungle gym - barked out a laugh. 

“Damn, I like this kid.” Another box checked and Peter was up to six and had secured the majority. Even if Harry somehow struck out with everyone else in his family, they would _have_ to just deal with it. “Sam, nice to meet you.” Sam was the first to offer his hand for Harry to shake and he seemed almost shocked by it before his mind caught up to where exactly he was. “Hey, Buck! Did you hear what this kid called Stark?” 

It had the desired effect, Tony turned around sharply to keep Sam from saying more while Bucky intercepted just for teasing material later on. Steve, poor Steve, was caught in the middle of the four of them, Morgan sitting happy on his shoulders and laughing at the desperate antics of her father to get Sam to be quiet. Pepper rolled her eyes, jerked her head to the side to tell Peter it was fine for him and Harry to escape to somewhere more private and Nat gestured something at Clint that had him laughing. 

Peter left the door open - even if he _wanted_ to close it Friday would have just reopened it moments later - and somehow had managed to forget, _again_ , that his room was an actual disaster. The mess didn’t have Harry collapsing against the wall, though, and unfortunately neither did Peter’s lips. Instead, Harry leaned against the baby blue wall in pure mortification, his cheeks flamed red and face hiding in his hands. 

Peter wasn’t one to laugh at someone’s struggle but Harry kept _muttering_ to himself in a language Peter didn’t understand and he couldn’t help the way a soft laugh bubble up out of his lips. “Oh _Har_.” He pulled at Harry’s wrists until they revealed his face, and let them, instead, wrap around tight to his lower back and forehead bump against his shoulder. Peter breathed him in, smiled against the soft brush of his hair under his cheek, and squeezed him tight around the shoulders. “I didn’t know it was going to be everyone.” Peter assured after a moment. 

“I _ignored_ Carol Danvers.” Harry sounded so completely miserable that Peter had to purse his lips to keep from laughing in his face. 

“Yes, you did.” 

“Je suis une idiote.” Harry muttered but willingly leant back when Peter pushed on his hip. Peter had had boys in his room before - even boys he had gone on a few clumsy dates with - but none of them looked as divine as Harry did pressed up against the wall. When he kissed him his lips met Peter’s with the same enthusiasm and his back arched just enough for Peter to slide a hand around to grip at the fabric of his shirt. Peter was incredibly aware of his family just outside of the room - as well as the open door - and so, even if he _wished_ he could completely ravish Harry Osborn against his wall he had to engage all of his strength from doing so. 

“Knowing Carol,” Peter said after a moment of staring exclusively at Harry’s lips, “She’s going to shake off what happened before and approach using a different method. She’s good at thinking on her feet and she is _way_ too excited to meet you to not keep trying.” 

“Meet _me_?” Harry gestured to himself as though he wasn’t worth getting excited to meet but before Peter could counter it Harley barged into the room with all of the decorum of a rodeo clown. 

“Stop making out,” he fell face forward onto Peter’s bed despite the rumpled sheets and tossed his phone in their general direction. Peter contemplated letting it crash and break on the floor but caught it in an effort to make up for causing their collapse earlier. “And _help_ me.” 

“With what?” Stepping away from Harry wasn’t exactly _easy_ , it never was, but Peter did it all the same and sat himself down on his desk chair and fingers toying with Harley’s Hulk phone case. It had been a joke gift from Bruce for Christmas but it was about as indestructible as the man himself and Harley had a habit of cracking phone screens. 

“Not _you_ .” Harley scoffed at the mere idea and, Peter, on the verge of insulted, was more than a little startled when his brother plucked the phone from his fingers and, instead, presented it to Harry. “What does that _mean_?” 

Peter tried to peer over Harry’s shoulder but Harley kicked his chair away which - thanks to wheels - sent him almost crashing into the wall. Harry, though, furrowed his brow that way it always did when he was thinking and then laughed loud enough that he managed to catch himself off guard. Peter glanced at the doorway, noticed Pepper walking by with a soft smile on her face and Morgan trotting after, and then back at where Harry had sat down next to Harley to walk him through a response. “Can I?” Harry asked politely before typing and only did so at Harley’s slow and confused nod. 

“What the hell are you writin’?” Harley sat up, confusion etched in his face and Peter was content to watch the way Harry’s face contorted when he wrote _whatever_ it was that he found funny. 

“C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser,” Harry’s words curled expertly around his tongue and Peter couldn’t help the way his teeth scraped against his bottom lip. “Et l’autre s’écrie, ‘Oh purée!’” 

“He's goin’ to know that’s not me.” Harley seemed almost crestfallen at the idea and Peter suddenly realized that it was _Marco_ he was asking for help with. 

“ _Or_ ,” The accent Harry had just used followed with him when he spoke English and he handed Harley back his phone with a coy smile. “He’ll think that you did research to impress him.” 

“I don’t even know what that means.” Harley still took his phone, though, and cradled it to his chest like it was a precious commodity. His brother didn’t just _like_ Marco then, Peter thought, but instead actually _wanted_ to be more than phone tag buddies with him. 

“It’s just a stupid joke.” Harry waved off the question. “It’s not nearly as funny in English.” 

“I _love_ stupid jokes.” Peter perked up, Harley groaned, and Harry smiled that _one_ smile that Peter had a feeling was just for him. 

“This is the story of two potatoes.” Harry said with a sparkle of humor in his eyes that made Peter smirk at his brother’s misfortune. “One of them is run over and the other one says ‘Oh _purée!_ ’” Peter didn’t necessarily get it - there was _clearly_ more to the joke than English could provide, but the way Harry _laughed_ was enough to make Peter laugh too. 

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Peter:** Harry really is in my house about ready to fuck up the Winter Soldier’s night

 **Gwen:** oh?

 **Gwen:** i totally forgot you know Avengers

 **Peter:** [UNO](https://pin.it/5BEuD8t)

 **Marco:** le faire

 **Harry:** i’m going to

 **Peter:** _omg he s c r e a m e d_

 **Harley:** there will be a murder here tonight

 **Ned:** ahhhh

 **MJ:** nice

 **Peter:** Bruce came over right

 **Ned:** Banner?! 

**Harry:** not Wayne

 **MJ:** ha! Batman reference

 **Peter:** and Harry’s first comment went like this: 

**Peter:** _Bruce Banner? Sometimes i read your rejection letter to Oscorp as a lullaby_

 **Marco:** omg

 **Gwen:** GOLDEN

 **Ned:** I’m screaming

 **Harley:** it _was_ fantastic

 **Gwen:** [Gwen](https://pin.it/KswrG8N)

 **Marco:** choit!

 **Peter:** hm?

 **Harry:** no

 **Marco:** oooh?

 **MJ:** w o w

 **Peter:** whoops

 **Harley:** what just happened there

 **Ned:** idk

 **Peter:** Carol called Harry cute and he died

 **Harry:** _don’t_

 **Peter:** [Harry](https://pin.it/3i50zSz)

 **Harry:** _rude_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonjour - hello! 
> 
> Что? - Мне ничего? - What? None for me?
> 
> Je suis une idiote - I am such an idiot
> 
> le faire - do it


	25. New Years Eve Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations at the bottom!

**_Gwenasaurus_ **

**Gwen:** what are you doing for NYE tonight

**Harry:** death

**Gwen:** _Harry no_

**Harry:** but why

**Gwen:** Harold

**Harry:** smh

**Harry:** there’s a party thing i have to be present at

**Gwen:** rich people party?

**Harry:** they’re  _ all _ rich people parties

**Harry:** i totally scored tickets for Ned, his gf, and MJ

**Gwen:** you’re so sweet

**Gwen:** they’re going to hate it

**Harry:** MJ will

**Harry:** but  _ you’ll _ get plenty of pictures of her looking nice 

**Gwen:** you know the way to my heart, rich boy

**Harry:** i know

**Harry:** what are  _ your _ plans

**Gwen:** oh!

**Gwen:** Marco’s coming up to spend the night here

**Gwen:** we’re chilling with Grandad 

**Harry:** fuck 

**Harry:** i miss Grandad

**Gwen:** i’m going to drink  _ all of your cider _

**Harry:** r u d e

**Gwen:** that’s me for you

**Gwen:** _ sucks to be you _

**Harry:** well shit

**Harry:** guess who’s not getting MJ pictures then

**Gwen:** you’re a real bitch, Osborn

**Harry:** idk why you’re shocked

**Harry:** i never claimed to be anything but

**Gwen:** go make out with your boyfriend

**Harry:** i’m literally stuck in a meeting right now

**Gwen:** you have more meetings than the actual CEO

**Harry:** he’s here too

**Gwen:** i mean 

**Gwen:** of course

**Gwen:** who’s the meeting with?

**Harry:** Rand Industries

**Harry:** their CEO doesn’t seem impressed at all with dad and it’s vaguely entertaining

**Gwen:** do you even know what the meeting is about?

**Harry:** oh yeah

**Harry:** OSCORP wants ot collaborate with them on a new medication for alzimers

**Harry:** did… did i spell that right

**Harry:** that doesn’t look right

**Gwen:** alzheimer's*

**Harry:** _ why the fuck are all those letters in there when none of them are pronounced _

**Gwen:** you’re  _ French _

**Gwen:** you literally pronounce  _ no letters _

**Harry:** but that

**Harry:** why is there a z and then an h and 

**Harry:** _ how does that make sense _

**Gwen:** how does the word écureuil make sense

**Gwen:** _ tell me that _

**Harry:** you

**Harry:** that’s not  _ that _ hard

**Gwen:** Harold

**Gwen:** you literally have to do so many weird things with your tongue 

**Harry:** Gwen you’re always doing weird things with your tongue

**Gwen:** _ you bitch _

**Harry:** you can’t see me but i’m quaking in my boots

**Harry:** wiat yuck i take taht back

**Harry:** that saying is disgusting

**Gwen:** quake you bitch quake

**Gwen:** do you even  _ own _ boots

**Gwen:** or are all your shoes disgusting dress shoes and sneakers that cost more than your tuition

**Harry:** more than a small country

**Harry:** get it  _ right _ Gwen

**Gwen:** more than all of London

**Harry:** more than the entire United States 

**Gwen:** how’s the meeting

**Harry:** Danny Rand showed up to the meeting without shoes on and honestly that’s such a power move and i’m here for it

**Gwen:** the not giving a fuck attitude there

**Gwen:** i love to exude it

**Harry:** he’s just quoting proverbs at everyone present

**Gwen:** wait like

**Gwen:** full suit and barefoot or 

**Harry:** well he wasn’t  _ naked _ Gwen

**Gwen:** it’s NY weirder shit has happened

**Gwen:** take you for example

**Harry:** hey

**Gwen:** or their resident pajama spider 

**Harry:** he doesn’t wear pjs

**Gwen:** not  _ anymore _

**Harry:** the onesie was cute

**Gwen:** trust me Harry, we  _ all _ remember your raging hard on for Spider-Man

**Harry:** i do  _ not _ have a hard on for Spider-Man

**Gwen:** well not  _ anymore _

**Gwen:** not since you have a hot boyfriend

**Harry:** this complicates matters greatly

**Gwen:** what does?

**Gwen:** does Peter hate Spidey?

**Gwen:** how do you  _ thrive _ with that negative energy

**Harry:** i mean it’s not like 

**Gwen:** with your dad it’s pure rebellion boner

**Harry:** _ Gwen _

**Gwen:** oh i’m sorry am i talking too scandalous for you

**Gwen:** don’t you dare tell me that half the turn on for you with Spidey wasn’t that your father hates him

**Harry:** that sounds so

**Gwen:** so what

**Harry:** _ wrong _

**Harry:** i don’t

**Gwen:** pure rebellion 

**Gwen:** my rebellious little kitten

**Harry:** why does everyone call me a kitten

**Gwen:** because you’re cute, small, and try to act scary

**Harry:** you’re just  _ attacking _ me today

**Gwen:** send me pictures of Peter’s very hot lesbian friend tonight and i’ll stop

**Harry:** oo  _ crafty _

**Gwen:** i learned from the best

**Harry:** still  _ no _

**Gwen:** oh wow

**Gwen:** i learned from the  _ worst _

**Harry:** flattery gets you nowhere

**Gwen:** i’m talking about  _ you _

**Harry:** i know

**Gwen:** jfc

**Gwen:** you’re a disaster Harry Theopolis

**Harry:** have you  _ looked _ at my name

**Harry:** ofc i am

**Gwen:** omg you can totally ask your mom why she gave you that name now

**Harry:** tis a cursed cross i must bear

**Harry:** until i am 18 and can legally change my name

**Gwen:** two more months

**Gwen:** omg  _ two more months _

**Gwen:** what are we going to do for your birthday

**Gwen:** you’re gonna be a big one this year

**Harry:** don’t

**Gwen:** a whole ass big boy

**Harry:** Gwen

**Gwen:** _ f i v e  _

**Harry:** fuck you, Stacey

**Gwen:** no you’re a b o y and boys are i c k y

**Harry:** you are my worst friend

**Gwen:** you are  _ the bane of my existence _

**Harry:** that’s the shit

**Gwen:** lmao

**Gwen:** i miss you, my favorite gay boy

**Harry:** don’t tell Marco he’ll cry

**Harry:** but i miss you too

**Harry:** only a few more days here

**Gwen:** you excited to come back home?

**Gwen:** i’m mostly happy i actually got to talk to you this vacation

**Harry:** it’s made it  _ moderately _ better

**Harry:** i am

**Gwen:** you’ll miss Peter though, yeah

**Harry:** i’m trying not to think about that

**Gwen:** oops

**Gwen:** have you two talked about what you’ll do when you come back home?

**Harry:** no

**Harry:** we haven’t really

**Harry:** talked about  _ much _

**Gwen:** always doing other stuff huh

**Harry:** i mean yeah

**Gwen:** dirty boys

**Harry:** why do you keep going back to sex today Gwen

**Gwen:** i may have already started drinking

**Harry:** it’s two thirty Gwen

**Gwen:** don’t  _ judge me _

**Gwen:** if you were here we’d be shitfaced already

**Harry:** get drunk once and your friends hold it against you forever

**Gwen:** you waxed poetic about Peter Stark’s ass for hours Harry

**Gwen:** _ h o u r s _

**Gwen:** i am going to hold that against you for years

**Harry:** blackmail works two ways Gweneth

**Gwen:** fucking bet 

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Harry:** Gwen is drunk as fuck alreayd and it’s only two

**Harry:** already*

**MJ:** thirty*

**MJ:** let her live her life 

**Gwen:** yeah Harry

**Gwen:** let me live my life

**Peter:** it’s so early 

**Ned:** it’s  _ eight  _

**Peter:** _ it’s so early _

**Harley:** Morgan’s had us up since  _ five _

**Peter:** _ it _

**Peter:** _ is _

**Peter:** _ so _

**Peter:** _ early _

**Harry:** you’ve been texting me since you woke up

**Peter:** why do you have to throw me under the bus like this

**Peter:** i try to be a  _ nice _ boyfriend

**Gwen:** wait you wanna get revenge

**Harry:** Gwen

**Gwen:** @Marco come here

**Marco:** oui? 

**Gwen:** we’re embarrassing Harry

**Harry:** fuck you

**Peter:** only nice embarrassing right

**Peter:** cuz like that’s all i signed up for

**MJ:** boring

**Gwen:** don’t be a box of cheerios

**Ned:** what do you have against Cheerios

**Harley:** they’re bland af

**Gwen:** Harley gets me

**Harry:** Gwen is Raisin Bran

**Gwen:** _ you absolute bitch _

**Peter:** what is even going on right now

**MJ:** quiet, PBS

**Peter:** _ no  _

**Peter:** _Harley why is that catching on again_

**Harley:** beats me, after school special

**Ned:** these nicknames are so weird 

**Ned:** I want one

**Harry:** fruity pebbles

**Ned:** _ that’s the shit _

**Ned:** it’s like vaguely insulting but also sweet 

**Marco:** it’s very  _ Harry _

**Harry:** what does that mean, Kashi Go Lean

**Peter:** i see that rhyme

**Marco:** i will destroy you

**Harry:** try it, Captain Crunch

**Marco:** Harry dort avec des chaussettes quoi qu’il arrive parce qu’il a peur des fantômes qui lui attrapent les pieds 

**Harry:** ha 

**MJ:** here i’ll translate for the class

**Marco:** merci! 

**Harry:** n O

**MJ:** Harry sleeps with socks no matter what because he’s afraid of ghosts grabbing his feet

**Peter:** i mean

**Peter:** ghosts  _ are _ plausible

**Gwen:** what 

**Gwen:** what are you doing

**Gwen:** don’t  _ defend  _ him

**Peter:** i

**Peter:** but

**Ned:** Peter’s too nice to  _ not _ be a good boyfriend 24/7

**Harry:** Marco has a Frozen night light unironically

**Marco:** _bitch_

**Marco:** @Harley make him stop

**Harley:** stop

**Harry:** like you’re scary, apple jacks

**Harley:** _ what does that even mean _

**Peter:** babe, you’re in a  _ weird _ mood today huh

**Gwen:** yeah b a b e 

**Marco:** Harry’s gay awakening was Bucky Barnes

**Peter:** pretty sure he was Sam’s too

**Ned:** I mean have you  _ seen  _ those arms

**MJ:** mine was Pepper Potts

**Gwen:** Wanda Maximoff

**Harry:** _ i was Marco’s _

**Harley:** _ i did not need to know this _

**Gwen:** Harry thinks he’s so tough but i’ve watched him lose his glasses when he’s wearing them like twenty times

**Harry:** and you never  _ tell me _

**Gwen:** he’s only been to Germany because someone fell asleep on him on a train and he was too terrified to wake him up 

**Harry:** Gwen is afraid of  _ frogs _

**Gwen:** _ why do they make that noise?! _

**Peter:** the… the ribbit? 

**MJ:** it’s okay, frogs are dicks

**Gwen:** Harry forgot he was speaking English when bitching someone out once and called someone a “fucking corporate dipshit” right to their face when they asked him to teach them some French

**Peter:** _ omg who was it _

**Gwen:** your  _ president _

**Harley:** omg

**Harley:** you  _ legend _

**Harry:** Gwen stabbed someone with drumsticks before

**MJ:** _ nice _

**Peter:** why

**Marco:** Harry once tried to  _ buy  _ me a date

**Harry:** _ Marco’s  _ first kiss was with his  _ cousin _

**Marco:** _ Harry made out with me to get out of trouble _

**Harry:** _ Marco  _ thinks fairies are real

**Harley:** well shit why do you have to kill his dreams

**Peter:** wait you  _ made out _

**Harry:** yeah we were like fifteen it's  _ whatever _

**Gwen:** most of Harry’s typos aren’t even dyslexia he’s just too lazy to edit them

**Harry:** Gwen thought pansexual was being attracted to  _ pans _

**Gwen:** Harry thought demisexual was only being attracted to demigods

**Ned:** so much is happening here

**Marco:** Harry punched a paparazzi man 

**Peter:** _ oh? _

**Peter:** but like to go back

**Peter:** _ you made out _

**Harley:** jfc Peter  _ yes _ they’ve literally already said this before

**Gwen:** the best part out of that story is that  _ Harry _ broke his own hand 

**Harry:** Gwen has a huge crush on her math teacher

**Gwen:** udsighsdugh

**Gwen:** _ she’s h o t  _

**Harley:** PBS

**MJ:** i mean  _ how hot _

**Gwen:** not like  _ you _ hot just 

**Harry:** when she  _ yells  _ Gwen gets all hot and bothered

**Gwen:** oooo i’m going to  _ destroy you _

**Harry:** _ you ahven’t yet _

**Gwen:** is that a  _ challenge _

**Peter:** _w h a t_ Harl

**Harley:** fuck that nickname

**Harley:** you used to be PBP

**Harley:** and that doesn’t work nearly as well

**Harry:** like… like the drug? 

**Gwen:** _ what _

**Marco:** _ Harry _

**MJ:** like the  _ d r u g  _

**Peter:** i

**Harley:** wtf man

**Ned:** no that’s PCP

**Harry:** ooooooooooooh

**Peter:** _ jfc Har _

**Gwen:** this just

**Gwen:** this

**Peter:** Peter Parker was a total superhero name

**Harry:** ha Parker

**Harry:** i used to play with a kid with the naem Parker 

**Peter:** oh?

**Harry:** yeah his dad worked with mine for like a month

**Harry:** i think he turned down a job or something 

**Harry:** never got to see that kid again

**Peter:** o o o o o o h

**Harley:** _ you’re fucking kidding me _

**Peter:** what

**Peter:** what was that guy’s name

**Harry:** idk????

**Harry:** WAIT 

**Harry:** i remember cuz it’s the same as Nightwing’s

**Harry:** Dick

**Harry:** shit sorry

**Harry:** Richard

**Harley:** he’s screaming

**Harley:** i’m screaming

**MJ:** w h a t the f u c k 

**Ned:** wow 

**Ned:** it’s like

**Ned:** Pete, if you dad took that job

**Harry:** _ no  _

**Gwen:** what am i missing

**Marco:** this is confusing

**Harley:** you two  _ fucking knew each other _

**Harry:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Peter:** sghsugh

**Gwen:** _ you knew each other?! _

**Marco:** it is Fate!

**Harley:** hey Pete

**Harley:** remember when you thought Harry Osborn was a piece of shit rich kid

**Peter:** _ Harley  _

**Harry:** lemmie tell you

**Harry:** i’ve met him

**Harry:** and you’re not that far off

**Peter:** _ Harry _

**Harry:** anyway i have to go into the labs and no cell service there so 

**Harry:** ta 

**MJ:** t a 

**Ned:** _ ta _

**Gwen:** t a 

**Marco:** tata

**Peter:** bye love you

**Harley:** you sure you want _this_ to be where you first send _that_

**Peter:** omg

**Peter:** _ delete delete delete  _

**Peter:** NED WHY CAN’T I DELETE

**Harry:** o 

**Harry:** i

**MJ:** omg take it to DMs  _ i don’t care _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> écureuil - squirrel
> 
> merci - thank you


	26. New Years Eve Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations at the bottom!!! 
> 
> Enjoy the fluff.
> 
> Hope this lives up to the expectations 😂

**_Stark Sibling Chat_ **

**Harley:** hey

**Harley:** hey

**Harley:** hey

**Harley:** @Peter

**Harley:** h e y 

**Harley:** bro

**Harley:** broski

**Harley:** b r o t h e r

**Nebula:** Why am I being subjected to this?

**Harley:** he won’t answer me

**Harley:** PBP

**Harley:** PCP

**Harley:** PBS

**Harley:** Pierre

**Harley:** c h i o t

**Nebula:** jfc Peter answer him and shut him up

**Peter:** no

**Harley:** heeeeeey 

**Harley:** how much are you freaking out right now

**Peter:** shut uuuuuuuuuup

**Nebula:** What happened?

**Peter:** n o t h i n g

**Harley:** our dear brother 

**Harley:** sweet and kind 

**Harley:** and so very oblivious

**Peter:** did nothing

**Harley:** told his boyfriend of

**Harley:** wait how long have you been dating

**Peter:** i

**Peter:** we haven’t talked about it

**Nebula:** I feel like you two haven’t talked about a lot. 

**Peter:** listen we’re just

**Peter:** rolling with it

**Harley:** _ not unpacking that _

**Harley:** either way

**Nebula:** Why does this have to be happening  _ here _ ?

**Nebula:** You live together. Go  _ talk _ to each other.

**Harley:** no this is more fun

**Harley:** _ he told his boyfriend of whatever amount of time that he loves him _

**Nebula:** Congrats?

**Peter:** s t o p 

**Harley:** _ in the group chat _

**Nebula:** Oh

**Nebula:** Well I mean the congratulations still stands. 

**Peter:** Nebula is the  _ nice _ sibling

**Harley:** no that’s  _ you _

**Peter:** hey

**Peter:** at least i’ve  _ met _ my boyfriend

**Harley:** don’t be jealous 

**Peter:** of  _ you _ ?

**Peter:** never

**Peter:** of  _ Marco _ ?

**Peter:** i’m more in awe

**Harley:** god me too

**Nebula:** Is this a necessary conversation for here?

**Harley:** _ god _ Nebs

**Harley:** we love you and want to talk  _ to you _

**Nebula:** So pick up the phone.

**Peter:** Nebulaaaa

**Peter:** are you coming over tonight

**Peter:** NYE and all that shebang

**Nebula:** Why?

**Peter:** cuz 

**Peter:** maybe i miss my sister

**Harley:** _ you’re not even going to be here _

**Peter:** lmao i’m not

**Nebula:** Are you sneaking out again or do mom and dad actually know where you’re going?

**Harley:** he’s “patrolling”

**Peter:** i  _ am _ patrolling

**Peter:** gotta help all the citizens get home safe 

**Harley:** you’re going to be kidnapping your boyfriend from a rich person rooftop party

**Peter:** n o

**Nebula:** Who cares if he is?

**Nebula:** Not me. 

**Peter:** Nebula is the only person in this family to support me

**Harley:** she supports  _ chaos _ not you

**Nebula:** He’s not  _ wrong _ .

**Nebula:** You’re going out with the Avengers?

**Peter:** Defenders

**Harley:** dude

**Harley:** how many teams are you  _ on _

**Peter:** officially?

**Peter:** none

**Peter:** unofficially?

**Peter:** idk like 5

**Nebula:** Pete

**Peter:** ye?

**Harley:** _ wtf  _

**Peter:** what’s your problem  _ now _

**Harley:** y e 

**Peter:** smh

**Nebula:** Do you know any Adults in France? 

**Peter:** uh

**Peter:** no?

**Nebula:** Ask your boyfriend if he does.

**Harley:** _ i can ask mine _

**Nebula:** I don’t know yours.

**Peter:** are you two official yet

**Peter:** or still flirting

**Harley:** unlike  _ you _

**Harley:** we’ve talked about things

**Harley:** and are officially unofficial

**Peter:** that’s

**Peter:** i’ll ask Harry

**Peter:** why?

**Nebula:** Work is sending me out there for a tech fair in mid-January. I don’t know the city and would like a guide to make sure I don’t get lost. 

**Peter:** cool okay

**Peter:** i’ll ask

**Nebula:** Thank you. 

**_Pretty Boy_ **

**Har:** so i made a forgery once 

**Peter:** _ once _

**Peter:** i feel like that’s a lie

**Har:** shh i’m telling a story

**Peter:** so sorry carry on

**Har:** so i made a forgery once and it was in Cas’s studio at work since i dind’t have enough room in the drom

**Peter:** is it in bad taste to tease your typos

**Har:** don’t be a dick, Stark

**Peter:** you used proper grammar so you’re joking so

**Peter:** d r o m

**Peter:** what  _ is  _ a drom

**Har:** your last words as you die

**Peter:** _ damn that’s dark _

**Har:** so is the dorm

**Har:** jfc

**Peter:** lmao

**Peter:** carry on

**Har:** okay so it was in Cas’s studio

**Har:** and the head gallery guy came in to collect one of the paintings Cas was working on

**Peter:** what  _ is _ Cas’s job

**Peter:** just curious

**Har:** authenticator

**Peter:** has she

**Peter:** _ taught you _

**Peter:** how to make forgeries

**Har:** ofc

**Har:** gotta pass along that talent

**Peter:** _ wow _

**Har:** _ anyway _ he put mine on display for a good month before Cas told him that he had grabbed the wrong painting

**Peter:** you’re a  _ criminal _

**Peter:** i am dating a  _ criminal _

**Har:** our first conversation i told you that i hacked into phones for fun

**Peter:** _ i am dating a criminal _

**Har:** technically

**Har:** you’re a criminal too

**Peter:** i am  _ not _

**Har:** vigilantism is illegal

**Peter:** _ it is not _

**Har:** it is  _ to _

**Peter:** don’t

**Peter:** stop typing

**Peter:** let me live happily in my bubble of not being a criminal

**Peter:** _ Harry stop _

**Har:** As you are not appointed by the state to arrest, detain, or act on their behalf than you are  _ in fact _ a criminal. However, as a member of the United States public you  _ have _ the right to patrol the city and defend yourself. A crime that isn’t a felony  _ must _ be committed in front of you in order for you to arrest them. You  _ have _ to be careful on the amount of force you use against someone you’re arresting or detaining - otherwise you’re opening  _ yourself _ up to liability or a civil/criminal suit. 

**Peter:** _ how do you know so much about this _

**Har:** dad goes on a lot of rants

**Peter:** and you  _ listen _

**Har:** when it’s about  _ you _ yes

**Peter:** i have a good lawyer 

**Har:** i don’t doubt your family does

**Peter:** oh

**Peter:** not my family

**Peter:** well dad’s good good lawyers

**Peter:** but i have  _ my _ lawyer and he’s real cool

**Har:** you have your own lawyer? 

**Peter:** you don’t?

**Har:** no????

**Peter:** you should

**Peter:** mostly because your dad’s an asshole but

**Peter:** also just to look over stuff you want to keep confidential ya know

**Har:** i never thought about it

**Peter:** i can ask Matt?

**Har:** _ who is Matt _

**Peter:** my lawyer

**Har:** oh uhm

**Har:** i’ll look into it?

**Peter:** if you don’t want him i’m sure Foggy would take you on

**Har:** his... partner?

**Peter:** yeah

**Peter:** in more ways than one -  _ if you know what i mean _

**Har:** classy, Pete

**Peter:** thanks i try

**Har:** to shift topic

**Peter:** do we have to

**Har:** yes

**Har:** how  _ dare you _

**Peter:** what

**Peter:** what did i do

**Har:** you know what you did

**Peter:** i 

**Peter:** please don’t kill me?

**Har:** i would never

**Peter:** i didn’t mean to

**Har:** you stole my sweater

**Peter:** i 

**Peter:** _ oh  _

**Har:** was that not what you’re talking about?

**Peter:** no 

**Peter:** it  _ is _

**Har:** unless of course you were talking about your random declaration of  _ love _ in the group chat

**Peter:** oh god

**Har:** in which case

**Har:** like rude

**Peter:** _ shgudhg _

**Har:** not for the love part but like dropping it in a  _ text _

**Peter:** _ oh god _

**Peter:** i’m sorry

**Peter:** not for the 

**Peter:** _ fuck _

**Har:** you know no one’s ever told me that before

**Peter:** what

**Har:** aside from like Gwen, Marco and Cas no one’s ever

**Har:** and like  _ i’ve  _ never

**Har:** know what? Nvm. We’re not doing this over text

**Peter:** Har

**Peter:** i don’t 

**Peter:** i don’t take it back

**Har:** oh

**Har:** uhm

**Har:** good

**Peter:** is it?

**Har:** i 

**Har:** i think so

**Peter:** you don’t have to say anything back

**Har:** not

**Har:** not through text okay? 

**Har:** s'il vous plaît 

**Peter:** are we okay? 

**Har:** yeah we’re good 

**Har:** just

**Har:** ~~ i don’t want the first time you hear it to be through text  ~~ **[Message Deleted]**

**Har:** we’re good, Pete

**Miss Madison**

**Cas:** You said it first. 

**Harry:** shh

**Cas:** You  _ said it first. _

**Harry:** _ quiet _

**Cas:** _ You said it first _ .

**Harry:** потише!

**Cas:** Ты сказал это первым. 

**Harry:** _ s t o p  _

**Cas:** Y o u said it f i r s t.

Michelle Jones was a godsend and Harry would go to his grave defending her honor. She had been the first to arrive, Ned and Betty only a few minutes behind her, a tuxedo hugging her body in a way that only a suit would hug a woman and hair artfully curled. She had linked her arm through his, pulled him without shame away from Norman and Emily’s side and over to their own, much smaller, table in a corner. “Take a picture,” she shoved her phone - with a phone case covered in doodled comics - into his hand and posed by a window. 

“Bonsoir à toi aussi.” He muttered and met her eyeroll with one of his own but obeyed. “Hi Ned.” Peter’s oldest friend sidled up beside him, his fingers laced through the dainty hand of who Harry assumed was Betty Brant. 

“Dude, the guy at the door has a  _ list _ .” Ned excitedly rambled. “We were on a  _ list. _ ” 

“ _ And _ they don’t card you for drinks here.” Harry handed over MJ’s phone when she asked for it and scoffed at the immediate frantic tapping as she sent it - with  _ whatever _ lesbians sent to flirt - to Gwen. All of his friends owed him for unintentionally setting them up with attractive Americans. “Which you honestly might need in order to get through the night.” 

“Gwen told me to make sure you  _ don’t _ get drunk.” MJ said without looking up and Harry frowned. 

“I’m not going to get  _ drunk _ .” Only that felt a bit like a lie with the weight of his father’s stare pulling at the back of his jacket. “I might jump off the roof but I’m not going to get  _ drunk _ .” At Ned and Betty’s stricken look he felt his cheeks color. “That’s… that’s a joke.”

_ This _ was why he only had two friends, Harry thought with flaming cheeks. When you spent as long as he did away from the general public it made conversing  _ very _ difficult. 

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Gwen:** Harry don’t get drunk

**Harry:** why 

**Harry:** why am i getting called out

**Harry:** i don’t  _ get drunk _

**Marco:** chaque nouvelle année que vous faites

**Harry:** passer une soirée avec mon père et vous pourriez aussi 

**Harley:** you two switch languages so quick

**Harley:** it’s, frankly, confusing

_**Pretty Boy** _

**Har:** i am honestly the most  _ awkward _ person in existence

**Peter:** clearly you have never met Vision

**Har:** no Peter

**Har:** of course i haven’t

**Har:** we don’t  _ all _ know superheroes

**Peter:** MJ told me you made an uncomfortable joke 

**Har:** why are all of my friends reporting on me today

**Peter:** she said

**Peter:** and i quote

**Peter:** your boyfriend just threatened to jump off the roof 

**Peter:** will Spidey be swinging by to catch him

**Har:** he better  _ not  _ be

**Peter:** you don’t want a midnight kiss

**Har:** with  _ Spider-Man _

**Har:** no

**Har:** with my boyfriend? 

**Har:** ofc

**Peter:** i have something to confess Har

**Har:** ?

**Peter:** i  _ am _ Spider-Man

**Peter:** ‘s accountant

**Har:** i ahte you

**Peter:** are you laughing?

**Peter:** did i make you laugh?

**Har:** don’t you have hero stuff to be doing

**Peter:** i am

**Peter:** crime really spikes NYE

**Har:** especially from that spider menace

**Peter:** _ stop _

**Har:** JJJ is here

**Har:** should i punch him

**Peter:** yes

**Peter:** right over the balcony

**Har:** would Spidey let him splat

**Peter:** _ no _

**Peter:** because i’m not a  _ monster _

**Peter:** DD might

**Har:** who

**Peter:** Daredevil

**Har:** w h o 

**Peter:** you don’t?

**Peter:** the devil of hell’s kitchen?

**Har:** Pete

**Har:** babe

**Har:** i live in France

**Har:** and there are so many superheroes in NY

**Peter:** fair

**Peter:** can i swing by

**Har:** not after that pun

**Peter:** _ rude _

**Har:** you’re right you are

**Peter:** jfc

**Peter:** you’re so  _ mean _ today

**Har:** i might have had  _ one _ drink

**Peter:** oh god

**Peter:** you gonna drunk text me again

**Har:** _ no  _

**Har:** i’m not going to get drunk

**Peter:** or jump off the roof?

**Har:** or jump off the roof

**Peter:** you better not

**Har:** i  _ won’t _

**Har:** promise

**Har:** MJ keeps making me dance

**Har:** she said i’m her trophy gay boy 

**Har:** she apparently ahs shared custody with Gwen

**Har:** Ned and Betty are actually adorable together 

**Har:** i want one iota of being as cute as them

**Peter:** i have broken up so many fights tonight

**Peter:** and most of them are from completely sober people

**Peter:** dad and Uncle Rhodey are apparently going to set off fireworks tonight at precisely midnight which  _ cool _

**Peter:** hey 

**Peter:** ten minutes until midnight

**Peter:** come outside

**Har:** how am i exactly supposed to make up an excuse to escape 

**Peter:** you’re clever

**Peter:** figure it out

**Har:** you’re lucky, Stark

**Peter:** incredibly

Nerves were clawing at Peter’s insides and tearing them out with angry fist fulls outside of the high rise building. He clenched and unclenched his fists, wished his suit had pockets he could stuff his hands in - not because he was cold but because he was antsy and it would give him something to do - and tried his hardest to look nonchalant resting against the wall. In New York there were  _ always _ people out and about and New Years Eve only increased the number of loud, eager, and enthusiastic citizens wandering the streets. He had been stopped more than once by people asking for pictures and offering him drinks. He had spent the majority of the night on the rooftops, listening for disturbances and pretending he didn’t ache, for perhaps the first time in his life, to be in attendance of a rich person’s New Years Eve party instead of patrolling or on his couch. 

“Spider-Man.” His head snapped up - and he was so incredibly thankful that the mask hid the way his cheeks colored and the instant wide smile that pulled at his lips - and he fumbled with what little grace he possessed to look relaxed and not nervous. 

Why was he nervous, exactly? He had spent the majority of the month by Harry’s side - had slept in the same bed with him, had done  _ more _ than kiss with him - and yet, everytime he looked at him, he felt an infinity of butterflies unleash themselves in his throat. Harry was the unfair sort of attractive - much like MJ, he didn’t even  _ notice _ it about himself. He looked even  _ better _ in a suit than Peter thought was fair to anyone and he  _ did _ have pockets to keep his hands shoved in as he walked. 

He didn’t  _ regret _ what he had said before -  _ loving _ Harry wasn’t an emotion or a theory but a fact and Peter  _ worked _ in facts. It was like the laws of gravity - fundamental and complete and  _ honest _ and Peter felt it with his entire being. It made sense more than Spider-Man did, more than being a Stark did, more than anything in Peter’s life. Inevitable. How dare he ever try to stop himself from falling - it had been a useless and half hearted attempt born of expectations and fear. Eighteen was awfully young to be in love and Harry was even younger. But it was futile - Peter shouldn’t have even tried to hold himself back. 

_ You love fast, hard, and forever, kid _ . Tony had told him that back when he was twelve and suffered his first ever heartbreak in the form of a dog he couldn’t adopt. Sure, his father hadn’t  _ meant _ for it to be applied to his relationship with Harry Osborn of all people but it did. “Hey.” 

Whatever apprehension Peter tried to hide peaked out anyway and Harry tilted his head just enough that his hair fell just a tad in his eyes from where he stood a step away from where Peter’s red and blue fingers could reach out and snag him. “What’s up?” He asked it with a concern that Peter barely felt he deserved. 

“You look nice.” Peter hadn’t  _ meant _ to say that - it was New Years Eve, afterall and Peter had only… three more minutes until midnight. He had never been a fan of the cliche New Year's kiss but something about Harry’s soft smile made Peter want nothing more than to start the year off  _ right _ . He hadn’t meant to say it but it was perhaps the grandest underestimation that Peter had ever said. Harry wore a navy blue suit that sparkled under the city lights and brought out the light blue of his eyes and Peter had never been one to appreciate art quite like he found himself appreciating every angle and curve and  _ color _ that was Harry Osborn. “Sorry, that’s… how’s the night going?” 

“It’s going.” Harry shrugged, kicked at the pavement, and bit at his bottom lip in the way that told Peter that he too had more to say that he couldn’t find the words to. “How’s… crime fighting?”

“Oh, you know,” Peter waved a hand and laughed breathlessly. “Break up one drunk fight and suddenly you’re the expert.” 

Harry quirked a smile and Peter didn’t feel like there was enough air being filtered through the mask and Karen, rather unhelpfully, was asking him if he was going to kiss him already. She quite liked Harry which, honestly, was probably the most grounding thought at the moment. Karen, the AI his brother had slaved over once Peter came out as Spider-Man, approved of his boyfriend. She had seen the best and the worst of Peter and adapted and grew as he did. “Are you cold?” Harry asked and bounced on the balls of his feet. Peter wondered if  _ he _ was - he hadn’t worn a coat afterall and Peter’s suit had a built in heater. 

_ No _ , he opened his mouth to say, only the sharp and high sound of a police siren cut him off.  **Robbery in progress,** Karen said apologetically in his ear and Peter sighed deeply. 

So much for starting the year off right. 

“Sorry, Har, I….” He shot a web and let it pull him a good three feet up before hoisting himself back down - and even upside down Harry looked gorgeous. “Robbery.” He finished lamely. 

It felt like a terrible excuse. They had been meant to  _ talk _ about things. Harry was going back to France any day now and Peter had just dropped  _ that _ bomb shell and… Harry’s fingers were cold when they curled over the edge of his mask and he was so much closer than he had been a moment before. Peter shivered with the fabric curled up to the bridge of his nose and stared at the curl of Harry’s dusty orange hair by his right ear. Unmasking him in public wasn’t exactly a good idea and Peter  _ should _ have stopped him but when his mouth covered his own he, instead, suddenly almost lost his grip on the web between his feet. 

Kissing upside down was  _ different _ .  _ This _ kiss felt different and it was much too easy to chalk it up to the angle and mask and cold bite of air and Peter had to  _ go _ and Harry’s words, whispered against the skin of his lips, didn’t register until he was on his third swing and free falling downwards. “I love you too, Peter Stark.” 

12:01am - the time blinked white in the corner of the mask’s digital display. “Karen.” 

**Yes, Peter?**

“Tell me you saved that.” 

**Of course, Peter.**

**Happy New Year, Peter.**

“Happy New Year, Karen.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> s'il vous plaît - please
> 
> потише! - be quiet
> 
> Ты сказал это первым - you said it first
> 
> Bonsoir à toi aussi - hello to you too 
> 
> chaque nouvelle année que vous faites - every New Years you do
> 
> passer une soirée avec mon père et vous pourriez aussi - spend an evening with my father and you might too


	27. Choose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blanket angst warning 
> 
> Translations at the bottom

There is a moment - right before a glass crashes to the ground and shatters - where everything seems to slow and freeze. Inevitably, you either reach out to catch it before it splinters and get cut in the crossfire of broken shards and stabbing pieces or you jump back to try and avoid the reach of the shrapnel. 

This entire vacation had been a long, played out, and delayed example of catch and release. 

_Something_ was bound to break. 

“Sit.” His footsteps faltered and Harry considered playing dumb and carrying on towards his bedroom instead of stopping in the living room that his _parents_ sat. It was, perhaps, the one time they had ever _looked_ like parents - they had _clearly_ been waiting on him and Harry had woken up later than usual due to the late hour he had retired the night before. He hadn’t bothered unpacking his things from France and they still all sat in the duffle bag he had stuffed them in back in December. Harry had spent a half an hour refolding the clothes he had worn to fit back within the confines and then _another_ bit of time talking with Cas and Marco about where he was going to stay once he arrived back in France until the dorms reopened. 

It was awfully like his father to confront him when he had just woken up, sleep blurry around the edges, glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, and still in pajamas from the night before. Norman, by contrast, looked as put together as he always did - crisp grey suit and shining black shoes. At ten in the morning, Norman had been awake since six and in the office probably until nine. Emily - mom, egg donor, _whoever_ she was - was perched beside him, a tea cup filled with the dark brown liquid of coffee balanced in between her fingers and her blue eyes matched his own when he looked in the mirror in everything _but_ emotion. She was an open book of nerves and Harry had learned to hide his own behind a show smile by the time he was five. Emotions were unbecoming of an Osborn and, regardless, Norman didn’t know how to deal with any emotion that required more than a pat on the shoulder and bandaid. 

“Let me get something to drink.” Harry grumbled through sleep addled words and knew without looking that he wouldn’t be allowed to do even that. 

“ _Sit_.” Norman snapped at him like he was the dog Norman pretended he was and pointed at the chair opposite them. 

_This_ was the moment, Harry thought. The moment where he either tried to catch the glass or took a step back to avoid the shrapnel that exploded outwards when it hit the ground. He studied both of his parents - noted the stubborn set to his father’s shoulders, the meek look in his mother’s face. 

This whole time he had been assuming there were two choices when there was really only one. He took a deep breath, felt something sick and ugly coil around his stomach, and lunged for the glass. “Let me get a drink.” Pride was something that Harry was intimately familiar with - it was a consequence of the way he was raised - pride was more important than happiness. _Pride_ was something his father had never directed his way but _pride_ was something that shined through Harry’s words as he tried to make his way around where his parents were sitting and into the kitchen. 

Perhaps he was simply trying to delay the inevitable, or perhaps it was that everytime Harry stood up to his father this month it had felt like he was carving a knife down his skin. Regardless, he _should_ have been prepared for the way his father’s voice rose and fell as he shot up from his seat, wrapped his fingers firm around Harry’s wrist, and _dragged_ him to the chair. “You will _sit there_ and _listen_.” 

Fear was something Harry had never felt when looking at his father and, even now, with pride clawing at the edge of his throat he felt it push against his constitution. “Let go.” His father’s grip squeezed, once, before dropping completely and Harry set his jaw so tightly he felt it creek in his mouth. “C'est _ridicule_ ,” the French slipped out before he could stop himself and Harry _knew_ \- he _knew_ he was only digging himself a deeper hole to be buried in and throwing the dirt on himself carelessly. As though he didn’t know that he was signing his own death warrant. “This is _ridiculous_ ,” the word felt like a curse and, spurred by the seductive tendrils of pride, Harry didn’t know how to stop. “ _Why_ can’t I get something to drink?” 

“You are acting like a _child_.” Norman hissed, cheeks red and Harry wondered, belatedly, if he looked anything like his father when he was angry. 

“ _How_ is getting a drink acting like a child?” 

“Harry,” Emily spoke then, stern in a way she had no right to be, and placed her porcelain teacup on the coffee table in front of her so that it clinked with the saucer. “Listen to your father and _sit_.” 

“ _After_ I get a drink.” 

It was entirely the dumbest thing for Harry to be so stubborn about, but anger was warring hot against his cheeks and, perhaps like a three year old, Harry was testing just how far he would be allowed to go. It was rare that his father showed him any emotion other than disappointment and Harry was unfamiliar with being deemed important enough to even inspire anger or frustration. And Emily, _Emily_ , telling him to listen to his _father_ as though she was the one he would listen to the most did nothing but make his anger worse. “Stop acting like an insolent _child_ and _sit down_.” It was the look Harry had seen Norman send someone before they got fired and as Harry opened his mouth to argue back his father’s sharp glare had him snapping his jaw shut and legs finally folding under him until he collapsed onto the chair. 

“Thank you.” Emily’s gratitude fell on flat ears and Harry didn’t bother looking in her direction. Why she had to be present was beyond him. Whatever the problem _was_ , whatever it was that Harry did so fundamentally wrong, didn’t concern her. She had practice, though. An ease in which she handled discipline as though she had handled problems before. And, of course she had; she had _nephews_ and siblings and an entire family that hadn’t been involved in Harry’s life for almost eighteen years. 

It _hurt_. More than he wanted to admit. 

“Your father and I-.” 

“How _long_ have you been… _whoring_ yourself out to Spider-Man?” 

“ _Norman_ , this is not how we discussed this.” 

Discussed this. Whatever _this_ was. An intervention of sorts? Maybe. Either way the words were swirling in his head and Harry’s first thought was of _Peter_ \- strong and slim and _kind_ and sweeping him literally off his feet to get to a rooftop. _How does he know_ , Harry’s mind chased the thought like a dog chasing its tail. “ _What_?” He choked on it and was, suddenly, very thankful for the set beneath his legs. “I haven’t….” He trailed off. 

He was increasingly unaware of what was more hurtful - that his father had just called him a _whore_ or that he had clearly discussed whatever problem that had reared its head with _Emily_ before discussing it with him. 

The thing with his father’s anger - as Harry was wont to know - was that it was hot and sharp and burned bright. But it also lost its luster rather quickly and faded to a dull ember once it had burned down whoever it was aimed towards. His words had clearly hit their target and Norman’s shoulders lost some of their height as he sat back down beside Emily and grabbed a stack of papers he had stuffed in a manila folder on the table. He slid it across the wood and flicked it open. 

Harry wasn’t sure if he wanted to see - he wasn’t sure what he had _expected_ to see - but looking down at the photo he was struck with two thoughts. One: whoever had taken the picture was awfully talented - it was a _good_ photo with fireworks exploding in the back framing the buildings. Two: he had never felt as incredibly _idiotic_ as he did just then. “Jamison,” Norman’s words were soft but somehow that made them more dangerous. More likely to be cutting and painful. “Owed me a favor and gave these to _me_ instead of printing them in the morning news.” 

It wasn’t _relief_ , exactly, but something closer to vomit that had Harry swallowing hard. Any other time, any other place, and Harry would have the picture framed and shipped away to Peter. “ _Look_ at me, Harry.” He didn’t _want_ to and doing so… it only enhanced the very _real_ fear that Harry could feel slamming into his gut. His father’s eyes were intense, bordering painful as they poked and prodded at every soft spot Harry had. His hands were steepled in front of him, his leg bent over the knee of the other, and lips in that firm, thoughtful line that Harry _knew_ his own bent into when he was figuring out a difficult problem. 

“It…” It was _just a kiss_. 

Only it wasn’t just a kiss and Harry _knew_ it wasn’t. It was a cumulation of _facts_ and Harry might have disliked his father but, regardless of how terrible of a parent he _was_ , Norman was _smart_ . Lay out the facts as foolishly as they _had_ and he was bound to come to the correct conclusion. “I thought you were dating Peter Stark.” Emily said it like a statement but Harry didn’t even flick his eyes to her and, instead, allowed his father to hold his gaze steady and challenging. 

There was no _correct_ answer for him to give and Harry _knew_ that his father had purposely and masterfully backed him into this corner. If he said _yes_ then he was admitting to Norman everything that he thought he already knew and starting a war he wasn’t sure he wanted to fight in. If he said _no_ then he was… _disowning_ something he didn’t want to disown. He had never been _selfish_ like he had so clearly been when he even had gotten involved with Peter. He should have lost his number and thrown it out and _never_ thought that this was something he could get away with without there being consequences. But Peter’s kisses still buzzed on his lips and he had never felt as _safe_ as he did in his arms and _he was a child_ and _he didn’t know what to do_. 

Silence was dangerous. 

_Silence_ gave an answer Harry didn’t want it to give. “Harry,” Norman sat forward, kept eye contact and Harry was suddenly reminded that he wasn’t as _clever_ as he thought he was. He could hack his way into the United Nations and _fool_ someone like Peter into loving him but he wasn’t anything _near_ as clever as his father. “I need you to tell me the truth.” His heart felt like it was resting somewhere between his feet and his brain swirled with phrases that his father wouldn’t understand that echoed with the tone of Peter’s soft, calm and breathtaking voice. He was terribly afraid of what his father was about to do - of the massive shoe print he was about to stomp into the bleeding organ. _Choose, choose, choose_ . He was _seventeen_ . _He was only seventeen_ . “Who _is_ Spider-Man?” 

_Choose, choose, choose_. 

The word pulsed with the blood rushing through his veins and it _hurt_ because it wasn’t much of a choice after all. The lines had been drawn a long time ago with a school in Italy and a plane. The consequence of acting without thought and following your heart and Harry had _always_ been much too sensitive for a man like Norman Osborn. He held Peter in close to his chest and said without a tremble in his voice, “I don’t know.” 

It must have been like a slap to his father’s face - Harry had never _lied_ to him before. Not so obviously and willingly. _I love you, Peter Stark_. 

His father’s eyes hardened around the edges and Harry had chosen his side even if it was a war he wanted no part in. He knew even without his father ever saying it that he would never be coming back home and _that_ felt a bit like a relief and a bit like a limb had just been sawed off by a serrated blade. “Don’t lie to your father.” Emily sounded almost panicked and Harry wanted to _laugh_ in her face. 

Harry had been lying to his father since he was fourteen. “I’m sorry.” For what he wasn’t sure. For choosing the way he did, perhaps. For not being what was expected of him his entire life. 

Norman sat back in his seat and, with shaking hands, Harry tried to, unsuccessfully, shuffle the pictures back into the file and take it with him. His father wasn’t the one to try to stop him - Harry had taken whatever confirmation Norman had been hoping for and shattered that with every single expectation that had been balanced on his shoulders his entire life. For a _Stark_ . For _Spider-Man_ . For… for someone Harry hoped Norman was beginning to understand he didn’t even know. “Leave those.” Emily ordered and shuffled herself to her feet when Harry, with a deep ache begging him to either scream or cry or crawl back into bed and sleep the day away, merely flicked a glance in her direction and continued to his bedroom. “ _Harold_.” 

Norman didn’t stop her, only draped his hand over his eyes and rubbed at the bridge of his nose, defeated. Emily followed him, reached for his wrist once, twice, and three times until she managed to curl the pale fingers around his skin. He shook her off but she grabbed again, insistent and desperate for someone _else_ that she expected him to be. And Harry was so _tired_ of being what they expected of him. “Arrête!” 

They stopped outside of his bedroom, her hand outstretched and his wrist burning with an unwelcome grip and he had _chosen_ his side already. How was it so easy for her to leave for seventeen years and then come back like he owed her an explanation for _anything_ in the world. “I came back _for you_.” She was crying and it smudged her makeup. 

“I didn’t ask that of you.” 

“I am your _mother_.” 

“You are… _nothing_ to me.” He thought of Cas, then, a paint brush twisted high in her hair and her tinkling laugh at his terrible jokes. He thought of the way she called him _darling_ and teased his crush and said _I love you_ through a laugh immediately after he had dragged a finger dipped in paint down her cheek. “You don’t even know who I am.” 

“You are my _son_ .” Emily insisted and she _did_ look like him - same nose, same freckles, same curl of her lips. 

“ _No_ .” He looked at her, _really_ looked at her - gazed at the bow of her eyebrows, the line of mascara falling from her eyelashes, the way her bottom lip trembled and when he thought _mom_ he thought of dark hair, pretty eyes and dimples. “I’m _not_.” 

It didn’t hurt as much as it should have to admit it. He was the child of boarding school and business and foreign language. They had no claim to him. It didn’t hurt like the sting of her hand, red against his cheek. “You are _my son_ . I _carried_ you. I _fed_ you. You were _in me_.” 

Her words felt like a direct insult to Cas and Harry had never realized how _protective_ he was until it roared within him. “ _Fuck_ you.”

* * *

As a father Tony had become used to finding things where they didn’t belong - for instance, he would wake up and see that Morgan had put milk in the cabinet instead of the refrigerator. Or he would find a candy bar from Harley _inside_ a bot he was tinkering with. Or that one time he found Peter asleep on the ceiling instead of in bed. It didn’t phase him much anymore - not even if he pretended as though it caused him physical pain. 

Tony _loved_ being a father - he _loved_ his big family and his wife and the way he had somehow, miraculously, managed to prove every voice that said he was destined to be Howard wrong. 

Be that as it may, Tony might have been used to finding things misplaced - he _wasn’t_ used to almost _falling_ over one of his children’s romantic partners in the hallway when he opened his door. 

Contrary to what Tony used to bemoan to Peter, he didn’t _dislike_ Harry Osborn. He was a smart kid and he _clearly_ made his son happy in a way Tony hadn’t ever really seen before. He had watched Harry grow up through tabloids and exploitation - conflicting entirely with the way Tony worked so hard to raise his own kids. He saw _himself_ in the fake smiles - a child that was labeled _too much_ by a father that didn’t know how to love. He had made his peace with Howard in the previous years, but he was well aware that if his father were still alive he would have nothing to do with his grandchildren. 

He wouldn’t have _approved_ of adoption - would have seen Peter as a liability and Harley as trash on the street and Nebula as a broken china doll. He would have seen Tony’s love for them as foolish and idealistic and why would he take them in if it wasn’t to _fix_ them. Tony would have argued for years that there was nothing to fix and the rift it would have caused would have been immense. 

Tony blinked, noted the duffle bag and cracked phone and bent head and remembered Harley - lost, broken, and _destroyed_ by a family that didn’t care - and found himself kneeling. _Kneeling_ beside Harry Osborn of all people, despite the way his knees cracked with age, and afraid to touch. “Hey, kid. Peter’s not here.” 

Peter was out with his mother and sisters and Harley was over at his friend Flash’s house doing last minute homework. It had meant to be a day that Tony could relax but, honestly, he wasn’t one to enjoy an empty and quiet home. Not after years without having to suffer silence. 

Harry’s hands were curled around something broken - glasses - and Tony wondered how much Norman _hated_ having such an imperfect child. “I…” He stopped at the word, winced like it caused him physical pain, and Tony tilted his head just as Harry looked up. The bruise caught the light, then, purple on his cheekbone and darker than his freckles. “I didn’t know where else to go.” 

Tony _knew_ without needing an explanation and his sigh hurt more than he expected it to. People like Norman Osborn… they never really changed did they? “Okay, kid.” He kicked out his legs, stretched them beside Harry’s own and tossed an arm carefully over the shoulders of his son’s boyfriend. _You’re safe_ , he wanted to say. _You’re home_ , but that wasn’t his place either. Tears were caught on Harry’s eyelashes and he really _was_ unfairly beautiful - him and Peter made the perfect couple even in broken pieces. Tony didn’t really have a place there - he wasn’t Pepper and he didn’t have the comforting motherly touch - but he _was_ a literal superhero and he _did_ have shoulders strong enough for a child to lay their head. He breathed in deep through his nose, wondered how long Harry had been simply _sitting_ there, and did the only thing he knew to do. “Okay.” He jostled lightly on Harry’s shoulder to get his attention. “Your dad do that?” 

Harry shrugged and then shook his head. “No.” 

“We should put some ice on it.” 

The back of Harry’s head hit the wall where he rested as he looked up at the ceiling and blew out a shaking breath. “Probably.” 

Neither of them made to move, though and sitting on the floor was hell on Tony’s back even _if_ he was much more fit now than he had ever been in his life. “Ho fatto la mia scelta.” It took Tony a moment to register the Italian but, once he did, he knew he was missing a puzzle piece that he hadn’t even been offered yet. 

“Who said you had to choose?” 

“ _Me_.” 

“Did you make the right choice?”

“Yeah. I… I think so.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C'est ridicule - this is ridiculous 
> 
> Arrête - stop
> 
> Ho fatto la mia scelta - I made my choice


	28. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations at the bottom!
> 
> The book Harry and Peter reference is The Raven Cycle series and I highly suggest it.

**_Euro Crew_ **

**Gwen:** one 

**Gwen:** more

**Gwen:** sleep

**Gwen:** !!!!!

**Marco:** ONE MORE SLEEP

**Cas:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Harry:** yay

**Cas:** _ I’m going to squeeze you so hard _ . 

**Marco:** me voler un pigeon

**Harry:** non

**Marco:** _ lame _

**Harry:** stop talking to Americans 

**Harry:** you’re starting to sound like them

**Gwen:** are you excited?!

**Harry:** endless excitement

**Marco:** sarcasm?

**Harry:** no

**Gwen:** tired?

**Harry:** it’s been a long day

**Cas:** Darling, it’s only one in the afternoon and you woke up at ten. 

**Harry:** it’s  _ only one _

**Harry:** ????

**Gwen:** you good, babe?

**Marco:** comment vont tes parents? 

**Gwen:** babe?

**Marco:** you keep starting and stopping

**Cas:** Do you want me to call?

**Cas:** Are you  _ safe _ ?

**Gwen:** ^

**Marco:** yes, that

**Harry:** it’s been a  _ day _

**Harry:** and the screen is cracked so typing is more difficult than before

**Harry:** i’m

**Harry:** i’ll call you when i’m at the airport

**Cas:** Are you safe?

**Harry:** oui

**Cas:** Okay. I’ll talk to you later, darling. 

**Gwen:** love you

**Marco:** je t'aime, Harry 

**_Girl Crush_ **

**MJ:** your French American friend is crazy

**Gwen:** oh?

**MJ:** he did _ not _ get drunk

**Gwen:** yay

**MJ:** but he  _ does not _ know how to dance

**Gwen:** oh god no

**Gwen:** unless it’s a waltz or tango Harry doesn’t know a  _ thing _ about rhythm

**MJ:** he is good company though

**MJ:** Ned and Betty were being disgusting so the two of us sort of spent the night together

**Gwen:** don’t steal my boyfriend

**MJ:** listen

**MJ:** your boy is cute

**MJ:** but  _ my  _ boy is hot

**Gwen:** excuse you

**MJ:** if i was  _ into _ boys i would have snatched up Peter Stark while i could

**Gwen:** you really think you could have kept those two apart?

**Gwen:** let’s be honest here

**MJ:** fine

**MJ:** then i’d steal them both

**MJ:** and  _ you _ by proxy

**Gwen:** now  _ there’s  _ a concept

**MJ:** let’s just skip the boys

**Gwen:** they have cooties so yes please

**Gwen:** i know i ramble a lot but can i have a moment again 

**MJ:** ofc

**Gwen:** Harry’s  _ off _

**Gwen:** i’m worried 

**Gwen:** like Cas got confirmation that he’s safe but 

**Gwen:** well Harry would say he’s safe while he’s being stabbed to death

**MJ:** ha Peter too

**MJ:** he was fine last night

**Gwen:** yeah but Marco asked about his parents and he just

**Gwen:** didn’t say anything in response

**Gwen:** which is Harry’s attempt at avoiding a painful subject

**Gwen:** and he broke his phone which is  _ not _ a Harry thing to do 

**Gwen:** he loves his phone

**Gwen:** he would  _ never _ break it 

**MJ:** you said his parents never hurt him before

**Gwen:** well no

**Gwen:** not  _ physically _

**Gwen:** but 

**MJ:** his dad’s a dick

**MJ:** i’ve met him like twice and each time is worse 

**MJ:** he was pretty tame last night

**MJ:** i mean he could just be tired and stressed 

**MJ:** you gotta give people time to come to  _ you _ with problems

**_Miss Madison_ **

**Harry:** hey Cas

**Cas:** Good afternoon, darling. 

**Harry:** i 

**Harry:** i don’t think i can go home after 

**Cas:** Home as in your father’s house or home as in France? 

**Harry:** no 

**Harry:** NY

**Cas:** What’s easier for you: typing it out or calling me?

**Harry:** neither

**Harry:** something happened and 

**Harry:** i chose

**Cas:** What did you choose? 

**Harry:** you

**Harry:** Marco, Gwen

**Harry:** Peter

**Harry:** i

**Harry:** it didn’t go  _ well _

**Cas:** What did he do? 

**Harry:** nothing

**Harry:** he didn’t do anything

**Cas:** What did  _ she _ do?

**Harry:** she’s not my mom

**Cas:** Darling, I know. 

**Cas:** What did she do?

**Harry:** i’ll heal

**Cas:** _ Harry _ .

**Cas:** Did she hurt you? 

**Harry:** i’m okay

**Cas:** How bad is it? Do you need a doctor?

**Harry:** just a bruise

**Harry:** i have ice i’m okay

**Cas:** I’ll make sure of that myself when you get here. 

**Harry:** can’t wait

**Cas:** And as for everything else - I’ve been meaning to get a bigger apartment anyway. 

**Harry:** i can’t expect that from you

**Cas:** So you want to keep sleeping on my futon? 

**Harry:** that thing is terrible

**Cas:** Of course it’s terrible it was only 70 Euro

**Cas:** Think of it this way - you get to decorate my new living space. 

**Harry:** our 

**Cas:** _Our_ new living space. 

**_Panda_ **

**Peter:** home safe

 **Peter** : [Peter](https://pin.it/3qGU5HR)

**Peter:** hey 

**Peter:** are we still good for dinner tonight

**Peter:** before you leave tomorrow

**Peter:** fair warning here

**Peter:** i might not let you go

**Peter:** Har? 

**Peter:** are you still asleep?

**Peter:** lmao 

**Peter:** you’re going to be so out of it when you wake up

**Peter:** Morgan just helped a baby shoplift

**Peter:** Nebula hid it for her 

**Peter:** i

**Peter:** have literally no response here

**Peter:** [Panda](https://pin.it/4Hqpg37)

**Peter:** would it be entirely inappropriate to use my father’s money to buy Ned the entire Lego Store

**Peter:** by Ned i also mean me

**Peter:** and you

**Peter:** do you even  _ like _ Legos

**Peter:** lmao of course you do 

**Peter:** only losers hate Legos

**Peter:** can i steal a puppy

**Peter:** you didn’t answer so i assumed the answer would be yes 

**Peter:** i don’t actually have a puppy

**Peter:** which is really heartbreaking 

**Peter:** it’s like two how are you still sleeping

**Peter:** _are_ you still sleeping?

**Peter:** i’m calling you when i get home

Tony wasn’t in the living room when they got home which, really, shouldn’t have been all that shocking. Peter’s father was one to tinker and when offered the opportunity to be left alone for the day he was sure he would have chosen to spend the majority of his time either in bed or down in the laboratory. “Have to pee!” Morgan shoved her way between Peter and Nebula - who, between the two of them, were balancing the majority of the bags - and ran off down the hall, her light up shoes bouncing off the hardwood and steps echoing despite her small size. 

“Morgan, don’t run in the house!” Pepper called after her, rolling her eyes softly and coming through the door last. “Your father wants to meet us all in the lab once you three settle in.” 

Peter didn’t bother agreeing - his arms didn’t ache from holding the bags but his heart had been pulsing with anxious energy ever since it hit him that Harry hadn’t responded to any one of his numerous texts throughout the day. It was odd how much he had come to rely on the other boy’s answers and wit to get him through hours of endless boredom, but the fact that he  _ didn’t _ have him to talk to was driving him mad. In such a short period of time Harry had become such a central part in his life. He had been half tempted to message the group - even simply just Gwen and Marco - to see if  _ they _ had heard from him but the last time they had talked behind Harry’s back about him it had caused a slew of problems. 

Privacy was important to Harry and, really, he was well within his rights to  _ not _ answer whoever he wanted. 

That didn’t _ negate _ the worry though. 

He wasn’t unused to finding the door to his room open - it wasn’t unusual to find one of his siblings (or even his father) hiding in there. He had come home one too many times to Morgan snuggled under his covers, Nebula sitting in his desk chair, Harley going through his science notes and Tony fidgeting with his half made computer. He hadn’t thought Harley was home, though (Harley had a habit of kicking his shoes off right next to the door whereas Peter didn’t take his off until he got to the plush carpet of his bedroom - it was ridiculous the amount of times Peter had gotten himself stuck to the wood). 

Peter was struck, standing outside his door, that it was a breathing pattern that he was  _ intimately _ familiar with in a way that he wasn’t with any of his family. 

Harry had been  _ here _ ? For how long? 

And  _ why _ ? 

What was even more unusual was the thought that Tony had  _ let him in _ when none of them were home. And  _ then _ let him into Peter’s room. 

That was assuming that Harry didn’t just… hack his way into the building (which Peter was about ninety percent sure the other boy could do, even if he never admitted to it). He glanced over his shoulder, saw Nebula and Pepper unloading bags onto the counter to put away the groceries that needed refrigeration and waiting for the other two, and nudged his door open slowly. 

He wasn’t sure what he had  _ expected _ to find - but it  _ hadn’t _ been the almost normal scene that greeted him. Aside from the packed duffle bag tossed in the corner near Peter’s clothes pile nothing was really out of place. Harry’s shoes were neatly lined up beside Peter’s, and any other time Peter wasn’t sure how he would have reacted to  _ Harry _ being in his bed. Even fully clothed. He was holding up a book in front of his face, legs dangling off the edge of Peter’s mattress - sock covered feet kicking softly in time to a melody that only he could hear - and that was  _ Peter’s _ book. He was in the middle of that book and Harry had teased him about reading  _ fantasy _ when he had seen it just earlier that week. 

He didn’t look up when Peter dropped the bags he was carrying in the doorway, but he  _ did _ bite on the skin of his bottom lip and his grip on the glossy cover tightened minisculely. He was hiding  _ something _ . 

And wasn’t  _ that _ odd - after only a month Peter had picked up on so many non verbal tells that it would be increasingly difficult to go back to  _ not _ having them to compare Harry’s words to. “Hey.” Peter decided the best approach for the moment was to not approach the unusual at all and, instead, toed off his shoes neatly next to Harry’s. He shrugged out of the heavy winter coat he had been forced into, rounded the bed to hang it off the pillar of his bed frame and it fell to the ground in what, if it had been anything else, would have been a spectacular crash. “Please tell me you were just playing with paint.” 

He said it but he knew it wasn’t true. 

Peter had been in  _ many _ situations where he had to see, receive, and treat bruises. Even  _ before _ he was Spider-Man - there were bullies and accidents and  _ Harley _ bruised easier than anyone Peter had ever met. He could poke his brother with a feather and he’d have a gigantic bruise in the exact shape of that feather within the hour. The blue, purple, yellow, and  _ red _ on Harry’s cheekbone was a  _ bruise _ . A  _ spectacular _ bruise. The kind that Peter  _ knew _ only a fist could make. 

Harry wasn’t  _ reading _ the page in front of him - his eyes weren’t moving over the page - and Peter had a feeling he had just picked a random page to open to in order to distract himself.  _ He would never hurt me _ , Harry had assured Peter multiple times and he had  _ believed it _ even if every instinct within him told him that he shouldn’t. Perhaps he was jumping to conclusions, but Peter wasn’t an  _ idiot _ and he had grown from the best how to collect circumstantial evidence and arrive at the only logical conclusion. 

It suddenly made more sense - his father’s demand to see them once they got home for a family meeting, the fact that he had let Harry in at all…. Peter wasn’t a stranger to rage, especially if it was born out of protective instincts. He had once gotten into a fight with a reporter for insinuating his mother was a gold digger and he had almost broken a bully’s arm when they called Harley trailer trash. He had to be careful now that he was enhanced, to not cause any lasting physical damage and Peter wasn’t  _ naturally _ an angry person. 

It took more than he wanted to admit to stop himself from launching out the twenty five story high window and somehow making his way to  _ wherever _ Norman Osborn was to beat his body so that it matched the mosaic on his son’s face. “Peter,” His mother had a  _ voice _ that she used when she knew he was on the verge of doing something absolutely idiotic. He flicked his eyes to hers, briefly, to see the soft chiding gaze she had on him and then looked back to Harry - blue eyes that were so overwhelmingly  _ scared _ . Of Peter? For Peter? It didn’t really matter, did it? The outcome was the same. “This door stays open.” Pepper didn’t  _ have _ to say it but the familiarity of the phrase only succeeded in jerking Peter more firmly back out of his anger. 

He unclenched a fist he didn’t even know he had clenched, took the book from Harry’s hands and placed it haphazardly on his pillow. “It’s not that bad of a book.” It sounded weak the way it pulled itself out of Harry’s throat and he stood when Peter pulled on his hands. They were cold, or perhaps Peter was cold, and his eyes were looking everywhere but  _ at _ Peter. 

Peter had seen his fair share of bruises, had treated them with ice and heat and, one time to Morgan when she hit her head, with a bandaid and a kiss. A bandaid wouldn’t exactly make  _ this _ \- whatever it was that had happened - better and Peter’s kisses held no magical elixir for health within them. That would have been a much better enhancement than the one he had been given, he thought. To be able to swipe his lips over anywhere that caused those he cared about pain and heal it instantly. 

Still, he pressed a feather light kiss to the outside of the bruise, directly under Harry’s eye, and let go of the skin of Harry’s arms just long enough for them to wrap tightly around his back. Something wet fell onto the bridge of his nose and Peter flicked his eyes upwards just in time to catch the way Harry seemed to desperately shut his eyes. Secondhand pain… Peter wondered if that was what his father felt whenever Peter had skinned a knee and cried into the collar of his shirt. It hurt more than the bruise would have hurt Peter. It hurt more than getting shot and stabbed and bleeding out. 

Harry let him tilt his chin so that Peter could count the freckles that dotted his nose and disappeared into the purple. Peter stared and it was probably incredibly uncomfortable but he couldn’t think of anything else to do. The words he wanted to say were all wrong - they seemed to pale in comparison to what he was  _ meant _ to say in these situations. “You’re…” Safe, okay, home… they didn’t seem like the right words that would make his shoulders drop. They were what Harley had needed drilled into him years before, what Peter had shown by jumping on the bed and making glow in the dark stars and dinosaurs and…. “I love you.”  _ There _ it was, the drop of his shoulders and strong pull of his arms so that Peter could  _ finally _ hold him and he pressed an off centered kiss to Peter’s jaw before nuzzling into his neck. 

“Your book isn’t terrible.” Harry mumbled into the skin of Peter’s shoulder, choked but composed at the same time and the laugh it startled out of Peter was almost manic. 

“I  _ told _ you it wasn’t that bad.” 

“You remind me of Gansey.” 

“And who does  _ that _ make you? You’re not cool enough to be Blue.” 

“ _ Clearly _ , I’m the king.” 

* * *

The moment the plane touched down in France was probably the most relieved Harry had felt in a long time. He grabbed his bag from the overhead storage, switched his phone off airplane mode and  _ instantly _ found Cas in the crowd standing by the gate. She was  _ beautiful _ in a way that Harry had nearly forgotten and she readily wrapped him tight in her arms. 

Cas let him pull away after a long moment of slow swaying and watched as his shoulder rubbed at his cheek to dispel the tears he was ashamed to admit had fallen and smiled that soft, comforting smile she saved just for him. Her eyes were happy, though, even if her face wasn’t and her bright red nails were gentle when they caressed the skin at his cheek. “My boy.” She murmured softly before she pulled him in tighter, her arms crossed over his shoulders and bracelets clanging together behind his neck. 

_ My boy _ . 

Her voice warmed at the chill that had settled into his body ever since the party - Emily Osborn’s smiling face beside his father’s. Harry looked so much like her - same hair, same eyes, same nose and height. Every time she had ran her hand over his skin the next week had felt like agony and twisted in his stomach. It hadn’t felt  _ right _ . Hadn’t felt warm and comforting and soft. 

Of course it didn’t. 

She was his mother - gave him half his DNA and and carried him in her body for nine months. But she had left and thrust herself into a mother role that no longer had any vacancies. 

Cas smelled like home - guava shampoo and nutmeg from baking. She had paint on her chin and glasses the same as his and they watched bad romantic comedies together every Friday and she took him out of school if he was having a bad day. She expected nothing out of him that he couldn’t give and when her lips pressed a soft, yet firm kiss aside the crown of his head he didn’t think twice about hugging her even tighter around the waist and hiding his face from the world against the skin of her neck. “ _ Maman _ .”  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me voler un pigeon - steal me a pigeon
> 
> comment vont tes parents? - how are your parents?
> 
> je t'aime, Harry - I love you, Harry
> 
> Maman - mom


	29. Bad Pick Up Lines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our boys deserve some happiness, no? 
> 
> Translations in the text because I'm too lazy to put them at the bottom currently

**_Panda_ **

**Har:** PETER I AM SCREAMING

**Peter:** husdg 

**Peter:** _ Harry _

**Peter:** it’s so  _ early _

**Peter:** and my last day of  _ freedom _

**Har:** it’s  _ 8 _

**Peter:** _ e a r l y _

**Har:** whatever shut up

**Har:** _ i am screaming _

**Peter:** wow

**Peter:** this is how you treat me

**Peter:** smh France makes you  _ mean _

**Har:** no i’m just mean

**Peter:** why are you screaming

**Har:** that doesn’t seem sincere

**Har:** nvm i’ll just tell Marco

**Peter:** _ bitch  _

**Peter:** you woke me up

**Peter:** _ tell me _

**Har:** i don’t want to bother you

**Peter:** _ the sun is bothering me _

**Peter:** not you

**Har:** [Rumple](https://pin.it/dMXjHNN)

**Har:** MEET RUMPLESTILTSKIN

**Peter:** W H A T IS  _ THIS _

**Har:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Peter:** you can  _ spell _ Rumplestiltskin

**Har:** i’m dyslexic not an  _ idiot _

**Har:** anyway

**Har:** Rumple! Is! A! Gift! From! Cas!

**Peter:** _ she got you a kitten _

**Har:** i’m crying 

**Peter:** and shouting 

**Peter:** you’re so loud and it’s so early

**Har:** ses petites pattes (his little paws)

**Har:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Peter:** how was the flight

**Har:** unimportant

**Har:** Parce que regarde-le! (because look at him!)

**Peter:** very well then

**Peter:** carry on

**Har:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Har:** anyway

**Har:** hi hon how’s life

**Peter:** hey babe

**Peter:** i mean you just woke me up

**Peter:** but it’s fine cuz like you’re super cute

**Peter:** and have energy reminiscent of Morgan first thing in the morning

**Har:** to be fair, Pete

**Har:** it  _ is _ later here

**Har:** and i’ve had  _ way too much _ tea

**Peter:** heathen

**Peter:** it’s coffee or nothing

**Har:** screw your bean water

**Peter:** _ gasp _

**Peter:** so  _ un-american _

**Har:** let’s be real here

**Har:** i’m _not_ _really_ American

**Peter:** your birth certificate says otherwise

**Har:** dual citizenship tells me i’m French

**Peter:** you wish

**Har:** no i  _ wish _ i wasn’t a pale redhead

**Peter:** impossible

**Peter:** i love that you’re a pale redhead

**Peter:** is your hair even technically red like

**Har:** blonde? 

**Har:** brown?

**Har:** i honestly don’t know

**Peter:** i miss you

**Har:** Peter

**Peter:** i was spoiled waking up with you 

**Peter:** i’d say come back but NY kinda ruined itself for you

**Har:** no it didn’t

**Har:** NY wasn’t  _ that _ bad

**Har:** you won’t catch me going back to oscorp though

**Peter:** good fuck them

**Peter:** would it be wrong of me to just  _ let _ whoever has it out for oscorp slip out of my grasp

**Har:** that is a strangely poetic wya of saying that you’re going to turn a blind eye on crime 

**Peter:** don’t judge me it’s  _ so early _

**Har:** it’s  _ nine _

**Peter:** _ e a r l y  _

**Har:** _ but _

**Har:** i miss you too

**Har:** it’s really nice to be back home though

**Peter:** i’ll bet

**Peter:** how’s Cas?

**Har:** wonderful

**Peter:** yeah? 

**Peter:** other than for getting you a kitten?

**Har:** mhmmmm

**Har:** [Cas](https://pin.it/1XJEUop)

**Peter:** Harry

**Peter:** don’t take this wrong

**Peter:** but as a bisexual man

**Peter:** who is very much in love with you

**Peter:** it’s important you remember that

**Peter:** i feel as though i must inform you

**Peter:** that your mom is insanely pretty

**Peter:** and it is very unfair that the two of you  _ together _ look that good

**Har:** lmao 

**Har:** one: i’m not even  _ in _ that picture

**Har:** two: are you half asleep flirting with me by complimenting my Cas?

**Peter:** your Cas mom

**Peter:** _ maybe i am _

**Har:** wow

**Har:** you  _ do _ need sleep

**Har:** i’m the one jetlagged but you’re  _ clearly _ out of it

**Peter:** n o i’m not

**Har:** you just said, in a very roundabout way, that me and my Cas look… good together? 

**Har:** i really don’t understand that like

**Har:** like good like a couple good or good like…  _ i don’t even know Peter _

**Peter:** sgfiush sdfushufhs

**Peter:** _no like_

**Peter:** good like

**Peter:** like

**Peter:** fuck you’re both just stupidly attractive  _ okay _

**Har:** _ do you have a crush on my Cas? _

**Peter:** _ sgsghgushhdsughgus _

**Peter:** no i have a crush on  _ you _

**Har:** we’re dating that doesn’t count

**Peter:** i feel like it does

**Peter:** okay would you not  _ objectively _ say that Steve is hot?

**Har:** no he’s fucking America and rah rah rah patriotism

**Peter:** _ omg _

**Peter:** Thor 

**Peter:** Thor is hot

**Peter:** but  _ Thor _ is also  _ Uncle _ Thor

**Har:** are you telling me you have a hard on for your Uncle?

**Peter:** _ jfc  _

**Har:** cuz like

**Har:** no kink shame Pete but that’s weird

**Peter:** _ why am i dating you _

**Har:** because apparently i’m attractive and  _ not _ related to you

**Peter:** i  _ hate _ you

**Har:** that goes  _ directly _ against how much you told me you love me just last night

**Peter:** we’re getting a divorce

**Har:** we’re not even married

**Peter:** okay fine

**Peter:** i will marry you

**Peter:** and then  _ divorce _ you

**Har:** that’s going to cost a lot of money, babe i’m an expensive bride

**Peter:** you’re  _ needy _

**Peter:** and  _ mean _

**Har:** but so pretty

**Peter:** go

**Peter:** cuddle a kitten or something

**Har:** i can both cuddle a kitten _ and _ tease the shit out of you

**Har:** i’m multi-talented like that

**Peter:** you’re a  _ pain in the ass _

**Har:** yikes

**Har:** a godo one i hope

**Peter:** i would rather face vulture again than continue this conversation

**Har:** _ yeah _ go fight a bird

**Peter:** _ what _

**Peter:** vulture’s a guy

**Har:** go fight a man bird?

**Peter:** you really don’t know a thing about NY heroes huh

**Har:** no?

**Har:** i avoid the news at all costs

**Har:** unless it’s about aliens or something

**Har:** you know your life is a lot like a comic book

**Peter:** when is Marco getting there

**Peter:** you’re  _ exhausting  _

**Har:** i am  _ insulted _

**Peter:** lay off the tea

**Har:** so you mean get more?

**Peter:** no i mean stop

**Har:** _ more? _

**Peter:** no you’ve had enough

**Har:** _ m o r e  _

**Peter:** Harry no

**Har:** [Tea](https://pin.it/46ZUZcA)

**Har:** _ m o r e _

**Peter:** jfc  _ you’ve had enough _

**Har:** lmao i’m just fucking with you

**Har:** anyway Marco’s here 

**Har:** get some more sleep and text me when you’re up

**Peter:** you  _ rudely _ woke me up already

**Har:** oops? 

**Har:** love you

**Peter:** have fun with Marco

**Peter:** love you too

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Marco:** [Marco and Harry ](https://pin.it/pSqarTp)

**Marco:** he’s  _ back _

**Gwen:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Harley:** how does your shiner feel

**MJ:** gingers have no soul

**Harry:** it’s true i’m a terrible person

**Ned:** you look so awake for having just got off a plane

**Peter:** that’s because of the tea

**Peter:** _he’s had so much tea_

**Harry:** and Peter is a terrible conversationalist first thing in the morning

**Marco:** Harry’s accent sounds weird

**Marco:** i blame New York

**Gwen:** don’t worry we’ll get you back to European in no time

**Harley:** bastardized European

**Harry:** for the bastard

**Peter:** who are you calling a bastard?

**Harry:** myself

**Harley:** himself

**Peter:** i regret you two ever bonding

**Harry:** i thought you were going back to bed

**Harley:** it’s too late now 

**Harley:** he’s been spotted by a Morgan and forced into playing Barbies

**Peter:** she is  _ very  _ upset that she can’t play with Harry again today

**Harry:** that child is brutal

**Peter:** she only hit you with the doll once

**Gwen:** well don’t be so terrible at playing dolls and you won’t get hit

**Harley:** they’re cutting out the best  _ most cursed _ part

**Peter:** please don’t

**Harry:** did i miss this part?

**Peter:** yes you were in the bathroom

**Harley:** _ she wanted them to wrestle like she had seen mommy and daddy doing _

**Peter:** WHY WOULD YOU TYPE THAT

**Harley:** idk 

**Harley:** I REGRETTED IT IMMEDIATELY AFTER PRESSING SEND

**Harley:** _ it seemed like a good idea at the time _

**Peter:** _ Harley  _

**Harley:** i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry 

**Harry:** is that why you both started screaming

**Peter:** _started_ screaming?

**Harley:** we’re  _ still  _ screaming

**Peter:** _ someone topic change please _

**Ned:** i don’t want to go back to school tomorrow

**Peter:** thanks Ned

**Peter:** yes school is terrible i hate it

**Harley:** shut up you teacher’s pet

**Peter:** rude

**Marco:** we move back in tomorrow and start classes on mercredi (Wednesday)

**Peter:** on a mercedes?

**Harry:** why do you always do this

**Peter:** oh i’m sorry

**Peter:** _ is it annoying _

**Har:** you know it’s not Mercedes you  _ know _ that’s not what it says but you  _ insist _ that it is

**MJ:** only two days to move back in 

**MJ:** that’s shitty

**Gwen:** don’t feel bad for them

**Gwen:** their first week is just welcome back mixers

**Ned:** a  _ welcome back  _ mixer

**Ned:** Is that like the NYE party we went to?

**Marco:** oui, only less alcool (alcohol)

**Harry:** tu vas embrasser un élève au hasard cette fois? (are you going to make out with a random stranger this time?)

**Marco:** et trahir un garçon américain comme ça? Non. (and betray American boy like that? No.)

**MJ:** Qu’est-ce que vous fabriquez? (what’s the story behind you two making out?)

**Harry:** Tu veux vraiment savoir? (Do you really want to know?)

**MJ:** Non, je veux qu’ils pensent qu’on parle d’eux. (no, I want them to think we’re talking about them)

**Marco:** génie (genius)

**MJ:** je sais que je suis (I know I am)

**Gwen:** _ yes talk French to me _

**Peter:** MJ

**Peter:** _ i have access to google translate _

**Harry:** _ fuck _ google translate

**Ned:** You’re so passionate about that

**Harry:** ofc i am

**Harry:** _ it sucks _

**MJ:** @Gwen 

**MJ:** j'aime ton visage (I like your face)

**Gwen:** _ ugh _

**Gwen:** Harry

**Gwen:** help

**Gwen:** help me flirt in another language

**Harry:** ew cooties

**Peter:** lmao

**_Gwenasaurus_ **

**Harry:** sei come una barretta: metà dolce e metà noccioline (you’re like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts)

**Gwen:** _ thank you _

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Gwen:** sei come una barretta: metà dolce e metà noccioline (you’re like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts)

**Harley:** _ christ _

**Peter:** omg

**Peter:** _ Harry _

**Harry:** lmao you  _ sent it  _

**MJ:** wow

**Marco:** what does it mean? 

**Ned:** ^

**Gwen:** _ what did you make me say _

**Harry:** ¿Bebes leche? Seguro que hizo bien a tu cuerpo ( Do you drink milk? It sure did your body good)

**Peter:** _stop_

**Peter:** i’m already dying

**Marco:** @Harley si tu étais un poulet, tu serais impeccable (If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable)

**Harley:** _ what _

**MJ:** ha!

**Gwen:** _ what did you make me say Harold Theopolis _

**MJ:** google it it’ll piss him off

**Harry:** _ don’t you dare _

**Harley:** you called me a  _ chicken _

**Harley:** _ w h y  _

**Peter:** my ribs hurt i’m laughing so hard

**Harley:** why 

**Harley:** really just 

**Harley:** _ why _

**Peter:** @Harry

**Peter:** you look great and all, but do you know what really looks good on you? Me.

**Harry:** yeah you do

**Marco:** hahahaha

**Ned:** i am laughing in pure confusion

**Gwen:** _ YOU MADE ME CALL HER SWEET AND NUTS _

**Ned:** ooooh

**Harley:** _ stop it you two _

**MJ:** tu es la femme la plus sexy que j’ai jamais vue (you’re the hottest woman I’ve ever seen)

**Harry:** lesbian flirting ew

**Marco:** tits out

**Harry:** _ Marco _

**Peter:** what is even happening 

**Harley:** mom is so concerned 

**Peter:** _ i can’t breathe _

**Harley:** _ i’m crying _

**Peter:** you’re a fucking chicekn

**Harley:** you’re  _ milk _

**Peter:** ushfush

**Harley:** _ tits out _

**Ned:** wait i have no one to flirt with here

**Ned:** someone flirt with me

**Harry:** Charmanders are red, mudkips are blue, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

**Ned:** !!!

**Ned:** uhm uhm uhm wait

**Ned:** J’abandonnerai mes céréales du matin pour te servir à la place (I’d give up my morning cereal to spoon you instead)

**Ned:** is that right?

**Ned:** the internet told me that one

**Marco:** Ned, je t’aime! (Ned, I love you!)

**Harry:** oh god it hurts to laugh

**Gwen:** _ i will kill you Harold _

**Harry:** Gwen, tu sais que tu es la seule fille pour moi (Gwen, you know you’re the only girl for me)

**Gwen:** no you don’t get to win my forgiveness with  _ French _

**MJ:** it was a cute line

**MJ:** wish you came up with it yourself

**Gwen:** nvm Harry you’re forgiven

**_Panda_ **

**Peter:** you’re happy in France

**Peter:** and that makes  _ me _ so stupidly happy

**Har:** _ you _ make me happy

**Peter:** yeah but so does being home

**Har:** Pete

**Har:** i wouldn’t  _ have _ a home if i didn’t have you

  
  



	30. Assemble Take Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes this one took awhile to get out. Sorry about that! Hope it was worth the wait!

**_Panda_ **

**Peter:** wake up

 **Peter:** wake up

 **Peter:** wake up

 **Peter:** wake up

 **Peter:** wake up

 **Peter:** wake up

 **Peter:** wake up

 **Peter:** wake up

 **Har:** uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh

 **Peter:** good morning sunshine

 **Har:** fuck

 **Peter:** _not so nice now huh_

 **Har:** i’m done 

**Har:** we’re baerking up

 **Har:** no more us

 **Peter:** baerking

 **Har:** va te faire foutre (fuck you)

 **Peter:** mwahahahahaa

 **Peter:** if i have to be awake so do you

 **Har:** no 

**Har:** not true

 **Har:** il est quatre heures du matin (it’s four in the morning)

 **Peter:** _oh well_

 **Peter:** [New York at night](https://pin.it/3oOe01u)

 **Peter:** but look! NY is so pretty

 **Har:** fuck NY

 **Har:** fuck you

 **Har:** i just want to sleep

 **Peter:** maybe _drink some tea_

**Har:** i’m ingoring you now

 **Peter:** no

 **Peter:** don’t ignore me

 **Peter:** Harry

 **Peter:** no come back

 **Peter:** _Harryyyyyyyyyyy_

 **Har:** i love you goodnight

 **Peter:** _i love you too_

 **Peter:** but don’t go back to bedd

 **Peter:** Harryyyyy

**Peter:** i’m lonelyyyy

**Peter:** so i’m out patrolling with DD yeah

 **Peter:** and he’s super badass and stuff 

**Peter:** and says stuff like _no breaks only justice_

 **Peter:** like he’s fucking blind Batman

 **Peter:** but i also just heard him yell parkour

 **Peter:** miss a fire escape

 **Peter:** and land in a pile of garbage so

 **Peter:** like who’s the actual human disaster here

 **Har:** you

 **Peter:**!!

 **Peter:** i thought you went back to bed

 **Har:** no 

**Har:** it was too late

 **Har:** im already awkae

 **Peter:** are you though?

 **Har:** i’m up before the caf opens

 **Har:** so i can’t even get tea

 **Peter:** you poor soul

 **Har:** this is all your fault

 **Peter:** i’m not sorry about it

 **Har:** that’s the worst part

 **Peter:** that i’m not sorry

 **Har:** that i knew this revenge was coming

 **Har:** and stupidly forgot to put my phone on silent

 **Peter:** revenge tastes like sadness

 **Peter:** this is why i’m not evil

 **Peter:** i can’t stomach it

 **Har:** whimp

 **Peter:** you’re so right though

 **Peter:** _pathetic_

 **Har:** hey no

 **Har:** don’t be mean to my boyfriend

 **Peter:** what’s France like at 4am

 **Har:** campus is quiet

 **Har:** Paris is… Paris

 **Peter:** NY is loud

 **Har:** literally all the time

 **Peter:** true true true

 **Peter:** if it shut up i’d be concerned

 **Har:** much like when you’re quiet

 **Har:** you’re either mad or asleep

 **Peter:** are you comparing me to the city

 **Har:** yes

 **Har:** if Peter Stark - or Spider-Man - stops talking than _that_ is when you need to be worried

 **Peter:** and if Harry Osborn starts

 **Peter:** shit i don’t know your angry tells

 **Peter:** what are your angry tells

 **Har:** idk 

**Har:** ask Marco

 **Peter:** i will

 **Har:** don’t wake him up please

 **Har:** he’ll either be really cranky or make me go running 

**Har:** and i _hate_ running

 **Peter:** what are you doing to kill the time

 **Har:** [Art](https://pin.it/SFcsNmd)

 **Peter:** art!

 **Peter:** _why did i never see you do art_

 **Har:** i mean do you really want me ot say why

 **Peter:** depends

 **Peter:** do i have permission to destroy the CEO’s office

 **Har:** whose permission do you need

 **Har:** you already work outside the law

 **Har:** thank god for spell check cuz i spelt all those words wrong

 **Peter:** turn off spell check!

 **Peter:** your typos are fantastic

 **Har:** no

 **Peter:** _also_

 **Peter:** i am not working _outside the law_

 **Har:** we’re not doing this again

 **Har:** i won last time do you really want to keep losing this argument

 **Peter:** you won nothing

 **Har:** i won everything

 **Peter:** shit brb

 **Har:** lmao go save the city

**Peter:** so 

**Peter:** i’m back

 **Har:** oh?

 **Har:** Marco’s up

 **Peter:** is he making you run

 **Har:** no

 **Har:** well he wanted to

 **Har:** i beat him with a pillow until he promised he wouldn’t start that until next week

 **Peter:** rip Marco

 **Peter:** he just wants you to be healthy

 **Har:** he wants me to _die_

 **Har:** in the gutters of Paris

 **Peter:** you can’t _die_

 **Peter:** you’re too pretty for that

 **Har:** _i know_

 **Har:** that’s what i keep telling him

 **Peter:** you don’t know a thing about NY heroes/villains so

 **Peter:** you get my commentary and have no idea if it’s right or not

 **Har:** sounds perfect

 **Peter:** thank you i thought so too

 **Peter:** so i was fighting this guy called the _Beetle_

 **Har:** are all your villains furries

 **Peter:** _stop_

 **Peter:** his outfit is like purple and dark green

 **Peter:** idk what is with these guys and _purple_ and _green_

**Peter:** what makes you think that’s a good color combo

 **Har:** Riddler

 **Peter:** take your _unearthly_ amount of DC knowledge and shove it

 **Har:** w o w

 **Peter:** _i’m telling a story_

 **Peter:** so i’m fighting this guy and he’s _so annoying_

 **Har:** much like you

 **Peter:** _much like you_ fuck Har

 **Har:** f u c k yourself Stark

 **Peter:** i’d much rather 

**Peter:** _oh god i’m not smooth i can’t say it_

 **Har:** say it

 **Har:** _i dare you_

 **Peter:** i’d ufhsduhfusdhf

 **Peter:** _i’d much rather fuck you_

 **Har:** you did it

 **Har:** i’m so proud

 **Peter:** that’s all you say

 **Peter:** i say _that_

 **Peter:** and you only say _i’m so proud_

 **Har:** i mean

 **Har:** what do you want me to say

 **Har:** _yes Peter i’d much rather you fuck me too_

 **Peter:** dgusdhuigsdguisdg

 **Peter:** _well shit_

 **Har:** you asked for it

 **Peter:** _i did didn’t i_

 **Har:** anyway

 **Har:** the caf is open and it’s midnight in NY

 **Har:** go home and to bed 

**Peter:** yes _mom_

 **Har:** i’ll tell your mom you’re still out

 **Har:** i know you have a patrol curfew of 1130 on school nights

 **Peter:** you live with us for a day and are better friends with my parents than i am

 **Har:** go to bed

 **Peter:** _i don’t wanna_

 **Har:** Peter

 **Peter:** i’m gonna i’m gonna

 **Peter:** i have acda tomorrow

 **Peter:** today?

 **Peter:** after school

 **Peter:** call you at lunch?

 **Har:** i would like that very much

 **Peter:** perfect

 **Peter:** love you

 **Har:** bonne nuit, Pierre (goodnight, Peter)

 **Peter:** _that’s not my name_

 **Har:** je t'aime (I love you)

 **Peter:** it’s not fair that you know that your accent kills me

 **Har:** what accent am i typing

 **Har:** stop typing

 **Har:** don’t answer

 **Har:** _Peter stop typing_

 **Har:** _go to bed_

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Gwen:** i have a question

 **Ned:** hi Gwen

 **Gwen:** hi Ned 

**Ned:** who is your question for?

 **Gwen:** literally anyone

 **Gwen:** what is your favorite animal?

 **Harry:** pandas!!

 **Gwen:** yes babe we know

 **Marco:** pigeons

 **Harley:** i thought you said elephants

 **Marco:** shh

 **Harley:** _okay_

 **Harley:** kangaroos

 **Harley:** they can jump kick people without shame

 **Peter:** whereas you can barely jump 

**Peter:** let alone kick too

 **Harley:** you’re a real pos, PBS

 **Peter:** _dogs_

 **Marco:** chiot (puppy)

 **Peter:** _no_

 **Marco:** lmao

 **MJ:** flamingos 

**Ned:** beluga whales

 **Ned:** Betty says hers is a rhino

 **Gwen:** fucking good choice Betty

 **Gwen:** you are all missing the actual choice here

 **Gwen:** _pterodactyls_

 **Harry:** pterodactyls rea extinct 

**Peter:** i am literally _shocked_

**Peter:** that you can spell pterodactyl but not are

 **Harry:** _you know what_

 **Peter:** a r e 

**Harley:** don’t make fun of his disability

 **Marco:** no you can

 **Marco:** he honestly forgot

 **Harry:** Marco is my least favorite person here

 **Marco:** rude

 **Harley:** Marco is my favorite person here

 **Marco:** better

 **Peter:** stop flirting with my brother

 **Harley:** _don’t stop flirting with his brother_

 **MJ:** @Gwen

 **MJ:** why are pterodactyls your favorite

 **Gwen:** _thank you_ for asking MJ

 **Gwen:** you beautiful goddess

 **Ned:** _MJ is blushing_

 **Peter:** MJ also just punched Ned

 **Peter:** _ow and m e_

 **MJ:** stop being a little bitch, Stark

 **Harley:** what did i do

 **MJ:** sorry for the confusion

 **MJ:** stop being a little bitch, _better_ Stark

 **Peter:** ha

 **Harley:** _wow_

 **Peter:** you know pterodactyls aren’t real

 **MJ:** you’re walking on thin ice here, PBS

 **Gwen:** _why do you have to do me wrong like this_

 **Peter:** it’s a pop culture term used to describe both the Pterodactylus and Pteranodon species 

**Peter:** no archaeologist actually uses it

 **Gwen:** i will carve it into your skin with my butter knife

 **Harry:** woah

 **MJ:** i’ll hold him down

 **Peter:** _yikes_

 **Harley:** who’s the favorite Stark now

 **MJ:** Nebula

 **Peter:** fair

 **Harley:** fair

 **Gwen:** not Pepper?

 **Ned:** Morgan’s mine

 **Peter:** i am literally your best friend

 **Ned:** _and_?

 **Ned:** Morgan made me cupcakes

 **Peter:** Mogan _bought_ you cupcakes with mom’s money

 **Ned:** _what’s your point here, Pete_

 **Peter:** am i _anyone’s_ favorite Stark

 **Harley:** @Harry

 **Harry:** que?

 **Marco:** dites à votre petit ami que vous l’aimez (tell your boyfriend you love him)

 **MJ:** Ne le fais pas. Dis à ton petit ami qu’il n’est pas ton Stark préféré (Don’t. Tell your boyfriend he’s not your favorite Stark.)

 **Harry:** velociraptors are cool

 **Gwen:** yes they are

 **Peter:** i

 **MJ:** coward

 **Harley:** _so you’re in an assembly_

 **Harley:** wait Pete

 **Peter:** yes

 **Harley:** hop over to the secret Avengers chat and send that

 **Gwen:** _there’s a secret Avengers chat_

 **Harley:** ofc not

 **Harry:** it’s named Assemble, oui?

 **Peter:** _how would you know_

 **Harry:** how do you think?

 **Peter:** _don’t_

 **Marco:** do it

 **Gwen:** are we encouraging crime?

 **Harley:** what are you going to do?

 **MJ:** yes

 **Ned:** dude i’ve tried to hack it before it doesn’t work

 **Harry:** you sure?

 **Ned:** yes?

 **Peter:** _Harry_

**_Assemble_ **

**Unknown:** _so you’re in an assembly_

 **Peter:** **_n O_ **

**Steve:** _No_

 **Tony:**?????

 **Tony:** who?

 **Tony:** What????

 **Nat:** Привет, красавчик (hello, pretty boy)

 **Unknown:** привет (hello)

 **Tony:** WHO is this?

 **Peter:** i’m _crying_

 **Carol:** who are we torturing today children?

 **Carol:** Tony or Steve

 **Bucky:** both

 **Sam:** everyday is torture Steve day

 **Steve:** you’re both so mean

 **Clint:** who’s the new dude

 **Peter:** _no one_

 **Tony:** _Why_ is there a new guy?

 **Tony:** _Peter._

 **Tony:** Why can’t I kick you out?!

 **Unknown:** it’s really easy to hack into your systems

 **Unknown:** you need to get better passwords

 **Tony:** _Who is this_?!

 **Steve:** clearly Peter knows them so it’s not that big of a problem

 **Bucky:** it’s an ego slap to him 

**Nat:** ^

 **Nat:** of course it’s a problem to him

**_Panda_ **

**Peter:** i hate you 

**Har:** no you don’t

 **Peter:** no i don’t

 **Peter:** it’s a little funny

 **Peter:** keep going let’s see how long it takes him to figure it out

 **Har:** aye aye

**_Assemble_ **

**Nat:** Как Франция лечит вас? Ваш синяк быстро заживает? (How is France? Your bruise healing quickly?)

 **Tony:** _Nat_ knows who they are

 **Clint:** it’s kinda obvious

 **Carol:** idk who it is?

 **Bucky:** Почему у тебя синяк? (Why do you have a bruise?)

 **Nat:** плохое воспитание (bad parenting)

 **Peter:** this is so much more Russian than i’m used to seeing

 **Steve:** shouldn’t you be in class?

 **Unknown:** he’s in an assembly, Star Spangled Underpants

 **Sam:** _omg_

 **Bucky:** kid i love you

 **Carol:** ooooooooooooooooooooh

 **Carol:**!!!!!!!!

 **Carol:** you’re my favorite

 **Bruce:** I am only stopping in to say that is my favorite thing I’ve read all day.

 **Unknown:** thank you Doctor Banner

**_Panda_ **

**Peter:** how much are you screaming right now

 **Har:** _you odn’t understand_

 **Peter:** lmao 

**Peter:** you’re adorable

 **Peter:** never change

**_Assemble_ **

**Tony:** I can’t even trace your phone

 **Tony:** _What_

 **Sam:** that’s called stalking, Stark

 **Clint:** in this case you could get into a lot of trouble for that

 **Nat:** i’m pretty sure you _always_ get into a lot of trouble for stalking

 **Clint:** you _know what i mean,_ Nat

 **Nat:** do I?

 **Steve:** better question

 **Steve:** why am I being attacked

 **Peter:** Mister America, sir

 **Peter:** you simply make it too easy 

**Bucky:** ^

 **Carol:** can i take your number from this 

**Carol:** @Unknown

 **Carol:** _please_

 **Unknown:** _oaky_

 **Peter:** _oaky_

 **Unknown:** заткнуться (shut up)

 **Sam:** _oaky_

 **Unknown:** sidekick

 **Bucky:** _gold_

 **Clint:** hahahahahhahahahaa

 **Sam:** _say that to my face_

 **Unknown:** s i d e k i c k 

**Peter:** s

 **Peter:** i

 **Peter:** d

 **Peter:** e

 **Peter:** k 

**Tony:** You’re not one of my kids and I am very confused.

 **Peter:** i

 **Peter:** c

 **Peter:** k

 **Peter:** boo you ruined it

 **Tony:** Pay attention to class

 **Peter:** _assembly_

 **Tony:** Pay attention to that

 **Peter:** _make me_

 **Clint:** ah the smell of teenage rebellion

 **Peter:** i’m 18 birdman

 **Unknown:** anyway i have to do homework

 **Unknown:** au revoir (goodbye)

 **Tony:** Come back here and tell me who you are.

 **Nat:** since this is so difficult for you

 **Carol:** which Avenger is your favorite?

 **Unknown:** _Captain Danvers, ma’am_

 **Tony:** FUCKING OSBORN HOW

 **Peter:** bye Har

 **Unknown:** bye!

 **Tony:** GET BACK HERE

 **Steve:** oh 

**Steve:** now I see why it was funny

 **Bucky:** how are you so smart but so dumb

 **Clint:** how _am i_

 **Nat:** Clint we know _why_ you’re the way you are

 **Clint:** you’re right

 **Clint:** it’s all the circus’s fault

 **Sam:** _this kid called me a sidekick_

 **Bucky:** get over it

 **Carol:** i love my biggest fan

 **Carol:** Peter you better keep him

 **Peter:** i’m gonna try

 **Tony:** WHY CAN’T I ADD HIM BACK IN

 **Tony:** I MADE this chat WHY CAN’T I ADD HIM BACK IN

 **Peter:** he has to do homework leave him alone

 **Tony:** _Peter Benjamin_

 **Peter:** _Anthony Edward_

  
  
  



	31. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically this chapter is them reassuring each other at different times that they don't need to apologize for having flaws 🤷♀️

**_Panda_ **

**Har:** hi

 **Har:** i need your help

 **Peter:** _i am an ocean away_

 **Peter:** but like

 **Peter:** i guess i could steal a suit?

 **Har:** yes do it

 **Har:** wait no don’t actually do it

 **Har:** science help i need science help

 **Peter:** oh

 **Peter:** o H

 **Peter:** okay

 **Peter:** how can i help

 **Peter:** w a i t 

**Peter:** Har it’s midnight why are you still awake you have class at seven

 **Har:** _i have a test tomorrow and i am dying in confusion_

 **Peter:** oh yikes

 **Peter:** okay

 **Peter:** what’s up

 **Har:** thermodynamics 

**Peter:** i

 **Peter:** that’s a whole branch of physics babe

 **Har:** _and the whole thing is confusing_

 **Peter:** what _exactly_ within thermodynamics is confusing

 **Har:** i’m going to cry

 **Peter:** no don’t cry

 **Peter:** i can help i just

 **Peter:** need to know _what_ to help with

 **Peter:** would this be easier as a call?

 **Har:** Marco’s sleeping

 **Peter:** well it _is_ midnight

 **Peter:** okay so what concepts is the test on

 **Har:** idk if i spelled it right

 **Peter:** send it anyway 

**Peter:** i’m sure i’m smart enough to figure it out

 **Har:** _fuck_

**Har:** Zeroth Law?

 **Har:** is that… _right_?

 **Peter:** oh

 **Peter:** yeah you’re right

 **Peter:** okay do you know the basic

 **Har:** no 

**Peter:** that’s perfectly fine

 **Peter:** so

 **Peter:** if i explain this will you go to bed

 **Har:** no i have to study

 **Peter:** you have to sleep

 **Peter:** trust me before a big test sleep is probably the best thing you can do

 **Har:** it’s not a big test

 **Peter:** you don’t have to pass everything

 **Har:** i do though

 **Peter:** says who?

 **Peter:** Cas?

 **Peter:** or are you still trying to hold yourself to the impossibly high standards of your father

 **Har:** please just _help_ me with this concept 

**Har:** this isn’t about anything except wanting to do good

 **Peter:** failure’s okay 

**Peter:** you know that right?

 **Har:** Peter

 **Peter:** okay

 **Peter:** zeroth law states that if two bodies are in thermal equilibrium with some third body, then they are also in equilibrium with each other

 **Peter** : this establishes temperature as a fundamental and measurable property of matter

 **Peter:** does that… help?

 **Har:** no i’m still woefully confused

 **Peter:** fuck okay

 **Peter:** uhm examples

 **Peter:** when you take a temperature when you’re sick yeah

 **Peter:** you insert the thermometer

 **Har:** why did you say it like that

 **Peter:** _Harry_

 **Har:** carry on

 **Peter:** the heat of your body warms the mercury within the thermometer the longer it’s kept in contact with the human body

 **Peter:** after a moment the mercury achieves thermal equilibrium with the human body 

**Peter:** the temperature of the thermometer now is the same as the temperature of the body

 **Peter:** and now we can measure the readings on the thermometer

 **Peter:** does… that help?

 **Har:** i guess?

 **Har:** why did i take this class i hate this

 **Peter:** are you _sure_ you don’t want me to call

 **Har:** i want you to call i just don’t want to wake Marco

 **Peter:** i’ll be quiet?

 **Har:** okay

 **Peter:** give me like five - Harley’s better at explaining this than i am

 **Har:** oh yay more people to watch me panic

 **Peter:** i’m sure you understand more than you think you do

 **Peter:** and Harley won’t make fun of you for it

 **Har:** yes he will

 **Peter:** he’s not _that_ mean

 **Peter:** we all have our strengths and weakness, Har

 **Peter:** nothing is wrong with asking for help from people that _literally_ study this stuff for fun

 **Peter:** you don’t make fun of me for asking for Spanish help

 **Har:** that’s different

 **Peter:** how

 **Har:** you’re _you_

 **Peter:** thank you for asking for help, Harry

 **Peter:** now please just let me and my annoying brother help you

 **Har:** hsfjsughsd 

**Har:** okay

 **Har:** thank you

 **Peter:** no problem

 **Peter:** literally

 **Peter:** it’s never a problem

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Marco:** [Harry ](https://pin.it/gngXJAW)

**Marco:** this was just meant for Pierre but i thought Gwen would like it too

 **Gwen:** _glasses_

 **Peter:** _oh_

 **Peter:** Peter*

 **Peter:** _o H_

 **Harley:** should i be bothered by how many pictures you have of your best friend

 **Marco:** non, cowboy

 **MJ:** Peter can’t function anymore 

**Ned:** Peter.exe has stopped working

 **Harry:** [Rumple](https://pin.it/3zO2g2Q)

 **Harry:** _Rumple_

 **Gwen:** _my nephew_

 **MJ:** a ginger cat for a ginger ho

 **Harry:** i don’t know what i did to deserve that but

 **Harry:** you’re not _wrong_

 **Ned:** omg 

**Ned:** you have a _cat_

 **Peter:** i have ascended to heaven

 **Harley:** ew

 **Marco:** why can you have a cat but me not a pigeon?

 **Harley:** i’ll get you a pigeon

 **Harry:** i will literally murder you

 **Gwen:** you’re not scary Har

 **Peter:** he hacked the Avengers chat he should be a little scary

 **Harley:** _wait you did it_

 **Harley:**?!

 **Ned:** h o w 

**MJ:** ha

 **Marco:** one day, cher, you are going to be caught

 **Harry:** that’s half the fun

 **Peter:** oh god 

**Peter:** i’m dating a criminal

 **Harry:** Pete

 **Peter:** don’t

 **MJ:** no do it

 **Ned:** I don’t know what you’re doing but do it

 **Harley:** ^

 **Marco:** you are making your secret keeping face

 **Marco:** pourquoi (why)

**Gwen:** _Harry what are you keeping from me_

 **Harry:** @MJ 

**Harry:** [Gwen](https://pin.it/iMVhJMb)

 **MJ:** avoidance tactics 

**MJ:** i see those

 **MJ:** and will let it slide for now

 **Gwen:** Harold!

 **Peter:** oh damn

 **Marco:** you are not more attracted to her than Harry

 **Peter:** _i_

 **Peter:** have you _seen_ him

 **Harry:** _moving on_

 **Harry:** your sister has arrived safe

 **Harley:** oh good

 **Harley:** punch her for me

 **Harry:** she looks like she could destroy me without even trying

 **Harry:** so no

 **Peter:** i thought Cas was her guide?

 **Harry:** she is

 **Harry:** _i_ am the only one with a car 

**Marco:** also the only one that can drive

 **Gwen:** i can drive

 **Harry:** you’re in London

 **Harry:** literally how the hell could help in this situation

 **Gwen:** it is the thought that counts Harold

 **Harry:** is it Gweneth

 **MJ:** is your first name actually Gweneth?

 **Gwen:** unfortunately

 **MJ:** why is that unfortunate?

 **MJ:** it’s a good name

 **Gwen:** suddenly i don’t hate my name

 **Harley:** oh i feel that

 **Peter:** you’ve never hated your name

 **Harley:** i’ve hated my accent

 **Marco:** i love your accent

 **Harley:** _until now_

 **Peter:** that’s more than i needed to know

 **Ned:** i’m like the seventh wheel here

 **Harry:** what are you talking about 

**Harry:** _clearly_ we’re getting married 

**Ned:** yes ofc

 **Ned:** Betty says it’s okay

 **Ned:** Peter?

 **Peter:** what no

 **Peter:** absolutely not

 **Harry:** i don’t need your permission

 **Ned:** y e s

 **Harry:** Ned treats me with _love_ and _respect_

 **Peter:** wtf 

**Peter:** do i treat you like chopped liver

 **Harry:** who _the fuck_ even says that

 **Ned:** this is why he’s marrying me

 **Ned:** because i don’t use weird sayings like that

 **Harry:** he doesn’t compare me to _liver_

 **Peter:** i _was not_

 **Ned:** you can have him on weekends

 **Ned:** Harry are you okay with Betty?

 **Harry:** ofc she’s adorable

 **Ned:** [Betty](https://pin.it/1nQeLTP)

 **Ned:** she is so very happy

 **Ned:** can i add Betty?

 **Gwen:** i love her yes

 **MJ:** i’m shocked you haven’t yet

 **Peter:** _only if you stop stealing my boyfriend_

 **Harry:** he is stealing nothing

 **Ned:** Harry has always been mine

 **Harry:** what he said

 **Peter:** _n o_

 **Harley:** wait Betty’s not in this chat

 **Peter:** Harley she’s literally never spoken

 **Harley:** she hasn’t?

 **Marco:** oh garçon américain (oh American boy) 

**Harley:** i feel dumb now

 **Harry:** it’s okay we’re all a little slow sometimes

 **MJ:** aren’t you at the airport

 **Harry:** no we’re getting dinner

 **Harry:** [Food](https://pin.it/36VgXdz)

 **Betty:** omg that looks delicious!

 **Peter:** BETTY!

 **Harley:** ayyyyy

 **Ned:** how’s art?

 **Marco:** bonjour!

 **Gwen:** _you’re so pretty Betty_

 **MJ:** hey Bet

 **Gwen:** but MJ is prettier

 **Betty:** oh that’s fair

 **Harry:** hola

 **Ned:** tell me about art

 **Betty:** hey babe

 **Ned:** hey babe

 **Peter:** he loves Betty more than you @Harry

 **Harry:** that’s fair

 **Ned:** i have room in my heart for both

 **Betty:** Harry is very pretty

 **Gwen:** he knows

 **Marco:** oui

 **Betty:** _anyway_

 **Betty:** art is fun 

**Betty:** we’re going over how to create concept art 

**Betty:** so it’s a lot of reading a scene from a book and drawing that scene as you see it in your mind

 **Peter:** @Ned what’s Harry’s favorite color

 **Harley:** oh god you’re actually jealous

 **Ned:** y e l l o w 

**Harry:** he be right

 **Harry:** god that phrase is disgusting

 **Harry:** also Betty that sounds really cool

 **Harry:** i used to do that with like audiobooks when i was younger 

**Harry:** it was difficult but fun? It helped with learning English too 

**Betty:** oh i’ll bet

 **Betty:** you do art? 

**Betty:** oh god that sounds so rude 

**Betty:** it just never said anything in the articles and 

**Betty:** someone stop me 

**Ned:** _you do a r t?!_

 **Marco:** Harry _lives_ for art

 **Gwen:**!!! ^

 **Gwen:** he’s actually really good

 **Peter:** ha! I knew that

 **Harley:** they’re _joking_ Peter

 **Ned:** no we’re actually getting married

 **Betty:** i will officiate

 **Peter:** shdsf

 **Peter:** _how are you okay with this_

 **Betty:** because it’s fun to watch you get weirdly jealous over your best friend and boyfriend play flirting

 **MJ:** ^

 **MJ:** it’s all sorts of hilarious

 **Harry:** wiat you’re actually jealous?

 **Harry:** wtai*

 **Harry:** fuck

 **Harry:** w a i t *

 **Peter:** i’m not _jealous_

 **Harley:** you are a terrible liar

 **Ned:** He hacked the Avengers chat, Pete why _wouldn’t_ I be in love with him

**_Panda_ **

**Har:** you’re not actually jealous are you

 **Har:** we’re just messing around

 **Peter:** i know that

 **Peter:** i’m not

 **Har:** Peter

 **Peter:** i’m not

 **Har:** i don’t think you’d tell me if you were

 **Peter:** i’m not jealous

 **Peter:** i just

 **Peter:** ~~how could i ever be good enough for someone like _you_~~ **[Message Deleted]**

 **Har:** you just?

 **Har:** Pete _i_ am a _mess_

 **Peter:** no you’re not

 **Har:** i am

 **Har:** i come from a broken home with fucked up values and ideals and i confess in other languages because if no one hears it then it’s not a danger

 **Har:** and you’re the _only person_ that makes me want to confess where you can _understand_

 **Peter:** you’re not fucked up

 **Har:** i’m broken

 **Har:** and that’s _fine_ isn’t it?

 **Har:** because we’re _all_ a little broken

 **Har:** but idk maybe we can help put each other back together and find pieces of ourselves that fit

 **Har:** you’re the only person to ever say _i love you_ and

 **Har:** and not _expect_ something back

 **Peter:** that’s not true

 **Peter:** what about Cas 

**Peter:** and Gwen and Marco

 **Har:** this isn’t about them this is about you

 **Har:** i wouldn’t still _have them_ if i didn’t have you

 **Peter:** you would

 **Har:** do you really think i would have told my father no if he wasn’t asking me to directly put you in danger

 **Peter:** i think you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for

 **Har:** i was never strong enough to leave before 

**Har:** and i could have

 **Har:** but whatever stop bringing this back to me

 **Har:** i’ve been ~~in love~~ _attracted_ to you since i was fourteen

 **Har:** i didn’t _want_ to stop talking to you once you started texting me even though i should have

 **Har:** i fell in love hard and _fast_ and i can’t regret that

 **Har:** you are the _greatest_ piece of art i have ever been lucky enough to gaze upon

 **Har:** and we’re just _joking_ and i hope you know that and 

**Peter:** Harry

 **Har:** and i hope you know that i wouldn’t even be _friends_ with Ned if it wasn’t for you 

**Har:** and that i would give up anything you asked of me if it was between _taht_ and _you_ and 

**Har:** and that i know that you never _would_

**Har:** because you’re _nice_ and _good_ and you put up with me when it’s one in the morning and i’m freaking out about stupid zeroth law and you call my stupid obession with comic books _endearing_ and _cute_ and you don’t associate me with a last name that i never even wanted

 **Peter:** _Harry_

 **Peter:** i get it i get it 

**Peter:** i just

 **Peter:** you are so much more than what anyone gives you credit for

 **Har:** you would be my hero even if you weren’t trapezing around in spandex every night

 **Peter:** it’s not spandex

 **Har:** it’s kinda spandex

 **Peter:** and i love you

 **Peter:** and fuck Har

 **Peter:** _i want to marry you first_

 **Peter:** before him

 **Peter:** before anyone

 **Peter:** one day

 **Har:** i do not have a future that you are not in 

**Peter:** i’m really stupid for getting jealous of a joke aren’t i

 **Har:** no

 **Har:** i’m really stupid for not telling you sooner

 **Peter:** _no_

 **Peter:** you were joking

 **Peter:** i’m just

 **Peter:** _possessive_

**Har:** i’m okay with being possessed

 **Peter:** you’re not a _thing_ for me to own

 **Peter:** and you’ve been treated like that for your entire life

 **Har:** Peter

 **Har:** _i’m yours_

 **Har:** however you’ll have me and however you want

 **Har:** i am yours

 **Peter:** you’re not a thing to be owned

 **Har:** no 

**Har:** i’m not

 **Har:** but i’d be _okay_ if i was… _borrowed_ by you


	32. Cas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apparently am just writing soft chapters now like... wow.

**_Stark Sibling Chat_ **

**Nebula:** Peter, I need a favor. 

**Harley:** hi Nebs 

**Harley:** how’s France

 **Harley:** oh that’s wonderful

 **Harley:** miss you too

 **Nebula:** Hi Harley, France is French and it _is_ sort of wonderful and I can’t miss you when you send me things that make me want to hit you. 

**Peter:** so mean

 **Peter:** hi Nebula

 **Nebula:** Oh good you’re awake. 

**Nebula:** I have no idea the time zones. 

**Harley:** time is a social construct

 **Nebula:** I need a favor. 

**Peter:** _again_?

 **Harley:** again he asks

 **Harley:** like we ever ask him for anything

 **Peter:** i could end you

 **Nebula:** And I would help… _if_ you do me the favor. 

**Peter:** tempting

 **Harley:** n o 

**Peter:** what’s up?

 **Peter:** do we need Peter or Spidey

 **Nebula:** I need you to do some recon for me. 

**Peter:** ooo okay

 **Harley:** _spy stuff_

 **Harley:** why do you never ask me to do spy stuff

 **Nebula:** Because you would be a horrible spy. 

**Peter:** what is my mission?

 **Harley:** _your mission_

 **Peter:** _should you choose to accept it_

 **Nebula:** Cassandra Madison. 

**Peter:** Cas?

 **Nebula:** Find out as much as you can about her.

 **Peter:** why?

 **Harley:** who’s that?

 **Harley:** Harry’s Cas?

 **Peter:** you know about Cas?

 **Harley:** yeah Marco talks about her sometimes

 **Harley:** she’s like the mom to the whole group

 **Harley:** but mostly Harry

 **Peter:** you’re not wrong

 **Peter:** why do you need to know about Cas?

 **Nebula:** I just do. 

**Peter:** but w h y

 **Nebula:** Do you accept the mission or not?

 **Peter:** i don’t understand the point of the mission

 **Nebula:** Peter. 

**Peter:** Nebula. 

**Nebula:** I invoke the sibling code.

 **Harley:** _oh shit_

 **Peter:** ghdsughdsg

 **Peter:** _Nebs why_

 **Nebula:** Sibling code says no questions and no explanations needed. 

**Harley:** you only get one sibling code a year

 **Peter:** _fuck_

 **Peter:** f i n e 

**Peter:** god i’m not smooth enough for this 

**Peter:** if Harry asks i’m telling him it’s because of you 

**Nebula:** That goes against Section Five of the sibling code. 

**Harley:** _oh shit she’s got you there_

 **Peter:** f u c k 

**Peter:** you owe me

 **Nebula:** Yes I’ll get you a giant souvenir. 

**Nebula:** Do you think your boyfriend will fit in a suitcase? 

**Nebula:** He’s around a lot. And has a very nice car. 

**Peter:** _i would do anything for you_

 **Harley:** wait if i help will you steal me Marco

 **Nebula:** Yes. 

**Harley:** _fuck yes_

 **Harley:** let’s interrogate your boyfriend about his mom

 **Peter:** ugh

 **Peter:** okay

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Harley:** i have questions

 **MJ:** you always have questions

 **Betty:** Happy Saturday!

 **Ned:** good morning

 **Gwen:** afternoon Yanks

 **Marco:** bonjour

 **Peter:** Harley no

 **Harry:** shut up

 **Peter:** morning sunshine

 **Marco:** adorable

 **Harry:** every time my phone vibrates Rumple wakes up 

**Marco:** he is pouting

 **Peter:** Rumple!

 **Gwen:** protip: put your phone on silent

 **Harry:** fuck your protips

 **Betty:** Rumple?

 **Harry:** morning Betty - Rumple is my kitten

 **Ned:** _i love Rumple_

 **MJ:** why did you summon us all, worst Stark

 **Harley:** you’re so mean to me

 **Marco:** you are the best Stark

 **Peter:** i feel betrayed

 **Harry:** awe

 **Peter:** i was waiting for something else 

**Peter:** but that’s it

 **Peter:** you sent nothing else

 **Ned:** savage

 **Betty:** oooo burn

 **MJ:** lmao

 **Gwen:** Peter you’re my second favorite Stark

 **Harley:** ha!

 **Peter:** hgudsg

 **Peter:** _who’s beating me_

 **Gwen:** Harry

 **Harry:** G w e n

 **Harley:** no he’s an Osborn

 **Gwen:** _for now_

 **Gwen:** _i will m a r r y that man one day, Gwen_

 **Harry:** Si tu ne la fermes pas, je dévoilerai tes secrets (if you don’t shut up, I will spill your secrets)

 **Gwen:** bring it _pretty boy_

 **Harry:** one time Gwen was doing it with this girl, right

 **Gwen:** NO STOP

 **Gwen:** I TAKE IT BACK HAVE MERCY

 **MJ:** no keep going

 **Gwen:** _don’t i’m sorry_

 **Peter:** i 

**Peter:** have no idea what is going on _there_ but

 **Harley:** Harry tell me about your mother

 **Harry:** i thought she was dead for 17 years but turns out she just had me and drop kicked me out of her life

 **Marco:** _Harry_

 **Peter:** _babe_

 **Betty:** don’t drop kick babies

 **Ned:** yikes

 **Harley:** sguhdsug

 **Harley:** _not that mom_

 **Harry:**?

 **Peter:** Cas

 **Peter:** he’s asking about Cas

 **Harry:** why

 **Marco:** yes, cowboy, why?

 **Harley:** curiosity

 **Harley:** Marco’s mentioned her and i’m curious

 **Ned:** who’s Cas?

 **MJ:** oh

 **MJ:** she’s cool

 **MJ:** from what Gwen’s said

 **Gwen:** i love Cas

 **Gwen:** but it _is_ weird that you want to know

 **Peter:** sibling code

 **Harry:** what

 **Harley:** Peter

 **Peter:** just

 **Peter:** _sibling code_

 **Harry:** okay????

 **Harley:** tell me everything you know

 **Harry:** no?

 **Peter:** oh well we tried

 **Harley:** you’re too in love to be a good spy

 **Harry:** _why are you spying_

 **Marco:** you are both bad at this

 **MJ:** who here is shocked

 **Gwen:** nay

 **Betty:** not me

 **Ned:** mildly disappointed but not shocked

**_Maman_ **

**Harry:** i think Peter’s sister has a crush on you

 **Cas:** oh?

 **Cas:** What brought this on?

 **Harry:** Peter’s not subtle

 **Cas:** lmao

 **Cas:** Okay.

 **Harry:** do you like her too?

 **Cas:** We talk about boys not girls. 

**Harry:** so yes

 **Cas:** _Harold_.

 **Harry:** lmao you’re not subtle either

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Harry:** yes

 **Peter:**?

 **Harley:** no

 **Ned:** maybe

 **Harry:** tell your sister yes

 **Peter:** yes?

 **Harry:** god sometimes you amaze me

 **Peter:** awe

 **Peter:** you amaze me too

 **MJ:** lmao that wasn’t a compliment

 **Harry:** wow

 **Marco:** Harry

 **Harry:** Marco

 **Gwen:** Gwen

 **Gwen:** are you setting up your Cas?

 **Harry:** if Peter cooperates

 **Peter:** why are you setting up Cas

 **Peter:** with who

 **Betty:** oh wow

 **Betty:** and you’re first in our class

 **Peter:** _i’m so confused_

 **Harry:** jfc 

**Harry:** les hommes sont inutiles (men are useless)

 **MJ:** lmao what are you

 **Harry:** useless

 **Harry:** but pretty

 **Gwen:** ^

 **Betty:** Harry, you said you do art?

 **Harry:** yeah

 **Betty:** may i see some?

 **Ned:** ????? _may i?!_

 **Harley:** i’m confused what’s happening

 **Marco:** Harry is setting up your sister with his Cas

 **Harley:** oh cool

 **Harley:** why

 **Marco:** c’est un trait de famille je vois (it is a family trait i see)

 **Harry:** lmao oui

 **MJ:** good luck you two

 **Harry:** [art](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/682928730983581519/)

 **Harry:** i mean that’s what i’m working on now

 **Betty:** oh wow

 **Ned:** _omg_

 **MJ:** i hate to admit that that’s good

 **Peter:** _dghsgusdgughdsug_

 **Peter:** Har, babe that’s perfect

 **Harry:** no the lines are all kinds of fucked up

 **Harry:** and the colors aren’t blending well

 **Harry:** but it’s whatever

 **Harley:** d u d e

 **Marco:** he got paint on my pants

 **Harry:** ne te mets pas en travers de mon chemin (don’t get in my way)

 **Marco:** vous bloquiez le café (you were blocking the coffee)

 **Harry:** dites "excusez moi" (say “excuse me”)

 **Marco:** J’ai fait! (I did!)

 **Marco:** C’est pas ma faute si t’es sourd (it’s not my fault you’re deaf)

 **Betty:** do they do this a lot

 **Peter:** literally all the time

 **Harley:** we carry on the conversation around them

 **Marco:** rude

 **Ned:** hey do you ever draw Peter

 **Harry:** non

 **Marco:** _menteur_ (you liar)

 **Harry:** _no_

 **Marco:** ton visage est si rouge (your face is so red)

 **Harry:** _no_

 **MJ:** omg

 **MJ:** are they any good?

 **Peter:** _what_

 **Peter:** _you_

 **Harry:** _i nothing_

 **Gwen:**!!!!!!!

 **Gwen:** _MARCO SEND THEM_

 **Harry:** MARCO

 **Marco:** polo

 **Harley:** Pete is blushing so hard right now

 **Marco:** Harry too

 **Harry:** i hate you

 **Marco:** [Marco](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/188799409363897245/)

 **Harley:** _i have been blessed_

 **Marco:** just for you 

**Peter:** karma’s a bitch Harley

 **Harley:** _good_ karma apparently

 **Harley:** being your brother has paid off

 **MJ:** god this is annoying

 **Ned:** i have the chat on silent ngl

 **Betty:** oh same

 **Betty:** you’re all wonderful though

 **Betty:** it just seems like Harley and Peter use it as another platform to argue

 **Peter:** _we do not_

 **MJ:** Betty’s only been here like four days and she knows enough to destroy both of you

 **Gwen:** _marco_

 **Marco:** oui?

 **Gwen:** _look what i found in my message history_

 **Harry:** _you bitch_

 **Gwen:** [Peter sketch](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842651286861/)

 **Harry:** sughsuidghsduihg

 **Peter:** dgisdgsdgdsigdshgdsgdsghdsig

 **Betty:** oh wow

 **Betty:** that’s really good

 **Ned:** _w o w_

 **Harry:** fuck 

**Harry:** Gwen

 **Gwen:** expose me it’s worth it

 **Harry:** that was _private_

 **Gwen:** oh shit

 **Peter:** G w e n

 **Peter:** i 

**Peter:** _i wish i could draw so maybe i could capture something that shows you how much you’re loved_

 **Harley:** wow fuck did you mean to send that here

 **Peter:** yes

 **Gwen:** _i’m melted_

 **Harry:** Peter

 **Peter:** don’t be too upset 

**Peter:** it’s really good

 **Marco:** Harley why don’t you say things to me like that

 **Harley:** well shit guess i gotta be a sap now

 **MJ:** disgusting

 **Betty:** awe

 **Ned:** so cute

 **Ned:** but that _is_ a really good picture

 **Betty:** do you plan on going into art?

 **Peter:** restoration

 **Harry:** restoration

 **Harry:** oh hey

 **MJ:** omg this is sickening Gwen take it back

 **Gwen:** _i’m sorry_

 **Harry:** you’re fine

 **Gwen:** <3

 **Harry:** love you too

 **Betty:** oo restoration

 **Betty:** i want to do video game design

 **Harry:** oh cool

 **Harry:** i know some ins at EA if you need any help

 **Betty:** _omg_

 **Ned:** she just squealed

 **Betty:** i did

 **Harry:** lmao let me know 

**Harry:** i’m sure i can get you in as an intern at least

 **Peter:** Betty’s art is really good too

 **Betty:** you flatter me

 **Marco:** how long have you all known each other?

 **Ned:** Peter and I have known each other longest

 **Peter:** since we were like… four

 **Ned:** yeah before you were a Stark

 **MJ:** i met those losers Freshman year

 **Betty:** Peter and I were in the same after school program in middle school

 **Harley:** uh i’ve known Peter and Ned since 11

 **Harley:** Betty since 13

 **MJ:** what about you

 **Gwen:** well Harry got lost in Prague at 12

 **Gwen:** and me and Grandad basically adopted him then and there

 **Harry:** i miss Grandad

 **Gwen:** he misses you too

 **Harry:** me and Marco have been roommates since we were 10?

 **Marco:** oh oui

 **Marco:** it’s been _long_

 **Peter:** i assumed you two hadn’t met until high school

 **Harry:** no 

**Peter:** when did you start school in France?

 **Marco:** 10

 **Marco:** the Academy takes admission starting 10

 **Harry:** i was in Italy until 9 and then went up to France to finish school at 10

 **Peter:** _wow_

 **Betty:** wild

 **Betty:** MJ and I used to be pen pals

 **MJ:** we _did_

 **MJ:** i moved up from Pennsylvania and Bet and I freaked when we met for the first time

 **Betty:** it was great

 **Ned:** technically Harry and Peter have known each other the longest

 **Betty:**?

 **Peter:** we used to play together as kids for like a month

 **Peter:** when Oscorp tried to employ my dad

 **Betty:** Oscorp tried to employ Tony Stark?

 **Harley:** Richard Parker

 **Peter:** ^

 **Betty:** ooooooooooh

 **Betty:** it’s hilarious how intertwined our lives are isn’t it?

 **Harry:** it’s _something_

 **Marco:** censé être (meant to be)

 **MJ:** sap

 **MJ:** but yeah

**_Maman_ **

**Harry:** you have a date tomorrow

 **Cas:** What?

 **Harry:** well

 **Harry:** _we_ have a date tomorrow

 **Harry:** but i’m not going to be there

 **Cas:** Harry, what?

 **Harry:** you’ve made sure i’m happy

 **Harry:** let me return the favor

 **Cas:** Darling. 

**Cas:** It’s my job to make sure you’re happy.

 **Harry:** no it was your job to teach me art

 **Harry:** and then Russian

 **Harry:** you don’t _have_ to make sure i’m happy

 **Harry:** but you have

 **Harry:** now let me do the same by you

 **Cas:** What do I even wear?

 **Cas:** I haven’t been on a date in so long.

 **Harry:** Gwen says she is available for a video call to talk over outfit possibilities

 **Cas:** You are a godsend, Harry Osborn.

 **Harry:** i try

 **Harry:** go get the girl, maman

 **Cas:** _Oh_.

 **Cas:** I love it when you call me that.

 **Harry:** pick out your outfit, maman 

**_Panda_ **

**Har:** i have an idea

 **Peter:** hey babe

 **Har:** hello

 **Har:** i have an idea

 **Har:** but i need to know if it’s dumb or not

 **Peter:**?

 **Peter:** okay

 **Peter:** shoot

 **Har:** i’m not 18 yet so

 **Har:** i can’t _technically_ do anything until Feb

 **Peter:** okay

 **Har:** i don’t want to be an Osborn

 **Har:** anymore

 **Har:** it doesn’t fit

 **Har:** and i can’t take _your_ name yet

 **Peter:** _that was an option_

 **Har:** not yet it’s not

 **Peter:** okay

 **Har:** stop panicking 

**Har:** we’ve literally been dating a month htere is zero pressure

 **Peter:** i’m not panicking

 **Har:** do you think Madison sounds good?

 **Peter:** _o h_

 **Peter:** would

 **Peter:** would you keep Theopolis?

 **Har:** idk i never met the guy

 **Har:** but like he left me a shit ton of money that my parents can’t touch so

 **Har:** maybe?

 **Peter:** Harold Madison

 **Peter:** it sounds good

 **Har:** Harry Madison

 **Peter:** Harry Madison - _art restorer_

 **Har:** sdifsd

 **Har:** i want to ask her 

**Har:** before i take anything

 **Peter:** i like it

 **Har:** me too

**_IronDad_ **

**Dad:** Pete.

 **Peter:** hiya papa bear

 **Dad:** We might have a slight problem.

 **Peter:** hmm?

 **Peter:** what kind of problem?

 **Dad:** Norman Osborn thinks he has definitive proof that you’re Spider-Man and is demanding a meeting with me. You’re going to be there too. Call your lawyer friend. We might need him. 

**Peter:** well _fuck_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes that cliffhanger. 
> 
> You didn't think that picture from New Years was going away did you?


	33. Meeting

**_Matty boi_ **

**Peter:** help 

**Matt:** Why aren’t you asking your dad for help?

**Peter:** he told me to ask you for help

**Matt:** What kind of help?

**Peter:** potential

**Peter:** legal

**Peter:** help

**Matt:** Did you have to send those all separate?

**Peter:** yes

**Peter:** for  _ emphasis _

**Matt:** You do know that my phone  _ reads _ those out to me don’t you?

**Peter:** ofc i do  _ Matthew _ i’m not an idiot

**Matt:** What do you need Parker?

**Peter:** legal assistance 

**Matt:** Peter legal assistance or Spidey legal assistance?

**Peter:** both?

**Peter:** possibly?

**Peter:** potential identity thing

**Matt:** And how in the world did that happen, Peter?

**Peter:** _ my boyfriend’s father is an asshole _

**Matt:** You have a boyfriend?

**Peter:** yes 

**Peter:** he is adorable and i love him

**Peter:** wanna see? 

**Matt:** Don’t send me a picture, Peter.

**Peter:** [Harry](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466544842650937399/)

**Matt:** _ Peter _ . 

**Matt:** I’m  _ blind _ . 

**Peter:** stop lying to the world

**Peter:** you’re fake blind

**Matt:** I am  _ not _ .

**Peter:** you’re world is r e d 

**Matt:** Peter I can’t  _ see _ that picture.

**Peter:** that’s fine 

**Peter:** Froggy man can

**Matt:** You really think I’m going to show Foggy?

**Peter:** you show Froggy everything

**Matt:** I’d tell you to stop calling him that except he actually  _ likes _ it. 

**Matt:** Peter, is your boyfriend Harry Osborn?

**Peter:** _ how would you know that Matt _

**Peter:** _ if you didn’t look at the picture _

**Matt:** Froggy. 

**Matt:** Foggy. 

**Peter:** hahahahahaahahaha

**Peter:** you  _ did it toooooo _

**Matt:** When do you need me, Peter?

**Peter:** uh

**Peter:** tonight?????

**Matt:** That’s almost no notice at all. 

**Matt:** Fine. We’ll be there.

**Peter:** _ i owe you _

**Matt:** It would be my pleasure to take down Norman Osborn. 

**Matt:** At least tell me his son is treating you well. 

**Peter:** Harry would never hurt me

**Peter:** _ i _ might need to be stopped from hurting Norman

**Matt:** From me or from your father?

**Peter:** Harley’s prepared

**Matt:** Brother then. Is this a whole family event?

**Peter:** what in the Stark family  _ isn’t _

**Matt:** Fair. 

**Peter:** thank you again, Matt

**Peter:** seriously

**Matt:** This is literally why you keep me on retainer, Peter. 

**Peter:** still

**Matt:** I’ll be there at… six?

**Peter:** yeah the meeting’s at seven

**Matt:** Good. 

**_Panda_ **

**Peter:** if i tell you a thing

**Peter:** will you promise to not freak out

**Har:** hello Peter

**Har:** good morning Peter

**Har:** i’m good thanks for asking Peter

**Peter:** _ Harold _

**Har:** _ Peter _

**Har:** what’s up

**Peter:** are you going to freak out?

**Har:** kind of depends on the thing

**Peter:** so

**Peter:** you know that picture 

**Har:** what picture

**Har:** nO

**Har:** _ that _ picture?

**Peter:** the NYE picture

**Har:** merde (shit)

**Har:** fuck

**Peter:** you  _ said  _ you wouldn’t freak out

**Har:** i did  _ not _ say that

**Peter:** you

**Peter:** okay i just checked

**Peter:** you did  _ not _

**Peter:** but 

**Peter:** don’t freak out

**Peter:** i have this handled

**Har:** _ how _

**Har:** how can you have this  _ handled _

**Har:** il n’y a aucun moyen de gérer cela (there is no way to handle this)

**Peter:** Har

**Peter:** babe

**Peter:** remember that chat i had about a lawyer

**Har:** vaguely

**Peter:** well he’s going to be there

**Har:** dad won’t respond well to a lawyer

**Peter:** and he expects  _ my _ dad to respond well to threats?

**Har:** wiat he  _ threatened  _

**Har:** you never said eh threatened

**Har:** _ Peter _

**Peter:** oh god i’m so bad at this

**Har:** _ yes you are _

**Peter:** he didn’t threaten anything  _ bad _

**Peter:** just ya know

**Peter:** leaking the information

**Har:** he would never do that

**Peter:** huh?

**Har:** leaking the picture would hurt him more than it would hurt you

**Har:** or your dad

**Har:** your face isn’t anywhere in it and only  _ mine _ is

**Peter:** he said he has definitive proof that i’m Spider-Man

**Har:** _ what _ definitive proof

**Peter:** i don’t know

**Peter:** i can’t think of anything

**Peter:** he can’t get into your phone right?

**Har:** all our texts are encrypted

**Har:** i’m better at hiding my tracks than that

**Har:** years of experience and shit

**Peter:** _ going back to that later _

**Har:** do we really have to

**Peter:** Matt’s good at what he does

**Peter:** and he’s bringing Foggy

**Peter:** and together they can do literally anything

**Har:** Peter I don’t really care about your ships right now

**Peter:** jfc

**Peter:** they took down Fisk

**Peter:** and got Punisher off

**Har:** i don’t know who either of those people are

**Har:** but yay?

**Peter:** you need to read the news more

**Har:** _ you _ need to come up with a concrete plan on how to shut my father up

**Peter:** any suggestions?

**Har:** uhm

**Har:** i don’t

**Peter:** shit 

**Peter:** you don’t need to know

**Peter:** i can handle this

**Peter:** your dad isn't that scary

**Har:** he’s smarter than you think he is

**Har:** and more clever than anyone gives him credit for

**Peter:** so am i

**Har:** underestimating an Osborn has never done  _ anyone _ any good

**Peter:** underestimating me hasn’t done anyone any good

**Har:** i’m not underestimating you

**Har:** dad will destroy whatever he can

**Har:** he doesn’t care who is hurt in the process

**Peter:** let him try

**Har:** don’t

**Har:** don’t let him  _ try _

**Har:** don’t even  _ challenge that _

**Peter:** maybe i’ll negate all of it by throwing him out the window

**Har:** Peter

**Har:** i love you

**Har:** but you’re not taking this seriously

**Peter:** i  _ am _ taking this seriously

**Peter:** but there’s only so much i can do in this situation

**Peter:** i say no and make the wrong face and it means yes

**Peter:** i say yes and who knows what shit will happen

**Peter:** i’m big enough to know that i have to sit back and let Matt and Foggy figure it out

**Har:** they better be damn good lawyers

**Peter:** they’re the best money can buy

**Har:** no i’ve met the best money can buy

**Har:** they’re all scum

**Peter:** they’re the best money can’t buy

**Har:** ha

**Har:** better

**Har:** tell me what you need from me

**Peter:** i need  _ you _

**Peter:** not to worry too much

**Peter:** and tell me what happened in your life today

**Har:** oh

**Har:** uhm

**Har:** Marco tried to steal another pigeon

**Peter:** why do you insist on stopping him

**Har:** pigeons are gross

**Har:** and terrible

**Har:** diable avec des ailes (devils with wings)

**Peter:** lmao

**Peter:** does he know you call them that

**Har:** ofc he does

**Har:** who do you think i am

**Peter:** i don’t want to keep you up

**Har:** but you also don’t want me to leave

**Har:** it’s okay

**Har:** i get it

**Peter:** you’re going to be so tired tomorrow though

**Har:** that’s a problem for tomorrow

**Har:** and i’ll be fineeee

**Har:** endless tea in the caf

**Peter:** oh god you don’t need more tea

**Har:** t e a 

**Har:** tea is my life

**Peter:** no

**Har:** i’m going to be one giant tea bag

**Peter:** ugh

**Peter:** _europeans_

**Har:** i have it on good authority that you like that i’m european

**Peter:** good authority

**Peter:** psh

**Har:** Ned mentioned something about an accent kink

**Peter:** nO

**Har:** do you like hearing me talk, Stark

**Peter:** yes

**Peter:** _ obviously _

**Har:** yeah but

**Har:** do you  _ like _ it

**Peter:** oh g o d

**Har:** should i call and leave you a voicemail

**Har:** ya know

**Har:** for later

**Peter:** sghdsuigsdg

**Peter:** _ Harry _

**Har:** lmao

**Peter:** so

**Peter:** update on the meeting

**Har:** привет (hello)

**Peter:** i’ll be quick

**Peter:** so you can sleep

**Har:** m good

**Peter:** ofc you are

**Peter:** it’s not 1am or anything

**Har:** npoe 

**Peter:** _ anyway _ Norman Bitchborn showed up  _ promptly _ at 7pm

**Har:** ha

**Har:** bitchborn

**Peter:** it was like he stood outside the door  _ waiting _ for the witching hour

**Har:** he’s not cool enough to be witch

**Peter:** he’s not

**Peter:** you’re right

**Peter:** so it’s 7pm and he’s there and mom, dad,  _ and _ Harley are there 

**Har:** dove si trovava Morgan? (where was Morgan?)

**Peter:** oh Nat and Carol were watching her

**Har:** li amo (i love them)

**Peter:** i know you do, babe

**Peter:** they love you too

**Har:** !!!!!!!!

**Peter:** and so he walks in with my worst enemy

**Har:** bug spray?

**Peter:** jfc

**Peter:** Harley sprayed me once with RAID and said “begone thot” 

**Har:** oh?

**Peter:** yeah he’s the worst

**Har:** remind me to high five him

**Peter:** _ no _

**Peter:** Emily

**Har:** oh

**Har:** okay

**Peter:** if it makes you feel any better

**Peter:** mom refused to call her anything other than miss Lyman

**Peter:** which

**Peter:** wtf is  _ that _ name

**Har:** hell if i know

**Har:** lying name for a liar

**Peter:** so i broke like twenty pens

**Peter:** during the first hour

**Har:** oh

**Har:** it’s 3am now

**Peter:** _ christ _

**Peter:** i’m so bad at time

**Peter:** do you want me to finish tomorrow

**Har:** it  _ is _ tomorrow

**Peter:** yeah but

**Har:** just keep talking

**Peter:** okay

**Peter:** do you want me to call and finish this?

**Peter:** i know how hard typing gets when you’re tired

**Har:** mon chevalier blanc (my white knight)

**Har:** no i’m good

**Har:** i’ll fall asleep fi you clal

**Har:** wow

**Peter:** awe is my voice soothing to you

**Har:** oui

**Peter:** you make me melt

**Har:** fiinhs the story plaese

**Peter:** oh yes ofc

**Peter:** so they’re both there and Matt perks up like a prairie dog

**Peter:** because that’s just a thing he does

**Peter:** and Froggy says so only i can hear

**Peter:** “it’s a faint smell of  _ danger _ ”

**Har:** froggy?

**Har:** you can talk to frogs?

**Har:** that’s… one of your powers?

**Peter:** _i wish_

**Peter:** i mean Foggy

**Har:** oh the beau

**Peter:** and legal partner yes

**Har:** cool

**Peter:** they’ve been dating for years it’s adorable

**Har:** story

**Peter:** right yes

**Peter:** sorry

**Peter:** well Matt just says “i hope you have nothing short of DNA evidence in there” 

**Peter:** and turns out Bitchborn only had pictures

**Peter:** and a looooot of circumstantial evidence

**Peter:** and i don’t really know  _ what _ Matt showed him

**Peter:** but it shut him up quick

**Har:** oh good

**Har:** glad i could help

**Peter:** you?

**Peter:** you asleep babe?

**Har:** no

**Har:** non

**Har:** je lui ai envoyé des dossiers du labo (I sent him files from the off books lab)

**Peter:** you

**Peter:** you  _ what _

**Har:** i just  _ said _

**Peter:** in  _ english _ please 

**Peter:** oh god that sounded mean

**Peter:** you  _ sent him files _

**Peter:** _ there’s an off the books lab _

**Har:** i sent Froggy 

**Har:** Foggy

**Har:** Attorney Nelson 

**Har:** the files

**Peter:** how did you even  _ find _ them

**Har:** they do have a website

**Peter:** it’s  _ ancient _

**Har:** it has an  _ email _

**Peter:** omg

**Peter:** what’s in those files

**Har:** stuff that would be very bad for him if they came out

**Har:** as well as 

**Har:** uh

**Har:** child abuse allegations

**Peter:** Harry

**Har:** it’s just

**Har:** i made that in like 7th grade

**Har:** i think?

**Peter:** you didn’t have to do that for me

**Har:** i would do anything for you

**Peter:** but Har

**Har:** it was my decision

**Har:** and it got him off your back

**Har:** i’m not taking it back

**Peter:** i love you

**Peter:** _so much_

**Har:** i love you too

**Peter:** well uh

**Peter:** it worked

**Peter:** he left

**Har:** good

**Har:** i’m sleep now

**Peter:** okay babe

**Peter:** you sleep now

**_Marco_ **

**Peter:** hey 

**Marco:** bonjour Pierre

**Marco:** Harry is still sleeping

**Marco:** this is not a liaison [affair] is it?

**Peter:** what? 

**Peter:** no offense Marco but you’re not my type

**Marco:** good

**Peter:** i need a favor from you

**Marco:** oh?   
**Marco:** does it involve your brother?

**Peter:** this is weird

**Peter:** but yeah kinda

**Peter:** i need you to  _ not _ tell Harry this okay

**Marco:** oh non

**Marco:** we do not keep secrets

**Peter:** you’ll want to keep this one

**Peter:** trust me

**Marco:** go on

**Peter:** you guys don’t get Feb. break right?

**Marco:** non

**Peter:** well we do

**Marco:** good for you

**Peter:** Harley and I managed to convince dad to go to France

**Marco:** _ oh _

**Peter:** _ and _ it’s a week  _ before _ his birthday

**Peter:** so i’d like it to be a surprise


	34. Germany

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pointless chapter count just goes up

**_Panda_ **

**Har:** Peter

 **Har:** Peterrrrr

 **Peter:** Harry

 **Har:** i’m almost 18

 **Peter:** i know

 **Peter:** almost a big boy

 **Peter:** a whole ass 

**Peter:** big boy

 **Har:** don’t make a birthday joke

 **Peter:** f i v e 

**Har:** _fuck_

 **Har:** i hate you

 **Peter:** no you don’t

 **Har:** no i don’t

 **Peter:** what are you up to babe

 **Har:** we’re on a train

 **Peter:** oh?

 **Har:** yes we’re picking up Gwen

 **Har:** and then staying the night in Germany

 **Peter:** just casually entering other countries

 **Peter:** do you need a passport for that

 **Har:** lmao yes

 **Peter:** yours must be full

 **Har:** i have a lot of stamps

 **Peter:** i have like one

 **Peter** : i’ve actually been to Germany

 **Har:** oh?

 **Peter:** yeah

 **Peter:** remember when the Avengers were having their boy band break up

 **Har:** you mean when they destroyed an airport

 **Peter:** yeah that

 **Peter:** that was my first dad sanctioned mission

 **Peter:** i beat up Captain Underpants

 **Peter:** and got an airplane hanger dropped on me but that’s fine i survived

 **Har:** _Peter_

 **Peter:** i strong

 **Har:** you _spider_

 **Har:** you’ll get _squished_

 **Peter:** s q u i s h y bug

 **Har:** you’re also deliriously tired

 **Har:** are you on patrol

 **Peter:** lmao no

 **Peter:** i have a huge test tomorrow so i was told no patrol

 **Peter:** Johnny took the block for me

 **Har:** you know so many people

 **Har:** who is Johnny

 **Peter:** fire boy

 **Har:** that explains nothing

 **Peter:** _flame on_

 **Har:** firefighter?

 **Peter:** _he’s burned off all his clothes before_

 **Har:** pyro?

 **Peter:** i mean 

**Peter:** literally

 **Har:** how does one _literally_ be a pyro

 **Har:** how does one _not literally_ be a pyro

 **Peter:** you really have no idea who i’m talking about

 **Peter:** how are you so oblivious on superheroes

 **Har:** i’m not oblivious on superheroes

 **Har:** i just don’t care about _real_ heroes

 **Har:** i’m happy with my comics 

**Peter:** how’s the train

 **Har:** it’s the _train_

 **Har:** it’s fine

 **Har:** how’s breaking the rules

 **Peter:** i break no rules

 **Har:** you’re supposed to be asleep

 **Peter:** shhh

 **Peter:** this is more important

 **Har:** talking to me?

 **Har:** i’ll still be here hwen you wake up

 **Peter:** _technically_ you’re not here at all

 **Har:** Peter

 **Peter:** dad’s on a mission

 **Peter:** i can’t sleep if dad’s on a mission

 **Har:** you have that test tomorrow

 **Peter:** yeah i know

 **Peter:** i could balance equations in my sleep though so 

**Har:** do you want a distraction

 **Peter:** yes

 **Peter:** please

 **Har:** do i have to jealous of this Johnny flame guy

 **Peter:** usdfu

 **Peter:** no

 **Peter:** well we _did_ make out like once

 **Peter:** but n o

 **Peter:** you two would get along really well actually and that’s a little concerning

 **Har:** oh cool

 **Har:** i don’t like people

 **Peter:** i know, babe

 **Har:** i have like two friends

 **Peter:** i hate to break it to you, Har

 **Peter:** but you kinda have like _seven_ now

 **Har:** s e v e n

 **Har:** that’s more people than years

 **Peter:** susdhf

 **Peter:** did you just make a joke about your own birthday

 **Har:** yes

 **Har:** i am the only one allowed to in this relationship

 **Peter:** oh god 

**Peter:** i love you

 **Har:** i love you too

 **Peter:** never change

 **Har:** no i’m going to become Gwen’s Grandad

 **Peter:** an old man?!

 **Har:** yes

 **Har:** an old man that makes a bunch of teenagers apple cider with _way too much_ liquor 

**Har:** and just watches them get drunk

 **Peter:** are you drunk right now?

 **Har:** no i’m on a train Peter keep up here

 **Peter:** wow sorry to offend

 **Har:** you should be

 **Har:** anyway

 **Har:** we made it to London

 **Peter:** yay Gwen

 **Har:** Gwen just fell on her face

 **Peter:** boo Gwen

 **Har:** lmao this is gold

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Gwen:** i have a nose bleed and Harry’s only laughing at me instead of helping 

**MJ:** don’t be a bitch, Madison

 **Harry:** usdhfsis

 **Peter:** _Madison_

 **Harry:** _how am i supposed to help_

 **Harry:** also!

 **Harry:** Marco is laughing _louder_ why am only i getting called out here

 **Gwen:** you watched me fall!

 **Harry:** _you were getting on the train!_

 **Gwen:** you just

 **Gwen:** _watched me fall_

 **Harry:** you were trying to avoid an ant!

 **Gwen:** it doesn’t deserve to die today!

 **Harry:** you were _avoiding an ant_ and _tripped over air_

 **Gwen:** so you laugh?!

 **Harry:** you said “i should have let you die you little bitch” like it was the ant that _pushed_ you

 **Peter:** Scott’s there?

 **Harley:** lmao Peter

 **Gwen:** IT DID PUSH ME

 **Harry:** HOW GWEN IT IS LITERALLY AN A N T

 **Peter:** Scott?

 **Peter:** wait was it actually Scott

 **Marco:** who is Scott?

 **Harley:** hi Marco

 **Marco:** bonjour, mon ami

 **Ned:** guys 

**Harley:** also nah Scott’s on a mission with Clint

 **Peter:** god that’s the worst team up

 **Peter:** rip Nat

 **Betty:** IT IS FOUR IN THE MORNING 

**Betty:** WHY ARE YOU ALL TEXTING AT FOUR IN THE MORNING

 **Harley:** oh yikes

 **Ned:** i hate all of you

 **MJ:** i’ve embraced my hatred

 **Marco:** no one puts their phone on silent

 **Peter:** my phone is only perpetually _on_ silent

 **Harley:** ^ same

 **Harry:** sorry Betty!

 **Gwen:** DON’T TRY TO SUCK UP TO HER YOU ASSHOLE

 **Harry:** JFC 

**Harry:** i _gave you a tissue_

 **Gwen:** not good enough

 **Harry:** what do you want me to do, Gwen?

 **Harry:** _fight_ the ant

 **Gwen:** now there’s an idea

 **Harry:** i’m not fighting a fucking ant

 **Marco:** pourquoi pas? (why not?)

 **Harry:** Marco

 **Marco:** Harold

 **Peter:** ants are deceptively strong

 **Gwen:** _i know_

 **Peter:** i’m sorry you got pushed over by an ant, Gwen

 **Gwen:** _thank you_ , Peter

**Betty:** now that it’s a normal time

 **Betty:** sorry for yelling 

**MJ:** don’t apologize to them

 **Peter:** how’s Germany?

 **Harry:** German

 **Peter:** wow your descriptions are amazing

 **Peter:** i can really picture it in my mind’s eye

 **Harley:** you’re grumpy

 **Harley:** i think this is the first time i’ve ever seen you sass your boyfriend

 **Harry:** oh i’m so sorry, Pete let me describe it better okay

 **Peter:**? Okay???

 **Harry:** it’s so cold outside my nose might fall off

 **Harry:** it smells _slightly_ like weed in this cafe

 **Harry:** i don’t speak a _word_ of German so Gwen’s translating for us in a _ridiculous_ accent

 **Harry:** Marco’s chasing after a bird because he wants it to be his friend

 **Harry:** and i just picked the lock on an Oscorp owned property that Norman uses as a vacation home 

**MJ:** wild

 **Ned:** oh 

**Betty:** yes embrace the crime life

 **Harry:** i didn’t choose the crime life

 **Betty:** the crime life chose you

 **Harry:** we’re breaking up Peter

 **Peter:** wait what no

 **Harry:** clearly i need to be dating Betty

 **Peter:** also i usually don’t condone crime

 **Harry:** oh _really_

 **Peter:** d o n o t

 **Peter:** but i support you breaking into Oscorp property

 **Marco:** cet endroit est énorme (this place is huge)

 **Harry:** oui

 **Peter:** you should see his old house

 **Gwen:** my whole house could fit in the bathroom

 **Ned:** meanwhile… we have that Chem test

 **MJ:** fuck

 **Betty:** i’m r e a d y

 **Harley:** Peter didn’t sleep or study

 **Harley:** so somehow he’ll get an A+

 **Peter:** it be like that sometimes

 **MJ:** yes we all hate how smart Peter is

 **Peter:** i don’t hate it

 **Harry:** i don’t hate it

 **Peter:** see

 **Peter:** not everyone

 **Harry:** i want to take it back

 **Marco:** arrête de flirter Il est déjà à toi (stop flirting he’s already yours)

 **Harry:** Je suis désolé, je devrais flirter avec toi à la place? (I’m sorry, should I flirt with you instead?)

 **Marco:** évidemment, Harry (obviously, Harry)

 **Harry:** Marco

 **Harry:** vous êtes un beau morceau de chocolat au lait (you are a beautiful piece of milk chocolate)

 **MJ:** what the actual fuck 

**Marco:** Tu es une magnifique barre de chocolat blanc, Harry (you are a gorgeous piece of white chocolate, Harry)

 **MJ:** no really

 **MJ:** what the fuck

 **Gwen** : we’re going to do crime

 **Peter:** please don’t

 **Gwen:** have any of you heard of Night Monkey

 **Harley:** omg _have we_

 **Ned:** sgsdhguhsug

 **Betty:** AHAHAAH

 **Peter:** wait why are you laughing

 **Betty:** because that was you right?

 **Marco:** ?

 **Harry:** jfc

 **Peter:** _Betty_

 **Ned:** babe no

 **Gwen:** what?

 **Harley:** _omg_

 **MJ:** lmao

 **Marco:** Pierre is Night Monkey?

 **Gwen:** wasn’t Night Monkey just Spider-Man?

 **Betty:** what did i do?

 **Peter:** nO

 **Peter:** no they are entirely different people

 **Harley:** please just stop answering

 **Harry:** Peter’s favorite superhero is Spider-man

 **Harry:** Betty’s just teasing him

 **Gwen:** i long to be Captain America’s fists

 **MJ:** but why

 **Gwen:** to punch people out

 **Peter:** Spider-Man is _not_ my favorite hero

 **Harley:** jfc Peter

 **Marco:** Peter est un super-héros? (Is Peter a superhero?)

 **Harry:** non

 **Harry:** c’est juste un super idiot (he’s just a super idiot)

 **Betty:** did everyone not know?

 **Ned:** oh babe

 **Harley:** why is everyone still talking

 **Gwen:** what didn’t we know?

 **Gwen:** Harry

 **Harry:** no

 **Gwen:** _are you dating a superhero_

 **Harry:** no i’m dating an idiot

 **Peter:** hey

 **Peter:** don’t be mean

 **Harley:** Peter’s not Spider-Man

 **Peter:** i’m not Spider-Man

 **Gwen:** wait that explains so much

 **Harry:** no it doesn’t

 **MJ:** this is hilarious

 **Peter:** you get so much joy from my misery

 **MJ:** just _mountains_ of joy

 **Betty:** yikes i’m sorry

 **Ned:** he’s outed himself so many times before

 **Marco:** so he _is_ Spider-Man?

 **Harley:** this is why group chats are a terrible idea

 **Harry:** i hate all of you

 **Peter:** but

 **Harry:** except you

 **Marco:** excuse me

 **Harry:** no

 **Betty:** that’s fair

 **Peter:** it’s fine he still loves me

 **Peter:** anyway Spider-Man is terrible

 **Peter:** like his webs aren’t even organic

 **Harley:** seriously

 **Harley:** stop talking

 **Gwen:** his webs aren’t organic?

 **Harry:** Peter

 **Harry:** estás agotando (you are exhausting)

 **Peter:** what did i do?!

 **Marco:** Harry

 **Marco:** you are dating your superhero crush!

 **Gwen:** have you always been part spider

 **Gwen:** wait so how does sex work

 **Harry:** GWEN NO

 **Peter:** _why_

 **Gwen:** curiosity

 **Harley:** please stop

 **Betty:** wait so does everyone know now?

 **Ned:** i feel partially responsible for this

 **Peter:** you _are_ responsible for this

 **Ned:** Betty said it first!

 **Harry:** i was so close to getting them to not think about it

 **Harley:** i think you were the only one that tried

 **Harry:** why did i even try

 **Peter:** i tried!

 **MJ:** you should never be responsible for your own identity

 **Peter:** rude

 **MJ:** tell no one 

**Gwen:** or die?

 **MJ:** no

 **MJ:** i’d just have to maim a little

 **Marco:** @Harley

 **Harley:** yes?

 **Marco:** are you a superhero?

 **Harley:** not yet 

**Peter:** dad wants him as a successor 

**Gwen:** Harry is just face down in bed groaning about idiocy

 **MJ:** did you three really go to Germany just to break into an Oscorp residence?

 **Gwen:** yes

 **Harry:** and steal art

 **Gwen:** no Harry

 **Marco:** oui Harry

 **Peter:** please don’t

 **Harley:** do it

 **MJ:** bet

 **Harry:** i have to do it now

 **Gwen:** fuck MJ

 **Harry:** no you

 **Gwen:** gushgiusd

 **MJ:** please do

 **Peter:** _oh god_

 **Betty:** i love being ace

 **Ned:** i love Betty

 **Betty:** i love Ned

**_Maman_ **

**Harry:** how was the airport

 **Cas:** It was as the airport always is.

 **Harry:** soooo

 **Cas:** So?

 **Harry:** did you do it?

 **Cas:** Did I do what?

 **Harry:** did you get the girl?

 **Cas:** Harry

 **Harry:** wellllll

 **Harry:** did you?!

 **Cas:** Yes, Harry I kissed Nebula.

 **Harry:**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Harry:** _finally_

 **Harry:** a week with that tension was terrible

 **Cas:** _What_ tension, Harold?

 **Harry:** none

 **Harry:** there was no tension at all

 **Cas:** Harold. 

**Cas:** What are you implying?

 **Harry:** nothing

 **Harry:** love you

 **Cas:** Yeah you better, kid. 

  
  



	35. Panda-Man

**_ Who Runs the World _ **

**Gwen:** ahasfhs

**MJ:** oh?

**Gwen:** _ one week _

**MJ:** one week!

**Gwen:** i’m going to  _ hug the shit _ out of you

**MJ:** lmao i’m going to  _ kiss _ the shit out of you

**Gwen:** god please do

**Gwen:** to be kissed by a pretty girl is my life goal

**MJ:** just kiss yourself

**Gwen:** _ smooth _

**MJ:** thank you i try

**MJ:** Peter’s been freaking out

**Gwen:** he’s very bad at secrets

**MJ:** i don’t think he’s kept a damn thing secret from Harry since they started talking

**Gwen:** to be fair

**Gwen:** Harry is  _ really _ good at figuring things out with like no evidence

**MJ:** where are you staying in France when you come down

**Gwen:** hotel

**Gwen:** wait no i thought of something better

**Gwen:** _ your bed _

**MJ:** that’s more like it

**Gwen:** you will never get me to leave

**MJ:** why would i ever want you to

**Gwen:** why indeed

**Gwen:** how’s Harley handling the idea of finally meeting Marco?

**MJ:** i’m not really the person to ask on the matters of Harley

**MJ:** but he seems fine

**MJ:** he handles his freak outs better than Peter though

**_Stark Sibling Chat_ **

**Harley:** I’M FREAKING OUT

**Nebula:** What else is new?

**Peter:** please stop screaming

**Harley:** ONE WEEK 

**Harley:** ONE WEEK 

**Peter:** yes i know

**Harley:** THERE IS ONLY 

**Harley:** O N E W E E K

**Nebula:** You two could just text each other.

**Peter:** Harley

**Peter:** i will  _ punch _ you

**Nebula:** I don’t have to be involved in this freak out. 

**Harley:** I’M GOING TO MESS THIS UP

**Peter:** i’m going to mess  _ you _ up

**Harley:** Peter

**Harley:** help meeeee

**Peter:** how

**Peter:** literally how

**Peter:** i’ve told you 1000 times you’ll be fine

**Nebula:** I don’t know why you are freaking out. 

**Harley:** _ not all of us charm frenchmen  _

**Nebula:** I charmed zero Frenchmen. 

**Peter:** you’ve  _ already charmed him _

**Harley:** but what if 

**Peter:** what if what

**Peter:** what if you’re not what he expected?

**Peter:** what if it doesn’t work out?

**Peter:** what if aliens come down from the sky and Marco is their long lost prince and they have to take him away to rule his people 

**Peter:** if you spend your time thinking about what ifs than you’ll never have a chance to enjoy the  _ now _

**Nebula:** Wow. 

**Nebula:** When did  _ you _ become the voice of reason?

**Peter:** hell if i know

**Harley:** yeah but Pete

**Peter:** _ god _ no

**Peter:** no more please

**Peter:** if he doesn’t love you i’ll throw him out of a plane okay

**Harley:** Peter i’m not you

**Peter:** i think that’s half the attraction, Harls

**Harley:** hsdug

**Harley:** i know i’m going to fuck this up

**Peter:** i know that the more you think you’re going to fuck it up the more you’re going to fuck it up

**Nebula:** Seriously, Harley. Stop freaking out and just go with it. 

**Harley:** _ but how _

**Peter:** idk but if you keep texting me freaking out every day i might actually punch you through the floor

**Nebula:** He could do that. 

**Peter:** _i could do that_

**Harley:** yikes

**Harley:** anyway Nebs how’s your girlfriend

**Nebula:** Better than you. 

**Harley:** ouch

**_Panda_ **

**Peter:** [Pandas](https://pin.it/3Fmd0VF)

**Peter:** can i punch my brother

**Har:** that picture and your text have two entirely different energies

**Har:** so

**Har:** _ pandas _

**Har:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Har:** and yeah sure punch him

**Peter:** cool thanks

**Har:** why do you want to punch him

**Peter:** because he chose  _ now _ to have zero confidence

**Har:** i don’t think he’s ever had as much confidence as he pretends to have

**Peter:** ?

**Har:** just

**Har:** from experience

**Har:** i think he takes a lot of cues from you or everyone else

**Har:** i think he’s confident around family and friends but get him in a crowd and it’s all bravado

**Peter:** you’re thinking entirely too hard on this

**Har:** i’m 

**Har:** okay?

**Peter:** no like i agree

**Peter:** but he’s also annoying so

**Peter:** he’s getting a  _ punch _

**Peter:** and then a hug

**Peter:** because i’m not that much of a dick

**Har:** babe

**Har:** idk how to tell you this

**Har:** but i don’t think you were  _ ever _ a dick

**Peter:** i  _ have _ a dick

**Har:** yes Pete you do

**Peter:** don’t laugh at me

**Peter:** i read what you sent wrong

**Har:** well i wasn’t before

**Har:** but i am  _ now _

**Peter:** r u d e 

**Har:** i thought i was the one that couldn’t read

**Peter:** you can  _ read _

**Peter:** you can’t  _ spell _

**Har:** that’s true 

**Peter:** hey i have a question

**Har:** you always have a question

**Peter:** Norman hasn’t tried to contact you has he?

**Peter:** just

**Peter:** sorry i’m a bit 

**Har:** protective?

**Har:** he has

**Peter:** oh

**Peter:** that’s

**Har:** not what you expected

**Peter:** are you psychic or something?

**Har:** no lmao i just know you

**Peter:** is 

**Peter:** is everything

**Har:** it’s fine

**Har:** i… don’t know why i won’t just block him

**Har:** but he hasn’t sent anything  _ damaging _ or anything

**Har:** just texts to check in 

**Peter:** have you answered?

**Har:** no

**Har:** that’s 

**Har:** it’s not his place anymore

**Peter:** it’s  _ not _

**Har:** in  _ happier _ news

**Har:** [Art](https://pin.it/5P0olHL)

**Peter:** _ a r t  _

**Peter:** sorry for asking i just

**Har:** if i didn’t want to answer i wouldn’t have

**Peter:** right

**Har:** Pete

**Har:** it’s  _ fine _

**Har:** Cas is really into your sister

**Har:** btw

**Peter:** i haven’t seen Nebula smile this much in all the years i’ve known her

**Peter:** it’s  _ wonderful _

**Har:** the amount of love you have for your sister is adorable

**Peter:** get this

**Peter:** _ you’re _ adorable

**Har:** shush

**Har:** i’m complimenting you

**Peter:** n o 

**Peter:** also send me moar art i’m dying in bio

**Har:** you’re so weird

**Har:** i thought you loved bio

**Peter:** i  _ do _ love bio

**Peter:** but i already know this bio

**Peter:** so i’m bored out of my mind

**Har:** lmao oaky

**Peter:** oaky

**Har:** fuck

**Har:** no art for you now

**Peter:** sdugihsd 

**Peter:** no

**Peter:** Harryyyyyyy 

**Peter:** i’m sorry

**Har:** too late the damage has already been done

**Peter:** babeeeeee

**Har:** nope

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Harry:** let me seduce you with panda facts

**Peter:** fuck okay

**MJ:** you’re not my type

**Harley:** no

**Ned:** !! yes i want to know

**Betty:** ^^^^

**Gwen:** don’t be mean to my child, MJ

**Harry:** i thought i was your husband

**Peter:** no

**Gwen:** Marco is my husband

**Marco:** oui

**Gwen:** you are our child

**Harry:** what

**Peter:** you can’t be married to either of them

**Harry:** but

**Peter:** no

**Harley:** what is even happening

**MJ:** what is ever happening

**Ned:** ^?

**Betty:** bold of you all to assume any of us know what’s happening at any given time

**Harry:** pandas can climb  _ and _ swim

**Peter:** _ interesting _

**MJ:** why are we doing this

**Ned:** you love us

**MJ:** debatable

**Gwen:** b u t 

**MJ:** i only love Gwen

**Gwen:** !!!!!!!!!!

**Harry:** they can’t stand but they can climb from 7 months old

**Gwen:** wanna see the funniest picture I have of Harry and Marco?

**Harley:** yes

**Marco:** oh?

**Marco:** yes

**Gwen:** [Marco and Harry](https://pin.it/2hlaod1)

**Ned:** Harry is pouting and Marco is just

**Harley:** literal sunshine

**Marco:** that is an accurate description of our friendship

**Harry:** pandas are pink when they’re born 

**Harry:** they look like baby badgers

**Harry:** they have no fur, are pink, and blind

**Harry:** and only get black and white color when they’re three weeks old

**Peter:** _ or _ brown and white

**Peter:** but those are rare

**Harry:** !!!!!!!!!

**MJ:** why

**Gwen:** shut up he loves pandas

**Marco:** he is adorable

**Harry:** there’s only one day a year that female pandas can conceive naturally

**Ned:** oh goodness

**Betty:** _ god i wish _

**Peter:** how long do they spend eating

**Harry:** _fourteen hours a day_

**Harry:** well they can

**Harry:** an adult can eat 12-38 kilos of bamboo a day

**Harley:** that’s a lot of poop

**Harry:** they poop 28 kilos a day

**Harry:** people used to make the undigested bamboo pieces in the poop into picture frames and bookmarks

**MJ:** what the fuck

**Ned:** you know so much about pandas

**Harley:** that is disgusting

**Harley:** i want twenty

**Marco:** he will buy you one 

**Marco:** if you honestly show interest

**Harley:** oh?

**Harley:** lmao i could just buy it myself

**Peter:** Morgan would love it

**Harley:** _ yes _

**Harley:** next birthday present i claim it

**Peter:** _ damn it _

**Harry:** pandas have carnivorous teeth but they mostly eat fruit and bamboo

**Harry:** they’re so slow though so they don’t eat a lot of meat unless it’s like dropped into their laps

**Peter:** wild

**Harry:** pandas are usually born in August

**Betty:** omg Peter

**Peter:** _ for my birthday _

**Betty:** you could  _ cuddle a panda baby _

**Peter:** don’t i would fucking cry Betty

**Harry:** the mating months are March to May and gestation is 3-5 months

**Harry:** usually only two babies are born and only the strongest survives in the wild

**Peter:** omg

**Peter:** can we adopt all the weak panda babies

**Harry:** _ fucking yes _

**Marco:** he will propose marriage now, Pierre

**Peter:** Peter*

**Harry:** PANDAS LIVED 1-2 MILLION YEARS AGO

**Peter:** _ so long _

**Harry:** they have  _ six  _ toes

**Harley:** pandas like to lick copper and iron

**Harry:** !!!!! yes

**Harry:** sometimes when they climb a tree backwards with their hindfeet until they’re in a handstand to mark their scent higher up

**Harry:** that’s all i have right now 

**Harry:** have i successfully seduced you

**Peter:** yes

**Gwen:** if i wasn’t into women

**Marco:** and if he was not your child

**Gwen:** yes that too because incest is  _ wrong _

**MJ:** why did i just read all of this

**Betty:** i  _ cannot _ be seduced but Harry I want nothing more than to give you a panda 

**Ned:** i am seduced

**Harley:** weirdly i can understand why my brother likes you so much

**Peter:** he is  _ mine _

**Harry:** i belong to the pandas now Peter

**Harry:** i am one with the pandas

**Peter:** oh no

**Harley:** radioactive panda bite

**Peter:** panda-man

**Harry:** my superpower is eating and pooping

**Betty:** that sounds like  _ wild _ fun

**Ned:** can i also be Panda-Man

**Harry:** you can be my sidekick

**Harry:** bamboo shoot

**Ned:** sdhgushg y e s 

**Harry:** you avenge my death

**Harry:** when the villain Laziness murders me

**Ned:** that sounds completely fair

**Harry:** after you avenge my death you, Bamboo Shoot, take on the mantle of Panda-Man 

**Harry:** and train my estranged child to become the new Bamboo Shoot

**Ned:** wild

**Ned:** i accept my job and fate and will do my best to honor your mantle

**Harry:** thank you

**MJ:** as fun as this was

**Gwen:** it was a ton of fun

**MJ:** [Peter](https://pin.it/6qZTciz)

**MJ:** Peter won’t stop smiling at his phone

**Peter:** don’t expose me this way

**Marco:** adorable

**_Panda-Man_ **

**Har:** [Cas art ](https://pin.it/4VLq6C4)

**Peter:** i thought i deserved no more art

**Har:** you don’t

**Har:** i’m just a nice boyfriend

**Peter:** no arguments there

**Har:** also

**Har:** remember that painting i said Cas was working on like forever ago

**Peter:** yes

**Peter:** the leaf one right?

**Har:** right

**Har:** well she finished it!

**Har:** [Art](https://pin.it/7JVqLu1)

**Peter:** _ omg _

**Peter:** o m g 

**Peter:** that looks so good!

**Har:** i know!

**Peter:** today is a special day

**Har:** is it?

**Har:** good special?

**Peter:** very good special

**Peter:** happy two months

**Har:** !!!!!!!!!!!

**Har:** omg

**Har:** it’s only been two months?

**Peter:** _ only _

**Har:** i meant

**Har:** it feels like i’ve known you longer

**Har:** and that it’s been so quick too

**Peter:** best two months of my life

**Har:** _ Pete _

**Peter:** seriously

**Peter:** best two months 

**Har:** same here

**Har:** you’ve only made my life better

**Peter:** i love you

**Peter:** i know most people don’t say that as quick as we did 

**Peter:** but

**Har:** no i 

**Har:** i love you too

**Har:** _ god _ i love you too

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Harry:** [Harry and Marco](https://pin.it/1zgGmJy)

**Marco:** gym date!

**Harley:** _ oh hello _

**Peter:** _ oh hi _

**Gwen:** my boys

**MJ:** drop weights on his foot

**Marco:** which one

**MJ:** either 

**Betty:** [Ned](https://pin.it/3YfbXDD)

**Betty:** dinner date!

**Gwen:** time zones are weird 

**Gwen:** are we just doing this picture thing now?

**Gwen:** [Gwen](https://pin.it/4TmHkPD)

**MJ:** [MJ](https://pin.it/2PpTFZ5)

**Gwen:** _ guh _

**MJ:** not so bad yourself, Stacy

**Harry:** ew

**Ned:** the food’s really good btw

**Harry:** oh good, i’m glad

**Harley:** [Harley](https://pin.it/4vJNoMe)

**Marco:** so nice

**Peter:** [Peter](https://pin.it/2cWjzIL)

**Harry:** _ hola _

**Peter:** hola

**Harley:** we’re all just fucking disasters aren’t we

**Betty:** at least we’re pretty


	36. France

**_Panda-Man_ **

**Peter:** hey 

**Har:** it’s so early for you

 **Har:** i thought it was vacation

 **Peter:** it _is_ vacation

 **Har:** then why aren’t you sleeping 

**Har:** _i’d_ be sleeping

 **Peter:** well you’re _not_ a morning person

 **Har:** that’s because mornings are terrible

 **Har:** but you’re also not a morning person

 **Peter:** i don’t hate mornings

 **Har:** that’s because you usually stay up all night

 **Har:** _until_ it’s morning

 **Peter:** you may be right

 **Peter:** _or_ you may be wrong

 **Peter:** we will never know

 **Har:** i’m always right

 **Peter:** no

 **Peter:** mom’s always right

 **Har:** oh i know that feeling

 **Peter:** about my mom always being right?

 **Har:** Cas 

**Har:** “if you don’t tie that down it’s going to blow away”

 **Har:** and then it blew away

 **Peter:** what… what blew away?

 **Har:** a kite 

**Peter:** you were playing with a kite?

 **Har:** yes

 **Har:** do you _not_ play with kites?

 **Peter:** kites are awesome

 **Peter:** i just haven’t used a kite in so long

 **Har:** well shit Pete

 **Har:** go get a kite and fly wiht it

 **Har:** have some fun in Central Park or something

 **Har:** and myabe crash it into Oscorp who cares

 **Peter:** lmao but i’m not anywhere near there

 **Har:** no?

 **Peter:** no

 **Peter:** we went somewhere for vacation

 **Har:** upstate?

 **Peter:** yeah upstate

 **Har:**?

 **Har:** what are you up to Peter?

 **Peter:** listen Har

 **Peter:** it’s so early

 **Peter:** and i am so tired

 **Har:** then take a nap

 **Peter:** in the middle of the street?

 **Har:** sure?

**Peter:** question

 **Har:** oui?

 **Peter:** what does gauche mean

 **Har:** left

 **Har:** why?

 **Peter:** _no reason_

 **Har:** you’re really bad at being sneaky

 **Peter:** don’t be rude Har

 **Peter:** it’s unbecoming

 **Har:** _you’re_ unbecoming

 **Peter:** when are you out of classes?

 **Har:** uh

 **Har:** trois heures et demie 

**Peter:** three…????

 **Har:** thirty

 **Peter:** cool

 **Peter:** okay

 **Har:** what are you hiding Peter

 **Peter:** _nothing_

 **Har:** yeah okay

 **Har:** becuase that’s not suspicious

 **Peter:** i’m not hiding shit

 **Har:** and _that_ sounds defensive

 **Peter:** sgshdu

 **Peter:** i’m just cranky 

**Har:** no way

 **Har:** who would have guessed

 **Peter:** how’s class

 **Har:** not so subtle change in conversation

 **Har:** it’s fine

 **Peter:** yikes 

**Peter:** did i make you mad

 **Har:** no

 **Har:** mathématiques est difficile (math is hard)

 **Har:** i have to go

 **Peter:** oh

 **Peter:** okay

 **Peter:** i’ll see you soon

 **Har:** see?

 **Peter:** yeah we’re still video chatting for dinner right

 **Har:** yeah 

**Peter:** okay

 **Peter:** love you

 **Har:** love you too

Harry’s dorm room was more definitively _him_ than any other room Peter had ever stayed in when the other boy had been in New York. His things were rumpled yet neatly scattered over a desk and bed and shelving unit. The closet he shared with Marco had been left open with silk ties tossed over the full length mirror slung over the door and shoes neatly lined in the bottom. Peter could tell which shirts belonged to Harry if only because of the name brand stitched on the inside collar, as well as the way he had them almost neurotically arranged by color. He had pictures tacked up on the cork board above his bed as though he wanted to fall asleep looking at the faces of people important to him. An open sketchbook was on the window sill, and a _much_ too expensive television with a battered Nintendo Switch hooked up to it was strategically placed between both beds. Harry and Marco had certainly made the place their own and the room had _definitely_ been lived in for almost four years. 

The family had stopped at the hotel with MJ and Marco had been kind enough to coordinate a taxi to bring them from _there_ to the school. _Them_ being Harley and Peter - MJ had chosen to stay behind citing her need for sleep and shoving them forcefully out of the room she shared with Morgan. Peter and Harley would have been hopelessly lost if it weren’t for the terrible free language learning apps that Peter, at least, had been tirelessly consuming for the past month. He wasn’t _confident_ enough to really communicate, and he absolutely butchered any sort of French pronunciation, but at least their taxi driver seemed to appreciate the effort. 

Finding the dorm room had been _another_ problem. Marco’s directions had been shoddy and they had walked into the wrong building around five times before they managed to find the correct one. Peter was sure that, somewhere out there, there was a security guard that thought these two American boys were either horribly lost or _terrible_ criminals. 

“So,” Harley perched himself on the desk chair, looked surprised and then leaned back in the seat. “This chair is _weirdly_ comfortable.” 

“ _Anything_ is more comfortable than a plane.” Peter snarked dryly and his lips twitched at the stuffed panda bear tucked lovingly against the pillow of Harry’s light blue sheets. He had never seen it in person and his fingers twitched over the soft fur with a comfortable weight settling against his heart. 

Harley twirled himself in the chair, grabbed a pen from the mug that had _some_ coy phrase in French on it, and danced it expertly through his fingers. Always moving. Harley was _always_ moving. “How much longer do we have to wait, exactly?” 

Peter frowned and checked his phone - it had auto updated to France’s time zone the moment he clicked it off of airplane mode. They still had a few hours to kill which, really, was a gross miscalculation on Peter’s part. He hadn’t even thought to ask when classes got out until in the taxi and _not_ just outright saying _why_ he was asking was honestly more exhausting than Peter had originally thought it would be. “Uh… two hours.” 

Harley fixed him with a look that told Peter just _how_ unimpressed he was, but said nothing in response. Unlike his brother, Harley hadn’t _had_ to rely on the element of surprise when talking to Marco and they, apparently, had their entire vacation planned. Marco had offered to play tour guide and Peter prayed that Harry would agree to all of the wild and tourist attraction filled days that Marco and his parents had planned for them all. “Think we could hack the switch?” Harley asked even though he _knew_ that Harry had told Peter his password when he was in New York. 

The chances of him having changed it was slim. 

Still, it felt a bit like invading a privacy that he hadn’t exactly been granted to go snooping through Harry and Marco’s things. Marco had a giant pride flag hanging on his half of the room and records in a pile beside their Victrola and his guitar. Harley was eying them as though they were familiar but something he was afraid to touch. In fact, he had relegated himself strictly to what Peter recognized was Harry’s side of the room but he gazed at Marco’s things as though they held a secret he wasn’t sure he was allowed to overhear. Peter would have to be the one to make the move here, and Marco _had_ said that anything out in the open was fair game if they needed entertainment. 

Peter shrugged out of his jacket, hung it up behind the door where an empty Batman hook was stuck up besides a Wonder Woman one, and grabbed the controllers. He tossed Marco’s - it was littered with Mario stickers, an inside joke Harry had said late at night once that was between him, Marco, and Gwen from a Halloween costume - towards Harley and grabbed Harry’s for himself. 

From there it was pretty smooth sailing - Harley shucked off his own jacket after ten minutes of struggling with French instructions and it was pure forgetfulness that had Peter not paying any attention to the time. 

He had just annihilated Harley for what had to be the twentieth time when his ears picked up on noise outside the wooden door. 

To say Harry was anything other than instantly recognizable would be a lie. His mismatched accent sent Peter’s heart crashing against his ribcage, and though he had known Marco much less than he knew Harry he recognized him too.They were complaining about _something_ as they came down the hallway but they were speaking much too fast for Peter to be able to pick up any of the words. They spoke French with the ease of native speakers and Peter flushed, just a bit, at what _that_ did for him. 

“Incoming.” He said with obvious nerves coating his words and nudged Harley’s chair with his foot. He had kicked off his shoes in order to sit more comfortably on top Harry’s bed - and his sheets _were_ as soft as they looked across a video screen - and, now, he felt horribly underdressed for the occasion. Perhaps he should have gone all romantic and appeared in a suit and tie with roses instead of his comfy jeans and classic science pun t-shirt under a flannel that he was pretty sure actually belonged to his father. Harley straightened up, rubbed at the back of his neck in the way that he always did when he was nervous and smirked even if it was wobbly around the edges. 

“You ready for this?” His brother teased but Peter knew he was also asking himself that question. 

Peter nodded, once, both short and too long and the doorknob twisted. 

With bated breath Peter could say the world seemed to work in slow motion in that moment. It was ridiculous, honestly. Peter had been dating Harry for two months now, had kissed his lips and memorized the dips and curves of his figure across a video screen. Still, Peter was woefully unprepared for after _class_ Harry Madison nee Osborn (he hadn’t _asked_ Cas yet but Peter knew it was a name change that was all but confirmed and he _looked_ like a Harry Madison now instead of an Osborn. He was more open, more _happy_ , _lighter_ ever since he had been strong armed into a choice a child should never have to make.). It was the mix of uniform with perfectly coiffed hair and freckles and a laugh on the edge of his face and _glasses_ perched on his nose because he had told Peter just last night that his head had been bothering him. 

Marco was taller than him - then again, he was taller than _all_ of them - and he looked like a happy greyhound puppy with the way he was buzzing once Harry froze a step through the door. It was audible only to Peter the way Harley’s jaw clicked closed and breath wooshed out of his lungs. He would have smirked if he wasn’t busy recommitting every part of a very _real_ and solid Harry to his memory. 

The uniform they were wearing was blue - a deep, dark, navy that only just made Harry’s eyes look lighter. Their tie was a blood red and where Marco wore black shoes and a studded black belt, Harry wore a dark brown. Their school crest was stitched into the blazer but other than that there wasn’t much about the two of them that looked alike. Harry wore a bracelet that Gwen had made for him on his left wrist and Marco wore a long, silver cross above his rumpled dress shirt. Harry had a messenger bag with a slew of pins that rested against his hip and Marco had a bright pink backpack slung over his shoulders. Different. But _damn_ were they both stupidly attractive. 

Peter was going to stand up but when he was halfway he adjusted himself to, instead, catch Harry’s entire body when he flung himself at him. Marco and Harley’s first meeting was a bit more subdued - a bit more precious and soft on the edges and Peter looked away when Marco stood over his brother and tilted his chin up and, instead, took the time to breath in the smell of Harry’s shampoo. His arms were tight around Peter’s shoulders, the wire arms of his glasses were going to leave an indent in Peter’s cheek, and he was rambling in a myriad of languages that Peter only barely recognized. “You fucking idiot.” Harry said with a laugh in English, finally, shoving at Peter’s shoulder so he could look him in the eye. “I thought you were _mad_ at me.” 

He didn’t give Peter much time to answer and, instead, framed his face with his hands and ducked down for a soft kiss. 

Peter wondered if there would ever be a time where he _didn’t_ feel like he didn’t deserve this. Until then, Peter told himself, he would content himself with holding it close as tightly as he could and tilted his head just so that the tips of their noses brushed against each other. Harry tasted like what Peter imagined heaven would taste like and Peter was more than happy to drown if it would be in _him_. 

“Oi!” Peter caught the shoe Marco had chucked at them and Harry broke the kiss just to laugh into his shoulder and settle more comfortably across Peter’s thighs. He weighed next to nothing to Peter’s strength and he fit almost as though Peter’s body had always been meant to curve against his. “Allez-vous jouer pour le public que vous avez (are you going to perform for the audience you have)?” 

Whatever he said had Harry flushing against the skin of Peter’s neck and Marco barking out a laugh. His own brother was blushing redder than Peter had ever seen him. “Are you done molesting my brother?” Peter said wickedly and Harley turned more red than Peter had thought was possible. 

Marco’s own cheeks were a bit pink around the edges now but he smiled broadly at Peter instead of let the words bother him. “It is very nice to meet you, Pierre.” 

“Oh, you too, Mario.” Harry coughed a laugh into Peter’s shoulder and Peter thought, perhaps, this was the happiest that he had ever been. 


	37. France Part Two

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Harry:** hands up if you’re genuinely upset that Ned did _not_ come on this vacation

 **Gwen:** _hands up_

 **Marco:** _levez la main_ (hands up)

 **MJ:** hands up

 **Peter:** _raises fifty hands_

 **Harley:** Pete you only have two

 **Peter:** _raises another fifty_

 **Harley:** i

 **Harley:** okay

 **Harley:** _hands up_

 **Ned:** raises 100 hands to match Peter’s 50

 **Peter:**!!!!!!

 **Peter:** true friendship

 **Betty:** but like

 **Betty:** our vacation to Florida is really nice

 **Gwen:** DISNEY?!

 **Betty:** Disney

 **Ned:** _Disney!!!_

 **Gwen:** _fuck_

 **Gwen:** hands up if you’re upset you’re not on _Ned’s_ vacation

 **MJ:** _hands up_

 **Harry:** hands up

 **Harry:** mostly because i want to meet Betty

 **Betty:** i want to meet you too!

 **Ned:** Disney beats France 

**Harley:** debatable 

**Peter:** i can’t believe i’m going to say this

 **Peter:** but i agree with Harley

 **Harry:** aw 

**Harry:** Disney’s better

 **Peter:** _excuse you_

 **Marco:** Harry

 **Harry:** Marco

 **Marco:** allons à Disney (let’s go to Disney)

 **Harry:** _allonsy_

 **Marco:** what?

 **Peter:** haaa

 **Peter:** nerd

 **Harry:** well _fuck you too_

 **MJ:** god gay flirting is exhausting

 **Gwen:** take it somewhere else 

**Ned:** [Star Wars Land](https://pin.it/1oy52bn)

 **Ned:** _Peter_

 **Ned:** _Star Wars Land_

 **Peter:** _f u c k_

 **Peter:** Disney might be better

 **Harry:** told you

 **Peter:** listen, i was trying to be sweet and shit

 **Peter:** and say that France is better because _you’re_ here

 **Peter:** but shit Harry

 **Harry:** awe so sad

 **Harry:** Disney is better

 **Marco:** désolé, Harley, but i agree

 **Harley:** know what would be best

 **Harry:** crime

 **Peter:** Harry no

 **MJ:** Harry yes

 **Harley:** if it were the _two_ of us in Disney

 **Marco:** ce serait bien (that would be nice)

 **Ned:** is Gwen in France yet?

 **Gwen:** yeah! Just got here like an hour ago

 **Betty:** how was meeting MJ?

 **Gwen:** fine

 **Harry:** fine she says

 **Harry:** fine

 **Harry:** like she didn’t scream and tackle MJ to the ground the moment they met

 **MJ:** don’t be a bitch

 **Harry:** it’s my Brand

 **Harry:** [Ignore this looks nothing like them](https://pin.it/1JwF4U1)

 **Peter:** it was kind of cute

 **Betty:** awe

 **Ned:** my favorite lesbians

 **Peter:** my favorite lesbian is Cas

 **Peter:** cuz i met her today

 **Peter:** and i also met Rumple

 **Harley:** not our sister

 **Harley:** but Cas

 **Peter:** Nebula would agree with me

 **Harry:** Cas _is_ the best 

**Gwen:** oh agreed

 **Gwen:** i pale in lesbian comparison to Cassandra Madison

 **MJ:** she’s pretty hot

 **Gwen:** _i know right_

 **Harry:** stop

 **Ned:** what’s on the agenda for today?

 **Betty:** we’re heading to Universal

 **Ned:** Betty’s little brother is adorable

 **Ned:** and very into Harry Potter

 **Harry:** don’t lie

 **Harry:** you’re going there for you

 **Ned:** mostly for me

 **Ned:** but also for Betty’s little brother

 **Betty:** they’re both cute lil nerds

 **Peter:** babe can we go to Hogwarts

 **Harry:** sorry that’s not on your carefully planned itinerary of exploring Paris

 **Peter:** damn

 **Harry:** i mean we could always ditch

 **Marco:** ne t'avise pas (don’t you dare)

 **Marco:** J’ai travaillé si dur pour ça (I worked so hard for this)

 **MJ:** but Hogwarts

 **Gwen:** oh _we_ can go

 **Gwen:** since you’re ditching France to come with me for the last half of the week anyway

 **MJ:** wait

 **MJ:** _really?!_

 **Gwen:** really

 **Harry:** you’re just casually going to visit three countries MJ

 ******MJ:** yes

 **Harry:** respect

 **Ned:** that’s going to be exhausting for you

 **Betty:** yeah don’t burn out on a week’s vacation

 **MJ:** you all get too concerned

 **Gwen:** Scotland’s like a day’s excursion

 **Gwen:** we’ll be fine

 **Gwen:** omg maybe Grandad will come

 **Harry:** _Grandad?!_

 **MJ:** i would love to meet Grandad

 **Harry:** i wanna see Grandad

 **Peter:** omg you really do pout at your phone

 **Harry:** stop exposing me like this

 **Peter:** _it’s so adorable_

 **Marco:** these two are sickening

 **Harley:** they are

 **Peter:** excuse you

 **Peter:** you haven’t stopped blushing since you _met_

 **Harley:** better than practically sitting in each other’s lap

 **Harry:** Marco and I’s love knows _no bounds_

 **Marco:** on est des âmes sœurs (we are soulmates)

 **Harry:** oui

 **Peter:** should i be offended

 **Harley:** yeah should we

 **MJ:** all the time

 **Ned:** what are your plans for today?

 **Peter:** Harry wants to show me the museum Cas works at 

**Peter:** so i guess we’re doing that

 **Harley:** Marco and I are going on a cheese tour

 **Marco:** we are going to eat only cheese for hours

 **Harley:** it’s going to be magical

 **MJ:** aren’t you lactose intolerant

 **Harley:** hush you

 **Betty:** any family plans?

 **Peter:** dinner and a night tour of the Louvre 

**Gwen:** lmao who’s the tour guide for a night tour

 **Gwen:** how did you even _get_ a night tour

 **Harry:** guilty

 **Gwen:**?

 **Harry:** i mean _Tony_ asked for the night tour

 **Harry:** i’m volunteer tour guide

 **Harry:** and Cas

 **Harry:** she’s so nervous to meet your parents lmao

 **Peter:** oh god

 **Peter:** mom loves her already

 **Harley:** if she wins over mom than she’s won over dad

 **Peter:** dad’s a big sap 

**Peter:** if Cas makes Nebula happy than he doesn’t care at all

The thing about Cassandra Madison was that she was _fiercely_ protective. It wasn’t a trait that a lot of people expected her to have - she was small and slight and most of all _short_ but she was gifted with all of the instincts of a protective mother bear. It had never gotten her in trouble before, while Cas had the instincts she _lacked_ the cub to need to protect. But it had been spelled out to her very quickly that teaching a group of children wasn’t _exactly_ the type of job for her. She connected too quickly, cared too deeply for children that weren’t her own, and was too prepared to jump into the ring to fight even a mildly inactive parent. 

Cas hadn’t _expected_ a child to be in her classes at the art museum and, if they were, they were usually accompanied by an adult - grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, mom or dad. Never alone. She taught an _advanced_ class and not many children were what one would consider _advanced_. 

Harry had caught her off guard in more ways than one. 

She remembered the first class he took with her - he had been much shorter at thirteen than he was at seventeen. His hair had been close cropped to his head, his freckles set on rosy cheeks and his deep red blazer had told her that he went to the private school down the road. He had been quiet and polite and didn’t ask questions but he sketched her an almost _perfect_ rendition of Van Gough’s Starry Night with New York City as the backdrown and Cas had fallen in love at that first drawing. It was incredibly silly to grow so close to a student, let alone a _child_ when Cas knew even at twenty three that it wasn’t the best idea for her. But Harry had always been charismatic and silly and his smile _always_ had the quality in it to make her melt. 

She hated Norman Osborn more than she hated anyone in the world. 

When Harry’s art had been featured in the museum alongside all of the “graduating” students Norman hadn’t even bothered to send a bouquet in congratulations. When Harry had scored top marks in school that same year _Cas_ had been the only adult to show up for him at the awards ceremony. When Harry had walked off the plane from New York with a _bruise_ on his face Cas had almost booked a trip to the American city just to kill the business man. 

So she was protective. And her protective streak ran for _miles_ and _miles_ and stopped and started with Harry Osborn. 

She wasn’t _against_ Peter Stark but she was woefully weary of him. 

Her boy had been hurt too much in his short seventeen years of life. She wasn’t about to simply take his word for Peter not being a danger to his safety or heart. 

Harry was in the bathroom when Cas was first left alone with Peter, the white walls of the museum doing nothing to hide the way Peter’s eyes followed Harry’s every move. It was awfully cute and Nebula had asked Cas to go easy on him. “He’s a puppy,” Nebula had said over the phone that morning. “And he is so completely done for your boy.” 

Your boy. Because Harry _was_ hers even if there was only a ten years difference between them. She would give him anything in the world if he asked and Harry _did_ seem happier with Peter there. Lighter. More animated. More like the boy Cas had seen at thirteen with rosy cheeks and a charming blushing smile. She wanted to ask if Peter had any intention of hurting her boy and what he would do to avoid it. She wanted to be sure that he knew that eighteen and seventeen were both so very young to be saying _forever_ when there was no guarantee. She wanted to demand that when he did leave he did it in a way that wouldn’t leave her boy broken. 

But the words wouldn’t come.

Because Cas was an _artist_ and she was very adept at spotting the truth. And Peter Stark didn’t even try to _hide_ it. She saw it in the way he played with the corner edge of his jacket with a small patch of pink painting the back of his neck when Harry kissed his cheek. She saw it when he knew _nothing_ about what they were looking at but was more than happy to listen to her and Harry talk on and on about artists and landscape and color combinations and lines. 

He was in _love_. 

And not the sort of love that teenagers commonly fell into and not the kind of love that Cas had watched countless people fall into around Harry. He was incredibly likeable even if he didn’t like himself and he could charm _anyone_ in a matter of seconds. He had been a volunteer worker at the museum just the last year as a way to kill time in the afternoons and Cas had watched him paint a narrative about even the most boring painting in a way that had all of the attendees melting a little. 

Peter loved him in a different way. 

He had met the side of Harry that he so rarely let out of the tight box he had been taught to keep it locked inside of. He teased him about superheroes but _insisted_ Harry bring him to his favorite French comic book store. He read articles off of his phone screen for Harry instead of handing them to him to read because he knew that words on a screen were harder to recognize than words on paper. He patiently waited for Harry to get his fill of whatever art they were looking at before moving on with a soft smile and eyes that watched _him_ more than he watched the entirety of France. It was an oddly mature romance, Cas thought, for two so young. 

“Keep it up.” Cas said instead of the threat she had wanted to say. 

Peter blinked at her, his brown eyes big and confused and Harry _had_ said they were a swirl of different shades but she hadn’t noticed until he was looking right at her. “I’m sorry?” He was awfully polite - he had called her ma’am and pulled out her chair for her and he had looked _adorably_ nervous when he had first shown up at her apartment until Harry had plopped all of a furball handful of Rumple into his lap. 

“I was going to threaten you, you know.” Cas cocked her head, felt a piece of hair brush against the tip of her nose and smiled sweetly. 

“Oh… uhm… you still can?” 

She almost laughed. He sounded so unsure and flustered. Cas reached out, weaved her arm through his and squeezed. “I don’t really think that’s necessary.” He let out a long, slow breath and squeezed back just a bit (and he _was_ incredibly muscular, wow, Harry had _not_ been lying at all). 


	38. France Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shit... fair warning.

France in winter had its own sort of charm, Peter found. It wasn’t like New York in that it was quieter, more muffled, with soft, quick, and sharp French coming from every corner. The family met Harry and Marco before school at close to six in the morning for breakfast at a nearby, small cafe every day. The barista, a kind, red headed girl who’s name tag read Mary, served them their lattes and cappuccinos with a glint in her green eyes that spoke of the fact that she was very aware of who they were. Morgan got along best with Marco, although Peter was ninety percent sure she was harboring a crush on Harry, and started a competition with Harley over who could steal the most sugar packets during the breakfast. So far Morgan had bested all of them, but that was only because - Peter suspected - Harry had been helping her. 

Peter would walk Harry to school, kiss him for perhaps a little too long at the gates and then take the longer, more scenic route back to wherever he was meeting with his parents for a day of tourism. The Starks did tourism a very  _ different _ way than the average person. Tony Stark was a no expense spared kind of person - he bought any souvenir Morgan or the boys (or even Pepper) asked for, paid for the best experiences possible, and tipped ridiculously well. It was no shocker, then, that the news media picked up rather quickly on their little family outing. 

It wasn’t  _ Peter _ that was the first one caught by paparazzi but Harley, of all people, who mostly stayed  _ out _ of the public eye by pure talent alone. He must have forgotten, let down his guard, or perhaps been a bit too distracted with Marco to even notice a photographer across the walkway when it was filled with tourists anyway. It wasn’t a particularly damning picture - it was honestly sort of adorable - and the reaction was mostly positive. But from there… well it was a bit of a mess what happened from there. Tony threatened to sue anyone that took a picture of Morgan and sold it without his and Pepper’s consent, they both reached out on social media to demand privacy during a family vacation and, really, most seemed ready to listen. But there was always at least one. There would  _ always _ be at least one. 

They hadn’t even been following Peter which, really, shouldn’t have been shocking. They were scouting the school which had a  _ strict _ no paparazzi rule. Still, they caught Peter - hands wrapped tight in the lapels of Harry’s navy blue blazer - mid-kiss. It would have been a hot picture if it wasn’t taken both without their knowledge and plastered all over TMZ by ten in the morning.  _ Technically _ the paparazzi hadn’t broken any rules - they had taken the picture off school grounds and they hadn’t  _ stated _ that it was Harry in the picture. Peter thought it was ridiculous - how could anyone  _ not _ notice it was Harry when his face had been all over the media his entire seventeen years of life. 

“We knew this was going to happen.” Harry said over dinner, his school clothes long abandoned and the waitress had scored them a table in the back away from windows and partially hidden by shadows. 

“You weren’t even  _ out _ ,” Peter argued because it was true. Harry  _ hadn’t _ been out to the public until then and now it didn’t even matter if it was something he wanted to keep to himself. 

Harry laughed but it wasn’t cruel, it wasn’t at Peter’s worry but, rather, at his insistence at apologizing. “I mean, I wasn’t really  _ in _ .” 

The waitress, a tall woman with long brown hair pulled up into a tight ponytail, handed them their drinks, asked something in rapid French that Peter couldn’t even pretend to understand and laughed at whatever Harry said in response. “What…?” 

“She said your worrying is adorable.” 

“No she didn’t.” 

“No she didn’t.” Harry didn’t elaborate but, instead, smiled over the rim of his non-alcoholic cocktail. 

“Duo really didn’t teach me anything.” 

“Nonsense! Duo taught you how to say apple.” 

“Yes, yes. Pomme.” Peter purposely pronounced it wrong, just to see the little crease on Harry’s nose when he winced. “Are you going to order for me because I literally have no idea what any of this means.” 

“I’m going to order you the most disgusting dish here.” 

“Please don’t.” 

“Order apples.” 

“Har.” 

“Show off those language skills.” 

“ _ What _ language skills? I have none.” 

“You also know how to say that you’re a boy.” 

“Or a woman.” 

“You could totally order a prostitute.” 

Peter choked on his water and it stung as it almost traveled up his nose and Harry, elegant and way too entertained, covered his smiling laugh behind his fist. “ _ Why _ would I do that?” 

“I don’t know, Peter, why would you date the heir to the Oscorp empire?” 

“What?” 

“There’s a Twitter war going on between our fans. Which is hilarious because I don’t do anything to deserve fans.”

* * *

Norman and Emily Osborn came out in support for their son the next day and Harry wrinkled his nose so far in disgust that Peter was worried, for a moment, that it may get stuck on his face. “What smells stinky?” Morgan asked, waving her jam covered hand in his face. 

Marco took his phone back from where Harry had read the article he had pulled up and Peter moved his chair just a bit closer, a leg slinging over one of Harry’s own even though there was literally no reason to sit that way. Harley rolled his eyes at the two of them, but stole a piece of Marco’s croissant when he wasn’t looking. “Do you  _ have _ to go to class today?” Peter spoke it low enough that only Harry could hear it and when he turned his head to look at him their noses brushed. 

“No,” Tony threw a napkin across the table at them. “None of that, no.” 

“Yeah, Pete, keep it PG.” Harley winked, though when Peter rolled his eyes. 

“Harry has to maintain his parfait grade point average.” Marco teased and collected their plates to clear up their garbage and slip the girl working the counter - Mary again - Harry’s card before Tony could try and pay again. 

Harry’s fingers toyed with a loose string on Peter’s jeans and he quirked his lips in an absentminded smile. “My last two periods are study blocks today and tomorrow. I usually spend a few hours with Cas during those.” 

“Le théâtre organise un spectacle gratuit aujourd’hui (The theater is putting on a free showcase today).” Mary said from behind them, reaching over them to place the receipt and a pen in front of Harry. 

Tony sputtered as he signed. “ _ Kid _ .” 

“Vous jouez dans celui-ci (Are you performing in this one?)?” Harry absentmindedly asked and, if Peter noticed him signing a name that was definitely closer to  _ Norman _ than  _ Harry _ he would wisely keep his mouth shut. 

“Oui.” She smiled at the table. “You should come.” She was definitely not from France - New Jersey, Harry would tell him later - and her english was flawless. “I can score you guys some tickets.” 

“Marco’s the vacation planner.” 

Like a puppy, Marco’s head perked up at his name. “We have a free evening today.” 

“You kids go.” Pepper advised. “Make some friends that aren’t your siblings.” 

“Excuse you.” 

“I  _ hate _ Peter.” 

“Excuse  _ you _ .”

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**MJ:** Grandad is cool

**Harry:** fuck isn’t he

**MJ:** aren’t you in school

**Harry:** what’s your point?

**MJ:** i have none

**MJ:** carry on

**Peter:** please don’t get caught

**Harry:** who do you think i am

**Harry:** _ you _

**Peter:** wow

**Harley:** haaaaaaa

**Marco:** quelle est la réponse au numéro cinq (what is the answer to number five)

**Gwen:** b

**Ned:** 32

**Betty:** circle

**Peter:** helium

**Harry:** 7

**Marco:** i hope you all choke

**Harry:** i

**Marco:** sauf toi, magnifique (except you, gorgeous)

**Harry:** merci (thank you)

**Peter:** what attire is needed this this theater trip

**Gwen:** theater?

**Gwen:** Mary Jane?!

**Harry:** oui

**Gwen:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**MJ:** ?

**MJ:** are you doing shoes or weed or something

**Marco:** maybe

**Ned:** oh fun

**Betty:** is that legal in France?

**Harley:** is it legal anywhere for teenagers to get high

**Betty:** Amsterdam

**Gwen:** I love Mary Jane

**Harry:** i’ll trade you Mary Jane for grandad

**Gwen:** n o 

**Gwen:** she’s so sweet though

**Harry:** she is

**Peter:** the waitress?

**Peter:** sghdg

**Peter:** that sounds so mean

**Harry:** you should be ashamed

**Harry:** she’s brought you your breakfast for like four days in a row 

**Peter:** _ god i know _

**Harry:** but yeah that’s her

**Gwen:** we met at a showcase like three years ago

**Gwen:** i want to be her

**Marco:** we love Mary Jane

**MJ:** wait the ginger

**Harry:** _the ginger_

**Gwen:** yeah

**Gwen:** she graduated last year and is doing journalism in college in France 

**MJ:** your idol yeah

**Harry:** we all aspire to be Mary Jane

**Peter:** i don’t

**Harry:** you will

**Marco:** qu’avez-vous eu pour le numéro 11 (what did you get for number 11)?

**MJ:** why can’t you solve your own problems, Marco

**Gwen:** lmao aren’t you two taking a test

**Marco:** Harry finished already

**Harry:** i did

**Harry:** uh

**Harry:** 4567 

**Peter:** what are you doing 

**Harry:** pretending i care more about this test than i actually do

**Harley:** but actually

**Harry:** texting all of you?

**Harry:** hahahahahahahahaha

**Gwen:** ?

**_Unknown_ **

**Unknown:** Those pictures are breaking a bunch of different laws. I’ll have my lawyers look into it. 

**Harry:** please do me a favor here

**Harry:** and  _ fuck off _

**Unknown:** Harold. 

**Harry:** b l o c k e d 


	39. France Part Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost done 😭

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Ned:** i don’t want to go homeeee

**Gwen:** bold of you to assume i’m letting MJ go home

**MJ:** bold to assume i  _ want _ to

**MJ:** London’s pretty cool 

**MJ:** we’ve gone ghost hunting

**Peter:** _ we found a castle! _

**Harry:** we did

**Betty:** only three more months of school when we go back

**Harley:** _ three months?! _

**Marco:** deux et demi (two and a half)

**Harry:** i turn 18 next week

**Harry:** _ what _

**MJ:** you’re still going to be four

**Peter:** f i v e 

**MJ:** bitch a leap year is every four years

**MJ:** he’s four 

**Peter:** _ well shit _

**Gwen:** AHAHAHAHAAH

**Harry:** god why

**Gwen:** _ Grandad wants to visit for your birthday _

**Harry:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Harry:** y e s 

**Gwen:** i knew it

**Peter:** i am technically still dating a child

**Harry:** fuck you Stark

**Peter:** no you  _ baby _

**Harry:** i will  _ punch you _

**Marco:** he will

**Gwen:** Harry is boring and doesn’t like age jokes

**Peter:** _ because he baby _

**Peter:** ow!

**Harley:** hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa

**Harley:** he actually punched him

**Peter:** i’ve had more painful bee stings

**MJ:** you keep antagonizing him

**MJ:** idk why

**MJ:** but if he breaks up with you i’m going to laugh

**Ned:** _ destroy him _

**Peter:** _ Ned _

**Ned:** do it do it do it 

**Betty:** wait how is Harry only four?

**Harry:** i am  _ seventeen _

**Peter:** he leap year baby

**Betty:** ooooooh

**Betty:** when do you actually celebrate?

**Betty:** if you’re born on the leap year

**Marco:** Mars 1 (March)

**Ned:** _ on a planet?! _

**Harry:** god i wish

**Harley:** l a m e 

**Peter:** your birthday is in March

**Harley:** _ l a m e  _

**Marco:** you are almost 19

**Harley:** god i’m  _ old _

**Harley:** and graduating with  _ babies _

**Peter:** _ Harley got a full ride to MIT _

**Harley:** _ fuck you stop spilling my secrets _

**Marco:** !

**Marco:** amore that is  _ magnifique _

**Gwen:** !!!!!!!

**Gwen:** that’s so cool Harley

**MJ:** it’s pretty chill ngl

**Harley:** Peter got accepted into Boston University

**Ned:** _ me too _ !

**Ned:** we’re gonna be  _ roomies _

**Peter:** ^^^^^

**MJ:** lame

**Gwen:** i’m going to London Contemporary Dance School

**MJ:** i got into the University of Sheffield

**Gwen:** _ omg that’s right near Grandad _

**MJ:** i know

**Marco:** Berklee College of Music 

**Harley:** that’s in Boston

**Marco:** oui

**Harley:** MIT is in Boston

**Harley:** well Cambridge

**Marco:** !!

**Gwen:** since Harry’s not saying it

**Gwen:** i will for him

**Betty:** wait Harley

**Harley:** yes?

**Betty:** i’m going to UMASS Lowell

**Harley:** !!

**Harley:** Massachusetts partyyy

**Harry:** wiat Gwne no

**Harry:** _ fukc _

**Peter:** ahahahaha

**Peter:** i turned off his autocorrect

**Peter:** which was  _ hard _ his phone is in Russian

**Harry:** _ fuck you Stark _

**Peter:** _ okay _

**Harley:** ew

**Marco:** make sure Cas is not home for that

**Peter:** _ Marco! _

**Marco:** nooo do not yell out  _ my _ name during

**Harry:** jfc

**Gwen:** **_Harry got into Harvard_ **

**Peter:** I KNOW I SCREAMED AT HIM OVER VIDEO CALL

**MJ:** say what now

**Harley:** wow dude

**Ned:** omg!

**Betty:** that’s huge!

**Marco:** _ pourquoi tu ne m'as pas dit  _ (why didn’t you tell me)

**Harry:** it’s not that big a deal

**Peter:** Har

**Gwen:** baby

**Peter:** it’s  _ Harvard _

**Harry:** Je ne sais même pas si je veux y aller (I don’t even know if I want to go)

**Marco:** Harvard a un programme d’art (Harvard has an art program)

**Harry:** mais la France a un apprentissage (but France has an apprenticeship)

**Marco:** Ils ne te le garderaient pas (they wouldn’t hold that for you?)?

**Harry:** there’s  _ also _ the London Art School

**Harry:** and i got accepted into Harvard School of  _ Business _ and i don’t

**Peter:** babe

**Peter:** you don’t  _ have to _

**Harry:** this  _ year _ has thrown a wrench into my ten year plan

**Gwen:** has it?

**Gwen:** or has it just made it more  _ for you _

**Harry:** _ anyway _

**Harry:** we found a castle

**Peter:** we did find a castle

**Peter:** i love the castle

**MJ:** how many pictures of Harry have you taken

**Harley:** you don’t want to know

**Ned:** because Peter  _ needs  _ more ammo

**Ned:** for the

**Peter:** no

**Ned:** s p a n k 

**MJ:** lmao

**Ned:** b a n k 

**Peter:** Ned why

**Peter:** what have i ever done to you

**Ned:** months of pining Peter

**Ned:** _ months _

**Gwen:** _ years _ on our end

**Harry:** ughhhh

**Gwen:** baby

**Gwen:** Harvard’s been your goal for as long as i’ve known you

**Harry:** let it go

**Marco:** oui, Cas has been bothering about it too

**Peter:** we’re talking about castles right now, Gwen

**Peter:** don’t try to change the subject

**Peter:** why don’t we have castles at home

**MJ:** we burnt down everything that could have been

**MJ:** well

**MJ:** the white man dad anyway

**Peter:** fair

**Ned:** that’s  _ right _

**Betty:** also we’re a  _ young _ nation 

**Betty:** you know

**Betty:** compared to Europe

**Peter:** i’m going to hide in this castle forever

**Harry:** there won’t be food Pete

**Peter:** nonsense

**Peter:** there is a  _ cafeteria _

**Harry:** and gift shop

**Peter:** _ w h a t _

**Peter:** THEY HAVE FUCKING TEDDY BEARS

**Harley:** Peter and Morgan are competing on who can get the most teddy bears to bring home

**MJ:** who’s winning

**Peter:** Morgan 

**Peter:** it’s not  _ fair _

**Peter:** dad keeps buying them for her

**Harley:** mom literally bought you a stuffed monkey in a beret

**Harley:** you weren’t even  _ with us _

**Peter:** that’s because mom is the best

**Peter:** and i’m donating them to the children’s hospital when we get home 

**Harry:** literal angel

**Peter:** no you

**Marco:** stop flirting

**Peter:** listen

**Peter:** if i want to feel up my boyfriend in a castle

**Peter:** i’m gonna

**Harry:** please  _ don’t _

**Ned:** Harry’s just shattering the illusion

**Betty:** think of the  _ children _

**MJ:** yeah give them a show

**Gwen:** teach ‘em sex ed

**Peter:** _ Harry broke into the control room  _

**Harley:** yes crime

**Marco:** he is so cute when he does crime

**Gwen:** CRIME 

**Gwen:** i’m missing crime

**MJ:** awe honey

**MJ:** we can do crime

**Harry:** Gwen  _ will _ get caught

**Peter:** _ we got caught by security _

**Peter:** but like

**Peter:** _ idk how but Harry just started talking to them and now they’re having lunch with us???? _

**Ned:** iconic

**Betty:** is Harry really a criminal mastermind

**Gwen:** yes

**Marco:** it would not be surprising

**Harry:** no really 

**Harry:** it’s Peter

**Peter:** no

**Betty:** Peter’s a criminal?

**Peter:** don’t encourage this

**Harry:** vigilantism is illegal

**Betty:** omg

**Ned:** _ Peter _

**MJ:** lmao how much does that bother you

**Betty:** _ Peter is a criminal _

**Peter:** i am  _ not _ a criminal

**Harry:** of course you’re not

**Harry:** il est (he is)

**Peter:** _ Harold Theopolis Madison _

**Peter:** i  _ have  _ google translate

**Harry:** _ fuck you and fuck google translate _

**Peter:** these guards are actually pretty cool

**Harry:** J’ai payé les gardes pour nous laisser entrer dans la salle de contrôle et prétendre ensuite d’essayer de nous arrêter (I paid the guards to let us into the control room and then pretend to try and arrest us)

**Marco:** mon Dieu (my God)

**MJ:** iconic 

**Peter:** can i spam

**MJ:** no

**Gwen:** yes

**Ned:** sure

**Betty:** i guess?

**Harley:** please don’t

**Marco:** do it

**Harry:** ugh

**Peter:** ugh?

**Harry:** u g h 

**Peter:** [Harry and Marco](https://pin.it/DNs9a3s)

**Peter:** [Harry](https://pin.it/3UzSmaL)

**Peter:** [Harry and a cat cuz why not](https://pin.it/3jGx193)

**Peter:** [Video games](https://pin.it/iqmq2np)

**Peter:** [Gwen and MJ because sure](https://pin.it/5vNyTZv)

**Peter:** [Finding pictures that look like two specific people are hard](https://pin.it/45Dr4AX)

**Peter:** [Marco and Harley](https://pin.it/3XkGDUB)

**Peter:** [Harry](https://pin.it/6D0wnWS)

**Peter:** [The boys ](https://pin.it/21RqcGn)

**Peter:** [Harry](https://pin.it/6uub7ar)

**Peter:** also i want to be Mary Jane

**Gwen:** god don’t we all

**Harry:** if we weren’t dating i’m pretty sure Pete would be married to her

**Gwen:** you two  _ are _ practically the same person

**Peter:** you’re both stupid attractive

**Marco:** _ he is blushing so red _

**Betty:** you took so many pictures

**Ned:** of your boyfriend

**Harley:** mom says you can stay the night if you promise to pick up coffee on the way to the airport

**Peter:** !!!!!

**Peter:** yes

**Marco:** are you at the dorm

**Harry:** no i’m staying with Cas

**Marco:** lock the door

**Harry:** _ Marco _

**Marco:** Envois-moi les détails par sms (text me details)

**Harry:** _ non _

**Marco:** s'il vous plaît (please)

**Harry:** peut-être (maybe)

“Marco’s just joking.” Harry assured him from his spot on the counter as Peter searched in the refrigerator for a snack. Cas was still at the studio until around eight that night and the two of them had the two bedroom apartment to themselves. Currently, instead of his rapidly cooling mug of tea, Harry was cuddling his little orange kitten to his chest. Rumple, with his little white paws, was playing with his fingers with a purr low in his belly and Peter, honestly, thought it was the cutest thing he had ever seen. 

Cas had art  _ everywhere _ around her apartment. Finished or unfinished, it lined the walls and sat in stacks against the couch. The living room was basically a small studio, two easels lined up in front of the windows and paints in small bins under their legs. Peter still felt  _ weird _ in her apartment - still felt like he was invading a space he wasn’t fully welcome in, but the small touches of Harry throughout told him that he was. Cas kept his grades up on the refrigerator with a bent clock magnet, he left his books on the coffee table, and she had a framed picture of the two of them when Harry must have been close to fourteen on the mantle. 

Harry had hopped up on the counter the moment they got back from the castle, his shoes kicked off at the door and his jacket slung off to rest over the back of a kitchen chair. His leg radiated warmth and Peter was torn between wanting to  _ eat _ and wanting to suck up that warmth for himself. It was close to twenty outside and the wind chill even worse and, pretty as it had been covered in snow and overlooking the city, the chill had settled into his bones within an hour. His jacket  _ was _ ridiculously warm, and his father had crafted the same sort of technology within it to regulate his temperature that the suit had, but the fact remained that Peter got cold ridiculously easily. 

And hungry even easier. 

Still, Peter and Harry hadn’t gotten  _ much _ alone time during this vacation. The joy of a family vacation meant that Peter had to spend most of the day with them. Typically it wasn’t much of a problem - Peter  _ loved _ his family and he adored spending time with them. And Harry meshed well with them - he never complained when Morgan asked for his attention, he happily held conversations with  _ both _ of Peter’s parents, and him and Harley had the same terrible sense of humor. 

Peter glanced at him from above the refrigerator, watched the way Harry’s eyes crinkled when Rumple nipped at his fingertip with his kitten teeth and flushed. He shut the door gently, ran a finger gently down the soft ginger fur of the kitten in Harry’s hands and closed the distance between their lips with barely a thought. Rumple squirmed and mewed softly when Peter moved closer, hands trailing slowly up the outside of Harry’s thighs before traveling up to the small of his back. He pulled him in close, Rumple escaped from the sliver of space between them and hopped down from the counter with a barely there pattering of his paws. Peter supposed he should feel guilty, it  _ was  _ a small cat that he stole attention from, but with Harry’s teeth gently tugging on his bottom lip he couldn’t really find the words to apologize. 

It was probably something they shouldn’t be doing - and  _ definitely _ not something they should be doing on Cas’s counter (especially because Peter wanted to  _ keep _ the good impression he had somehow made on her and if Cas walked in on him sporting an erection and with his hand on her son’s ass he was pretty sure he would be  _ losing _ that image). Still, Harry was  _ magnificent _ at kissing and when Peter gave him a moment to catch his breath and, instead, kissed his way down his neck (because Harry was  _ intoxicating _ and he was all of Peter’s senses) Harry slipped into little breathless swears in languages Peter didn’t understand. 

“Peter,” Harry’s voice curled around his name, trailed over the last syllable and gasped on a repeat. 

When Peter looked up, finally, it was to blown wide blue eyes, and kiss red lips. “We should probably do this not in the kitchen?”

Harry smiled and, when Peter looked at him, he was struck by just how  _ gorgeous _ he was. Just how  _ lucky _ Peter was to have him. “Probably not.” 

  
  



	40. Graduation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm s o f t

**_Three months later_ **

Graduation came in a blur of video chats, text messages, senior nights, family dinners, and late night delirious giggles. 

Tony didn’t know when his kids had made it to high school seniors. 

It was bittersweet, sitting in the Midtown auditorium in a sea of parents with Morgan on Pepper’s lap and Nebula on his left. His two boys sat almost together, first and third respectively with their friend Betty Brant between them. The three of them had their heads turned to look at the other two in the next row, their graduation caps brushing against each other. If he looked hard enough the two of them were smaller - Peter seven and Harley eleven and smiling at him for the first time. If he shut his eyes it was to their voice calling him “dad” for the first time. 

Tony didn’t know how he would survive without them in the house all the time. With just Morgan it was bound to be almost too quiet, even if the other Avengers would be over enough to keep the walls echoing with noise. Sam, Steve and Bucky were looking into adoption, apparently - they had asked Tony extensively for advice and pointers on the process when they found little Eli Bradley huddled in a HYDRA bunker. Wanda was pregnant, Carol and Nat were talking about training the  _ next generation _ and… well it wouldn’t be  _ quiet _ but it certainly wouldn’t be the same type of noise without the boys under his roof. 

To put it simply, Tony would  _ miss _ those two even if they  _ were _ pains in his ass. 

He had made the mistake of blinking and suddenly the years that seemed like so many were gone. Just a memory. 

Nebula didn’t say anything but when Peter got up to the stage to give his valedictorian speech she silently weaved her fingers through his and pulled his hand into her lap. She pet the back of his skin with soft fingers, traced the lines of his wrinkles and Tony thought that, perhaps, the comfort was for her more than it was for him. If he thought about it he remembered bringing Nebula home, broken and fragile and  _ hating  _ so much. She didn’t like anyone but she had tentatively trusted him more than others. It had been those boys that had broken through to her first - those boys late at night with so much love to give teaching her to make popcorn and being so  _ innocent _ that Nebula couldn’t help but fall into their trap. 

Family, Tony thought. 

Broken and bruised and mismatched but…  _ family _ . 

“When I was seven,” Peter said from the podium, his voice stronger than Tony thought it would be for someone that hated public speaking. He had been practicing, was wearing Richard Parker’s watch and Tony’s lucky tie and a confidence Tony couldn’t claim responsibility for. “The only thing I knew was that the world was cruel.’

‘There was something my father, Richard, used to tell me when I was really little. He would sit me down on the edge of my Star Wars bed and tell me that if I had a bad day that what I should aim to do is make everyone  _ else’s _ day better. A smile can go a long way, a small note between classes, or a Lego date with a friend.” Tony smiled when Peter did at Ned who flushed and tucked his chin to his chest for just a moment before looking back up. “As a class, as a  _ people _ , we have faced unspeakable tragedy. At  _ seven _ I lost one family in a plane crash that killed five hundred people. But I also gained a second family.” 

Tony breathed deep and full and pretended there weren’t tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. Pepper didn’t bother hiding her own in Morgan’s hair. “We sort of trickled in. It was just me and my dad for a while there. And then mom and an older brother that has  _ always _ been annoying.” 

“Hey!” Harley yelped from the seats and a ripple of laughter went through the student body. 

“I got an older sister the same year I got a younger one and so many aunts and uncles that I can’t even count them all. The resounding theme from all of them has been the same. ‘Don’t give up. Don’t forget who you are and  _ fight _ for something if it’s worth it.’” Peter took a deep steadying breath, looked out at the sea of students in front of him. “Someone very important to me told me something just this year that I haven’t been able to forget. He said that people always assume things. That you can be stereotyped and forced to fit into a box when people weren’t  _ made _ to be fit into boxes. That you can be moderately attractive, get good grades, and have a last name like mine and any defect of character is simply considered a character  _ quirk _ .’

‘I guess what my advice to all of you is to break out of those boxes you’ve been fit into. Break down those walls and be so fundamentally  _ you _ that you look in the mirror every day and can actually say that you’re  _ proud _ of who you’ve become. Know that even your heroes struggle with those boxes and know that the world is so much more  _ beautiful _ once you tear down those cardboard walls that lock you in.’ 

‘You can be Superman or you can be the ice cream man. Just remember that the only person you have to make happy is  _ you _ .’

Congratulations, Midtown class of 2020. We  _ finally _ made it.” 

The auditorium erupted into hollering cheers and Tony might have been crying but Nebula stole his handkerchief to dab at her eyes quick enough that, without the trained eye, he wouldn’t have noticed. He wondered if either of his boys were clever enough to know what he had set up to meet them at the end of the stage after they got their diplomas. 

France got out of school two weeks earlier than Midtown and Cassandra Madison in all of her short, motherly glory was sitting happily beside Nebula, obediently taking pictures that neither of the parents had enough stability to take. Tony had been in France for the graduation of  _ her _ child too. Had nearly cried himself when the Headmaster, with a beaming smile that spoke of a mischievous but  _ proud _ nature, called out the name Harold Theopolis  _ Madison _ to get his diploma. He had watched as Nebula had caught Cassandra from behind as she openly started crying - it had been a surprise. An expertly given statement and disavowing of the Osborn name in front of  _ hundreds _ of witnesses. 

Tony hadn’t known his son’s boyfriend for long but… he had  _ never _ been more proud. 

Until  _ then _ that was. 

Until watching two boys that started so broken walk across a stage and receive a piece of paper that Harley at least never thought he was going to receive. Peter, oblivious perhaps in the commotion, stood at the foot of the stairs to give Betty a hug when she walked across after him and caught Harley when he all but jumped off the steps in a hug. They said something to each other that only they could hear, lips moving close to each other’s ears and the ceremony went on around them but Tony only had eyes for those two. Only had eyes for when MJ poked Peter in the side and pointed behind him. 

He couldn’t hear Peter shout but he  _ saw _ it and he saw the way Ned grabbed his diploma before he could throw it to the side. He all but sprinted the three feet between them, was caught with a small stumble backwards when he  _ launched _ himself at his slightly shorter boyfriend. Marco made a much less dramatic entrance, hugged Harley from behind. 

“We did good.” Pepper muttered into his ear and rested her head on his shoulder, her own eyes not straying from their kids. 

“Harry’s here!” Morgan said loudly and made to run down herself. Pepper stopped her with an arm around her waist and she settled with a pout and a wrinkle of her nose. “They’re  _ kissing _ .” 

And they  _ were _ but they were smart enough to keep it appropriate for the crowd they were in. 

It was at the afterparty that Tony noticed how the two French boys had weaved their way into his found family. He thought of his father and his mother - Howard and Maria and how  _ small _ their circle of true friends had been. He remembered Jarvis, the butler, not the program, putting a bandaid on his skinned knee and taking him out with Aunt Peggy and Uncle Daniel to play outside on the California sea side. They would have fit in here. They would have  _ loved _ it here. “You’re thinking too hard.” Peter nudged his shoulder, slid in perfectly under his arm and rested his head against Tony’s shoulder. He was, perhaps, lightly buzzed but Tony was pretending he didn’t notice Thor slipping him a flask earlier. Rhodey was talking with Harley and Marco over by the television, a lopsided party hat on his head. Carol and Nat had stolen Peter’s boyfriend the moment he walked in the door - Carol more so - and Cassandra had  _ shockingly _ hit it off amazingly with Sam. Wanda and Clint were playing tag with Morgan, Bucky and Steve were in an intense darts competition with Nebula and… Tony had never felt so complete before. All of his family in one room. 

Happiness wasn’t something that he had noticed he was missing before he was completely wrapped in it. “Remember when you were a little shit?” Tony teased and mused Peter’s hair as gently as he could. 

Peter huffed but didn’t pull away. He had always been more physically affectionate than the others. Had always required a hug more than kind words. “I have  _ always _ been a little shit.” Peter insisted. “And I  _ always _ will be a little shit, dad.” 

“Your parents would be proud.” 

“I hope they are.” Peter always saw more than Tony wanted him to, even as a child. He always knew what Tony was really saying without him having to say it. 

Tony remembered the first time Peter told him he loved him. He had just had his eighth birthday and Tony had done  _ whatever _ Peter wanted to do that day. It had been full of Build a Bear and ice cream and a walk on the beach. It had ended with a tearful tribute to his old family, a visit to their graves, a flower and kiss to each stone before he  _ insisted _ they go to Tony’s family’s graves too. He had repeated the process there too - called Maria Grandma and Howard Grandpa even if Tony didn’t think they would have liked being called that. He had given Jarvis’s the biggest hug, though, and then hugged Tony too around the knees. “I love you, Tony dad.” That’s what it had been. Tony-dad. And then  _ dad _ a year later. 

“Always, Pete.” Tony kissed his cheek, breathed in his son for just a moment longer and then pushed him off in the direction of his friends. “Carol might try to steal your boy if we keep you here.” 

“God, he’d go.” Peter rolled his eyes but it was a joke that Tony knew was baseless. Especially when Harry Osborn -  _ Madison _ , Tony corrected himself - immediately shifted himself to be in Peter’s space, leaned into the arm he slid around his waist and the hand on his back and kissed Peter’s cheek when he blushed at whatever compliment Nat and Carol were giving him. 

“Come play darts, old man!” Bucky yelled over at him. 

“Who are you calling  _ old _ , Barnes?” 

  
  
  



	41. 2022

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof sorry for the wait on this one 🤦♀️

**_October 2022, Cambridge, MA_ **

**_ Bubble Buddies _ **

**Ned:** ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHH

**MJ:** stop screaming

**MJ:** go annoy your roommates

**Ned:** _ why do you think i’m screaming _

**Gwen:** did you walk in on them doing it again

**Ned:** ew

**Ned:** why did you have to bring that up again Gwen

**Gwen:** idk man

**Gwen:** why else are you screaming about them

**Betty:** lmao you opened your birthday present?

**Ned:** _ y e s _

**Ned:** but their door is locked so i can’t go yell at them in thanks

**Harry:** Peter*

**Harry:** i’m in class

**Marco:** bonjour

**Harry:** bonjour

**Harley:** i need help 

**Harry:** extensively

**MJ:** ha

**MJ:** burn

**Harley:** rude

**Gwen:** awe

**Gwen:** Harley what do you need help with

**Mary Jane:** I regret befriending all of you

**Gwen:** but

**Gwen:** Mary

**Mary Jane:** deal with it

**MJ:** double burn

**Harley:** idk what i did to deserve this

**Harley:** who wants to help me with my business strategies homework

**Peter:** mom 

**Harley:** fair

**Harley:** i was looking at your boyfriend though

**Harry:** no

**Marco:** you should not be shocked 

**Harley:** but

**Harley:** you’re so  _ good _ at it

**Harry:** and i’m purposely  _ not _ in business school

**Mary Jane:** because you’re lame

**MJ:** happy birthday Ned

**Peter:** !!!

**Peter:** did you open your present?

**Ned:** yes!

**Ned:** unlock your door so i can tackle you

**Peter:** but that means i have to get out of beddddd

**Harry:** lazy

**Peter:** excuse you

**Ned:** Peter let me  _ love you _

**Peter:** just yell your love through the door

**Harry:** you have class in like an hour

**Peter:** yes that’s half an hour more of sleep

**Harry:** if you’re late that’s on you

**Peter:** i’m aware of that babe

**Harley:** god it’s been years and you two are still disgusting

**Peter:** you and Marco are equally disgusting

**Mary Jane:** The only  _ not _ disgusting couple are Ned and Betty

**Betty:** that means a lot

**Ned:** we try hard not to make you upchuck

**MJ:** my favorite couple is Gwen

**Gwen:** and you?

**MJ:** just Gwen

**Gwen:** i

**Harry:** that’s not how that works

**Mary Jane:** god who goes to Harvard for art

**Harry:** a shocking amount of people

**Harry:** why are you judging me this way

**Mary Jane:** because you deserve it

**Peter:** wait why are we judging Harry

**Peter:** can we not kill his confidence this early in the morning

**MJ:** god you’re so protective

**Gwen:** i support this side of you

**Harley:** some of us are still struggling with class

**Peter:** why did you even take business

**Harley:** because  _ one _ of us has to actually know what they’re doing when we get handed the business

**Peter:** ehhh

**Marco:** Harry en sait assez pour vous deux (Harry has enough for both of you)

**Harry:** rude

**Peter:** it’s not Har’s job to run Stark Industries

**Gwen:** when you get married who is taking who’s last name

**MJ:** who’s taking which last name in the Nebula and Cas marriage

**Harry:** Nebula meaningfully chose Stark a while ago and Cas doesn’t want to make her chose 

**Harry:** so Cas will officially be a Stark in two weeks

**Peter:** _ oh god it’s only two weeks away _

**Harry:** the invitation is on the refrigerator

**Peter:** yeah tucked behind pictures from Morgan

**Ned:** and literally everything else we hang on the fridge

**Peter:** yeah that

**Gwen:** i love that Harry just manages all of your schedules 

**Harry:** i don’t

**Mary Jane:** I’d say it’s your fault for dating an idiot but I adore Peter

**Peter:** awe

**Harry:** god you can have him

**Peter:** excuse you

**Peter:** i feel  _ offended _

**Mary Jane:** I would marry the shit out of Peter Stark and idk why you  _ haven’t _ yet.

**Peter:** he’s a  _ baby _ we have to wait until he’s legal

**Harry:** omfg i hate you

**Gwen:** no marrying Harry until MJ and i have graduated and can be your drunk maids of honor

**Peter:** who says i won’t chose one of my sisters to be my maid of honor

**Peter:** or Mary Jane

**Harry:** or Betty

**Betty:** _ thank you _

**Marco:** excusez-moi (excuse me)

**Marco:** what am i

**Harry:** you are Marco

**Harley:** the best boy

**Peter:** you call  _ us _ disgusting

**MJ:** you are

**Mary Jane:** ^

**Ned:** omg i can’t believe i forgot

**Ned:** thank you for the present Harry!

**Harry:** fits good?

**Ned:** fits  _ perfect _

**Harry:** yay

**Peter:** wait no thank you to me

**Ned:** no you won’t come out of your room

**Peter:** i

**Harry:** you also are officially alte to class Mister Stark

**Peter:** _ shit _

**Harley:** how are you this bad at managing a schedule

**Ned:** don’t go out the window

**Harry:** if you go out the window we’re going to have to break the door

**Harry:** _ again _

**Peter:** whoops?

**Mary Jane:** I can just  _ feel _ how long suffering Harry’s life is

**Gwen:** rip

**Marco:** are we still doing Ned’s birthday dinner tonight

**Ned:** _ birthday dinner?! _

**Harry:** you are all literally terrible

**Betty:** that was supposed to be a surprise

**Harley:** Marco

**Harley:** honey

**Harley:** now he’s never going to help me with my homework

**Harry:** i was never going to help you regardless

**Harley:** _ i am so hurt by this _

**Peter:** aren’t you in class?

**MJ:** don’t text and swing

**Harry:** i’m at the internship

**Gwen:** galleryyyy boyyyyy

**Gwen:** i knew that though

**MJ:** they’ve been video chatting all morning

**Marco:** we have

**Harley:** it’s annoying

**Harley:** because Harry still  _ won’t help me _

**Harry:** jfc  _ i’ve been helping you you dipshit _

**Gwen:** go off babe

**Harley:** wait no come back

**Ned:** the  _ drama _

**Mary Jane:** I  _ love _ it

**Gwen:** i think Grandad loves Harry more than me

**Harry:** i mean

**Harry:** _ obviously _

**Gwen:** rude

**Marco:** he  _ has  _ been talking to you all morning, Harry

**Harry:** i know

**Harry:** it’s great 

**Harry:** i love him

**Peter:** how many people are you having conversations with at work

**Harry:** entirely too many 

**Betty:** why don’t have of you have class

**Mary Jane:** Time Zones

**Marco:** i have no classes Wednesdays

**Ned:** i have class in like twenty minutes

**Harry:** internship

**Peter:** i have class

**Harry:** Peter’s just testing out the theory of how little attention can he pay to class and still pass it

**Harry:** which, admittedly, is a lot

**Peter:** i

**Harley:** it’s true

**Harley:** i hate you you genius

**Peter:** but

**Gwen:** oop

**Mary Jane:** oop?

**Marco:** Harry just dropped his phone face down into paint

**Peter:** ooooo

**Peter:** rip

**_Panda-Man_ **

**Har:** i’m dying

**Peter:** uh

**Peter:** don’t?

**Har:** i’m not actually dying

**Har:** guess who just walked in

**Peter:** Carol?

**Peter:** Nat?

**Peter:** Clint’s entire family?

**Peter:** Eli running away from home again?

**Har:** stop guessing they’re all wrong

**Peter:** good person or i need to swing by there person?

**Har:** okay  _ don’t _ swing by anywhere

**Peter:** this is doing nothing to ease my worry babe

**Peter:** babe?

**Peter:** Harry you know you can’t send me a message like that and then  _ disappear _

**Peter:** i’m a worrier this is  _ what i do best _

**Peter:** i know you said  _ not _ to swing by

**Peter:** but babe i’m a little worried

**Peter:** i  _ will _ swing by

**Peter:** just in case it was code

**Har:** don’t you dare actually swing

**Peter:** i

**Peter:** oops?

**Har:** _ he’s _ here

**Peter:** who?

**Peter:** wait

**Peter:** no

**Har:** yes

**Peter:** _ how _

**Har:** idk

**Peter:** okay i’m still

**Peter:** he’s  _ still _ there?

**Har:** yes

**Peter:** you can’t like

**Peter:** make him leave?

**Har:** he’s not  _ here _ here

**Har:** i can see him though

**Peter:** well shit

**Peter:** okay

**Peter:** omw

**_Bubble Buddies_ **

**Peter:** this is a daily reminder that Harry Madison can be a real bitch at times

**Harry:** sdhgsudgs

**Gwen:** oh

**Gwen:** damn

**Marco:** i call abuse

**MJ:** lmao

**Betty:** what did he do?

**Harley:** i agree

**Mary Jane:** Tell me more

**Peter:** he tells me someone’s at the gallery right?

**Peter:** so i  _ worry _

**Peter:** and then he says  _ he’s _ here and my mind is like  _ fucking Norman _

**Gwen:** fucking bitchborn

**Harley:** was it dad

**Harley:** i bet it was dad

**Peter:** it was dad

**Marco:** hahahahahaha

**Peter:** he had me  _ worried _

**Harry:** i didn’t say it was  _ my _ dad

**Peter:** _ you didn’t say it was anyone _

**Harry:** i’m not sorry

**Peter:** _ this man _

**Gwen:** you’re going to marry him one day

**MJ:** this is wonderful

**MJ:** keep doing shit like this

**Harry:** obviously

**Ned:** hahahahahaahaha

**Ned:** why do you always fall for this Pete

**Harry:** why does your mind always go disaster first

**Harry:** i haven’t talked to Norman in years

**Peter:** because i  _ care _

**Marco:** to be fair

**Peter:** and Norman Osborn  _ would _ show up at the gallery unannounced to try and talk to you

**Harry:** would he?

**Harry:** with his new family and everything?

**Betty:** remember when they sent you the wedding invite?

**Harry:** yes we had a lovely bonfire with the invitation

**Ned:** we were very warm that night

**Peter:** maybe i just wanted to punch him okay

**Harry:** be my guest

**MJ:** Spidey just appears at Oscorp and punches the CEO for no reason 

**Peter:** i have my reasons

**MJ:** they don’t know that

**Peter:** don’t ruin my fun

**MJ:** i’m telling you to do it, moron

**Gwen:** create chaos  _ yes _

**Peter:** Harry and Cas together are a terrifying combination of sass

**Gwen:** why the  _ fuck _ haven’t you done it yet, Stark?

**Harley:** what?

**Peter:** _ shut it  _

  
  



	42. Finale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have any idea how to express how much each and every single one of you means to me. Thank you so much for coming on this journey with me. ❤

Harry loved weddings. 

That wasn’t to say that he had been to many of them - in fact Harry had only been to one before and he wasn’t really sure if it even  _ counted _ as a wedding. The two had split up rather quickly afterwards and Harry  _ hoped _ that didn’t set a precedent for what  _ this _ wedding was supposed to be like. Because he obviously had had  _ enough _ disaster in his short twenty years of life and Cas  _ definitely _ didn’t deserve that. 

She was, in all of her glory, absolutely terrified. Harry didn’t know if she was more scared of actually getting married or something going terribly wrong but, either way, she had been driving him insane ever since she had arrived in the states. Cas was spending the weekend before the wedding at their apartment and Nebula at Harley and Marco’s and it was incredibly obvious how much she was  _ trying _ to act normal and failing. For one, she hadn’t drawn a single thing the entire time but was clicking a pen nonstop as though she was. For another, she was on her tenth mug of tea and Harry had switched her to herbal after five and she  _ still _ hadn’t noticed. And, finally, she hadn't teased him and Peter  _ once _ about the lock on their door or the half built Lego set in the corner of the den. 

“Hey,” Harry nudged her leg with his foot from where the two of them were lounging on the leather sectional - Cas in her yoga pants and Harry in sweats. He had paint on the side of his hand and, he had noticed, a bit freckled onto the bottom of his chin. Peter liked to point it out whenever he noticed but he said it with a smile that took the sting out of his words.  _ Adorable _ , Peter called it - just like Harry called the pen he would find on Peter’s wrist from where he had thought up a solution or a formula and hadn’t had paper to write it down. “You’re missing all of Bette Midler’s glory by panicking.” 

Cas looked up sharply but kept a hand on the skin of his ankle and squeezed, just so, to show that she was one hundred percent there - even if the panic in her eyes betrayed that statement. “I’m not  _ panicking _ .” 

“Of course you aren’t.” Harry hummed and held her gaze until she looked down with a small smile. “Panicking is unbecoming of a lady.” 

“I do  _ not _ panic.” 

“You simply  _ overthink _ .” 

Cas swatted at the skin of his leg but there was no heat behind the blow. 

Two years ago she wouldn’t have dreamed of doing that. 

Two years ago Harry wouldn’t have  _ let _ her. 

“You know, no one likes snark.” She wiggled her cold fingers under the fuzz of his socks anyway and laughed loudly when he squealed in response. 

“I have it on  _ good  _ authority that some people do.” 

“ _ One _ person does.” 

“That’s enough for me.” Harry paused, tilted his head and laid it to rest on the back of the couch. He tossed an arm easily around her shoulders and felt her deep sigh more than heard it. Cas turned herself so that her forehead brushed against his, her eyes looking deeply into his own and dimples poking into her chin. “You’re going to be fine, maman.” 

“I love it when you call me that.” Cas said with a stroke to his cheek. 

Sometimes Cas looked at him as though she were amazed that her life had taken the turn it did. Harry knew enough about her past - told over late night ice creams and paint brushes and whispered in shadows of a museum - to know that she had all but given up on the possibility of ever  _ being _ a mother. And he also knew that she hadn’t exactly expected or wanted to be a mother to a broken teenage boy, yet still they had ended where they were. Harry knew her parents or siblings weren’t showing up to the wedding - they hadn’t been invited. He knew that there was a reason why he was both walking her down the aisle and standing beside her on the altar. He  _ knew _ it and he loved her for it. 

He smiled as softly as he could, looked away only when she did and shuffled himself down the leather enough to rest his head on her shoulder. “What if this doesn’t work out?” She asked softly. 

“What if  _ I _ didn’t work out?” 

“Oh hush, darling, you were always mine.” 

“And so was she.” Cas’s fingers stilled in his hair, wound around the strands and nails digging into his scalp. “Love is taking a risk, isn’t it? That’s what makes it worth it in the end.” 

Cas was quiet for a long moment and her breathing was matched perfectly to his own, rising and falling perfectly against each other as Sarah Jessica Parker jumped around on the television screen. “You would know all about that wouldn’t you?” She didn’t mean it in a bad way, Harry  _ had _ taken a risk years ago. He  _ had _ given up everything in order to protect the one person that made him feel as though he was worth more than a last name and legacy he never wanted. 

“Just a little.” Harry squeezed her around the waist and felt as she breathed out - long and releasing tension as she went. “And if you forget your vows I’ll just start saying them for you.”

* * *

“Nebula is effectively freaking the fuck out.” Harley said over coffee the next morning, the four of them at their usual shop for breakfast (like they did  _ every _ Sunday and just like  _ every _ Sunday they were waiting on Betty and Ned to arrive). Harry was disgustingly punctual which was arguably hilarious since Peter was anything but. Marco was the sort to sleep past his alarm even if he set it twenty times but an early riser and Harley… well Harry was never quite sure if the boy ever  _ slept _ . Still, somehow, the four of them always managed to get to the coffee shop a good fifteen minutes before Ned and Betty. 

Also as usual, they were seated differently than normal - Harry and Marco tended to pile onto a two person seat practically atop one another and Peter and Harley sat beside each other with elbows brushing and near constant ribbing. Peter looked more like Richard Parker the older he got - Harry had figured  _ that _ out when Peter had finally shown him the photo album Tony had put together for him when he had first moved in with the Starks. Harley, tall and built, looked like his own mother but Harry only knew that because Peter whispered it to him in the corner of a room once. Together they didn’t  _ look _ related but they had a certain air around them that told everyone that was even glancing their direction that they were brothers. “How is Cas?” Marco asked with a nudge into Harry’s side as he sipped at his drink. 

The tea jostled over the rim of the mug and Harry shot Marco a look that only received an innocent smile in response. He rolled his eyes and took the napkins Peter handed over wordlessly. “Worried but that’s normal for her.” 

“Sorry we’re late!” Ned burst over to their table, breathless and dripping rain from the downpour outside. Betty followed not a moment later, soaked umbrella next to all of the others by the door and bright yellow rain boots squelching with each step. 

“Ned, your jacket.” 

“Ned.”

But he was too distracted, holding the menu that they all had memorized anyway and skimming through the options while, simultaneously, telling Peter all about the newest article on Spider-Man, and the lack thereof New York’s original hero, on CNN’s website. He was dripping cold rain water on the floor, on the table, in Marco’s coffee, and on the sleeve of Peter’s shirt. “Ned!” Betty rolled her eyes and Harry smiled softly at the blonde girl but, obligingly, kicked Ned’s ankle to get his attention. 

“Your dripping, darling.” Ned flushed. 

“Oh god,” He scrambled out of the offending clothing - flinging more water droplets as he went - and, honestly, it was a testament to their friendship that Peter barely even blinked an eye. Fair, Harry thought, if Ned wasn’t a disaster it meant that Peter was. “I’m so sorry, Pete.” 

Peter nudged Harley until he made room on the couch. “It’s fine, what were you saying?”

* * *

The thing was… Peter was acting  _ weird _ . 

Not that Peter didn’t  _ always _ act weird. Peter was fundamentally a very weird person (then again, so was Harry and literally every person they were associated with). Every morning that Peter, somehow, managed to wake up before Harry he looked worried enough to give himself a heart attack, stress lines on his face and nails bitten down to the nubs. It could have just been wedding nerves - Peter was one of the Nebula’s groomsmen and, because of that, a great deal of responsibility was falling onto his shoulders. Except, when it was wedding nerves, Peter didn’t hesitate in telling Harry about it. 

Peter was terrible at lying, was another thing, and he tried desperately  _ not _ to lie to Harry. He also had a habit of informing Harry of exactly  _ how _ terrible it was that Harry was so good at reading people whenever it was brought up. Harry had asked everyone he could think of - Harley hadn’t been much help (but, then again, when was he ever) and had simply laughed at the question -  _ “When is Peter not acting weird?”  _ Gwen had told him not to worry and Marco had shrugged the shrug he had that told Harry that he knew  _ exactly _ what was going on and just wasn’t going to say anything. 

So, really, everyone knew  _ but _ Harry. 

Which was concerning. 

Mostly because Peter didn’t  _ keep _ things from Harry - they had stringent rules against that. Harry didn’t do good with secrets and neither did Peter, so they worked hard for honesty in all aspects of their relationship. Harry was half concerned Peter was going to break up with him but Gwen would have gotten that soft look around her eyes when he mentioned his worries and Marco wouldn’t have shrugged. They might have  _ liked _ Peter - loved him even (Peter had fit in surprisingly well with both of them but they had been  _ Harry’s _ friends first and foremost and they would  _ stay _ that way if anything happened between them) - but if it was anything potentially harming to Harry they wouldn’t have kept silent about it. 

Which meant what Peter was hiding was either one of two things: someone had either threatened Harry’s life if Peter spoke to him, or he was trying to plan something romantic. “It’s not like he’s proposing or anything.” Gwen said with a laugh in Harry’s direction when he brought up his prevailing theories on their daily facetime. 

And there was something about the  _ way _ she said it that had Harry tensing, just a bit, at the thought. 

The danger of being  _ smart _ was that Harry tended to ruin surprises for himself without even trying. Because a  _ proposal _ made sense even if it had never crossed Harry’s mind before then. It made much more sense, anyway, than the part of Harry that had been telling him that Peter was setting up for a  _ break up _ . “Gwen,” he said slowly, hand outstretched to grab onto the wall for support. 

“No.” She blanched and covered her candy apple lips with her hand. “ _ No _ .” 

“ _ Gwen _ .” 

“No!” She was shaking her head hard enough that the pony tail atop her head was coming undone. 

“Gwen!”

“ _ I know! _ ”

* * *

“Getting engaged at someone else’s wedding is tacky.” 

“What brought that on?” 

“Just saying.” 

* * *

Weeks. 

It had been  _ weeks _ . 

And Harry wasn’t trying to step on anyone’s toes - Peter could ask whenever he wanted - but  _ god _ watching him squirm was enough to make  _ Harry  _ squirm. They had gone out plenty too - they had a standing date night every Friday and Peter had been granted  _ many _ opportunities to actually  _ ask _ and never seemed to do so. Harry was all about the right moment, he understood the  _ need _ to wait until the right moment more than anyone else, but if Peter didn’t ask soon  _ Harry _ was going to just do it himself. 

For one, their entire dinner that night was the  _ perfect _ time to ask. Or, well, Harry would have asked then. He would have put it in the glass or had the waitress come out with it on top of a cupcake with the question asked in chocolate sauce on the plate. He would have asked against the backdrop of Boston Harbor, would have asked literally  _ anywhere _ . There was even one point where he thought Peter was going to - he had knelt down when Harry was looking away and when he turned around had been on one knee but he had simply been tying his shoe and, when he caught sight of Harry’s eyes, had flushed and abruptly stood up. 

So, really, Harry couldn’t be blamed for finally just…  _ losing it _ . He dropped abruptly back onto their bed, crinkling the fabric of his suit and running an aggravated hand through his hair. He frowned at the blue paint on his palm - he had thought he had cleaned all of that off before they left - and pathetically groaned into the crease of his elbow. 

“You good, Har?” Peter nudged his foot as he walked by to the bathroom, shirt undone and untucked and curls an absolute mess over his forehead. He had a scar on the side of his wrist from when one of his personal rogues gallery had broken his wrist enough it had broken through the skin years ago and had looked devilishly handsome all night. Granted, Peter looked devilishly handsome literally all of the time but  _ that night _ Harry had also put in an effort to match. Not that he didn’t  _ always _ put in an effort but… well the amount that Harry had  _ tried _ wasn’t actually important to the situation. 

Harry wasn’t a  _ patient _ person by nature. He had never  _ had _ to be. And while it was true that he had been treated horribly growing up he was also more than a little bit  _ spoiled _ . Most of the time, Peter found it adorable.  _ Most of the time _ , being the key word. 

“M’fine.” He muttered and sat himself up even if what he really wanted to do was just grab Peter and  _ make  _ him ask. 

But making Peter Stark do  _ anything _ that he didn’t want to do was nearly impossible. 

“So we have this paper due in organic chemistry right?” Peter started, leaning over the bathroom sink, shirt tails brushing against the back of his dark pants and eyes looking at his through the mirror. 

And Harry had never been one to think of  _ marriage _ . It had always been an obligation and, if he were being honest, something other people did. But, well, they were already practically married, weren’t they? They lived together, fought together, slept together. Peter was patient with him when he needed patience and he laughed at his jokes and was taking French so that he could actually understand most of Harry’s stress induced ramblings. He held his hand and danced with him and…  _ god _ if Harry wasn’t so terribly in love with him then he wasn’t sure  _ what _ it was he was feeling. Because Harry would give him anything if he asked. Every broken and shattered and torn apart piece of him and he didn’t  _ know _ why Peter loved him but he… well he was much too selfish to give him up. 

“Ask me.” 

Peter froze, toothbrush half to his mouth and brown eyes wide and a little worried, watching him through the mirror and whatever it was he was going to say about organic chemistry lost against the glass. “What?” 

“Ask me.” Harry repeated, nearly breathless himself. “Because I… you make me… complete and…” He licked his lips and cleared his throat and Harry wasn’t one for talking through his emotions and he wasn’t the  _ perfect _ person that the media wanted to believe he was. And Peter knew that and he  _ saw _ that and he still thought Harry was the best piece of art he had ever been gifted with. “And I don’t know why you keep waiting when the answer is going to be yes.” 

It was ridiculous - Peter was still holding his toothbrush and for someone with a sixth sense he hadn’t expected the way Harry had basically just ambushed him. “You…” He swallowed and the plastic of the brush went back in the holder much more gently than Peter usually put things back. He ducked his head and broke their stare and took a deep breath that had his shoulders rising up to his ears and maybe, just maybe, Harry had come to the wrong conclusion. “I had a  _ plan _ .” Peter muttered but turned around anyway, a velvet box in his hand. 

“I… I’m impatient.” 

“I know.” Peter laughed and grabbed the hand Harry reached out towards him to pull him up to his feet. He was taller than Harry now by a few inches and, yet, when he ducked his head with red ears he looked smaller than normal. “I…” 

“Just  _ ask _ me, Stark.” 

“Will you marry me?” 

“ _ Oui.”  _

“That means yes, right?” 

“Yes you  _ idiot _ .” Harry shoved his shoulder and pulled his laughing mouth into a kiss a second later. “ _ Of course _ .”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos give me life and encourage me to write so... if you want more please tell me

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Cause, baby, we’re just reckless kids](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25187203) by [Maya_Di_Angelo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maya_Di_Angelo/pseuds/Maya_Di_Angelo)
  * [two punks in love, you had my back from day one](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25006264) by [LilacsAndLilies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilacsAndLilies/pseuds/LilacsAndLilies)
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